★½
“The Tomb was already booked, presumably”
To be fair, for most of the time, this was likely hovering around the two-star range. Not brilliant: it was rather obvious why this had taken six years from being shot, to receiving distribution. But there was some heart evident, and I look kindly on projects which appear to be trying. Unfortunately, we then reached the end, which was clearly intended to work as some kind of stone-cold cliffhanger. Regular readers will know my aversion to these in books. It’s far worse in a movie, especially where you know – given the time elapsed – there’s precious little chance of a sequel to provide any resolution. I’m sure the entire cast has moved on to other things since.
It’s the story of the Sierra sisters, Hera (Swenson) and Athena (Lee), who are part of a secret group called The Society. They have been feuding across the centuries against another secret group called The Order. Hera and Athena are now on the hunt for the lost treasure of the pirate Blackbeard, reported to be buried somewhere near the coast of Virginia. The sister think they have a good handle on it, and along with their local guides, head into the swampy territory in search of the buccaneer gold, guided by Hera’s psychic visions, which pop up conveniently, as needed by the plot. Naturally, The Order are also keen to get their hands on it, and not everyone in the Sierra’s party might be entirely trustworthy.
It begins with an unconvincing depiction of Blackbeard’s death and a somewhat rousing battle for a relic called the Eye of Quetzalcoatl. But once we get past that, the bulk of the movie consists of an awful lot of wandering around marshland here, in lieu of… well, anything much. For example, it might have been nice to have learned about the goals of both The Society and The Order, and why they have been pitted against each other for so long. Nah. Let’s instead just have another of Hera’s obscurist visions where figures, whose relevance remains uncertain, make cryptic statements like, “Remember, as I have risen, things can be buried – can be unburied. Your past journeys will reveal the clue to salvation.” Look, can’t you just email her a Powerpoint presentation?
It doesn’t help that, for a centuries old secret organization, the representatives of The Order are… well, a bit crap. There’s only about four of them to start, and let’s just say, rigorous competence doesn’t appear to be a requirement for selection. Mind you, when they do show an evil streak, shooting people dead in cold blood, Hera and Athena are so blase about it, that the moment is robbed of almost all power. Not that there’s a huge amount of power to begin with, even before we get to one of the most “Wait. Is that it?” endings in recent memory. Well played marketing department though, for the poster and changing the title from the original one of Sierra Sisters: The Hunt for Blackbeard’s Treasure.
Dir: Josh Relic
Star: Kathleen Swenson, Celeste Lee, James Blackburn, Sam Barber


This is certainly a little different from the usual Western. It takes place a few years after the conclusion of the Civil War. Mo Washington (Wright) is on her way to Colorado to take up a piece of land she bought with her hard-earned savings. To avoid trouble on the journey, she is dressed as a man, though being black is problematic enough at that time. The stagecoach in which she’s travelling – or rather,
This is written by a husband and wife duo, which is a nice idea. I wonder how Chris would react if I suggested writing a novel to her? Unfortunately, the results are a little disappointing. It feels like the execution is better than the idea – usually it’s the other way around. For example, this is a post-apocalyptic scenario, except the book never details in more than the vaguest terms, what happened. It’s disposed of in about one page: a war, involving both bio- and nuclear weapons. Some humans went underground; those who didn’t, became “grotesquely distorted” mutants and calling themselves Urthmen. We’re now 200 years later, and they are still seeking to wipe out the dwindling number of “real” humans who abandoned their bunkers for some reasons. Those include Avery, in her late teens, and her sister, eight-year-old June, orphaned by the death of both parents: Mom killed by Urthmen, Dad… just kinda died, I guess.
I’m very cautiously giving this one our middest of mid-tier ratings, which I reserve the right to change in future. Because this one showed up on one of the… “less official”, let’s say Chinese movie channels on YouTube. While the likes of Youku and iQiyi make the effort to deliver subtitles which are typically at least intelligible, I’d say the subs here reached such a level, only about one line in five. Then I still had to figure out cultural context for this period piece, which also seemed to reference local folklore. I guess I should be grateful the soundtrack here was intact. The previous night, I’d watched another film on the same channel which, I kid you not, had random bursts of musak injected, presumably to avoid YouTube’s automated copyright system.
Director Campbell recently appeared here with the entertaining
Made by Toei, this is very much a straightforward “pinky violence” film in concept, telling the story of the Wildcats and, in particular, their leader Maki Hyuga. What separates this – in ways both good and bad – from the pack is that Maki is played by Sue Shiomi, best known for her roles in the
This was originally titled after its heroine, but since that obviously wouldn’t work in the West, it was changed to become about as generic a title as you could get. Behind this is a decent little flick, which is also worthy of note, because it may be the first Shaw Brothers action film to be directed by a woman. Pao-Shu Kao had been an actress with the studio since 1958, but this ended up being her sole movie as director for Shaw, as she started her own company, Park Films, with her husband. But this, her debut, is the highest-rated on the IMDb of the eleven features she helmed, at a respectable 6.8.
I added an extra half-star here out of how much I was entertained by this. Although this was more a result of us yelling things at the screen than any intrinsic merits. The idea is kinda cool, but if you can’t think of ways this should have been improved you are simply not trying. Anya Voight (Dorn) is known as ‘Snow White’, because her father, Joseph (Eric Roberts), is a coke dealer. He’s killed by a mysterious assassin, and when his will is read, her jealous stepmom, Quinn (Vitori), is highly annoyed to discover Anya will be the one inheriting the business, and has plans to go legitimate.
I like to think I am not an idiot. I can assemble words into a coherent order, perform fairly complex mental arithmetic with reasonable accuracy, and recently connected a printer to my wife’s computer on the first attempt. So, when I tell you I did not understand this film… I really did not understand this film. I’ve seen movies before, where I may be unclear on some points. But I could still provide a reasonably detailed synopsis. Here? I am utterly at sea, beyond the most basic level, to the point I’m wondering how the heck I will be able to reach my standard five hundred words. How many can I spend describing my bemusement?
Going off the Wikipedia article about Rose Dugdale, I can’t help feeling this could have been more epic than it was. I mean, a former debutante who, “As an IRA member, took part in the theft of paintings worth IR£8 million, a bomb attack on a Royal Ulster Constabulary station using a hijacked helicopter, and developed a rocket launcher” which used – I kid you not – packets of biscuits to absorb the recoil. There’s so much there, it feels a shame the movie focuses almost entirely on the art theft. This was carried out in 1974, raiding a stately home in rural Ireland (fun fact: the house was used as a location in