★½
“The Tomb was already booked, presumably”
To be fair, for most of the time, this was likely hovering around the two-star range. Not brilliant: it was rather obvious why this had taken six years from being shot, to receiving distribution. But there was some heart evident, and I look kindly on projects which appear to be trying. Unfortunately, we then reached the end, which was clearly intended to work as some kind of stone-cold cliffhanger. Regular readers will know my aversion to these in books. It’s far worse in a movie, especially where you know – given the time elapsed – there’s precious little chance of a sequel to provide any resolution. I’m sure the entire cast has moved on to other things since.
It’s the story of the Sierra sisters, Hera (Swenson) and Athena (Lee), who are part of a secret group called The Society. They have been feuding across the centuries against another secret group called The Order. Hera and Athena are now on the hunt for the lost treasure of the pirate Blackbeard, reported to be buried somewhere near the coast of Virginia. The sister think they have a good handle on it, and along with their local guides, head into the swampy territory in search of the buccaneer gold, guided by Hera’s psychic visions, which pop up conveniently, as needed by the plot. Naturally, The Order are also keen to get their hands on it, and not everyone in the Sierra’s party might be entirely trustworthy.
It begins with an unconvincing depiction of Blackbeard’s death and a somewhat rousing battle for a relic called the Eye of Quetzalcoatl. But once we get past that, the bulk of the movie consists of an awful lot of wandering around marshland here, in lieu of… well, anything much. For example, it might have been nice to have learned about the goals of both The Society and The Order, and why they have been pitted against each other for so long. Nah. Let’s instead just have another of Hera’s obscurist visions where figures, whose relevance remains uncertain, make cryptic statements like, “Remember, as I have risen, things can be buried – can be unburied. Your past journeys will reveal the clue to salvation.” Look, can’t you just email her a Powerpoint presentation?
It doesn’t help that, for a centuries old secret organization, the representatives of The Order are… well, a bit crap. There’s only about four of them to start, and let’s just say, rigorous competence doesn’t appear to be a requirement for selection. Mind you, when they do show an evil streak, shooting people dead in cold blood, Hera and Athena are so blase about it, that the moment is robbed of almost all power. Not that there’s a huge amount of power to begin with, even before we get to one of the most “Wait. Is that it?” endings in recent memory. Well played marketing department though, for the poster and changing the title from the original one of Sierra Sisters: The Hunt for Blackbeard’s Treasure.
Dir: Josh Relic
Star: Kathleen Swenson, Celeste Lee, James Blackburn, Sam Barber