★★
“Fires mostly blanks.”
Buffalo police officer Megan (Sadeghian) is a highly-skilled cop, but has a crisis of confidence after being involved in the accidental shooting of a colleague. To help get her out of that mindset, partner Jeremy (Johnson) invites Megan on a weekend camping getaway in upstate New York, along with another couple. This goes horribly wrong, after they stumble across the summary execution of a drug-dealer by the local sheriff, Preacher (Kennedy) and his death squad. The four campers are now a problem for Preacher, so he seals off the area, and unleashes a slew of hunters, putting a ten thousand dollar bounty on the head of each target. Of course, you don’t have to be psychic to see it won’t be easy, courtesy of Megan.
When your story is one with which every viewer will be familiar, like this, it increases the need to nail the execution. Here, the results are a bit of a mixed bag, and I’m being extremely kind with that description. The best thing the movie had going for it, is Sadeghian in the lead. As the poster indicates, it looks like she could have been a better Lara Croft than Alicia Vikander (y’know, back when Lara still used guns…). She does a good job of commanding the viewer’s attention when she’s on screen. Unfortunately, the villains are feeble in comparison: often they’re the biggest danger to themselves, either deliberately or, in one especially eyeroll-worthy scene, accidentally. There’s a political subtext here too, which seems all the more dubious, given the film’s topic.
The biggest issue, though, are the frequent ways in which its flaws are obvious. A convenience store shoot-out, in which not even a packet of chips is displaced. A villain who gets “knocked out”, by a stone, marginally above pebble sized, lobbed gently toward them. The heroine supposedly being chased by a random hovering helicopter, while the vegetation nearby barely moves. Bad guys (and girls) whose incompetence is only exceeded by their inaccuracy. Thoroughly unconvincing bullet-holes. The list of problems here is just too long to ignore. On the other hand, I very much appreciated the presence of veteran actress Lynn Lowry, as a local who is less than enamoured by Sheriff Preacher. In a movie often teetering on the edge of self-parody, she has a calming influence, that helps keep proceedings grounded.
Lamberson also makes decent use of the wilderness locations. In particular, a series of narrow canyons, that provide a mazelike setting through which the hunters and hunted must proceed. But the good elements – the final knife fight between Megan and Preacher is also energetic – never last long, before something shows up to take you out of the viewing experience. I’d been waiting for this to show up on a streaming service for a while. Suffice it to say, it fell some way short of my expectations, and I probably shouldn’t have bothered getting my hopes up.
Dir: Gregory Lamberson
Star: Alexandra Faye Sadeghian, Bill Kennedy, Peter Johnson, Nicole Colon


★★★
There are quite a lot of familiar faces for this one. There’s the long-running relationship between Teresa and Russian mobster, Oleg Yosikov (Gil). This is somewhat reflected in the love triangle of her daughter, now very much her own young woman. Sofia has to decide between Oleg’s son, Fedor, and street-kid Mateo Mena. He rescues Sofia from a sticky situation, and those who want to use Sofia to force her mother into compliance with their wishes. There’s also faithful sidekick Batman, who has been with Teresa since the beginning. On the other side, as well as her ex-husband, whose power is now grown to such an extents as to be a real threat, there’s long-running DEA nemesis Ernie Palermo. He brought Teresa in, and is very keen for her to serve the rest of her eighty-five year prison sentence.
Although almost a decade earlier than Lin Hsiao Lan’s slew of fantasy kung-fu flicks, this shares a lot of the same elements – not least an approach to narrative coherence best described as “informal.” This starts at the beginning, where we don’t even get introduced to the participants, before the martial arts breaks out. As we learn a little later, it turns out this pits Chu-Kwok Su-Lan (Shang-Kuan) against three members of the Devil’s Gang, in defense of her two, largely useless sidekicks. This is just the first of numerous encounters between our hero – yes, it’s
Okay, I will admit that this strained credibility on a number of occasions, to the point that buttons were popping off its shirt. But I don’t think the makers were exactly going for gritty realism, and the bottom line is: I enjoyed this a lot. Certainly, more so than
Turns out, Erin has a past, and the publicity resulting from her impromptu heroism brings it to visit. She finds herself embroiled in murder, organized crime and police corruption, as well as more normal familial drama, such as neighbourhood jealousy and whiny pre-teen nonsense. One of the seven 45-minute episodes is entirely in flashback (unexpected Jamie Bamber!), explaining the reason she changed her identity and moved to Spain, as well as why those from her history are keen to catch up with her. Even the spectacularly unobservant Jordi begins to realize that his other half is not quite as claimed. Her original explanation of a relapse into alcoholism doesn’t exactly explain all the sudden absences, injuries and unusual behaviour Erin is now exhibiting, as she tries to manage the escalating situation.
Don’t mess with someone else’s dog. This is a good rule of thumb in most cases, but especially so when the owner is an unhinged teenage psychopath, with the both the talent and desire to inflict carnage in retribution. The
Somebody
You may have noticed that I’ve been on a bit of a spree with these Taiwanese fantasy-fu flicks of late. However, I think I’m feeling a bit sated with them at this point, and the law of diminishing returns seems to be setting in. There are only so many unconvincing male impersonators, bad effects (both optical and practical) and almost illegible and/or illiterate subtitles a man can take, and I think I’ve reached my capacity in almost of these categories. Fortunately, my queue of such things seems to be nearing an end, with just a couple more to go. Still, after this delirious experience, I feel in need of a week or two’s break from the madness.
Yeah, if the above line of subtitled dialogue makes sense, this film then ups the ante, with white subs on a frequently white background, and which frequently appear to be making a bid to escape from the bottom of the picture. It’s safe to say that a decent presentation of this, perhaps with a print which doesn’t look like it was left in someone’s pocket when their suit went to the cleaners, might merit a half-star more. A few more fight sequences would help too: the ones there are, don’t lack in quality. There’s just a bit too much farcical comedy for my taste.
If 2023 has been underwhelming on the theatrical front (to put it mildly), the various streaming services have certainly had no shortage of entries to keep us occupied here. This one comes to us from Paramount+, and stars Saldaña – already known around these parts, most likely for
Not to be confused with