Category: Review

La Quinceañera

  By

★★★½
“Unhappy birthday.”

If it hadn’t been for the lack of an ending, this would likely have got a seal of approval. The problem is, this web series came out in 2017, and as we close in on a decade later, I am beginning to suspect we may never see all the loose ends addressed. It begins with a quinceanera party, the traditional Mexican celebration to mark the coming of age of a young woman. In this case, it is being thrown in honour of Alejandra Santos (Xitlali), whose father Reynaldo (Mendoza) runs a Mexican restaurant. She really doesn’t want to be there, and her doubts prove well-justified, because it gets gate-crashed by Chavo Del Rio (Retamal) and his thugs. 

I was going to tag this as “Die Hard at a quinceanera“, since initially that’s what seems to be happening. Turns out Dad made a business deal with very sketchy people to “hold” various items. When some of these go missing, he is blamed (it’s actually due to ne’er-do-well son Santiago and his pal), leading to the unexpected arrival of Chavo. Reynaldo’s denials lead to things getting very bloody, but Alejandra is able to get the drop on one of the thugs: there’s a death by sceptre which has to be the most symbolic weapon used, since Zoe Tamerlis used an iron to crack a rapist’s skull in Ms. 45. It’s after this, where things divert significantly from the expected route. 

I will admit that Alejandra’s transition from truculent teenager to avenging angel is rather abrupt. However, it does eventually become clear that she has a lot of heritage on her side, not least her abuela or grandmother (Reynoso), who clearly has some history of her own. Indeed, on the Del Rio side there’s no shortage of bad-add mujeres either: the matriarch, Bertila (Bertila Damas), has some very strong views on this topic. By the end, it’s almost girls with guns the whole way down on both sides (albeit for some quite loose definition of “girls”, in regard to their age!). There has been a lot of ground covered, in around only seventy minutes: this is a web series of seven episodes, each being little more than ten minutes long. 

I was very surprised to discover this was a Canadian production, filmed in and around British Columbia. There’s a strong Southwestern feel (something I’m familiar with, living just a couple of hours from the Mexican border), and I will certainly be checking out more from the makers. At first, I had concerns it would end up being more of a teen soap opera – think The OC, with a side of salsa. Fortunately, the company name, Luchagore Productions, is a clue that it won’t pull its punches: I think the moment I realized this was where a party guest had his mustache carved off his face with a machete. Yeah, it’s like that, and the red stuff flows like the Rio Grande thereafter. Just do not expect any resolution. 

Dir: Gigi Saul Guerrero
Star: Mia Xitlali, Mathias Retamal, Mauricio Mendoza, Gabriela Reynoso

Canaan

  By

★★★★
“The Land of Hope and Despair”

I’ve to say this anime show is kind of unusual. While after the show there were some attempts to use the story as the basis for a manga series, it is not based on one – unlike what feels like 95% of all anime – but instead on a “visual novel”. I have absolutely no knowledge what a “visual novel” is. Wikipedia has this to say about them: “Visual novels are often associated with the medium of video games, but are not always labeled as such themselves. They combine a textual narrative with static or animated illustrations and a varying degree of interactivity. The format is more likely referred to as a visual novel game.” Well, so much for that. I guess it is similar to these old, “choose your own adventure” books of my youth, where you would make a choice at the end of the page, and depending on your decision would turn to a specific, other page, therefore creating an individual story narrative.

Canaan was inspired by a bonus on Wii visual novel 428 Shibuya Scramble. The game itself, I believe, featured live cut-scenes with real actors, but had extra content consisting of drawn anime-style images. As the game was extremely successful at the time of its 2008 release, it is unsurprising that an anime spin-off was produced in 2009. The original concept was by Type-Moon, with anime studio being P.A. Works. The original visual novel could go into different genres, depending on the protagonist the player chose. So it’s significant that the genre of the anime series also changes over time. In the beginning it can rightly be called a mystery, since you have no idea what happens here and why. Yet at the very end, it is full-blown action with a conspiracy plot sprinkled in, and elements bordering on science fiction. Albeit more “science fact”, because they are not far from possible reality, though quite exaggerated.

The new story starts two years after the “Shibuya event”, a viral attack on a train in Tokyo. Reporter Minoru Minorikawa journeys to Shanghai to find interesting stories, accompanied by young assistant photographer Maria Osawa. Osawa was involved in the event and came close to death, but was saved from the deadly virus by her father Kenji. Due to her trauma she has no clear memories of what happened there. In Shanghai, “there are a lot of stories, if people only opened their eyes to see them”, as Osawa puts it. A number of mysterious deaths lead her to meet Canaan again, a mysterious girl who once saved her life and that she longed to see once more.

Obviously, the girls feel strongly for each other and there are traces of the so-called “yuri” genre (girls in love) here. But Western audiences should be careful not to think this equates to lesbianism. Yuri is seen by many fan-girls in Japan as something “pure” and “cute”. Many fans would feel embarrassed if something so concrete and direct as sexuality was superimposed on such a relationship. I guess there are cultural particularities that cannot translate 1:1 into our Western cultural understanding, because they are so very different. Anyway, what’s at stake here is much bigger. One problem is, there are a lot of different things, elements and characters introduced at the beginning, which initially don’t make sense at all. Only slowly, as the story progresses, is it revealed how they connect with each other. I wonder if players of the game maybe had it easier?

We are introduced to all the main characters in the first episode (of 13), but they still have to meet each other and their knowledge is not the same. Minorikawa feels there is a story that he can’t quite grasp, Maria is happy to meet Canaan again, but after a key incident realizes that her friend is a trained assassin. Santana, the aggressive owner of a Karaoke bar, with his mute buxom employee and girl friend, Hakko, also doesn’t reveal his big, dark secret. There is a girl called Yunyun popping up in several different jobs around the city. And why are we being shown dangerous terrorist Alphard, who just escaped a prisoner transport and obviously plans something big, together with her companions, Lian Qi and her servant Cummings?

Then we are confronted with some words at the beginning that we do not yet understand, such as UA virus, borners and unblooms. I’m not really complaining, because I’m actually in favor of a movie or series not giving everything away too early. It’s fine if audiences for once have to work things out for themselves. I liked that aspect of the show very much, but can understand that those less impressed, or just here to see some battling babes, might be disappointed, or unable to connect with the show. Though, you don’t have to be an academic to understand the story. As the story progresses and the blanks are filled in, bit by bit, you start to see the whole. There is also more than one story being told. The characters all have individual parts and roles in the big picture, and are driven not exclusively by “the big thing”, but also more personal motivations.

It turns out there were secret viral experiments, conducted on the population of a small town by the CIA, through the criminal organisation “Snake”. This caused most inhabitants to die, while the survivors developed extraordinary abilities, but with downsides. For example, Hakko can’t speak anymore because her voice creates waves that affect the brains of those who hear her, and could kill them. Yunyun needs medication to not die before her time, and so on. The aim of the experiments was to create another Canaan, as she is a natural-born synesthete (don’t worry, I’ll explain shortly), who was brought up and trained, like Alphard, by the terrorist Siam. Alphard felt betrayed when Siam gave the new girl the same name as her – Canaan – and Siam started to change under the influence of positive-minded Canaan. So she killed Siam. This backstory was included as a bonus with the visual novel, but since you couldn’t assume viewers had played the game, it had to be mentioned in the anime, and becomes a key reveal here.

Synesthesia is a special condition some people are born with, meaning that some sensory perceptions can be “taken over” by other ones. For example, sound can be perceived as colours by these individuals. But it can take many different forms. In Canaan’s case, she “sees the colour of people”, meaning she can tell how they feel right now, as every emotion has a specific color. When she loses this ability at one point in the story, she feels helpless. With that said, the series does not portray synesthesia realistically, rather like some kind of superpower, more or less.

A confusing element is that the characters sometimes do not act or speak as we in the West would. Therefore, it can be quite the task to figure out why they do what they do, and what their motivations are, as they do not necessarily express themselves in a clear manner. Take Alphard, who lets Canaan off the hook more than once. One may wonder why she does that. But if you listen carefully, it becomes clear: Alphard defines herself through her own hatred, and wants Canaan to feel the same. She needs Canaan to be at her best when they fight. She does not just want to overcome Canaan, but destroy what she sees as the embodiment of Siam’s corrupted spirit. In a way, they are fighting about the value of the philosophical legacy belonging to their stepfather and teacher. That’s no small thing for an action story.

You could say that this is about two women finding closure with the past. Their different attitudes to deal with it become clear: While Canaan suffered as much from the loss of Siam as Alphard did, she was able to move on and establish a new positive relationship with Maria. While Alphard, despite becoming head of the terrorist organization “Snake”, has been eaten up by her hatred and suppressed feelings of guilt. She also can’t reciprocate the obsessive and essentially destructive feelings her “little sister” Lian Qi had for her. Oh, yeah: Lian Qi… She would be a feast for a psychiatrists’ conference! On a deeper level this is not really about bombs, anti-terrorist summits, political maneuverings (the US president and his VP don’t leave a good impression here), human experiments or even the big shoot-outs. It’s about the loneliness and isolation the individual characters suffer, and their hope of finding love and possibly redemption. There is a deep, poetic quality in the series, expressed in the dialogue, often less matter-of-fact but hinting at deeper meanings or feelings.

Some of the scenes depicted here are graphic and definitely not appealing. One scene involves a woman having sex with a dead man which, while you understand the intention behind it, is painful to watch. Another shows surviving town inhabitants that have lost their minds and appear very much like zombies in their behavior. The “unblooms” mentioned above, die a terrible death when they come into direct contact with sunlight. I definitely wouldn’t call this an appropriate show for younger teens. The grown-up storylines recommend it for older viewers, who can better appreciate the nuances it offers. At the same time, the drawing style is very beautiful – as to be expected, given those involved in the production – and the score invokes a haunting, dynamic, sometimes even epic and melancholic feeling.

The final showdown between opponents – not necessarily enemies – Canaan and Alphard is memorable. The audience wonder who will survive, the filmmakers having already demonstrated that they have absolutely no qualms about killing off main characters. While avoiding spoilers, I must say I have never seen a character exit a story in such an incredible manner! The very last scene, which is kind of an Easter egg, coming when the end titles play and after it, suggests a potential continuation of the story (similar to the open ending of Arcane) that never happened. That said, the resolution felt very fitting and “round”, so to speak.

Dir: Masahiro Andō
Star (voice): Miyuki Sawashiro, Maaya Sakamoto, Yoshino Nanjō, Kenji Hamada

Brutal Fury

  By

★★
“Cover not necessarily representative.”

While technically a 1993 release, the copyright date on this is five years earlier. That seems about right, because a more eighties movie, you would be hard pushed to find. The hair! The synth score! The fashions! But, to be fair, this makes it ahead of its time in some ways. It definitely predates Heathers, with which it shares a number of elements in common. It takes place in small-town Texas, where Lincoln High School is home to a group of female vigilantes called The Sisterhood. They take it upon themselves to act as moral enforcers, punishing with violence those who sleep around, take drugs, etc. Their latest recruit is Misty (Greene), recently arrived in town.

However, Misty is barking mad, the result of a lifetime of indoctrination by her evangelical and fundamentalist minister father. While The Sisterhood go no further than beating up those they find guilty, Misty is… more enthusiastic. The predatory lesbian gym teacher? Stabbed and pushed off a roof. The rapist football player? Suffocated and left dangling from the goal-posts. Detective Bill Griffin (Campitelli) doesn’t know what to make of it. Not least because his wife, Molly (Gebron), is currently undercover at the school, trying to bust open a drug ring. You’d think that might have merited attention from The Sisterhood, but apparently not. I guess they are too busy holding quasi-Satanic initiation ceremonies, which look they might have strayed in from the director’s cut of Spinal Tap. 

Molly isn’t exactly convincing as a teenager, despite dressing from the “Sexy Punk Rocker” aisle at Party City. But that’s alright, because the pupils at the school also look closer to their mid-life crises. Naturally, she ends up becoming one of the targets for Misty’s big finish, after she gets kicked out of The Sisterhood for being too extreme. There is certainly a lot to unpack here, and it definitely feels like there are a plot or two in excess of what the director could handle. In more skilled hands, this would definitely have had potential as a cult classic, mixing religion, morality and violence. But this was apparently Watkins’s debut, and little of the potential is realized.

He doesn’t even have the decency to deliver gratuitous nudity. I mean, staging a meet for the drugs outside of a topless bar? Sheesh. That’s your B-movie license revoked, right there. Greene is likely the best thing here, selling both of her personalities effectively: shame this was her only film. The rest of the cast vary from competent enough to “Was there really nobody else available for the role?” It is just in desperate need of executing its ideas with considerably more energy than Watkins can bring. Lean into the insanity more, play up the exploitation elements (for despite the title, it is neither brutal nor furious) and this would have the potential to become one of Quentin Tarantino’s favourite movies. Someone needs to remake it along those lines. 

Dir: Fred P. Watkins
Star: Lisa-Gabrielle Greene, Tom Campitelli, Annette Gebron, Karen Eppers

Enola Holmes 3

  By

★★
“The death of Holmes?”

To recap. I was unimpressed with the first Enola Holmes movie, but pleasantly surprised by the sequel. Unfortunately, the third time here is very much not the charm. It’s a regression to the irritating approach of the original, which seems more interested in virtue signalling – and of a highly questionable authenticity at that. I sincerely doubt any of the ruling classes in Victorian England genuinely gave a damn, in the slightest, about any exploitation of the British Empire colonies. It was what they were there for. We did not take over half the world, out of a desire to introduce countries to the delights of cricket. Mention “reparations” in the 19th century, and you’d have been locked up in the loony bin.

That’s where this ends up, though it takes a while to get there. We begin with Enola Holmes (Brown) in Malta, where she is about to get married to Lord Tewkesbury (Partridge). But second thoughts, and the discovery that her brother Sherlock (Henry Cavill) has been kidnapped, cause her to leave her fiancé standing at the altar. When his mother also disappears shortly thereafter, the game is truly afoot. Turns out that this is all part of a scheme by Professor Moriarty (Duncan-Brewster), who has broken out of jail. She aims to get her hands on gold stolen by the British Army – including Tewkesbury’s father – from Afghanistan, which is now hidden in a Maltese cave. But she needs Enola to find the loot.

Yes, she. Because Moriarty here is a woman. And black. I know the character was in #2, but it was a minor sidelight and could safely be ignored. Here, she’s front and centre, begging the question. If you want a black, female villainess, why not invent one, rather than forcing an existing, well-known character to undergo a sex-change? And, worse, a race-change? This is just one of a number of missteps here, in a film whose Victorian atmosphere is repeatedly undermined by poor choices of costume, make-up and dialogue. Basically, it feels like the makers couldn’t decide if they wanted a modern heroine or a period setting, tried to do both, and ended up breaking each equally badly.

The Maltese locations are attractive and well-used, while the cast are… okay. Not the film’s biggest problems, shall we say. Brown is now in awkward stage where she’s trying to move on from child stardom, and is currently transitioning. No, not that way. To adulthood. While it’s all a bit awkward, the supporting players are able to… Well, support her. But it would take Meryl Streep to be able to work with this script. The resulting downturn in viewership was notable, and you have to wonder if Netflix might decide to pull the plug on what is obviously not a cheap franchise. Despite the pleasures to be found in the second installment, I don’t think I would shed any tears should this be the end. 

Dir: Philip Barantini
Star: Millie Bobby Brown, Louis Partridge, Himesh Patel, Sharon Duncan-Brewster

A Beautiful Place to Die, by Christopher Greyson

  By

Literary rating: ★★★
Kick-butt quotient: ☆☆☆½

Kiku is an assassin for the Yakuza. Except, it’s complicated, in a whole variety of ways. Her current mission is to track down Alex Harris, who might or might not be the son of Takeo. He’s the head of the Yakuza in the United States, and the son of Kenzo, who is its overall leader. Takeo was also Kiku’s lover in the past. There’s also Jiro, who is Takeo’s half-brother, who is kidnapped by the Russian mob after the son of their boss is gunned down as part of a turf war with the Yakuza, and subsequently rescued by Kiku. Which is why tracking down Alex, before the Russians do, is suddenly of paramount importance. 

But, wait! For there’s more… There’s a mole in the Yakuza, passing information regarding Kiku’s every move to her Russian enemies, who want to make sure she does not succeed. Then there’s Kenzo’s half-brother, Daichi, whom Kiku helped get out of the gangster life, at the cost of a finger. He is now a farmer in Texarkana, but offers perhaps her best hope of succeeding – although comes with baggage of his own. He’s a half-breed, having had a Chinese mother, which unites him with Kiku, who is also not of pure Japanese blood, being half Korean. Her parents died when she was five, and the orphan eventually became a smuggler for the Yakuza. 

Did I mention it’s complicated? I will admit, there are points where I felt like I needed a scorecard to tell the players, especially the various interchangeable parts of the Japanese criminal organization. The way Kiku ends up caring for Alex, will come as no surprise to anyone who has seen The Three Faces of Gloria. It’s almost contractual that, when a female assassin has to look after a child, long-buried maternal instincts will inevitably bubble their way to the surface. I think the characterization here is probably the weakest element, with just about everyone feeling like they are a grab-bag of tropes, from the bratty teenager through the stoic samurai, to the troubled assassin who decides to rebel against the organization which formed her. 

It’s still an entertaining enough read that I was satisfied, with some good action set-pieces, such as when the Russians launch an assault on the safe house where Kiku and Alex are temporarily holed up. Some parts are a little implausible, with the Russian minions particularly incompetent. However, Kiku has been set up with enough care given to establishing her skills, that you can see her prevailing in the circumstances. Negative points must be applied for a blatantly cliff-hanger ending which, as ever, had the opposite effect intended, actively dissuading me from purchasing further volumes. Tell a complete story, and if it’s good, I’ll buy into it. Greyson does around eighty percent of that: consequently, it’s a one-and-done for me, albeit not one I regret. 

Author: Christopher Greyson
Publisher: Greyson Media, available through Amazon, both as a paperback and an e-book
Book 1 of 3 in the Kiku – Rogue Assassin series.

Hands

  By

★★½
“Needs more punch.”

This is a film I wanted to rate higher than I have. The performances are generally decent to good, and I don’t doubt the sincerity of those involved. However, both the script and the core action leave a bit to be desired. To start with the former, I’m not saying this story was written by AI. But if you did train ChatGPT with every combat sports cliché, and then ask it for a script… You probably wouldn’t be too far from what you get here. There’s Naomi (Williams) and Carter (Black), a couple united by their love of mixed martial arts. Until, that is, Carter refuses to take a dive in an underground tournament final, as ordered by the slimy Mindy (Thomas).

When he doesn’t, he gets sucker punched by the aptly named Killgore (MMA legend Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson) and dies. Two years later, Naomi has a chance in an underground tournament of her own. Absolutely no prizes will be offered for guessing who the bracket sets her up to face in the final. There are some other well-worn tropes, such as Naomi’s father (action film veteran Billy Blanks), a former boxer who gave up his career for the sake of his family. To be fair, it does not resolve quite as expected. While there is still the obvious confrontation between Naomi and Mindy, it doesn’t take place in the tournament setting. That’s about the extent of the deviation from genre norms you should expect here.

As noted, I did like the performances, which all hit the required notes. Of particular appeal was Thomas, who makes for a suitably hissable villain, with her Resting Bitch Eyebrows. I also liked Gibb, who took genre cliché #17, the Grizzled Old Coach, and brought it to life. Watching these two face off was close to the highlight of the film, from a dramatic standpoint. I appreciated the occasional dry moments of humour too, such as when tournament promoter Gregor mocks the large bad guy: “What type of name is that anyway? ‘Killgore’. His name is probably Marcus or Brandon.” So, the acting side of things, all told, was fine. It certainly was not the chore it could have been. 

Unfortunately, the action is underwhelming, and that applies particularly on the distaff side. Jackson, Black and Blanks all know their way around a fight: Kuhn and Thomas, very much less so. We see little of Naomi in action for the first hour, and when the “tournament” gets under way, the fights all seem to be over in thirty seconds or less. Mindy is even less of a threat. As the Big Bad, she needs to be established as an existential physical threat to the heroine, and that is something the film fails to do. It’s not often entries in this genre work better as drama than as action, yet such is certainly the case here. Given my interests, the results have to be classed as disappointing, albeit not fatally so. 

Dir: Justin Kuhn, Tanjareen Thomas, Donald Gibb, James M. Black

The Arrow Of Girls

  By

★★★½
“Mulan with a Bow”

This movie was inspired by a Chinese Opera story, The Iron Bow Romance, though obviously action’d up for the cinema. The heroine is Xiuying Chen (Meng), the feisty daughter of a former soldier, killed in no uncertain fashion, during the heroic defense of his country during the Ming Dynasty. She and her widowed mother now run a tea-shop, and her father’s heavy bow still hangs on the wall. Xiuying has vowed not to marry anyone, unless they can draw that bow. However, she comes to the attention of the slimy Lun Shi (Pan), the entitled son of a local commander. A conveniently passing martial artist, Zhong Kuang (Wang), helps her escape – in the process drawing her father’s bow.

Xiuying and Zhong have to flee, but discover proof that Lun’s father, Xulong (Li), is in bed with the enemy, diverting supplies which should go to the troops. Turns out he was also responsible for the death of Xiuying’s father. The couple – because, let’s face it, we know exactly where this is going – split up, with Xiuying taking refuge in Erlong Mountain, a hideout for all manner of rebels and outlaws. Here’s where the Mulan comparisons particularly kick in. For Xiuying disguises herself as a man in the bandit stronghold, in order to gain control of its troops and take revenge on Xulong Lun. In the original opera version, the bandit leader’s daughter falls in love with “him”; that doesn’t seem to happen here.

Indeed, even the inevitable romance between our leads is very much pushed to the background. They both have issues of their own to handle, and I was impressed that it’s Zhong who gets captured by the Luns, and dangled from the battlements like a novelty Christmas decoration. Consequently, it’s Xiuying who must rally the troops and has to face off against the enemy. Admittedly, it’s quite a small face-off, and this is where the film’s budget probably hampers it most. I’ve a feeling this was a made for TV/streaming film, rather than a theatrical releaase. Consequently, there’s maybe 15-20 people on each side. However, the emotional intensity here is top-notch, as Xiuying finally gets to confront Xulong Lun. 

It provides a thoroughly satisfying finale, which certainly kicked the rating up at least a half-star. Until then, it had been a little pedestrian, and the action falls into the “competent” category, rather than offering anything too memorable. However, I liked the performances, which are all suitable for the roles, and in general, the production values are decent enough to pass muster. In another world, Disney might have chucked two hundred million dollars at a live-action remake of this legend, instead of deciding to remake Mulan. Would probably still have been underwhelming though. The entire movie is available legally on YouTube (well, I’m going to presume that’s the case for now, until proven otherwise!), and is embedded below for your entertainment. 

Dir: Guoliang Wang
Star: Ke Meng, Yukai Wang, Yang Pan, Yunkai Li
a.k.a. The Legend of the Iron Bow

Nobody Wants to Shoot a Woman

  By

★★★½
“Better living through crime.”

Mary (Benko) moves in to a new Brooklyn neighbourhood, along with her husband, John (Gorn) and teenage son, Johnny. But neither of them are comfortable, the middle-class morality being an ill fit for John’s career as a bank robber. Unfortunately, John has an addictive fondness for gambling, which leads to him being gunned down on their front porch. This leaves Mary excluded by most of the other residents, and in a precarious financial position, unable to find legitimate employment. Eventually, she convinces John’s sketchy associate Sean (Godere), to bring her on board for his next robbery, and Mary discovers a hidden talent for such activities. This brings with it a new-found inner confidence in her everyday life.

The film reminds me of Monica la mitraille, though that was based on a real bank-robber, while this appears entirely spun from fictional cloth. However, it has the ring of plausibility to it, writer-director Enright creating characters and situations which feel distinctly lived-in. Mary’s character arc is strong and well-defined. She begins as someone stuck in an abusive relationship, though it seems only a matter of time before John’s self-destructive behaviour does, indeed, self-destruct. The question throughout it, how far will her subsequent path mirror that of her late husband? The police are circling, not least because of the media fuss resulting over the unusual gender of this criminal, nicknamed “Machine Gun Mary” by the press. There are also suggestion Mary may be growing a fondness for gambling too.

It’s this tension which pulled me along the narrative. It does occasionally lean too hard into the obvious tropes – I may have rolled my eyes at the “one last job” plot point, with Mary repeatedly stating she’s only doing this so she can provide for her son. In addition, none of the male characters are anywhere near as well-developed as the heroine. However, it manages to avoid relying entirely on them – or, at least, twists them in interesting ways. For example, the relationship between Mary and Johnny’s teacher doesn’t unfold as expected. Nor does that “one last job” turn out the way you think, although with hindsight, I could perhaps have predicted the resolution. 

You should not expect much on the action side of things, since this is, understandably, limited. While she does wield the automatic weapon after which Mary is nicknamed, this is purely for intimidation purposes. A few rounds loosed into the ceiling is more than sufficient, and she doesn’t shoot anybody, because she does not need to do so. Mary is smarter than that and, with the possible exception of the detective on her heels, is clearly the most intelligent person in the movie. She is definitely the least in thrall to the seductive addiction of criminal activity. However, how far will that take her, in a game where the house – by which, I mean the authorities – always win, sooner or later? That’s the key issue here, and I found it more than enough. 

Dir: Kerry Ann Enright
Star: Tina Benko, Michael Godere, Lev Gorn, Dane Zagarino

Seven Snipers

  By

★★½
“Firing mostly blanks.”

I’m not normally a stickler for accuracy in movies. My disbelief gets suspended so easily, there’s a hook for it beside the TV set. But I have to say, this provided a parade of occasions where it didn’t exactly feel like the characters were elite snipers. Indeed, at points, it seemed like this was the first time certain actors had held a gun, since they were pretending to be soldiers in the school playground, with a stick. In particular, they appear woefully unaware of the idea of concealment. I was painfully reminded of the Monty Python sketch, “How Not to be Seen”. Also, if you’re going to call in your old military pals, I’d go with a range of skills, not just snipers.

That’s probably just me though, and is getting ahead of ourselves here. This unfolds in the Australian outback where former soldier Chris Hendrix (Mitchell, sporting her natural Aussie accent, which confused the heck out of my wife) is living the quiet life with her teenage daughter, Anja (Wolfe). Dad isn’t in the picture. Naturally, the quiet life doesn’t last, with her past catching up with her, in no uncertain fashion, and in the shape of a grudge-bearing former colleague known as The Dragon (Roth). So she sends up a call for help, and her old buddies show up, only to start getting picked off rather quickly. Maybe leaving their heads above the window-sill isn’t exactly the best survival tactic. 

All this comes as quite a surprise to Anja, who just wants to bunk off school and hang with her boyfriend. Needless to say, The Dragon has other ideas. I quite liked the set-up here, with the relationship between Chris and her daughter credibly spiky. However, once the snipers show up, the film largely grinds to a halt, losing all momentum. It doesn’t help that, of all the forms of combat, sniping might be the least cinematic. One second you’re there, the next, your head explodes in a cloud of red mist. Kinda dull, really. Of course, we learn the “shocking” truth about Anja’s absent father, which should be absolutely no surprise, providing you have seen any films in the Star Wars universe, shall we say.

That the movie thinks this is a twist gives you some idea of the low ambitions here. It would have been more entertaining had the seven snipers turned up on the side of The Dragon, and Chris has to figure out how to defeat them. I mean, she does calmly tell her daughter about her 116 kills, a number at which Lyudmila Pavlichenko would nod approvingly,. Perhaps Chris could have used the help of Anje, whose archery skills are showcased early, only subsequently not reaching the level of importance I expected. Instead, things proceed to the highly predictable face-off between Chris and The Dragon. All that’s lacking is any particular reason to care much. Nicely shot, making effective use of the locations, yet underwhelming almost everywhere else. 

Dir: Sandra Sciberras
Star: Radha Mitchell, Tim Roth, Annabel Wolfe, Ioan Gruffudd

Detained

  By

★★
“The Unusual Suspects.”

I gave serious consideration as to not covering this here, since it is kinda fringe. The protagonist, Rebecca Kamen (Cornish), spends much of the movie handcuffed. This is not particularly conducive to action. But there are just about enough moments, as shown, where she gets her hands on a firearm, to crawl over the qualifying threshold. Don’t expect much in the way of girls-with-guns action. In fact, don’t expect much, full stop. For as the tagline above suggests, I preferred this the first time I watched it, when it was called The Usual Suspects. It begins with the police investigating a scene involving arson and murder, where one victim attempted to paint a name in their blood on the wall: “Jovan”. 

We then flash back to Kamen awakening in police custody, with no memory of how she got there. Seems she got off her face on drink and/or drugs, and mowed down a pedestrian. At least, that’s the story told to her by detectives Avery (Alonso) and Moon (Bloodgood). However, as things unfold, it becomes clear this is not a genuine police station. This isn’t much of a spoiler, because that fact is revealed relatively early in the process. It’s unfortunate, however, because this is the main point of originality which it has to offer. Turns out, Rebecca was involved in the disappearance of a large sum of money – Avery says eight million dollars, she rejects the figure, and suggests the legendary Jovan is responsible.

Regardless, Avery and team intend to pry it out of her. What follows is an hour of steadily decreasing returns, beginning with me thinking “They’re not going to go there, are they?” and ending with the sad realization, “They went there, didn’t they.” Cornish, whom you might remember from Sucker Punch, is actually the best thing about this. She starts off by playing the complete innocent, and you believe she genuinely has no idea why she is there. But an ability to read people like a world-class poker player, allows Rebecca to manipulate those who are trying to manipulate her. Consequently, it’s not long before ever-deepening cracks start to show in the facade of the opposing team. 

In particular, Avery – who was best friends with the previous owner of the cash – is prepared to go far further in compelling Kamen to open up her back account. The problem is, having initially shown the extraordinary lengths to which the gang are prepared to go to fake things, the viewer is left thoroughly suspicious of everything which follows. This is up to and including death threats aimed at small children: I was left thinking, “Yeah, sure…” The scepticism is, if you can to begin with, get past the completely unnecessary complexity of the original plan. I’d have bypassed all of it, and gone straight for the fingernail ripping. I guess that preference for the simpler solution is probably why I didn’t grow up to become a Bond villain. 

Dir: Felipe Mucci
Star: Abbie Cornish, Laz Alonso, Moon Bloodgood, John Patrick Amedori