Lady Scorpions

★★★
“Growing old gracefully”

Cynthia Rothrock is 67 years old. That is considerably older than I am, and I consider it a victory if I manage to get out of bed in under ten minutes. I am certainly not kicking and punching my way through a slew of bad guys, in moderately convincing fashion. While this certainly has its flaws, it’s hard not to be impressed, especially for anyone familiar with Rothrock’s long career in action movies. Personally, I’m just glad she has moved on from the “erotic thriller” period of her career. Sixty-seven is too old for some things. But there’s also a passing of the torch here, introducing us to a potentially promising action actress in Caitlin Dechelle.

She was Gal Gadot’s main stunt double in Wonder Woman, and also doubled for Betty Gilpin in The Hunt. While still a little rough around the acting edges, you could certainly say the same about Rothrock’s early work, such as Yes, Madam. Here, she plays martial arts teacher Lacy Moore, who is estranged from her workaholic mother Alena (Rothrock). For several decades, Alena has been chasing after drug kingpin Lucien (Fahey), to no avail. He’s now ready to pass on the crown to his loose cannon offspring, Sonny (Manuel), After Alena interferes with Sonny’s activities, he decides to sideline her by kidnapping Lacy’s daughter, Ariel. Very poor judgment on his part I’d say. I suspect I need hardly bother outlining the rest of the film.

Though just in case there is someone who has never seen a film in this genre: Lacy reunites with Alena, and they team up to go after Sonny and rescue their mutual descendant. This involves them working their way through minor henchmen, until they extract Ariel’s location. There’s a rescue attempt, the duo get captured, we learn why Alena is so obsessed, they escape thanks to the help of a bad guy with a conscience, and the expected large fight ensues. There’s not much new here, and what there is, tends to be irritating. Del Castillo worked as a grip on a number of Tarantino films and it seems to have rubbed off, in the shape of inappropriate needle drops and villains who love the sound of their own voice.

In between the rolling of eyes these provoked, however, this has its moments. While it’s clear Rothrock won’t be scorpion kicking anyone, she has a grace and fluidity that’s inspiring. Or, would be, if only I could get up off this damn couch. Wisely, it’s left to Dechelle to do the heavy lifting in the action scenes, and she delivers, especially in a fight against fellow stuntwoman Mamyi Ithou, which I wanted to see go longer. I’ll admit to being a bit disappointed in the ending, since this goes from sixty to zero – more specifically, sixty to a “Six months later” caption – far too quickly. But it remains the best Rothrock vehicle I’ve seen in a while. If this is the way she chooses to go out, I’m fine with it.

Dir: Bruce Del Castillo
Star: Cynthia Rothrock, Caitlin Dechelle, Jeff Fahey, Jose Manuel

Arcane – League of Legends: Season 2

★★★
“Everything that goes up, must come down again.”

Note: Watching season 1 or at least reading Jim’s review of it is highly recommended. Spoilers will follow!

I never played the MOBA (multiplayer online battle arena) video game League of Legends. But I guess this was the case for many people, when they discovered the first season of the animated series based on it in 2021 on Netflix, and were surprised by its great quality. For Arcane – League of Legends was a show long in the making. That it finally came to fruition is probably mainly due to the persistence of producers Christian Linke and Alex Yee. The whole project had many creative problems to overcome, not least the indifference of Hollywood, where Riot first tried, unsuccessfully, to find a partner for a possible translation of their stories into a film version. It would probably never have seen the light of day if they hadn’t employed producer and writer Amanda Overton. She was able to see the dramatic potential of Riot’s fictive world Runeterra and take the needed steps for this to become a story.

The whole project was something absolutely new for all involved, because animated clips for games are not the same as an animated series. It spent a long time in development – production for the first season took seven years. Success could not be guaranteed, therefore needing another three for the second season to go into production without finished scripts for every episode, according to Variety. This resulted in a total budget of $250 million for the entire series. The first season cost $80m to produce; the second, $100m; the rest went into marketing the first season. This means every episode cost $13.9 million, the highest budget per episode of any animated series ever.

Given that, it’s no surprise to hear the rumoured three further seasons are not happening. However, the producers say that was just an inside joke: it was always intended for the story of the twin cities Piltover and Zaun to be finished with the second season. At least, it’s what they claim.  Watching the rushed events play out in season 2, with new, underdeveloped characters being introduced and old characters sometimes behaving inconsistently, and not necessarily in line with the way they were presented in season 1, make doubts about such statements absolutely justified.

In any case, here we go again! While normal watchers and fans had to wait 3 years for Arcane‘s second part. Season 2 continues its story immediately after the big bang, which we don’t get to see here, caused by Zaunite and gangster protégée Jinx, previously known as Powder. We get to discover which council members died and survived. That question seemed the most important one for many people, maybe only topped by the unresolved relationship issue between Jinx’s sister Vi and Piltoverian enforcer Caitlyn. Surprisingly, only half perished but Caitlyn’s mother, Cassandra, bit the dust, a potential catalyst for a revenge arc. But then, from the very beginning on, Arcane has followed much more complex storylines than your average Hollywood blockbuster.

For this show, it means what would be enough for your average action movie or TV series, is just the beginning. It’s what I think makes the series above average in general. It always gives more than you asked for, and at the same time surprises you with sudden twists, unexpected developments, plus nuanced characterizations and relationships that escape standard black-and-white. Well, at least the first season did.

Characters are flawed, not just good or evil. They try their best, or at least react in a way that is human and understandable. Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Sometimes your effort to do good is exactly what leads to society’s downfall. That theme was prominent in season 1; for season 2, it’s also about how the actions and intentions of different people can clash with each other. Also, Riot and its creative team seek to put things on their head, with unforeseen developments for their characters. Viktor becomes a kind of helpful messiah in Zaun; Jinx teams up with her former gangster-stepfather’s loyal lieutenant Sevika, with whom she was at odds before, and young girl, Isha; Jinx becoming the poster girl for what seems to be Arcane’s prepared re-enactment of the French revolution; and Caitlyn is de facto declared sole ruler by Ambessa Medarda. A fallout between Caitlyn and Vi puts their developing love story on ice and drives Vi into nasty underground fights. There’s a lot happening here and a lot to unpack, too; no review can cover it all, so I won’t even try.

The dreamlike quality of the animation is still overwhelmingly beautiful. Though in some scenes and moments, you may feel you already know French animation studio Fortiche’s shtick. Anything repeated can hardly retain a feeling of originality, though it still may look beautiful. Once again, the musical score is fine and offers something for everyone. When music and visuals come together, they very often make a fine combination, reminding me of MTV music videos of my youth.

Unfortunately, the songs are usually at the beginning of each episode. I preferred it the way season 1 did it – we didn’t know when a song would pop up. It could be the beginning, middle or the end of an episode, so it was a nice surprise. Also, while the previous season had around eleven songs, here there might be twice as many. After a while, the constant interruptions of the story for another music sequence can start to feel quite a bit distracting if not outright annoying.

Is this season better or worse than season 1? It depends on what is important for you. What I liked very much of the first season, was it being character-focused and psychologically deeper than you would normally expect from your average entertainment product. Also, the realistic depiction of characters and their conflicts with each other made me buy into the more fantastic elements of the story. I got the strong impression that, in contrast to many Hollywood creators today, those in charge had actually read books on screenwriting and building dramatic conflicts, as well as believable characters.

Season 2 is different: focus appears to be elsewhere. It seems there is so much the writers feel the need to tell, and by wanting to introduce more of the game’s lore, it sometimes becomes too much for its own good. There are many new developments, arcs, characters, etc. Don’t get me wrong: characters are still likable, but they and their developing relationships had much more time to breath in the previous season. Here, things seemed to go a bit too quickly, and I couldn’t escape the impression characters were sometimes turning 180° within minutes. Very often events or explanations are kind of summarized in montages with music put underneath. Of course, you can do that. But you shouldn’t do it all the time.

A clear minus point in my book: things that felt logically had to happen based on season 1, are discarded in favor of other story decisions out of nowhere. You can say while the first season was character-orientated, the second wants to bring in boatloads of lore. Didn’t Jinx kill Sevika’s boss Silco just a day ago? And now they are teaming up? Really? A kiss finally confirms the love between Caitlyn and Vi, which can be probably counted as pure fan service for the lesbian community. But then there is a breakup a few minutes later, and Caitlyn, who was introduced as a shy and sexually unaware person in season 1, is shown in bed with fellow officer, Maddie Nolan. That’s a new character, and we don’t get any explanation why and how they became a couple. Where did that come from? How convenient it happened between episode 3 and 4, which saw another time-skip of unknown length.

The same is true for the revolution of Zaun against Piltover. It seemed to be just about to break out but is skipped over, too. Suddenly we have a Zaun held in check by Ambessa’s Noxian troops. I guess it relieved the animators from the burden of drawing extensive large battle scenes here between Enforcers, Zaunites and Noxian soldiers. All we get is a small demonstration led by Sevika, that’s immediately put down. Nor are we given an explanation why Jayce thinks that the Hexcore could save Viktor – how badly was he injured? While we can assume why Viktor leaves his friendship with Jayce behind, he never really states a specific reason.

Why should the council accept Caitlyn as a new member, given she is only the daughter of Cassandra? Are political positions inherited in Piltover? If so, I’m not astonished the twin cities are having so many problems. Ambessa makes Caitlyn de facto commanding officer of the city and Caitlyn takes that position, only to backpedal an episode later. Why? If you want to tell an Emperor Anakin story, do so. But then go the full mile and show me her devastating actions, as well as the resulting impact. What is a story decision worth when you have no intention to make something out of it, and reverse it a couple of episodes later? It’s like starting to tell a story, then suddenly deciding against it.

Other things didn’t make sense, as if the writers lost track of their own story. How come Ambessa knows Vi? She is virtually a total stranger to her. How does she know Vi and Caitlyn were close? And why should she be glad when Caitlyn fakes the capture of Vi, since she has little or no meaning for her? I do get that Linke & co. are in favor of “show don’t tell”, and prefer visuals and the intelligence of the audience to deduce things, instead of showering them in spoken info-dumps. But these things don’t appear logical anymore and demand explanations that are not given here. As someone who doesn’t know the game, I also had quite some problems understanding what was happening with the Hexcore, especially at the end.

Caitlyn in particular has a lot to answer for: she changes so often this season, that she could be called the poster child for inconsistent character writing. It’s as if the makers were preparing certain things, then didn’t want to follow through or got scared of their own boldness. Where is the bloody revolution, the big civil war that loomed all over season one, and whose ending seemed to be so unavoidable? I have to shake my head in disbelief at the storytellers, obviously preparing a love story between two main characters, only to chicken out for want of not having them come together too early, meaning they bond physically just shortly before the finale. Unfortunately, when said scene finally happens, it feels very much “too little, too late”. [Did they really do it on the floor of a dirty prison cell, while the climactic battle was simultaneously brewing outside?]

It should be noted that the series is not a Netflix product; Netflix was just offered the show as a distributor. Riot Games, its creator, financed the series themselves and had French animation studio Fortiche produce it. It might explain why the usual “propaganda” we see in a lot of Netflix-productions is less obviously present in this. This show mainly abandons lectures in favour of its narrative. Though it’s fair to stress the story is focused on strong, powerful women. Male characters appear either as weak and emasculated (Viktor, Salo, Heimerdinger, Caitlyn’s father), negatively portrayed (Silco, Singed, Marcus, Finn, Smeech), non-intimidating boyfriend material (Jayce, Ekko) or – and this becomes almost a dead horse – dead/absent father figures (Silco, Vander and Marcus).

If you are an imposing strong man, here it is usually as a supporting character without any agency of his own (such as “The Scowler”, Loris or Riktus, Ambessa’s muscular right-hand man). If you had told this story a few years ago, Jayce and Caitlyn would have become an adored couple – an idea the first season seemed to toy with for a moment, then quickly discarded. But as we live in ‘enlightened times’, the show sees the sensitive Jayce being seduced by powerful black leader Mel Medarda, and Caitlyn is revealed as a lesbian.

Disappointingly, the expected big final fight between Vi and Jinx is not to be found here: instead, they get along again after a bit of a brawl. Jinx the psycho? She seems quite normal again, after playing surrogate mother to the mute Isha for a couple of episodes. That’s far from any normal psychological reality. The screenwriters aren’t even above shamelessly milking nostalgia by giving us a flashback to Vander, Silco and the mother of Vi and Jinx sitting in “The Last Draw” – in a way it’s even repeated later again. Cheap, cheap, cheap!

Certain developments feel hasty, rushed and insufficiently explained. If I didn’t look it up, I’d have no idea about the meaning of the Black Rose. Maybe the Ambessa novel coming out next year might make things clearer? Fans may know what this is about; but it’s not how you present a story to people who have no prior knowledge of the game’s lore. By doing things like this you essentially exclude them from the show. I will say, it becomes better in later episodes. Episode 7 function as some kind of alternative universe story, that works as a stand-alone. Episode 8 finally gives us information we could have used earlier, when the characters have some much needed discussions with each other. Unfortunately, the last episode opts for a finale akin to a typical Tolkien adaptation by Peter Jackson, with what appears to be the villain from Avengers 2: The Age of Ultron, and partly falls prey to esoteric mumbo-jumbo.

Also, newly introduced characters such as Isha, Loris or Mattie are never developed. What can we really say about them? What is the sense of introducing an admittedly cute little girl into the story, having her do or say little of significance, only to kill her off a few episodes later? Yeah, I know, it has shock value when a child dies. But “kill the cutie” is one of the cheapest cliches. I did not expect the makers would fall to the level of George R. R. Martin, after the screenwriting skills they demonstrated in season one. [But there might be a simple explanation: I read that four of the screenwriters in season one were not part of the writing committee for season two.] For me these things indicate a rushed, not thought through screenwriting process. Obviously having “only” three years for the second season, compared to seven for the first, led to a tangible loss of quality in the careful construction of scripts and characters.

The first season’s story built up, with logical progression, and you could quickly identify with the characters’ psyches and what drove them. Don’t get me wrong, the show is still very good and entertaining, but would have been much better served if this edition had more time to breath and been spread over two or maybe even three seasons, instead of just one. Too often you feel that there are scenes or needed explanatory dialogues missing, as if they had to be cut or were never written. Consequently, while I would easily have given season one 4 stars, season two lands with only 3.

Also, there is a slight change in style. While it’s still a drama, this season seems to skew a bit more horror-orientated. Body modification (see Viktor) plays a role here, as well as the frightening abilities of the “Hexcore”, which seems to develop like a living organism. We get enforcers hunting Jinx with gas into the deep mines, and unscrupulous scientist Singed creating Warwick, a kind of werewolf-ian monster, predicted by some LoL fans after seeing the last scene of season 1. The show as a whole gets more fantastic, compared to the more retro-SF leanings of the first season.

That said, the story arcs started three years ago are brought to an end, and that doesn’t necessarily mean a happy end for all. You have to deal with the new developments, regardless if you might have wished the show to develop in a different direction. The series is still the best in its specific genre – I guess that would be animated steampunk fantasy? – and market segment, though potential new competitors like Blue Eye Samurai are lurking around the corner.

Piltover looks very much Art Deco to me while Zaun is influenced by the style of Art Nouveau. I sometimes feel the twin cities remind me of a fantastic, retro-version of Paris at the beginning of the 20th century. Or maybe a bit earlier, around 1870 and the Belle Epoque – which makes sense, considering animation studio Fortiche has its headquarters in Paris. There is a clear commitment of Fortiche to artistry; there is hardly a frame that is not incredibly beautiful or fascinating. You could easily cover your whole living room wall with pictures of the show. Any complaints I have, are not about them: they did their work. They already are working on animated movie Penelope of Sparta (about Odysseus’ wife in Greek mythology). If it has half of the technical quality of Arcane, consider my ticket bought!

I liked season 2 but I didn’t love it. The action is still great, as are the visuals, in combination with a captivating soundtrack. You still care for the characters – though sometimes you just want to slap them right and left in the face, to get them to their senses or make up their minds. The show is complex and deals with modern but also timeless themes underneath its entertaining facade such as social injustice, the advantages and dangers of new technologies (if you want you can read “Hextech” as a metaphor for nuclear energy, environment endangering industrial processes in general, weapons of mass destruction, body modification or politics that are lead by economical interests only), and the corruption and ignorance that power creates.

But there are also psychological and social themes of conflict: emotion versus intellect, safety versus liberty, preservation of the status quo versus progress by destruction of the existing system. These are best represented in sisters, Jinx and Vi, whose already shaky patchwork family has been torn into pieces by these battles. Yet it also shaped them, and put them on a collision course against each other. Or so it seemed, since the final confrontation is between Jayce and Viktor, while Jinx is given an unnecessarily bland, sacrificial death to save her sister – although the creators hint at the end that she may have survived. You could argue the character’s potential has been entirely wasted in the attempt to reshape her into a more positive protagonist in season two. I repeat: it feels absolutely weird. Looking at the titles of the first season I always expected the final fight to be between Jinx and Vi, and it feels like another broken storytelling promise.

A minor complaint I have is, all these problems are shown, but a real solution isn’t offered for them. Yes, there are many good-hearted people here. who want the best for everyone, all fighting on different fronts, But in the end these eternal conflicts that mankind has suffered from since its existence are not really solvable. It’s kind of a downer when it comes to this original, very ambitious story. So, is season 2 what The Last Jedi was to The Force Awakens? Naah. It’s more what The Matrix sequels were to the first Matrix. Less a major disappointment than an unnecessary continuation of a perfect original. Honestly, I could have done without all the new fantastic elements and story arcs. I just wanted to see the resolution of the story the first season promised me.

Expectations set by the first season were maybe too high, but could have been at least partly fulfilled. The first gave us some kind of Greek tragedy in a fashionable modern dress, this feels more like just another fantasy show, with added modern “diversity”. The end of season one, though an open one, felt logical and justified. In a way, we could imagine the results of the final action and it didn’t really demand a sequel. The ending here feels kind of average and is unsatisfying as storytelling, perhaps partly due to already preparing another new show, probably set in Noxus. While still an entertaining series, the sad thing is that might be it for the time being.

While further TV and movie projects are planned, it appears the TV and film department of Riot has been disbanded and the team members moved to other departments in the studio, according to media reports. With a $3 million license fee per episode from Netflix and another $3 million from a Chinese distributor, do the math yourself. The show will not really be profitable, despite its popularity, though it may try to recover some costs from merchandise, the release of season one on Blu-Ray this year, selling skins for their game. But it has been reported, the best they can hope for is to break even, which is not a recommendable business model, understandably. Therefore, I’m quite astonished to hear producer Christian Linke talking about another project already in preparation since last year.

Personally speaking, it would be a shame if this is the last story we see from the League of Legends universe outside of the game. The screenwriters and producers would just have to be given enough time to develop something of a similar dramatic quality to season one. Focus on characters, not so much on lore. One story at a time is enough; we don’t have to know them all immediately. But who knows? Maybe one day it might come back due to popular demand, and because someone puts enough money on the table. Films of yesteryear (like right now: Gladiator) get sequels decades later, and TV shows I last saw when I was a hopeful 30-something return all the time. Why shouldn’t that be possible for this series, too?

Creators: Christian Linke and Alex Yee
Star (voice):Hailee Steinfeld, Ella Purnell, Kevin Alejandro, Katie Leung

Dominique

★★★★
“Ukraine 1, Colombia 0.”

We’ve been keeping an eye on the career of writer-director Ojeda since Savaged, more than a decade ago. We last saw his work with The Russian Bride, which shares the same star in Orlan, but I do feel the pieces have finally come together. Sure, this is imperfect. However, the positives are pretty damn impressive, and as a throwback to the action golden era of the eighties, this is close to spot-on. It begins with a plane crash, as the aircraft piloted by Dominique (Orlan) is shot down in rural Columbia by the local cartel. Their effort to loot the wreckage goes wrong, because Dominique is not dead, and quickly demonstrates the skills she had in a previous life as a Ukrainian assassin. 

She was badly injured in the crash, and ends up taking shelter in the small town of San Lucas, at the home of police officer Julio (Carvajal) and his family. He’s gathering evidence against his corrupt boss, Chief Santiago (Compte), who’s working with the cartel. When Julio is exposed, Santiago decides an example must be made of the informant, wiping out not just his employee, but his entire family. The only thing standing between them and annihilation is Dominique. After she successfully repels the initial assault, she has to fortify the family home, and prepare to fend off everything Santiago can throw at her. Which is a lot of cannon fodder. Most of it tactically inept, I must say.

The character work in this is strong, on both sides. Santiago is spectacularly evil, to the point he could have been a caricature. Yet Compte’s performance keeps it just human enough to be truly scary, due to his complete disregard for life. On the other side, Orlan keeps things very subdued, to the point of seeming dead inside, due to past trauma. Is this limited acting range? Or a very subtle performance? Could be either. In any case, it works, tiding the viewer over until the extended eruption of violence, which occupies most of the movie’s second half. As noted, it does rely on the attacking forces underestimating their opponents, to put it mildly. But Ojeda mixes the combat up nicely, and it’s a blast to watch.

The ending. Hoo-boy. It does one thing right, both brilliant and terrible at the same time. But it then bails out, what should have been the climax, is literally run underneath its end-credits. This is a brave choice by Ojeda. It didn’t work for me, and I’d rather have seen one final spasm of ultraviolence from the heroine. That it still was good enough to get our Seal of Approval says something. If it had sealed the deal, the movie could have ended up making my top ten for the year. It remains a film I enjoyed watching, and would definitely not mind seeing Dominique in action again in future. Or whatever Ojeda comes up with: I’m down for that too.

Dir: Michael S. Ojeda
Star: Oksana Orlan, Maurice Compte, Sebastian Carvajal, Alanna De La Rossa

The Final Heist

★★
“Interesting premise, incredibly bland execution.”

I liked the idea of this. A gang of five thieves, four women and Liev, give up the game after a robbery goes wrong and Liev gets arrested. He doesn’t give up his accomplices, who include his pregnant girlfriend Willa (Banus), and goes to jail. Six years later their daughter falls ill, and desperately needs matching tissue to repair her heart valve. The bad news: it has to be her father, who’s still in prison. Worse news: he’s in a coma, having been beaten up on the orders of the governor. Willa decides to put the band back together, along with an unlicensed surgeon, to break into prison, and extract the necessary tissue to save her daughter. 

That’s not something I’ve seen in a film before. It’s certainly a twist on the usual “women in prison” subgenre, and the scope for a tense thriller, as the reverse heist unfolds, is obvious. Unfortunately, it’s the best part of an hour before we get to the execution, and there’s not enough to retain interest. It doesn’t help that the plot has so many holes through which you could drive an oil tanker. For example, Flynn (Ma) gets a job in the prison library, becoming the gang’s inside woman. She’s gaily snapping cellphone photos inside the jail, when two minutes of Googling confirms exactly what I suspected – that every prison I could find, has an almost zero tolerance policy for mobile devices.

Though in general, this correctional facility has security roughly comparable to your local electronics store, and you will be left with little confidence in just about anyone involved in the penal industry. Not that Willa and her team can really claim the moral high ground here, if you think about it. They are the “good girls” only because the film tells us they are. Given the first thing we see them do is robbing an armoured truck by threatening the driver with an explosive device, I’m not sure that’s truly the case in any court of morality. I’d rather have seen them embrace this ambiguity in some way, rather than dropping in a cliche straight from a Lifetime movie, a desperately ill child. Who can possibly root against Willa now?

Indeed, in tone, a lot of this feels like it could have straight in from a TV movie. Things do pick up somewhat down the stretch, not least with some unexpectedly graphic open-heart surgery, and when Willa is forced to make an unexpectedly difficult choice. However, it likely counts as a minimal spoiler to say that all ends well – at least, for the majority of the cast – with justice served on the bad people. [Robbery, it appears, does not count…] From a technical point of view, it’s reasonably well-assembled: “competent” would be the word, though it’s equally lacking in flair. The highest praise I can give this, is to say that I did not fall asleep. Might have been close in the first hour.

Dir: Ted Campbell
Star: Camila Banus, Jasmine Shanise, Virginia Ma, Shonte Akognon

Don’t Move

★★★
“Suicide hotline stalking”

A somewhat gimmicky but adequately competent Netflix Original, I guess the moral here is that being abducted and stalked by a serial killer is the best kind of therapy. We meet Iris (Asbille) in the remote woods where her young son previously died. She never recovered, and is now standing on edge of a cliff, contemplating suicide. She’s interrupted by the arrival of a stranger, Richard (Wittrock), who talks her down. However, it turns out he has an ulterior motive: he wants to be the one to kill Iris. He tazes her, and while subsequently managing to escape, she has also been injected with a muscle relaxant that in twenty minutes will render her unable to move. 

Obviously, this makes for a perilous situation, as the drug slowly works its way through her system, eventually shutting down almost all conscious muscle movements. As such, it is going to be an “action” heroine film more in spirit than literally. For the vast majority of the film, Iris is unable to do very much more except blink enthusiastically. Naturally, both coming and going, the chemicals operate in exactly the way necessary to facilitate the script, and ratchet up the tension. Need to alert a suspicious police officer (Francis) to her presence? She will be able to move her hand just enough for that purpose, albeit very slowly. However, the script is assembled well enough, these moments feel organic enough to pass muster.

I think the best sequence has her washing up on the land of the reclusive Bill (Treadwell), an old geezer who is initially able to help. However, he is interrupted by the arrival of Richard, supposedly looking for his mentally disturbed wife. Bill can sense this isn’t exactly the truth, but Richard spins a plausible web of lies, all while Iris is inches away, unable to do anything. This generates quite the nervous energy, before it’s suddenly released. Indeed, Bill is an interesting person, albeit by the low standards of “minor characters in serial killer films”. Richard, too, has some surprises in his back-story. An unexpected phone call upends his carefully prepared plans, requiring a quick disposal of Iris, which leads to the movie’s climax. 

This is where it does topple over in terms of credibility, with more than one, “Wait, what?” moment. Apparently, a dunk in cold water is all it takes to reverse any pharmaceutical effects. Didn’t do much earlier, but I’ll say no more. While it’s always an issue if a film can’t stick the landing, Asbille delivers a good enough portrayal to keep me interested. That’s especially so, given the physical limitations imposed on her by the script; there are points where her eyes are the entire performance. Like most Netflix Originals, this isn’t likely to leave a lasting impression. However, unlike some, it did not leave me feeling my time had been wasted. Producer Sam Raimi, his name larger on the poster than the stars or directors, shouldn’t be embarrassed by this.

Dir: Brian Netto, Adam Schindler
Star: Kelsey Asbille, Finn Wittrock, Moray Treadwell, Daniel Francis

Canary Black

★★★
“Gone, and soon forgotten.”

Both director Morel and star Beckinsale should be familiar names around here. The former directed Peppermint, the latter for the Underworld franchise. Indeed, I was a little surprised this wasn’t directed by Mr. Kate Beckinsale, Len Wiseman. But I guess he was too busy getting booted off Ballerina. Morel, who also directed Taken, is a perfectly adequate stand-in. This is more or less what I expected. A forgettable yet adequately amusing spy caper, with Beckinsale kicking moderate ass in pursuit of… [/checks notes] a computer virus which could potentially wipe out the whole Internet in selected countries. As I write this, two weeks before the US presidential election, nuking the Internet seems like a pretty good idea to me.

She plays Canary Black no, actually, Avery Graves, a globetrotting spy whose husband David (Friend) has no idea of her day job. If that sounds a tad familiar, I refer you to Role Play, which had a similar concept. Then, David gets kidnapped and used as leverage against Avery. She is ordered to liberate the “Canary Black” file of blackmail data, and hand it to David’s abductors, or he will pay the price. Needless to say, her boss Jarvis Hedlund (Stevenson, in one of his last roles) isn’t happy about his best agent going rogue. However, in one of a series of twists – some expected, some not – the file ends up containing the virus discussed above, and Avery must stop it from being released by the bad guys.

This all just about skates by, mostly on the strength of Beckinsale’s charisma. She keeps things watchable, and helps paper over a number of elements that would otherwise have you going, “Hang on a minute…” For instance, when Avery is breaking into a server farm, she flies in on a drone, which for some reason, is lit up like Times Square. The facility also lets you slap in a USB drive without authorization. My entry-level work PC won’t let me do that, and I don’t believe I have access to world-shattering computer viruses, the last time I checked. Naturally, it all ends with Avery rushing towards a computer as the upload progress bar crawls… ever… so… slowly towards a hundred percent. 

Morel handles the action with a professional eye, and considering she’s now in her fifties, Beckinsale isn’t bad. Though watching this the night after The Shadow Strays, the fights here seem like the participants are playing patty-cake in comparison. There’s a nice car chase through the streets of [/checks notes] Zagreb, but most of this is simply reasonably-made and thoroughly generic, and the lack of a memorable villain poses a problem. I couldn’t even tell you the main villain’s name, and his motivation appears to be purely mercenary, which is bad form for a bad guy. While I wasn’t bored, this is destined to be forgotten within a few weeks, and vanish into the black hole which is beyond the front page of Amazon Prime.

Dir: Pierre Morel
Star: Kate Beckinsale, Ray Stevenson, Rupert Friend, Jaz Hutchins

The Shadow Strays

★★★★½
“Dog eat dog”

Director Tjahjanto gave us one of the best action films of the last decade in The Night Comes For Us, a gory and relentless assault of jaw-dropping hand-to-hand mayhem. Follow-up, The Big 4, was a little underwhelming, but I was still stoked to hear about this, in which he puts a heroine front and centre. This is perhaps a step or two short of Night – it’s clear the lead here is not a lifelong practitioner of martial arts like Joe Taslim and Iko Uwais. However, it’s the best film I’ve reviewed on this site in 2024, likely edging out Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, through a combination of sheer force of will and arterial spray.

The Shadows are a sect of assassins, who are basically unstoppable. 13 (Ribero) is a teenage trainee, who screws up a mission in Japan alongside her instructor, Umbra (Malasan), and barely survives. 13 gets put on administrative leave, and her enforced idleness is where the problems start. In a thread strongly reminiscent of Leon, she watches a neighbour get killed by a gang, and takes care of the son, Monji. However, he vanishes, apparently abducted by the gang, and 13 isn’t standing for that. Beginning by turning low-level enforcer, Jeki (Emmanuel), she works her way up the power structure, which goes right to the top of Indonesian political society. The resulting chaos threatens to expose the Shadows, so Umbra is then dispatched to terminate their rogue agent.

This runs a chunky 144 minutes – just a handful shorter than Furiosa – which seems a fair while for a martial-arts film. The Raid 2 and John Wick 4 are the only ones which come to mind as longer. But I can’t say this particularly felt like it; there’s not much slack. We open with the absolutely blood-drenched Japanese operation, which sets the tone early. To be honest, it does such a good job, most of what follows falls slightly short. Ribero is a model and singer, and it feels like Tjahjanto underlights a lot of scenes to help paper over this. But then there’s the final battle, between 13 and Umbra. It’s likely behind only Crouching Tiger as my favorite female vs. female fight ever: utterly relentless, and brutal as hell.

It is a little less impressive in between the fights: originality is, as noted previously, not necessarily the film’s strongest suit. Other threads are set up and them ignored, such as the Shadows’ miraculous serum, which is used by Umbra to resuscitate 13 in Japan, and never mentioned again. Maybe it’ll play more of a part in the sequel, to which the ending strongly hints, bringing in a face familiar to fans of Indonesian action. I’d love to see it, since this is definitely pushing the boundaries of action heroine cinema, in all the right ways. While imperfect, at its best this is enough to make me consider introducing a six-star rating, because it goes places I’ve never seen. When it does, the results are glorious.

Dir: Timo Tjahjanto
Star: Aurora Ribero, Kristo Immanuel, Hana Malasan, Taskya Namya

Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft

★★★
“Croft Original?”

I’m rarely going to find animated action as impressive as “live action”. Something done by an actual human will always seem more real than anything CGI or traditional hand-drawn animation can achieve. That’s true even if the former is arguably as fake, between stunt doubles, green screen and no small amount of CGI itself. Maybe it’s just me. While I have given multiple animated films our Seal of Approval previously, including Mulan, Aeon Flux and Battle Angel, these have been won on the basis of other elements beyond action. A live-action film can get there purely on those merits, despite clear deficiencies elsewhere e.g. In the Line of Duty IV. I don’t think animation can do that.

Hence, I suspect that I would look more kindly on this were it another live adaptation. It wouldn’t have to do much to be an improvement over the Alicia Vikander version, though to be honest, the Angelina Jolie versions were only adequate and borderline bad respectively. Maybe the makers would be better taking a Resident Evil approach, and not worrying about being faithful to the video-games. I did play the original – it remains one of only a few I ever completed – but care not about accuracy. Films and games are different, and need to be. Plot and character matter more on screen, not playability. Here, those elements are alright: they feel functional rather than organically inspired. For instance, it feels less a story than a series of levels.

We begin with a prologue which sees Lara (Atwell) in Chile retrieving a box, alongside her mentor, Conrad Roth. Three years later, Roth is dead and Lara blames herself for that. She’s about to sell off all the family’s treasures, when the Chilean box is stolen by Charles Devereaux (Armitage). Turns out the stone it contains is the first in a series of four, which when combined will destroy the precarious balance under which the world operates. Along with sidekicks Jonah (Baylon) and Zip (Maldonado), Lara criss-crosses the globe, from China to Turkey to France, and back to China, trying to stop Devereaux from completing the set and unleashing the power they contain.

From subsequent reading, I suspect you probably need to have played the specific games on which this is based (I believe it’s the “Survivor timeline”), to understand the significant of the apparent trauma through which the character has gone. None of this is depicted in the film, so I had no clue why I should be bothered by the off-screen death of Conrad, someone I’d only known for about five minutes. Also, Lara seems a bit gay here. Quite why a video-game character should be given specific sexuality escapes me. Shame they didn’t have the courage of their apparent convictions, to do more than hint heavily. To quote Yoda, “Do. Or do not.” Give us hot cartoon babes making out, or don’t bother bringing it up.

Of course, an old white guy is the villain, in comparison to the young, ethnically diverse group in Lara’s camp, and there are a couple of other jabs along those lines. But in general, it’s light enough with the messaging. The eight episodes probably total just under three hours, by the time you trim off the credits, so not all that much more than The Cradle of Life‘s 117-minute running time. You could probably get through it in a single sitting: it’s not difficult viewing. The animation is mid-tier, but does the job, and I liked the performance of Atwell (well-known here for her depiction of Agent Carter), who comes over as a serious, almost solemn, heroine – yet one with whom it’s still easy to empathize. Her supporting cast though, feel superfluous and don’t make much impression.

Within the limitation of animated action discussed above, what you get here isn’t bad. There are some good set pieces, and a couple of occasions where I almost forgot I wasn’t watching actual people, and held my breath. Key word there though, is “almost”. There’s an overall air of competence surrounding the production, and no obvious elements at which I can point a critical finger. Yet there is also not much to cause me to recommend this actively to anyone, who isn’t already a fan of the games. A second series hasn’t been confirmed: there are reports it received a two-season order out of the box, although it doesn’t appear to have received the critical acclaim given to Arcane. But if Lara does return, she probably falls into the “If I’ve nothing else to do” category.

[Jim]


Looking at some of the harsh reviews for the show, I get the impression a lot of it comes from, “I wanted the show to be this but it was that.” It’s a bit unfair because as a show, the series is good, standard adventure animation. Those who expected the show to be somewhat like Arcane: League of Legends, for example, were setting expectations very high. It’s true, that there are “two Laras”. The original by Eidos was invented in 1996, and the “modernized version” came out with the new games of Crystal Dynamics in 2013, and influenced the 2018 reboot movie, with Alicia Vikander. The original Lara could be described as a rich but goodhearted sociopath: watch the Angelina Jolie version, she really got it. Lara was a female Indiana Jones, living in a Bruce Wayne-like mansion, while the modern version seemed inspired by the Lisbeth Salander character from the Millennium Trilogy.

She instead became a guilt-stricken trauma survivor: I remember a trailer for one of the modern games, where she was talking with a psychiatrist and her whole body shook while remembering her previous experiences. The relentless adventurer who just enjoyed the journey seems to be out; the pain-stricken and emotive heroine is in. Still, she does all the action you would expect from her. This Lara just comes with emotional baggage; she has to learn to value her friends and understand that people are more important than the things she hunts. In a way it’s like modern and old James Bond. Once upon a time, he was a superhero we all loved and adored. Today, he has been cut down in size to make the character “more human”. For Lara, it makes her more relatable, for sure – but arguably less interesting. I’m not sure it’s the best way to present the character.

Filmed versions of Lara always seem to have her suffering from the loss of her father. This is the third such, after the Jolie and Vikander live-action versions. It should be noted this was not originally part of her imagined biography, which has changed several times over the years. Originally, she fell out with her family, when she decided to make adventure her lifestyle, earning her living as a travel writer, instead of marrying the Earl her parents had chosen for her. Her big defining moment was surviving alone for two weeks in the Himalayas after a plane accident. It was only after the Jolie films and the reboot games, it became that she had lost both parents.

Here, Hayley Atwell gives our favourite tomb raider a very good voice, and you wonder why film makers seem so resistant to casting a British actress as real-life Lara, with the previous actresses being American and Swedish. After all, Lady Lara Croft is as quintessential British as Sherlock Holmes, James Bond or Emma Peel. [Jim: be careful what you wish for, Dieter. You now have to deal with Sophie Turner as Lara in Amazon Prime’s adaptation!] In Charles Devereaux, this show offers Lara a villain who gives her the old, “You and me are actually very much alike” speech, as heard from Belloq in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun, to emphasize the darker side of a hero. Nothing new here on this front.

A lot of effort goes into giving Lara a circle of friends, something less a factor in the games. But as every Bond has his Felix Leiter, every Indiana his Sallah, it’s only fair Lara also get her sidekicks! Interestingly, Lara’s arc is as an emotional vulnerable character, who finds her way back to humanity, in contrast to the villain who seems to lose his more and more. But the “coolness” of the original character, as seen in the early games and movies, has perhaps been lost in favour of her becoming a team player. It’s indicated that what prevents Lara from falling to her more negative instincts, is that she has friends who care for her, and help cope with her pain and grief. Devereaux is essentially alone, with no reason for him to overcome his anger, pain and wish for revenge. Richard Armitage gives a believable performance there. Yet she is still constantly trying to save her enemy. I suspect that “old Lara” would just have killed him when he attacked her, of that I’m quite sure.

There are a lot of small nods to previous games and films if you pay attention, beyond Lara doing parkour, reflecting her running and jumping around in the games. Things like a mention of the Trinity group, which appears in the Alicia Vikander movie, or her hallucinations of demons with a striking resemblance to the stone gargoyles that came alive in the first Jolie adventure. However, the show delivers only standard adventure, neither great nor bad; like so many things, it’s in the middle, just average. If you can cope with that, the show should entertain – no less, no more, with animation which similarly is fairly standard but satisfying enough. It provides the action and adventure I would expect from this genre. The one real flaw I see, is that it lacks the kind of humour, fun and levity I’d also deem essential elements of the Tomb Raider franchise. Lighten up a bit next time, Lara.

[Dieter]

Showrunner: Tasha Huo
Star (voice): Hayley Atwell, Earl Baylon, Richard Armitage, Allen Maldonado

Birth of a Savage

★★
“Not really very savage at all”

This is one of those films where the same person wrote, directed and starred in it, and once again, the results illustrate the problems with such an endeavour. Almost any project will benefit from an external perspective which can offer constructive criticism, but when this is removed, the flaws typically end up multiplied. That said, this isn’t terrible. I think Riches the screenwriter comes out best, with a story which bypasses the usual cliches of urban storylines e.g. gangster rising out of the gutter, and does offer some genuine surprises. Director Riches also gets some points for restraint on the soundtrack front; it’s not comprised entirely of her mates rapping badly. 

It’s as an actress that Riches is weakest. The story has her playing Tiana, a woman whose entirely life has been dogged by poor relationships with men, from a distant father through bad boyfriends, to a controlling and eventually abusive husband, who kicks her and young daughter Erica (Session) out on the street. The only thing keeping Tiana sane is the classes she gives at the local martial arts school, owned by Mr. Lewis (Hoo), and she decided to use these skills to make bad men pay for their behaviour. This comes close to home, because she suspects that her sister, Rochelle (Amor), is also in an abusive relationship. These suspicions prove well-founded, though in one of those genuine surprises, not quite as Tiana believes.

The problem is that Tiana is never even slightly convincing as a bad-ass. Her idea of martial-arts training is, I kid you not, jumping jacks, and most of the fights we see are poorly-staged and/or brief, I suspect out of necessity. It’s the kind of film which needs to go a lot harder than the lead actress is capable of. “Concerned mother” is within her acting range; “angel of vengeance” is not. I did appreciate how the script does not attempt to go #AllMen on us, with a couple of sympathetic male characters. Mr. Lewis is probably the most well-developed, though he does fall right into the wheel-house of the “wise Oriental spouting philosophical insights” trope instead. But he does deliver some unexpected truths.

The structure is either clunky or interesting, and I’m not sure which. It begins with her abducting one of her targets, then leaps back decades to tell Tiana’s story from the very beginning. I’m not certain anything useful is gained by this, and by the time it circles back, we’ve largely forgotten why we are supposed to care. The final act is the best in most departments, including Riches apparently doing one actual stunt which genuinely surprised me, and proceedings that capture a down-to-earth tone, missing in dumb plot threads like Mr. Lewis giving the dojo to Tiana. To be brutally honest, I’d not blame the viewer if they’d bailed by that point, having decided Riches needs to focus her talents on one area.

Dir: Jezar Riches
Star: Jezar Riches, Howard Hoo, Cheri Amor, Dalaini Session

 

Duchess

★★
“Largely ignoble.”

Marshall has been involved in our genre back to 1998, when he wrote Killing Time. Since then, there have been some classics (The Descent), but the trend has been gently downhill. Of late, he seems to be doing a lot of work with wife Charlotte Kirk (a mere 22 years his younger). The last here was The Lair, which Kirk co-wrote with her husband and starred in. The same is true for this, just to slightly lesser effect, and with even more derivative results. This feels in particular like an early Guy Ritchie film, with larger than life underworld figures, hyper violence and snappy dialogue. Well, those are the goals, anyway. Execution is a different thing, to varying degrees.

The heroine is Scarlett Monaghan (Kirk), rescued from her low-rent pickpocket career by international man of mystery, Robert McNaughton (Winchester), and whisked off to a life of luxury in the Canary Islands. Turns out her new boyfriend is a diamond trafficker, and that’s a very risky business to be in, given the huge profits to be made. While he has a loyal cadre of associates, such as Danny Oswald (Pertwee), not everyone in his circle is trustworthy. After an associate tries to rape Scarlett, and is killed by her, the violence and treachery escalate to the point where she and Robert are left for dead. She isn’t prepared to let it lie, and comes back from the grave to take revenge on those responsible.

Bits of this work reasonably well, with Kirk making a good impression. [Also: you’ll understand why the director married her… I now move rapidly on!] Monaghan is a character with a rough-hewn charm, and a fierce loyalty to those for whom she cares, be that friends, family (with the exception of her father, played by Colm Meaney) or Robert. The big problem here is pacing. The movie is almost two hours long, and barely the last twenty minutes are involved in the interesting stuff: Scarlett’s vengeance. Even when this shows up, it’s hardly The Bride taking on the Crazy 88’s. Indeed, you could argue the most fun action is the opening scene of the movie, which then rolls into a flashback of how we got to that point.

Some of the violence is striking. Scarlett goes to extremes to extract information, and veteran actress Stephanie Beacham, playing Robert’s business partner, goes full Colombian necktie on a minion who tries to steal from her. This does feel at odds with the overall tone. It’s quite light in its atmosphere, populated by larger than life characters – Beacham’s sweary boss is the most obvious example – rather than aiming for gritty realism. This did a barely passable job of holding my attention. It probably should have joined proceedings considerably later, with all Scarlett’s London life largely irrelevant. Did appreciate the Peckham mentions though, having caught the train to work daily from there, back in the nineties. That I was more excited by this than 95% of the film, is likely a warning. 

Dir: Neil Marshall
Star: Charlotte Kirk, Philip Winchester, Sean Pertwee, Colin Egglesfield