★★
“The death of Holmes?”
To recap. I was unimpressed with the first Enola Holmes movie, but pleasantly surprised by the sequel. Unfortunately, the third time here is very much not the charm. It’s a regression to the irritating approach of the original, which seems more interested in virtue signalling – and of a highly questionable authenticity at that. I sincerely doubt any of the ruling classes in Victorian England genuinely gave a damn, in the slightest, about any exploitation of the British Empire colonies. It was what they were there for. We did not take over half the world, out of a desire to introduce countries to the delights of cricket. Mention “reparations” in the 19th century, and you’d have been locked up in the loony bin.
That’s where this ends up, though it takes a while to get there. We begin with Enola Holmes (Brown) in Malta, where she is about to get married to Lord Tewkesbury (Partridge). But second thoughts, and the discovery that her brother Sherlock (Henry Cavill) has been kidnapped, cause her to leave her fiancé standing at the altar. When his mother also disappears shortly thereafter, the game is truly afoot. Turns out that this is all part of a scheme by Professor Moriarty (Duncan-Brewster), who has broken out of jail. She aims to get her hands on gold stolen by the British Army – including Tewkesbury’s father – from Afghanistan, which is now hidden in a Maltese cave. But she needs Enola to find the loot.
Yes, she. Because Moriarty here is a woman. And black. I know the character was in #2, but it was a minor sidelight and could safely be ignored. Here, she’s front and centre, begging the question. If you want a black, female villainess, why not invent one, rather than forcing an existing, well-known character to undergo a sex-change? And, worse, a race-change? This is just one of a number of missteps here, in a film whose Victorian atmosphere is repeatedly undermined by poor choices of costume, make-up and dialogue. Basically, it feels like the makers couldn’t decide if they wanted a modern heroine or a period setting, tried to do both, and ended up breaking each equally badly.
The Maltese locations are attractive and well-used, while the cast are… okay. Not the film’s biggest problems, shall we say. Brown is now in awkward stage where she’s trying to move on from child stardom, and is currently transitioning. No, not that way. To adulthood. While it’s all a bit awkward, the supporting players are able to… Well, support her. But it would take Meryl Streep to be able to work with this script. The resulting downturn in viewership was notable, and you have to wonder if Netflix might decide to pull the plug on what is obviously not a cheap franchise. Despite the pleasures to be found in the second installment, I don’t think I would shed any tears should this be the end.
Dir: Philip Barantini
Star: Millie Bobby Brown, Louis Partridge, Himesh Patel, Sharon Duncan-Brewster


Poor Gal Gadot. Her career since
This had a fair number of decent and well-done elements. However, it very much feels like these are balanced by the aspects which fall short of adequate. How you react to this will likely be determined by your ability to overlook the latter, and appreciate the former. The basic idea is lean and mean. Sisters Jas (Purvis) and Laura (Pauley) are on a country weekend, when they encounter a car-load of men led by the particularly sleazy Randy (North). This leads to a home-invasion, a dead Laura, and Jas going on a rampage of revenge through everyone Randy can throw at her. Fair enough there, with enough brutal violence to leave the most blood-thirsty satisfied.
This one is fairly fringey, in terms of qualifications for the site. But I do feel, any film where a woman picks up and wields a chainsaw with bad intentions… Yeah, that’s pretty much a golden ticket to inclusion. You will have to be quite patient though. Very patient. It begins with a car crash which leaves Magda (De Mol), very much the worse for wear and badly concussed, in a gully off the road. She is rescued by Guy (Breck), an elderly gentleman who lives nearby, and who insists on nursing Magda back to health. However, matters are complicated by some rather dubious people, including Justin (Mills), who are after Magda and/or something in her possession.
We have written about some of the women who worked behind enemy lines for British intelligence during World War II. Names like
This is a nasty and grim piece of work, after which you will probably feel like taking a shower. However, I actually mean this in a (grudgingly) complimentary fashion, because it’s clear that director and co-writer Hyett was aiming for exactly that. Well done, I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though, and this is not a film I have any interest in revisiting. It takes place in an unnamed part of the Balkans (though my money is on somewhere in Serbia), during the ethno-religious wars which tore apart the region in the late nineties. All manner of highly unpleasant things went on: here, it’s a brothel in which kidnapped women are forced to service militiamen.
This is Broomfield’s second documentary around the topic of Aileen Wuornos, having previously made Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer. It’s a glorious doc – one of my all-time favorites – but is more tangential, being about those around Wuornos, seeking to exploit her situation for their own personal gain. He thought he was done with the topic, but he was called as a defense witness during Aileen’s final appeal against the multiple death sentences, largely because among those exploiters was her lawyer at the time, Steve Glazer. But around appearing in the witness box, Broomfield decided to make a second documentary, this time focusing on the woman at the centre of proceedings, all the way up to her execution by lethal injection in October 2002.
What I love about Broomfield’s work is, he goes where the story leads him. Some documentarians – and I’m looking at
There’s an interesting idea here, which somewhat works. But it’s perhaps a little too grounded for its own good. It starts in a London flat, where senior citizen Anna Marshall (Walter) ambushes an intruder, handcuffing him to a radiator. Turns out he’s not just a burglar. He knows about her past, and wants the truth. So she tells him a story… At the very end of World War II, her identity was Brana Brodskaya (Vega). She was one member in a small group of Russian soldiers, who have been given a very important task: transport a box back from Berlin to Moscow. Oh, and bury it every night. Inevitably, their curiosity overcomes them, and the box is opened, to reveal Hitler’s corpse inside.
I was quite startled to read some of the scathing reviews this received. For I genuinely enjoyed it, to the point it likely came one element (which I’ll get to) from a seal of approval. Sure, it’s nothing particularly new overall. However, I found it consistently enjoyable, to the level I felt no desire to look at my phone at any point. These days, that’s high praise indeed. It takes place in a slightly alternate London, where gang bosses Frasier Mahoney (Charles Dance) and Mrs. Christina Vine (Krige) are on the edge of a war for control of the city. There’s also a rogue element, in the Mushka Gang, who have turned an East End estate into a no-go area.
The “erotic thriller” now seems almost as quaint a part of cinema history as beach party films. It feels partly as if the Harvey Weinstein scandal made nudity and sexuality taboo in Hollywood. The rise of the Internet also provides easy access to all the naked flesh anyone could possibly want. Regardless of the cause, there are no longer big budget films like Basic Instinct or Wild Things being made, let alone being #6 at the North American box-office for the year, as Instinct managed [that said, United Artists paid $2 million for the reboot rights earlier this year. We’ll see; I’m not optimistic]. So in some ways, this feels like a throwback, drawing influence from Brian de Palma and Paul Verhoeven.