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Kate Bush, Action Heroine

By Jim McLennan August 26, 2014 January 7, 2022 Feature

katebush4 It remains a matter of some small pride that the first album (kids, ask your parents!) I ever bought, was Kate Bush’s The Kick Inside. Unlike some artists from my days as a callow youth, she has stood the test of time very, very well, and over three decades later, despite many wannabes over time (coughToriAmoscough), there has still been no-one like her. I’ve been on a bit of a Kate Bush revival of late, inspired by her current return to live performance in London, after a gap of 35 years. Reviewing her work, both aural but particularly, the visual, I get the sense she had some action heroine tendencies of her own.

James and the Cold Gun

“It’s hot and sandy, the land is old and dry. Here rides a man with a sheet of ice by his side.” Those lines were penned by Bush to accompany the sheet music for the song from her debut LP. I always presumed that it was inspired by James Bond, but that doesn’t seem to have been the case, Kate saying in an interview when asked if it referred to anyone in particular, “The answer is: nobody. When I wrote the song, James was the right name for it.” Her record company wanted this to be her first single, but Bush held out for Wuthering Heights. Good call, I suspect: this is a great deal more conventional, but lacks the drop-dead, “what the f—?” impact of Heights.

Still, Gun got its moment in the sun. An extended version of the song, over eight minutes long, became the show-stopper for the third and final act of her first, and until this week, only live tour in 1979, demonstrating the mix of music, ballet, mime and theatre in which she has been interested since the very beginning. Reviewing the show, The Guardian wrote “The erotically charged denouement of James and the Cold Gun depicted her as a murderous gunslinger, spraying gunfire – actually ribbons of red satin – over the stage.” Ok, I’m sold. Here’s the sequence in question, taken from the live VHS, so apologies for the mediocre quality – why it has never been re-released on DVD escapes me. Now would seem the perfect time…

Babooshka

Her third album, Never For Ever, gave us one of the most iconic images of her career, as part of the video for Babooshka, a song about a woman who adopts a second identity to test her husband’s fidelity – only for it to be found wanting. In it, Kate adopts two personae, the staid wife, clad entirely in black, and with a veil, and the alter ego, who is dressed in a way much more befitting the heroine of a sword-and-sorcery novel. Which is not surprising, because the style was inspired by drawing from renowned illustrator Chris Achilleos. It wasn’t his first brush with the music industry, as the previous year, he gave the world the controversial cover for the Whitesnake LP Lovehunter, with a naked woman straddling a giant snake

This work was positively subtle in comparison, originally for the first book in the Raven, Swordmistress of Chaos series by “Richard Kirk” – actually a pseudonym for two writers, and not the noted industrial musician. Bush’s take, along with designer Pamela Keat, was somewhat more modest, as you can see in the side-by-side below. But I was fourteen when the song came out, and can still remember watching the video for the first time. My picture can be found in the dictionary to this day, beside the word “gobsmacked.” :)

The Wedding List

Kate was always extraordinarily well-versed in culture, right from Wuthering Heights: how many 18-year-olds can pepper a song with a sly reference to Armenian philsopher George Gurdjieff? But bonus points have to be awarded for her being inspired by a French girls with guns film even I haven’t seen, Francois Truffaut’s The Bride Wore Black. One of Truffaut’s contemporaries, Jean-Luc Godard is often credited with saying “All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun” (he was actually quoting D.W. Grifiths), and Truffaut’s film is a fine example. It stars Jeanne Moreau as a widow, who hunts down and kills the men responsible for the death of her husband on their wedding day.

katebush

It seems a clear influence on Kill Bill, even down to the “Bride” crossing of her victims’ names in a notebook. Quentin Tarantino denies having seen it, but then he professed unfamiliarity with City on Fire too. But the best part of a quarter-century earlier, Kate Bush took inspiration from Truffaut for another song on Never For Ever, about a wronged woman who seeks vengeance on her spouse’s murderer – in a particularly Bushian (Bushesque?) twist for additional tragedy points, the widow commits suicide, and is then found to be pregnant. Here’s a sample of the lyrics.

Now, as I’m coming for you, all I see is Rudi.
I die with him, again and again, and I’ll feel good in my revenge.
I’m gonna fill your head with lead and I’m coming for you!
And when it’s all over you’ll roll over the butt of my gun:
One in your belly, and one for Rudi.
You got what you gave by the heel of my bootie.
Bang-bang–Out! like an old cherootie,
And I’m coming for you…

Damn. Kate and the Cold Gun, indeed. While this was never released as a single, it was one of the songs which formed part of her 1979 Christmas special for the BBC, from which the image above is taken, and which is available, with a little searching online. There’s almost an old West feeling to the version here, along the lines of Hannie Caulder – amusingly, the target for her vengeance is played by Kate’s brother, Paddy. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and track down a copy of The Bride Wore Black. For now, here’s the trailer.

Running up That Hill

But before I got, mostly as an aside. Kate’s fifth release, Hounds of Love, is considered by many fans to be her best, and certainly, contains some of her most memorable songs. Running would be one of them, and remains to this day, her most successful song in the United States. The theme here is, how many relationship issues would be solved, if the people involved could just swap places and see things from the other person’s perspective. Not quite sure how the archery motif seen on the sleeve fits into that, but I note that the gesture of drawing a bow is also seen multiple times in the video for the song. It may be another reference to The Bride Wore Black, as the heroine does wield a bow during her quest for revenge.

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair, on its 10th anniversary

By Jim McLennan April 16, 2014 November 15, 2019 Feature, Review

★★★★½
“It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.”

Today marks the 10th anniversary for the release in the United States of Kill Bill, Volume 2, completing the saga of The Bride and her quest for vengeance over the man who stole her daugher, killed her husband at the altar and left her in a coma. In honour of this date, we watched the assembled compilation known as Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair. While this has never officially been released – despite regular claims by Quentin Tarantino that he was about to start work on it – the New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles was allowed to show it in March and April 2011, its second public screening since the Cannes Film Festival of 2004 (there was one at the Alamo Drafthouse).

This helped lead to bootleg editions circulating through the usual sources online, where fans edited the previously-released versions together, to simulate Tarantino’s vision as closely as possible. Of course, these aren’t perfect, if QT’s claims of an extended anime sequence are to be believed. But I’m not inclined to wait around any longer – it’s entirely his own fault I still have not bought a copy of either film, even though they are certainly iconic in our genre. So, how does the combined version play? And a decade after the saga came to its bloody conclusion, does the story still hold up? [Note. This will be less a standard review than a series of feelings. If you want a review, I refer you to the ones written at the time for Volume 1 and Volume 2. I suppose I should also insert a spoiler warning for the rest of this piece. Though if anyone reading this hasn’t seen both films already, you pretty much deserve to be spoilered!]

In terms of content, there isn’t much alteration, with the only real change, a small but significant cut at the end of Volume 1. What’s removed, is Bill’s line, “Is she aware her daughter is still alive?” This means neither audience nor heroine know this, until she shows up at Bill’s house for the final confrontation. [I have to say, her daughter certainly doesn’t seem like a four-year old either.] Rather than substance, the biggest difference for me was stylistic: the overall balance seemed more even, as a single entity, than seen as two separate pieces months apart. Volume 2 seemed excessively talky on its own. While that’s still the case, it’s to a significantly lesser degree, being balanced directly by the first half, where The Bride engages in actions, not words. Indeed, the only person she kills in the second part is Bill, a sharp contrast to the pile of corpses left in her wake during its predecessor. His death still feels somewhat rushed, and it’s a shame the original ending – a swordfight between Bill and Beatrix, clad in her wedding dress, on the beach – couldn’t be filmed, because the production went over time.

My viewing of the film now is also altered, by having seen over the intervening decade, more of the movies which had influenced Quentin, in particular Lady Snowblood and Thriller: A Cruel Picture. I’ve not been a particular fan of this aspect of Tarantino’s work, since the whole City on Fire/Reservoir Dogs thing; I find it gets in the way of enjoying his films, if you’re frequently being reminded of other movies. This kind of homage still works better when it’s slid in more subtly, for example Vernita Green’s pseudonym for her new life being Jeanne Bell, likely a reference to the actress who was the star of the 70’s blaxploitation pic, T.N.T. Jackson. [And, of course, Green’s daughter is called Nikita…] I have to say, QT’s foot fetish seems a lot more blatant now than it did at the time. The most obvious case is when The Bride is trying to regain control of her toes in the back of the Pussy Wagon, but Sofie Fatale’s feet also come in for some attention. Again, perhaps subsequent knowledge plays into the viewing experience.

10 Favourite Lines from The Whole Bloody Affair

Vernita Green: Black Mamba. I shoulda been motherfuckin’ Black Mamba.
O-Ren Ishii: The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is… I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time!
The Bride: Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.
The Bride: This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas! Go home to your mother!
The Bride: I want them all to know they’ll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.
Budd: That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Pai Mei: What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?
Elle Driver: I killed your master. And now I’m gonna kill you too, with your own sword, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become my sword.
The Bride: Before that strip turned blue, I would have jumped a motorcycle onto a speeding train… for you. But once that strip turned blue, I could no longer do any of those things. Not anymore. Because I was going to be a mother.
Bill: You’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt.

What hasn’t changed is the sheer, unadulterated awesomeness of the fights, as jaw-droppingly brutal and intense as they were ten years ago. Yuen Wo-Ping certainly cements his position as the most inventive and effective martial arts choreographer in history. Though this version has the entire House of Blue Leaves fight in colour, the arterial spray becomes so obviously excessive, as to reduce its overall impact. Much love must also now go to someone barely known at the time, now carving out her own niche: stuntwoman and Thurman double: Zoë Bell. Bonus fun is now had, watching the battles and going, “Zoë… Zoë… Uma… Zoë… Uma… Zoë.” [That’s probably fairly close to the correct ratio!] The anime sequence depicting O-Ren Ishii’s early years is still fabulous and lush, revenge foreshadowing The Bride’s. You can see why, in 2006, Tarantino floated the idea of further films in a similar style, telling of Bill’s and Beatrix’s origins. Although, like all the other Kill Bill sequels he has floated over the years, Quentin’s mouth appears to be moving much faster than any actual production.

The combined version does probably run about 30 minutes too long, with Volume 2 in particular need of tightening up. It doesn’t so much reach a climax, as approach it as a limit. Bill’s burbling on about comic-book superheroes is one of those cases where Tarantino’s voice becomes louder than that of his characters (see the first half of Death Proof for a long, drawn-out example of this, perhaps the most self-indulgent dialogue in a filmography largely driven by self-indulgent dialogue). I also remain somewhat skeptical in regard to the deliberate misorder of Beatrix’s revenge. O-Ren Ishii is the first actually killed, according to The Bride’s list, yet we begin with her encountering Vernita Green. While that made some sense when the film was in two volumes, providing a spectacular encounter to end the first half, that’s less the case here. I’ve never found a satisfactory explanation for quite why Green wasn’t simply #1 on the list. But I guess, messing up the timeline is just what Tarantino does.

However, let’s cut to the chase – with the elegance of a pissed-off bride wielding a Hattori Hanzo sword. This remains one of the finest examples of action heroine cinema to come out of mainstream Hollywood, and arguably, hasn’t been matched in the ten years since. And it’s not purely for The Bride: O-Ren, Vernita, Elle and GoGo all deserve acknowledgement as memorable characters, any of whom could stand on their own. Even as someone who can generally take or leave most of Tarantino’s directorial work – I think he’s a better screenwriter – I can’t deny what he crafted here is an undeniable, four-hour classic of the genre.

“The lioness has rejoined her cub, and all is right in the jungle.”

Gallery: Volume 1

Gallery: Volume 2

The Women of Game of Thrones

By Jim McLennan March 31, 2014 March 31, 2014 Feature

“All men must die. But we are not men…” — Daenerys Targaryen

We don’t have HBO, so were late getting into Game of Thrones, only starting to watch it after I accidentally stumbled across a copy [let’s just say, it had Chinese subtitles…]. Being tardy has its benefits: we could binge watch our way through multiple episodes, and I’m wondering how we’ll cope having to join the masses for Season 4, rationed to one episode per week. And it appears we were not alone: it’s one of the rare cases were a show has grown much more popular over time. The first ever episode was watched by only 2.22 million people on HBO. The second season opened 74% higher, at 3.86 million, and by the time the third series ended, viewing figures all the way up at 5.39 million. This mirrors the pattern of the books by George R.R. Martin on which the series is based: the first wasn’t a hit at all on its publication in 1991. But by the end of July 2011, he had five books in the New York Times top 20 bestsellers for fiction.

It’s utterly addictive, and populated with any number of great characters; indeed, some kind of scorecard would probably help in the early going, to keep track of who is marrying, supporting, invading or killing whom. Perhaps the outstanding aspect for me is the way characters are nuanced, something especially noteworthy for the villainous. Even as they are committing heinous acts, you usually understand the reasons why they’re doing them. If you may not agree with the purpose to which they are aimed, you can see the justification. Well, except for boy-king Joffrey. He’s just a little shit, who has somehow managed to avoid the claws of the grim reaper. And speaking of which, another defining factor of the series is: anyone can die, at any time. No matter how beloved, Mr. Martin does not care. You can traumatize any GoT fan by sidling up to them and whispering two words in their ear: “Red Wedding.” I’ll say no more than that.

“The more people you love, the weaker you are.” — Cersei Lannister

04CerseiLannister It certainly is a show ‘for mature viewers,’ containing its fair share of violence and sex, which has naturally led to the usual accusations of the usual misogyny from the usual sources. I don’t think the reality is anywhere near as simple as this, not least because the creators are pretty much equal opportunity when it comes to character abuse. Sure, sexual assault is skewed towards the women; decapitation, on the other hand, is pretty much a male preserve. No-one gets out unscathed: man, woman, child or wolf. There’s also an obvious difference between depiction and endorsement. And it’d be kinda ludicrous to have a medieval-styled fantasy world, operating as some kind of anarcho-syndicalist commune, where people take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting. Boring as shit, too.

Indeed, perhaps the oppressive world is a seed for the admirable number of strong female characters, which likely surpasses just about any other show on television these days. If you’re a man, you can be remarkably stupid and still do well in the GoT world, as long as you are fairly good at hitting people: Exhibit A, Jon Snow. As a woman, if you’re dumb, you learn quickly, or you don’t survive. If you’re weak, you don’t survive. Since you generally don’t have the option of direct physical force, other means must be found to bend others to do your will. This need not be malicious: Catelyn, matriarch of the Stark family, used family ties and other appeals to loyalty to amass her army. Others are less high-minded; to quote Cersei Lannister, “Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs.” And make no mistake, some of the ladies in GoT are perfectly willing to use it, as part of their arsenal of tools.

But only some, for the variety of characters on offer here is another delight, from whores to high priestesses, queens to barbarians (even barbarian queens!), five foot short to six foot three tall, ages nine to eighty and everywhere in between. As the fourth season starts up on Sunday, here are our ten favorites ladies in the Game of Thrones universe to date – in increasing order of action heroineiness. Note: I’ll try and avoid major spoilers – for example, which if any of these are no longer alive! – but where these are necessary to illuminate a character, I’m not going to shy away from them.

“Some day I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.” — Arya Stark

10. Shae

In terms of social climbing, few can surpass Shae’s ascent. She started off as a prostitute following the Lannister army, but caught the eye of Tyrion Lannister (our most beloved character thanks to Peter Dinklage’s portrayal, the self-proclaimed “god of tits and wine”) and became his exclusively – she even convinced Tyrion to defy his father and bring her to the capital. There, she now serves as a handmaiden and confidant to Sansa Stark, the one-time potential queen of the realm. Yep, Shae has come a long way.

9. Olenna Tyrell

While certainly “veteran presence,” we mentioned above that you don’t survive in this world without being smart and tough. So her lengthy tenure at the heart of court politics testifies to both, as does her nickname, the ‘Queen of Thorns.’ In many way, she’s the real head of House Tyrell, despite marrying into it, rather than through her birth. Besides, we couldn’t omit any character played by Diana Rigg, who was not just the only Mrs. James Bond (in O.H.M.S.S.), but one of the all-time GWG icons, Emma Peel.

8. Melisandre

If there’s one thing more disturbing than your average religious zealot, it’s a religious zealot, with supernatural powers, who burns people alive. That would be Melisandre, a Red Priestess of the Lord of Light, a religion that has found devotees in House Baratheon, and who has an absolute conviction in her faith, to go along with her abilities of prophecy. You get the sense there’s a lot more to her than has been seen to date, but anyone capable of giving birth to shadows that kill on command, is clearly someone to be treated with respect.

“Death by fire is the purest death” — Melisandre

7. Ygritte

A free woman from north of the massive wall which protects the bulk of Westeros from… things, shall we say. Life up there is even more brutal, and her survival skills have helped both her and Jon Stark, with whom she has a relationship best described as “complex.” Like others from her society, she possesses a fierce independence, and her loyalty is not easily won. She has an instinctive grasp of the best way to achieve her ends, and will ruthlessly exploit any weakness. If that fails – well, there’s always her trusty bow.

6. Catelyn Stark

At first, she was a dutiful and supportive wife to husband Eddard, but Lady Stark was thrust to the front following his appointment as the King’s Hand, which eventually led to his execution after the death of the current king. As the country collapses into civil war, she strives to be reunited with her children, rallies forces against those responsible for Eddard’s death, and acts as an adviser to her son Robb, who is heading the army they have raised. Balancing these various ends is a perilous task, to say the least.

5. Yara Greyjoy

After a previous rebellion was suppressed, the Greyjoy scion, Theon, was sent off as a hostage to live with the winners, to ensure his family’s future compliance,. This forced his sister, Yara, to step into the breach and become a son by proxy, commanding her own longship and leading her men as they pillage nearby territories. To quote her father: “She’s commanded men. She’s killed men. And she knows who she is.” That’s more than Theon does, completely failing to recognize the hard-ass she has become, when he returns, after almost a decade away.

4. Cersei Lannister

Cersei is played by another solid action heroine, Lena Headey having been Queen Gorgo in 300, as well as the title role in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Her character is responsible for the show’s title, saying, “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.” And Cersei Lannister has no intention of dying, being a grand mistress at the arts of scheming, manipulation and intrigue towards her goals. Her son Joffrey is technically on the throne of Westeros, but there’s little doubt who is wielding the actual power there.

“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.” — Cersei Lannister

3. Arya Stark

We’re in the top tier now, and despite Arya’s youth, she undeniably deserves her position up here. Virtually the first time we see her, she’s spurning her embroidery lesson to out-shoot her brothers, and that sets the tone for her character. Per Wikipedia, “She rejects the notion that she must become a lady and marry for influence and power, showing no interest in the womanly arts of dancing, singing, and sewing; instead she revels in fighting and exploring.” Her father, Eddard, eventually admits defeat in this area, and hires a swordmaster to give her lessons in “sticking ’em with the pointy end,” an art in which Arya proves adept.

She goes with Eddard when he travels to take up his position as the King’s Hand, but when that goes pear-shaped, she’s thrown back entirely on to her own resources, with her sword, ‘Needle’. Disguising herself as a boy to avoid some of the dangers of life alone, she starts back to her family’s castle in the North. That plan is derailed and she ends up embedded deep in the enemy’s camp, acting as cupbearer to Tywin, the head of House Lannister, before escaping. At the end of the third season, Arya killed her first man, stabbing him repeatedly in the back of his neck. It’s not going to be her last, that’s for sure.

2. Brienne of Tarth

The only child of her lord father, Brienne is bigger and stronger than most men [Gwendoline Christie, who plays her, is 6’3″ in real life, so no need for orange boxes or forced perspective there!], and we first see her winning a tournament against male opponents. This gains her entry in to the Kingsguard of Renly Baratheon, but after his assassination, she is blamed for Renly’s death and has to flee the camp, vowing to take revenge on the real instigator – who would be #8, Melisandre. Brienne swears loyalty to Catelyn Stark, and is given the mission of taking captive Jamie Lannister back to King’s Landing, where he can be exchanged for Catelyn’s daughters. That journey forces both Brienne and Jamie to face uncomfortable truths, and they develop a mutual respect.

Characters in the show are very much shaded in grey, but Brienne is perhaps the closest to being purely good, holding to a chivalric ideal of knighthood, likely more rooted in fantasy than the harsh realities of life. She has managed to hold on to her idealism, despite never being accepted by her fellow knights, or society in general: her position as a warrior woman renders her a perpetual outsider to both groups. In one of the books, she says she was “the only child the gods let [my father] keep. The freakish one, one not fit to be son or daughter.” A great character, beloved beyond the screen time she has received, and I’d love to see a spinoff series, focusing on Brienne.

1. Daenerys Targaryen

The Targaryen clan used to be the rulers of Westeros, but her father was overthrown, leaving Daenerys and her brother Viserys surviving out on the edge of civilization. Viserys still plots to regain the throne, and to this end, arranges a marriage of his sister to a barbarian warlord, Khal Drogo, hoping to use Drogo’s army. Drogo dies after a wound sustained in battle becomes infected, and most of his tribe abandon their queen. However, at this low point, Daenerys discovers her destiny, walking into her husband’s funeral pyre, only to emerge unscathed. Indeed, she succeeds in hatching three supposedly inert dragon eggs given to her as a wedding present, resurrecting a species much feared in their time, yet considered extinct for centuries. The ‘Mother of Dragons’ is on her way back up…

Having not read the books when I watched the series, my initial reaction was that Viserys would be the focus, and Daenerys little more than eye-candy, a bribe used to give her sibling leverage, who’d rapidly be sidelined. Boy, was I wrong. From a chattel, she has steadily ascended the ladder of power, first winning her husband, then his clan, and building upon that, with some help from her little fire-breathers, to become a potential force to be reckoned with. While she is still sidelined – Daenerys hasn’t even set foot on Westeros through three seasons – it’s only a matter of time before she returns at the head of an army, fanatically devoted to her. How do you like your soldiers cooked? Medium-well?

She hasn’t forgotten where she came from either, and has a zero-tolerance policy for those who oppress others. Daenerys has gone from, “I don’t want to be his Queen. I want to go home,” to “Slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child. Strike the chains off every slave you see!” That’s what I call a character arc. But I do have to wonder what the future holds for her, because we should remember, her father was nick-named “The Mad King” by his subjects in Westeros, for good reason, and Viserys wasn’t exactly stable or sane. Let’s hope the insanity skips a generation: it’d waste one of the strongest and most memorable female characters on TV this decade

“We will lay waste to armies, and burn cities to the ground.” — Daenerys Targaryen

Behind The Women of Armageddon

By Jim McLennan March 1, 2014 March 2, 2014 Feature

The Woman of Armageddon is a sci-fi/action crossbreed, taking elements from both action heroine and post-apocalypse genres. Initially created as the basis for a 2012 calendar, now in its third year, the idea has expanded, under the loving care of its creator, Michael Zinn. Zinn took time off from arranging Doomsday, to speak to GWG.org about the end of the world, as he knows it.

For those who don’t know, high concept Women of Armageddon for us.

Women of Armageddon is a (beautiful) vision of an alternate future. “What if the world ended, and only beautiful women were left?”

What’s your background and artistic influences?

Well, I am a computer geek at heart, but when I was in college, everything was lumped into “computer science ” and there was no such thing as Photoshop. I changed my direction, and ended up at the Hartford Art School as a photography major. By the time I left, computers had started doing graphics and I was able to combine my passions.. As far as influences, well, some artists that definitely inspired me are Boris Valejo – as a matter of fact it was his fantasy artwork calendars that directly inspired the look and colors of 2013. I’m also a big H.R. Giger fan. Another big influence is scifi movie posters as wel as “sexploitation” movie posters like Barbarella; two movies that had a specific influence on this project are Planet of the Apes and Mad Max

Where did the idea come from?

Imagine Mad Max meets the Sports Illustrated Swimwear Calendar. The idea originated in 2011, with the prophecies of impending doom in 2012 and the hype of the world ending… possibly on Dec 21, 2012. It was a spoof in my head. A mash up of the Mad Max costumes and women who had the time apparently, to do their makeup and retain their femininity… But it soon evolved to represent women more as a symbol of strength and survival.

Was there a particular type of Armageddon in mind?

Actually, yes and no… The original calendar had a few concepts tossed around. One was that each month would represent a different Armageddon: zombies, aliens, biochemical warfare, natural disaster, nuclear war, etcetera. Another concept was going to be Armageddon around the world, using Landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Empire State building, Wall of China, Golden Gate Bridge. So there’s the “no”. The “yes”, is that in the photographic novel I am developing, there is a specific Armageddon – but that’s not to be disclosed at this time!

How did you go about putting the first calendar together in 2012, getting the models and the weapons?

It was Thanksgiving 2011, and I was visiting family in AZ. The idea had been in my head all year and I finally shared it with my girlfriend at the time, Janine Maloney, who is a fabulously talented makeup artist. She was very encouraging and brainstormed the idea with me, and involved the first models , whom she had worked with on makeup at the local Haunted Houses that usually crop up during Halloween season. They were all very inspired by the concept and eager to get involved, which really helped bring the calendar to life.

In addition to Janine’s “theater” friends, I come from the local music scene, and was able to involve some of my local female musician friends, which helped add some audience to the calendar. We were very fortunate that they were all available and in about three weekends we scrambled to costume and shoot 12 girls! As a matter of fact, a few of the models had boyfriends who built props and sets, and they showed up with some awesome weaponry that appears in the first calendar. It went amazingly smooth for the first time around. I did all the graphic design and layout over a week, and we were able to have the calendar available to order right around Christmas-time!

How was the reaction?

People seemed to really get it for the most part. It also seemed to be inspiring to women. I think people like the fact that these are regular girls and they look great, tough yet battered, Hard, yet soft. Our own reaction – which was interesting – was that this concept needed to expand. We originally were thinking about making a comic book, and in looking for an illustrator, we realized that we had already created a style we could use to express this as a “photo-graphic novel”, a twist on the popular adult version of comic books called “Graphic Novels”

Where did things go from there?

While we were writing the story, the opportunity to appear at ComicCon in NY came up. We didn’t have time to produce the PhotoGraphic Novel we wanted, so we decided to do another Calendar )2013. 2013 was even better than 2012 and we also did a deck of playing cards. The second calendar was amazing! We were definitely better prepared and even more energized – it was also more photography based than post-processed.

What have been the biggest lessons you’ve learned, and the most rewarding moments?

Each project presents its own set of challenge and learning experiences. I learned that a Calendar has a limited window of opportunity for selling! But I also learned that the concept was huge and there was a world to create. The biggest challenge was definitely losing my partner in the project. Janine Maloney is an amazingly creative and talented Makeup Artist who happened to be my girlfriend. When we split up, she moved to New Mexico. The 2014 Calender was emotionally challenging as well as logistically.

Fortunately, a few of the girls i worked with were also talented Makeup Artists and helped me through the challenge, Ally Antun, he only girl that has actually been in all three calendars, is extremely talented and motivated. She has created some great horror characters for “Slim’s Chamber of Horrors” a local haunted house experience that made the news this past season.

The most rewarding moment was holding the first calender in my hands. It was the most tangible proof i had ever seen that “You can do whatever you set your mind to.” The second most rewarding was having a booth at Comicon 2012 in NY with the girls in costume. The response was amazing.

Looks like this is just one of several similar projects – tell us about the others.

Well, This project has definitely connected me to my own style, which I don’t think I had established before, as far as shooting with women goes. While I do enjoy just shooting portraits, The ideas that excite me are more storytelling oriented, a moment in time that speaks to the viewer…

I have a project called DrrtyGrrls which is an homage to old school pinup photography and style, with a little twist – each girl has gotten herself “dirty” in her respective scenario. For example “Arc-Angel” os a girl in a motorcycle shop with a welding flame, working on a motorcycle, or “Flour Girl”- a waitress in a kitchen who has made a bit of a mess with the mixing machine.

Some newer work I’ve been doing is inspired by groups on Facebook like Girls with Guns and Badass Babes, so I have been focusing on the gun culture as well as the biker and tattoo cultures, which are very visual to begin with, providing me with tons of inspiration and material. I have also recently begun working for United Ink, a tattoo based company that runs Tattoo Expos and sponsors their own United Ink Angels – a group of up and coming tattoo models.

What are your favorite action heroine movies?

Hmm. That’s a tough one. I love the Rssident Evil Series. Of course, I have to mention Tarantino’s Kill Bill, and Planet Terror. Can I sneak in Tomb Raider as well?

How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Unfortunately, I don’t think I would last too long! But if I had any chance to just escape to the wilderness beforehand, that’s what I’d do. Avoid areas that were once populated.

What next for the Women of Armageddon?

Well, the story is pretty much developed and the script is being put together, so we can begin production on the photo-graphic Novel. But I have also been doing a bit of video production the last few years and it’s a very good possibility that we can bring the Women of Armageddon into some sort of live action series or feature. That would be phenomenal!

More information

2014 in Action Heroine Films

By Jim McLennan December 31, 2013 December 31, 2013 Feature

The IMDb lists over seven thousand films with a production date of 2014. Which ones look most likely to be of interest to girls with guns fans?

Raze (January 10)

We’ve been drooling not-so quietly over this one for quite some time – more than two years, in fact, since the first promo came out in November 2011, then through the trailer in March this year. And why? Because of the presence of Zoë Bell, who may finally get the chance to kick ass here, after being shamefully wasted in Django Unchained. The story concerns women abducted and forced to battle each other in an underground fight club, with their families being threatened as motivation. Bell was also one of the producers, so if this isn’t the hard-hitting actioner it needs to be, she can take herself outside for a stern talking-to. This will be a “limited” release, so keep your fingers crossed it’s somewhere near you, though I believe it’s also coming out through on-demand services.

Divergent (May 21)

Based on a popular series of young adult books by Veronica Roth, which has been compared to The Hunger Games, both being trilogies set in a dystopian future, with a young heroine. Certainly, the trailer (above) has a similar vibe, and contains enough action to establish its credentials here – it also gets a bonus point for including Maggie Q in a supporting role. So confident are the studio of this film’s success, that they are already working on versions of the other two books for March 2015 and 2016, so this series could become a staple of these previews. The writer of Jane Got a Gun (about which, more in a moment), Brian Duffield, has been hired for the second installment.

Maleficent (May 30)

Angelina Jolie is the nearest thing we have to a legitimate GWG superstar, and is perhaps the only actress who can open an action film on her name alone, as she did in Salt. This is, obviously, somewhat different, being more or less a re-telling of Sleeping Beauty, from the point of view of villainess Maleficent, who wasn’t always an evil witch. Per the synopsis, “When an invading army threatens the harmony of the land. Maleficent rises to be the land’s fiercest protector, but she ultimately suffers a ruthless betrayal – an act that begins to turn her pure heart to stone. Bent on revenge, Maleficent faces an epic battle with the invading king’s successor.” So, in other words, it’s Jolie being her usual BAMF self. Only, in this case, the last two letters stand for “magical female.”

Lucy (August 8)

Few directors have been more committed to the cause of action heroines than Luc Besson, going all the way back to Nikita, an icon of the genre, and just the first of a number of times he has gone to our well. This SF pic looks set to be another example. When Scarlet Johansson was cast as the lead in April, the Hollywood Reporter said the plot “centers on a woman forced to become a drug mule. But the drug instead goes into her system, transforming her into an ass-kicking machine. She can absorb knowledge instantaneously, is able to move objects with her mind and can’t feel pain and other discomforts.” Johansson, of course, was also the nearest thing The Avengers could give us to an action heroine, in her role as Black Widow, which could prove to be a nice warm-up. Heard very little else about this to date, so looking forward to a trailer soon – or even a poster.

Jane Got a Gun (August 29)

This achieved early notoriety, when original director Lynne Ramsay failed to show up for the first day of shooting, and ended up parting company with the production, taking the cinematographer and Jude Law, who had been scheduled to play the leader of the gang, with her. A lawsuit has followed, alleging the director was drunk and waved a gun around on set – claims Ramsay has denied (maybe she was just channeling the spirit of Werner Herzog?). A new director has been found, but will the film survive? Oh, yeah: the plot. Jane Hammond is a married to one of the worst baddies in town. When her husband turns against his own gang, and returns home barely alive with eight bullets in his back, Jane decides to grab a gun and take matters into her own hands.

Resident Evil 6 (September 12)

The series just won’t quit, and it’s the overseas market you can thank. While the latest installment, Retribution, barely scraped past the original’s US gross, despite a decade of ticket inflation, it took more than three times as much as the first outside of North America, 82.4% of its total box-office coming from foreign parts. As yet, information on the sixth is scant, to the point that it doesn’t even have an official subtitle (“Rebirth” has been reported), but it seems to be the last one – at least for Milla and director/husband Paul W.S. Anderson, though a subsequent reboot would not surprise me. Anderson said, “In terms of returning characters and themes, I do see [it] coming full circle, and circling back to the original characters and themes that were featured in the very first film,” and also returning to the hive where it all began too.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (November 21)

Say what you like, the series is easily the biggest action-heroine box-office hit of all time: Catching Fire is still in theaters, but is already past $750 million worldwide, and may end up surpassing the original. It’s also critically preferred, at 90% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, compared to 84% for the first part. So could we be looking here at the first ever billion-dollar action heroine movie? It’s not impossible, though more likely to be Mockingjay 2, if it follows the Harry Potter pattern, where the final movie enjoyed almost a 50% boost in receipts. Something similar would get into the top 10 all-time (currently #10 is Pirates of the Caribbean 2, at $1,066 million). Quite a remarkable feat, and a complete destruction of the argument that heroines can’t drive an action franchise.

Barely Lethal (TBA)

“A 16-year-old international assassin yearning for a “normal” adolescence fakes her own death and enrolls as a senior in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that being popular can be more painful than getting water-boarded.” I’m not sure who came up with that synopsis, but they likely deserve some first-hand experience of waterboarding. Cute title, even if it does feel rather too close to the lacklustre school plot from Kick-Ass 2. Chris will probably be up for this, since she thoroughly enjoyed director Kyle Newman’s Fanboys. Hailee Steinfeld plays the hit-teenager, Megan, and Jessica Alba is former employer Victoria Knox, who smells a rat and heads in pursuit. Samuel L. Jackson and Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones) are also involved.

Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger II — The Green Destiny (TBA)

Not a film I ever expected to see sequelized, but it was officially announced in May that filming would start next March. It’s based on another book in the same series on which the original was based, and will have Michelle Yeoh returning – if not under the direction of Ang Lee, I think Yuen Wo-Ping will do. Donnie Yen will also star, with Zhang Yi Yi reported in August as being “in talks” to appear in flashbacks. Given the brilliance of its predecessor, it’s got big shoes to fill, but still… Yeoh and Yen, with Yuen directing? We’ll be there. Some sources list this as 2015, but IMDb currently says next year, so we’ll include it here – while reserving the right to copy/paste this paragraph into next year’s preview!

Kite (TBA)

Based on the anime of the same name, the official synopsis says this “Kite is a character-driven action film that charts the story of Sawa (India Eisley), a young woman living in a failed state after the financial collapse, where a corrupt security force profits on the trafficking of young women. When Sawa’s policeman father is killed, she vows to track the murderer down with the help of his ex-partner, Karl Aker (Samuel L. Jackson).” Hmm. Seems to skip a couple of what would seem fairly pertinent details from the anime – but if you’ve ever seen the uncut version, you’ll know why it wouldn’t be directly filmable. Co-star Callan McAuliffe said, “It’s been toned down a tiny bit, but it is still exceedingly violent and there is a lot of the original material in there. It’s definitely not something that young children should watch.” Original director David R. Ellis died, but shooting completed in September under replacement Ralph Ziman.

Honorable mentions:

Veronica Mars (March 14) – The TV series about a young detective, played by Kristen Bell, was turned into a movie after a record-shattering Kickstarter project which hit its $2 million goal in eleven hours. I’ve never actually watched the show, but still – that’s kinda impressive. Am kinda intrigued now, given critical reaction such as “Alias in its attitude, Raymond Chandler in its writing and The O.C. in its class-consciousness.” Unfortunately, it’s not on Netflix, so it’ll have to wait!
Jupiter Ascending (18 July) – “In a universe where humans are near the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, a young destitute human woman is targeted for assassination by the Queen of the Universe because her very existence threatens to end the Queen’s reign.” It’s by the Wachowski brot… er, siblings. Once upon a time, that would have been all you’d have needed to say to get us into a frenzy, but that was before… Well, just about everything they’ve done, to varying degrees, since the original Matrix. So, we’ll restrain our enthusiasm on this one for a bit.
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (August 22) – We re-watched the original a little while ago, and it has stood the test of time very well, remaining one of the best graphic novel to film adaptations. The most obvious section of interest was The Big Fat Kill, which saw Clive Owen team up with the ferocious and protective hookers of Old Town, including Rosario Dawson and Devon Aoki. Dawson returns for this sequel, but Aoki is too busy being pregnant, so the role of “little Miho” is being played by Jamie Chung, whom you’ll know as Amber from Sucker Punch.

Girls With Guns calendars: 2014

By Jim McLennan December 11, 2013 December 25, 2013 Feature

In previous years, we’ve done a round-up of the available GWG calendars on our forums – here are the threads for 2011, 2012 and 2013 – but figured that, this year, we’d move it to the shiny new main-site! All prices quoted exclude shipping.

TACTICAL GIRLS http://www.tacgirls.com/ – $16.95 Now in their eighth year of operation, I think, and still the market leader. Justifiably so, for their combination of high-quality photography, interesting weapons and selection of models, which are all top-notch.
MAGPUL http://store.magpul.com – $16.95 Another veteran of the scene, there’s also a video giving an insight into the shooting of the calendar.
GUNS AND GIRLS http://gunsandgirlscalendar.com – $19.95 A little more expensive, but this one does cover a full 16 months (though not sure how many have passed!) and includes a poster.
COLD DEAD HANDS GUN GIRLS http://colddeadhands.us – $19.95 Their “Gun Girls of Facebook” calendar, includes the likes of Li’l Red Danger, and all profits from the sale of the calendar go to military charities.
GUNS AND LACE http://gunsandlace.com – $14.95
GEAR GIRL http://www.tacticaldistributors.com – $12.95
GEEK GIRLS WITH GUNS http://geekgirlswithguns.com – $20.00
HOT SHOTS http://hotshotscalendar.com – £9.99 Britain’s leading GWG calendar has a theme of a certain secret-agent – un-named for copyright reasons, I suspect!
GUNS AND CAMO http://gunsandcamo.com – $13.95
SKIN AND GUNS http://skinandguns.com – $12.95
STEPHANIE HAYDEN Sold through Ebay – $19.99 Stephanie Hayden, from Discovery’s Sons of Guns show, is selling her 2014 calendars through Ebay. For this pre-order special, all calendars are autographed by her.
WOMEN OF ARMAGEDDON WomenOfArmageddon.com – $15
MUNDO EXTREMO http://www.mundoextremo.com – $16.00 I found a bunch of stuff regarding the making of the calendar – but wasn’t able to locate the item itself! Price is an estimate, based off a Facebook post!
ALEX SMITS’ GIRLS WITH GUNS http://alexsmits.com – $20.00 And last, but certainly not least, we have Alex Smits’ GWG calendar. Alex has been writing about girls with guns for even longer than I have, so knows his topic!

The Zero Woman series

By Jim McLennan November 1, 2013 August 28, 2019 Feature

“Zero as a limit”

We’ve covered a couple of entries in the series previously, but I’ve decided to start work a rather more comprehensive set of reviews, systematically watching them in order, rather than the sporadic pieces previously published, as they fell across my retinas. Some of those pieces were also reprints from a previous publication, and were also shorter than the ones I’ve grown accustomed to writing. This was largely inspired by stumbling across the first movie, dating from the seventies, and realizing that I could now cover the entire set. I hate incompleteness. :) This will be an ongoing project, likely taking me through the winter and into next spring, so check back often (okay: fairly often!) for updates.

Like the Sasori: Female Prisoner Scorpion movies, its inspiration was a series of manga (left) by Toru Fujiwara, who seems to have a certain interest in the genre, to put it mildly. This generated one film in the seventies, but it doesn’t appear to have been much of a hit: unlike Scorpion, the series then went into hibernation. However, it has been suggested in more than one place that the film was an inspiration for, or at least an influence on, Luc Besson’s Nikita, which tells a similar story of a woman ‘brought back from the dead’ to serve her government, by carrying out missions that can’t be officially sanctioned. This, of course, then spawned its own (more or less) successful spin-offs, many of which we’ve already documented. But in a nice display of circularity, this likely fed into the revival of the series in the new millennium.

The new version, though straight-to-video rather than theatrical, and clearly made on smaller budgets, proved rather more successful, spawning a total of nine movies between the first, in 1995 and Zero Woman R in 2007. What’s kinda interesting is that, rather than having any degree of continuity, these films each starred different actresses as the titular operative. This may simply have been a budgetary concern rather than any conscious artistic decision, but certainly gives a nice sense of Zero Woman’s disposability, from the government’s point of view (as well as perhaps the viewers’, one AV starlet being as good as another for certain purposes, if you know what I mean, and I think you do).

So, what follows are all nine entries, in chronological order of Japanese release. This may cause some confusion, since the order of release in the West was not necessarily the same as in their home territory. For instance, the entry sub-titled Final Mission here, appears to have been the first “new” release, dating from January 1995. It’s not clear if the next film, released later that year and titled Zero Woman 2, is referring by that number to Final Mission or the original seventies incarnation, Red Handcuffs. tl;dr? Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. They’re pretty much interchangeable. And with that, on with the show!

Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs
★★½

When the series started in 1974, it originally appeared to be trying to take on the Female Convict Scorpion series at its own game – both were inspired by Toru Shinohara manga series. However, going by the fact it took more than two decades for a second entry in the series, I can only presume the commercial returns weren’t anywhere near as strong. This starts off well, with policewoman Rei (Sugimoto) luring in, and then blowing away, the man responsible for torturing and killing another woman. Turns out the perpetrator was a diplomat and in the resulting scandal, Rie is sent to jail. Her chance at redemption comes when a gang of thugs stumble into the kidnapping of the daughter of a politician (Tamba): to avoid a scandal, Rie is offered a pardon if she infiltrates the kidnappers and kills them all. Initially, all goes to plan, with the first member taken out quickly, but it soon becomes clear the other members are rampaging psychos, and the situation rapidly spirals out of control, to the point where the politician yanks his support and orders the deaths of everyone, in the name of damage limitation – including both his daughter and Rie.

The promising beginning is a bit of a con, as the majority of the film has Rei not doing much more than sitting around, waiting for the gang to destroy itself. Occasionally, she will prod them in a certain direction, but generally, they don’t exactly need much encouragement and she’s mostly passive rather than the vengeful fury for which I hoped. Now, there’s certainly plenty of tbe “fury” bit, with some of the most enthusiastic arterial spray I’ve seen for its time, and some of the torture scenes are close to unwatchably brutal (the cops are every bit as bad as, and perhaps worse than, the criminals in this area). However, Rei just isn’t as interesting a character as Sasori, despite sharing the same terse approach; she does fit in pretty well, to a cast of characters who all seem to possess few human or sympathetic qualities.

Things escalate particularly nicely at the end, when the police discard the “softly, softly” approach [which in seventies Japan, appears to mean “not actually killing people yourself“] and go after the gang, who have moved on to take a bunch of other hostages. This leads to a chase and shootout at an abandoned US military base, which probably also meant something significant in 70’s Japan, going by the occasional hints of anti-American sentiment. Noda has a broad stylistic palette, throwing montages, hand-held camera and freeze-frames into the mix, the last-named perhaps trying to evoke the manga spirit. It doesn’t come off as particularly memorable however, and if the lack of its own artistic style is more than made up for in copious sleaze, you can certainly see why no-one dared (or bothered?) to follow in its footsteps for more than 20 years.

Dir: Yukio Noda
Star: Miki Sugimoto, Eiji Go, Tetsuro Tamba, Hideo Murota
Zero Woman: Final Mission
★★★½

Probably the least accurate title of any film ever – at least Friday the 13th put out a few movies before using “final” – you definitely should begin here if you’re looking for much coherence. Rei (Iijima) is now partly employed as secretary to the head of Section Zero, but also takes out criminals for whom traditional channels of law enforcement aren’t enough, for one reason or another. She also pals around with Takako (Fukuoka), a detective from another section and a girl he helped bring out of delinquency, in what’s vaguely intimated as a love triangle. One night, they witness a hit and run, and discover the perpetrator (Suzuki) is the daughter of a powerful economic figure. Despite encountering official resistance, Rei and Takako persist with their investigation and, inevitably, this brings out more robust sanctions.

This does take some time to get going: it’s probably about 25 minutes before the car-micide in question, really kicks things off, and the film is more or less in a holding pattern until then. Still, Iijima certainly looks the part, and unlike some of the other occupants of the position, you don’t get the sense she got the role purely for her willingness to disrobe. Indeed, she manages even to take a shower and gun down an intruder without straying much beyond the boundaries of PG-13. Not that there’s exactly a shortage of nudity in this production, most of it coming from Suzuki, who is portrayed as being kinda depraved and heavily into S/M. Indeed, this seems the case for the director, as Rei spends a far too large chunk of the second half, tied up and being tormented by what can only be described as a cackling sex dwarf [literally half his lines must have been, “Bwahahahaha!”]. Quite what this says about Enokido’s predilections, is probably best glossed-over.

There’s a cool colour palette used here, mostly blues and grays, and a couple of scenes which will certainly stick in the mind. One is the previously mentioned shower-ambush, and the other is one where Rei is on the phone to Takako, when their conversation is rudely interrupted on his end: gradually, she realizes that something is very, very wrong. It’s expertly crafted, with good performances from both ends of the telephone line, and you can’t help wondering that more of this, rather than so much of the Laughing Gnome, would have elevated this to a classic. Instead, it’s merely hints at greatness, and settles for being solid and effective, starting the franchise in a way of which the original movie could only have dreamed.

Dir: Koji Enokido
Star: Naoko Iijima, Takako Fukuoka, Misayo Haruki, Miho Suzuki
Zero Woman 2
★★½

Confusingly titled in the West, without any indication it wasn’t the first of the rebooted franchise, this perhaps explains why there’s little or no explanation of… Well, anything, really. What is Section Zero? Who is Rei? Where did she come from? “Never mind about that,” seems to be the film’s attitude, “Here are Natsuki Ozawa’s breasts to distract you from such trifles.” That’s particularly the case early on, when it seems Rei is unable to go five minutes without showing them off, whether it’s through being molested, becoming inescapably randy or simply taking a soapy shower (to wash off the blood after a kill, so I guess it’s a shower necessary to the plot – it also replays the intruder shower scene from its predecessor, with a different ending).

Fortunately, their novelty apparently wears off for the director, and we get on with the actual plot, which involves a stolen suitcase of bearer bonds, belonging to a politician. Rei is sent to retrieve them, working her way up through the shady network of fences which handle such things. As help, she’s assigned a member of the regular police (Watari? – credit information is basically non-existent here), but he turns out to have his own plan, to recover the bearer bonds himself and make a nice profit by selling them back to their owner. However, said owner is also working his own way up the chain, and kidnaps the sister of one of the thieves, as leverage for the return of his property. That brings the perp (Kosugi, the son of Sho Kosugi, iconic star of a million ninja flicks) into an alliance with Rei, and they storm the warehouse where the hostage is held, for a bloody confrontation.

It’s more obvious that this is clearly shot on video – and not particularly HD video at that, though that may be a product of its era as much as anything. This generaly gets better as it goes along, unless you are interested in Ms. Ozawa’s breasts, in which case your mileage may vary. The plotting contains a decent number of twists and turns, and Kosugi helps deliver a competent amount of action. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t struggle through the earlier sections. In particular a scene where she is forced by a fence whose day job is a butcher, to sniff coke and then raped by him. While at least he gets his just deserts (let’s just say, there’s a meat-hook involved), it’s both entirely unnecessary and clearly intended to titillate the audience. Not cool, and it left a bad taste in my mouth, which even an impressively nihilistic conclusion was unable to remove entirely.

Dir: Daisuke Gotoh
Star: Natsuki Ozawa, Saori Iwama, Kane Kosugi, Hiroyuki Watari
a.k.a. Zero Woman
Zero Woman: Assassin Lovers
★★★★
“Grimly fiendish yet effective killers’ romance.”

Mob boss Daidohji (Yutani) has the city almost within his grasp, thanks to a minion promising him material he can use to blackmail the mayor. But his success is short-lived, as the minion is taken our by Rei (Takeda), who is then ordered by her boss Takefuji (Nishioka) to finish the job, taking out Diadohji and the rest of his gang. Not that the mobster is sitting back and waiting: he hires his own assassin, Katsumura (Matsusa), to get to Rei before she can get to him. However, neither killer is exactly happy with their role as pawns in the bigger scheme of things, and when they meet, it’s time for a little R&R. As in “romance and rebellion.”

This is the best of the saga which I’ve seen to date, mainly because it does a better job of striking a balance among the various elements. The storyline and characterization are not lazily ignored in preference for more easily exploitable elements; not that there’s any shortage of either sex or violence, but they seem to flow naturally from the plot, rather than appearing to drive it. The relationship between Katsumura and Rei has some credibility to it, with each seeing a reflection of themselves in the other. But will that be able to over-ride Rei’s strong loyalties to Section Zero? The film does a good job of keeping that in doubt, right up to the very end, where Rei is given the ultimate in ultimatums by Takefuji, and it’s not clear what way she’s going to jump.

There’s also a nice, slick look to the film, which unfolds under an apparent endless array of neon lights, and on perpetually-moist streets, a visual style that helps conceal the low-budget nature of proceedings. While the story may rely to heavily on the clichés of the genre, those involved, on both sides of the camera, execute – pun not intended – their responsibilities with enough flair and energy to counter-balance its shortcomings, and the end result is certainly a significant improvement on the first two films in the revived series.

Dir: Masahide Kuwabara
Star: Kumiko Takeda, Keiji Matsuda, Charlie Yutani, Tokuma Nishioka
Zero Woman: The Accused
★½
“Putting the zero in Zero Woman”

After the genuinely impressive bleakness of Assassin Lovers, the series comes crashing back to earth with a splat like a rotten tomato for this entry, which fizzles out early on, and then manages to lumber on for another 45 minutes. Rei (Tachihara) spends her time between missions hanging out at a gay bar, and rescues one of the rent boys, Mitsusu (Kitagawa), who ply their trade there after a vicious assault – accompanied, it has to be said, by the least appropriate music in the history of cinematic homosexual rape. He ends up moving in with her, to the latest in a series of unfurnished apartments provided by Section Zero, and the two damaged individuals start creating a life, of sorts, for themselves. However, there’s a serial killer, apparently with a deep hatred of men, operating in the area, and Rei is given the mission of tracking down and eliminating the psycho.

It’s hardly less than obvious who it’s going to be, but almost everything here is played at such a low-key, with no measurable intensity, so it’s even hard to be annoyed by this lack of subtlety. About the only moment with any energy is when Rei’s boss Mutoh (Yamashita) smacks her across the face for a bit of backtalk. However, my ennui was overcome by the scene where Mitsusu gives Rei a haircut. Considering this film is less than 80 minutes long, I think I could have very easily done without this – and, ideally, rather more action. After an opening which might impress upon you the importance of not getting stuck in an everyday routine, Gotô seems to lose interest in staging any set pieces, and the final few minutes certainly don’t make up for what has gone before.

Inexplicably described by Tom Mes as “the best” in the series, I found it severely uninteresting on just about any level, being badly hampered by poor performances, direction which struggled to reach workmanlike and, in particular, a script which is largely bereft of ideas. This and Assassin Lovers feel like the Jekyll and Hyde of the series; it’s as if all the good stuff somehow ended up in its predecessor, leaving this installment with just the inept film-making.

Dir: Daisuke Gotô
Star: Mai Tachihara, Yuujin Kitagawa, Shinji Yamashita, Daisuke Yamazaki
Zero Woman: The Hunted
★★½
“You just can’t get good henchmen these days.”

If ever I become an evil overlord, I will ensure my minions’ idea of security does not involve walking slowly in the open, towards an attacker, while firing wide of them from a range no greater than a slightly oversize dinner-table. That’s the first thing we take from this, which begins with a thoroughly implausible scene where Rei (Ono, who had been a part of 90’s J-pop group CoCo) manages to drown her target, a German industrialist, despite him being roughly twice her size, and without anyone in or around the swimming-pool noticing anything. She then climbs out, pulling a gun from who knows where, kills bodyguards who’d fail the Imperial Stormtrooper accuracy exam, and abseils down the side of the building to escape. That sets the tone for much of what follows, combining a reunion with someone from her past, a blossoming relationship with a chef, and her boss’s traditional surly reluctance to allow anything as banal as “personal happiness” to distract his #1 killer from her work.

It’s rather bitty, and there are too many scenes of Rei sitting around her apartment, staring wistfully into space or oiling her breasts. I should point out, however, this is actually oiling of the breasts that turns out to be necessary to the plot, which has to be worth an extra half-star in anyone’s book. As usual, it’s a different actress in the role, but Ono is a significant part of the problem here, as she just isn’t convincing as a hard-assed hitwoman, lacking the presence or even, apparently, the basic competence for the role. Fortunately for the film lasting more than five minutes, those she’s going up against are even worse, being unable to hit a barn if they were inside it. The film does redeem itself in the final 20 minutes or so, when all the threads tie together, and we realize that her boss was not kidding when he said, “There’s no place for you, except in Zero Section.” Things thereafter return to a grim and pessimistic worldview, and this shows the series at its most effective.

However, once you get past the initial mission to kill the German, there isn’t enough genuine action in this for it to be memorable. Maybe it’s a function of the low-budget, with your production being much cheaper, when you are filming your lead actress trying to look intense, instead of needing to expend money on blood squibs, blanks and other actors [I think it was renowned B-movie director Jim Wynorski who once described nudity as the cheapest special effect]. But it’s a method that is harder to pull off successfully, and in this particular instance, I can’t say the approach makes for more than marginally passing entertainment.

Dir: Norihisa Yoshimura
Star: Mikiyo Ono, Reina Tanaka, Kou Watanabe
Zero Woman: Dangerous Game
★★
“Game for just about anything, but mostly moping.”

The main mission given to Rie (Shiratori this time) is a little bit different, from her usual, straight-forward assassinations. Instead, she’s given the job of protecting a witness. Nana (Matsuda), the disgruntled mistress of an organ-trafficking ring, who has had enough and agreed to co-operate with the police. Rie is part of the protection detail, but soon finds out that the gangsters, under ever-so strange boss Kaneda (Nogami) with his transvestite tendencies, are not going to sit back and wait for Nana to take the witness stand. Oddly, the cops let Nana stay in her own apartment, perhaps figuring that’s the last place her former lover would look. but when that is unsurprisingly stormed, Rie takes the target back to the operative’s flat, where they hang out, exchanging small talk – that’s mostly Nana, of course, since Rie is about as talkative as the enormous pet fish she has in a tank, and to which she feeds goldfish.

However, there are complications, because it turns out that a senior politician has an ill daughter, who is relying on the organ trafficking ring for a black-market transplant. The word comes down to Rie’s boss, Mutoh (Ryu) that the investigation has been squashed, and Nana is to be dumped out of witness protection, as no longer of interest. That would almost certainly be a death sentence, because her betrayal of the gang isn’t limited to her knowledge of their actions, she also swiped a large suitcase of their cash before turning police informant. But has she done enough to endear herself to Rie, that her bodyguard might be prepared to go off-book and continue with the original mission on her own initiative? Or, better yet, entirely take out Kaneda – whose weirdness has now graduated from transvestitism to cannibalism.

This is too chatty to succeed, especially when the conversation is so one-sided, as are the ones between Nana and Rie. They do form a somewhat interesting contrast in characters, and Shiratori certainly has the physical presence to carry off the part of a cold-blooded assassin, to a much greater degree than some of the previous actresses in the series. But to reach the bloody finale, you have to sit through a solid 70 minutes of her moping around her apartment, with our without Nana, and that’s more than an entire month’s quota of mope for me. The L they’re missing from the sleeve probably is “lugubrious”. Kids, look it up…

Dir: Hidekazu Takahara
Star: Chieko Shiratori, Ichiho Matsuda, Masayoshi Nogami, Daisuke Ryu

The Sasori: Female Prisoner Scorpion series

By Jim McLennan May 16, 2013 August 28, 2019 Feature

In the first half of the 1970’s, Meiko Kaji was to the slightly-disreputable end of Japanese cinema, much what Pam Grier was to the same end of Hollywood movies. Both made a career out of playing strong female characters, often operating on or beyond the boundaries of the law, and with no compunction about using violence to achieve their ends – which often involved taking revenge on those (almost alwayx men) who had wronged them. The Sasori [Japanese for “scorpion”] was not Kaji’s first foray into the genre, having cut her teeth on the Noraneko Rokku [Straycat or Alleycat Rock] films, a couple of years previously.

And it’s probably not even her most well-known work in the West: that would be Lady Snowblood, which deposited her in an earlier era, as a female swordswoman, and whose theme was “borrowed” by Quentin Tarantino for Kill Bill, Volume 1. But in terms of enduring appeal, the character Sasori has them both beat, with sequels, remakes and spin-offs continuing for more than 35 years after the original, through the 2008 Hong Kong remake. Even now, it’s an iconic character that has rarely been matched for sheer bad-assery.

The credit for this is not entirely Kaji’s, though obviously her portrayal is indispensable. Often forgotten is that the character of Sasori did not originate on the silver screen, but in a manga, by Toru Shinohara (shown, left). He has something of a track record in the genre, having also created the comic on which the Zero Woman series was based, and written the story for Metropolitan Police Branch 82. Perhaps even more important to the saga’s lasting suggest was director Shunya Ito, who took the potentially-tawdry premise, and elevated it above and beyond the level you’d expect, with a visual style that goes far past any other mere “women in prison” flick. It’s such a fully-formed approach, right from the get-go, that it feels like the work of a far more experienced director.

Truly, it was one of those moments in movie history where things come together in such a way as to produce results which manage to be more than the sum of their parts. While the quality of the six films which came out during a five-year span from 1972-77 is undeniably variable. they all have their merits and remain worth your attention, even four decades later. Let’s take a look at each entry from the seventies incarnation in turn.

The series theme, Urami-Bushi, written by director Shunya Ito and sung by Meiko Kaji.

“You’re a beautiful fiower”, his words flatter you today.
But once you’re in full bloom, he’ll just toss you away.
Foolish, foolish, foolish woman’s song…
Her song of vengeance

“Sorrow is my fate”, so you’ve given up on men.
Show him your tears and he’ll bring you grief again.
Tearful, tearful, tearful woman’s song…
Her song of vengeance.

“You cling to your dreams,” they scorn your world of lies.
So you try to wake up, but you can’t open your eyes.
A woman, a woman, a woman’s heart is her song…
Her song of vengeance.

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion
★★★★
“One of the all-time classics of the women-in-prison genre.”

This archetypal “women in prison” film is lifted above its colleagues in the genre, most of which are little more than crude exploitation, by being pretty damn sophisticated exploitation. The two main factors are Ito’s great sense of visual style, and Kaji’s almost-silent performance as Nami Matsushima. She ends up in jail after being betrayed by her cop boyfriend Sugimi (Isao), who turns out to be in league with the Yakuza he was investigating. Nami vows to escape, and the film starts with her doing so, but she is quickly recaptured, thrown back into jail, and her fellow inmates are punished for her actions, causing them to turn against her. While not her fault, she’s involved in an incident which costs the warden (Watanabe) his eye, and he vows to break her at any cost. That’s an awful lot easier said then done, and what happens as a result might be what Nami wanted all along. Meanwhile, Sugimi, seeking to tie up the loose end she represents, promises another inmate, Katagiri (Yokoyama) parole, if she takes care of Nami.

I’m not quite sure how the DVD sleeve on the right reaches the conclusion that this “inspired” Kill Bill: maybe nodded to it in an elevator once, because “female revenge” is really about all they have in common. However, it stands perfectly well on its own merits, powered by Kaji, who has one goal in mind – escaping and taking revenge – and anything else just washes off her back. If you can imagine her as a female, darker version of Cool Hand Luke (without the hard-boiled eggs!), refusing to bow to the sadistic guards, when it would be far easier to do so, you’ll be in the right ballpark. She has no “superpowers,” just an extraordinary persistent resilience and inner strength that makes her a remarkable heroine. Particularly considering this was his feature debut, Ito’s use of colour and Dutch angles to enhance the action are quite remarkable in its lack of restraint. The screen glows green as Nami takes her revenge, for example, and there’s another shot which looks like a Hieronymus Bosch vision of hell, for its lurid shades, while the camera will till 90 or even 180 degrees to make its point.

There’s no shortage of the exploitative aspects, however, with copious amounts of toplessness and arterial spurting, as well as an amusing chunk of lesbian lust, where five minutes with Nami proves sufficient to turn a stool-pigeon into a devoted admirer. So this is not exactly family viewing, let’s be clear on that front. However, it’s quality is difficult to deny, and as sex ‘n’ violence goes, this is definitely from the top-shelf of the liquor cabinet.

Dir: Shunya Ito
Star: Meiko Kaji, Rie Yokoyama, Natsuyagi Isao, Fumio Watanabe
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41
★★★½
“Out of the frying-pan and into the fire goes our heroine.”

Right from the start, Nami (Kaji) established her utterly hardcore credentials, as she’s trying to dig her way out of the dungeon where she has been for the past year. With a spoon. Held in her teeth. She’s let out for the day because a bigwig is visiting, but takes the opportunity to attack warden Goda (Watanabe), almost depriving him of the sight of his other eye. As punishment for the resulting riot, Goda sends four guards to gang-rape Nami, and all the inmates are sent to a hard-labour camp. On the way back, they beat Nami as punishment, leaving her near-dead but it turns out that was just her ruse to get the guards to open the back of the van and escape. She leads the women across a blasted landscape, revenge once more on her mind, with Goda’s men in hot pursuit.

It doesn’t work quite as well as the original, in part because Nami’s motivation isn’t as clear and powerful: it’s only at the end that I realized who she was out to get (and, for the second time, we get a climax on a roof that, remarkably, actually ends, without someone toppling off it). It’s just not as strong a motive, considering everything she has been through by that point, and her terseness reaches almost epic proportions, so isn’t much of a help. Second time round, Ito has reined in the sexual aspects considerably, but has upped the surrealness, as if to make amends, and the results are a couple of truly brilliant sequences. One has a body turn into leaves and blow away, while the other sees a literal river of blood announce the death of a character. However, once they break out of jail, Nami seems largely passive, observing proceedings rather than driving them, and that deflates her value as a heroine.

It’d certainly be wrong to describe this as a failure, because it is undeniably successful at generating the atmosphere and tone desired by Ito, and Kaji is as charismatic as ever, with a powerful screen presence few actresses of any era can match. However, those elements exist in something of a vacuum here, and the results, while worthwhile, are less effective than I seemed to remember them.

Dir: Shunya Ito
Star: Meiko Kaji, Kayoko Shiraishi, Fumio Watanabe, Yukie Kagawa
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable
★★★
“Because a baby is for life – even if the Yakuza think otherwise. “

When this begins, Nami (Kaji) is on the run, and slices the arm off Detective Kondo (Narita) after he handcuffs himself to her. She befriends street hooker Yuki (Watanabe), who runs foul of the locak Yakuza gang by turning tricks on their turn, while trying to care for her brain-damaged brother, whom she also services sexually, to stop him from raping women(!). After Nami is involved in the death of a gang member who was blackmailing her, the gang’s madam Katsu (Lee), who knew the Scorpion from her own prison days, captures her, locking our heroine up in a literal big bird-cage. But after the true horror of the Yakuza’s treatment of their women is revealed (it starts with a golf-club going where no golf-club should ever go), Nami escapes and carves a bloody path of revenge on those responsible. When Katsu realizes what’s going on, she turns herself in to the police, figuring jail will be safe from Sasori’s wrath. Take a wild stab in the dark… Which, by coincidence is exactly what Katsu deserves.

There are some angles to this I liked. For instance, the way that Nami is taking revenge here, less for herself – really, she gets off pretty lightly, in comparison to the previous two installments – than for others. I also enjoyed the way she… Well, I’m reluctant to spoil it, but let’s just say, she takes care of Katsu and Kondo without getting her hands dirty. However, the positives are largely balanced out by Yuki, who is one of the more irritating and pointless creatures in cinematic history. Her life appears to be a litany of bad choices, and the film seems to realize how tiresome she is: in the second half, she’s largely relegated to flicking lit matches into the sewer where Nami is hiding out (in a fetching blue dress, it has to be said).

This would be Ito’s last entry in the series: he’d later go on to direct Gray Sunset, which beat out Kurosawa’s Ran to become Japan’s official Academy Award entry for the Foreign Film category in 1985. He seems to have reined in some of his more stylish visual excesses here, which is a bit of a shame, as that’s one of theings which helped elevate this series above the level of generic exploitation. This certainly delivers on the sleaze front [yet could be seen as pro-life, an interesting combo!], but at least in the first half, doesn’t have a great deal more to offer.

Dir: Shunya Ito
Star: Meiko Kaji, Mikio Narita, Yayoi Watanabe, Reisen Lee
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Grudge Song
★★★
“Can Sasori escape the hangman’s noose and live happily ever after?”

Nami (Kaji) is about to get married, but her wedding day is rudely interrupted by the arrival of the cops, who arrest her. On the way to prison (and, unsurprisingly, death row, given the body count left behind in the previous three movies), she takes out the driver, causing a crash. The injured Scorpion staggers away, and is rescued by Kudo (Tamura), a former political radical who was brutalized by the police for his actions, and so has a massive load of resentment against them. After being informed of Kudo’s harbouring of Nami by a worked at the sex-club where he works, the cops take him in: and use both physical and psychological torture to try and make him give up her location. Eventually arrested, Nami is sentenced to death, but the cops intend to make sure the time leading up to her execution is as unpleasant and possible, and the detective in charge, Hirose (Tsukata), is intent on making even Nami’s death as lonely an experience as possible.

“Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.” Michael Corleone’s quote from Godfather III seems appropriate here, as it appears Nami was preparing to settle down to a normal life, difficult though it is to see her as a happy housewife. Of course, the cops won’t let it lie, and so begins another cycle of revenge. As in the previous entry, it’s less Nami’s vengeance than her associate’s, at least initially, as we discover Kudo has as much, if not more, reason to hate the police as she does. The final section, however, returns to its roots, with Nami back in prison and having to handle hostility, not only from the police but the guards, though by this time, she has at least attained near-legendary status among the other prisoners, as you’d expect. Doesn’t stop her screwing with another prisoner, who appears to be calmly awaiting her fate: the point of that seemed kinda lost, and unnecessarily cruel.

The last of the series in which Kaji starred, it was also the only one of her four movies not directed by Ito. His replacement, Hasebe, is competent enough, but only rarely brings the same sense of style to proceedings. Kaji is as worth watching as ever, but for too long, she seems like a supporting character in her own movie, with the focus more on Kudo. Chalk up another win for misleading advertising though, as Nami certainly does not use the long rifle with which she is pictured on the DVD sleeve (right).
New Female Prisoner Scorpion 701
★★★
“Reset! Reset!”

Just goes to show that the “cinematic reboot” is not a 21st-century invention, e.g. Batman or James Bond. For a mere three years after Meiko Kaji showed her sting as Nami, the studio reset the series, giving it a new director, new (and much more talkative) lead actress, and returning Nami Matsushima to a happy, criminal record-free young women, with a loving boyfriend. Except, of course, he turns out not to love her quite as much. Things start to collapse after her sister uncovers evidence of major government corruption, and passes it to Nami, shortly before being kidnapped. After Nami uncovers the truth – her sister is killed and she is framed for the murder, with the help of her boyfriend, and sentenced to 15 years in prison. Initially an easy mark for the tough girls in her cell, Nami soon develops her mean streak. And she’s going to need it, because the politician behind it all is looking to tidy up the loose end she represents, by killing her and making the death look like a suicide. Name turns the tables, in incendiary fashion, and it’s clear that she’s one loose end that won’t be quietly disposed of.

Y’know how On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is a really great Bond film, with a crappy Bond, Lazenby being the merest shadow of Connery? That’s the situation we have here. The film would be perfectly serviceable, but with every (largely superfluous) word, gesture and action, the viewer can’t help but be reminded of Kaji, who simply fits the character being depicted here, far better. Not that Takigawa is a bad actress. It is just that Kaji made such a strong impression in the role, anyone else playing the character is almost bound to seem like a pale imitation in comparison. Without Kaji or the surrealist touches brought to the previous entries by Shunya Ito, there really isn’t much to distinguish this from the rougher end of the pinku genre, with Kohira appearing to take particular interest in the rape.

The sections after Nami breaks out are the best, in terms of style, and it’s hard to put your finger on any problems: “competent” is likely a good word for this. But probably the most damning indictment, is that I watched the film, wrote most of the review, and then realized almost nothing about the second half had stuck in my mind at all. I ended up having to pull the movie up, just to convince myself I hadn’t been called away to dinner half-way through or something. I hadn’t: it had just failed to make any significant impression on me.

Dir: Yutaka Kohira
Star: Yumi Takigawa, Ryoko Ema, Nobuo Kaneko, Ichiro Nakaya
New Female Prisoner Scorpion: Special Cellblock X
★★★½
“And we bid a fond farewell to Nami, and a third different actress.”

The comparisons of Takigawa to Lazenby above proved appropriate in another way, both being canned after one entry playing the iconic title character, which is probably just as symptomatic of something. The replacement here as Nami Matsushima is Natsuki, who seems to go back toward a more taciturn heroine, closer to the original. But it’s, effectively, another reboot, with not even a nod to the previous entry. In this case, the heroine is a nurse, framed for her involvement in the hospital murder of a politician who was threatening to expose corrupt practices. The film starts with her being sent back to jail after a failed escape attempt: that resulted in the rest of the inmates being punished, and they’re none too pleased to see her brought back. There’s also a pragmatic guard who is happy to keep the inmates supplied with cigs and chocolate in exchange for peace, but his position is threated by the arrival of a new head of “security”, with a much tougher stance. After trying to expose the abuse to a visiting dignitary, he ends up in hot water, and teams up with Nami, the pair going on the lam through the mountains, chained to each other – it’s a bit like Black Mama, White Mama, with characters forced to work together for their mutual benefit.

In some ways, this feels like a combination of the first two movies: it has the “woman wronged by the man she loves” theme of the original, and then the “escape through a blasted landscape” plotline from its immediate sequel. There’s also the usual helpings of abuse, though the sexual content here is significantly toned-down, with Natsuki barely showing a nipple. On the other hand, the S&M seems more intense, most notably a scene where multiple prisoners are bound and hung up, to be brutally beaten. By this point, I’ll confess that my interest in that aspect, never exactly great, was all but non-existent. Things did perk up post-escape, with some excellent cinematography, as the pair struggle through the deserted landscape [it’s easy to forget how concentrated the Japanese population is, leaving some areas almost desolate]. Of course, it ends with another vengeful confrontation for Nami – not for the first time, on a roof.

The paucity of original ideas to be found here likely indicates why the series went into dormancy thereafter. As a way to wrap up, however, it works fairly well, particularly if you consider it as a “greatest hits compilation” from the preceding entries. While Natsuki still falls short of the intensity brought to the role by Kaji, she is an improvement on Takigawa, and this moves at a brisk enough pace to sustain interest, even in a viewer looking for less prurient aspects.

Dir: Yutaka Kohira
Star: Yoko Natsuki, Masashi Ishibashi, Hiroshi Tachi, Takeo Chii

See also

Lady Snowblood 1 + 2
Sasori
Scorpion Double Venom
Scorpion’s Revenge
The Zero Woman series

Zeiram

By Jim McLennan March 24, 2013 August 28, 2019 Feature

“Z is for Zeiram”

Keita Amemiya was one of the directors of the show Kyõryû Sentai Zyuranger, a Japanese series which provided the initial basis (and much footage) for Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. But he is a bit of a Renaissance man, also working in animation, video games and illustration. His work seems to have a common sense of imagination, to the extent that it can be a bit overwhelming. A review of his first feature, Cyber Ninja – a title that, alone, give you a fairly idea of the location from where Amemiya is generally coming – hits the mark: “A feature length video game commercial, a much too-long advertisement for a Namco arcade game that never made its way into American pizza parlors.”

For our purposes here, however, we are concerned solely with Zeiram, his creation which spawned two live-action movies, a six-part anime adaptation, and I’m pretty damn sure a comic-book [though Google isn’t proving much help, and I’d have to go down and open my comic boxes to confirm that; since the last time they were cracked was, I kid you not, in 2000, I am reluctant to break the seal on them now]. As we’ll see the titular creature is very much the villain, but it easily qualifies here thanks to its kick-ass heroine. I had hoped to get round to watching the anime in time for this month’s installment, but I didn’t quite make it. Since baseball Opening Day and the subsequent summer go-slow is almost upon us, probably best if I cover the two movies now, and I’ll add the anime… hopefully in April, but no promises! [Update: got to it in May, so not too bad!]

Zeiram + Zeiram 2

By Jim McLennan

★★★

Zeiram and its sequel, Zeiram 2, both concern a creature which combines all the most unpleasant and lethal features of The Thing with The Terminator. It’s humanoid, at least in the number of functioning limbs, but its head appears almost mushroom shaped – though it’s hard to tell where Zeiram ends and its hat begins, for there’s a second face, embedded in the hat. This is capable of extending on a tentacle, to attack victims, taking in nourishment, and there’s evidence to suggest that it can absorb their DNA and use it to create monsters. Oh, and the rest of it is almost impossible to destroy.

However, trying to do exactly that is Iria (Moriyama), an interstellar bounty hunter, who has laid a trap to take Zeiram into an alternate, uninhabited dimension, in order to deal with him in a way that will pose no threat to the local population. However, she reckons without the arrival of electrical techs Kamiya (Hotaru) and Teppei (Ida), who have been dispatched by the power company to investigate the power-drain resulting from Iria’s tech. Through an unfortunate series of events, they end up in the alternate dimension with Zeiram, while Iria is largely stuck in our world, trying to keep them alive until she can fix her portal and get in there to help them.

The problems here are largely two-fold. Kamiya. And Teppei, There are few things less appealing than comic relief characters whose antics and mugging are supposed to be endearing or amusing, but fail miserably on both fronts. They bring very little to proceedings except for running time, and that’s a shame, because there is no shortage of bizarre inventiveness on view. And when the pair stop trying to be characters, shut the hell up, and simply team up with Iria to kick alien arse, it’s a lot better, because whatever they do to Zeiram, he/she/it just keeps mutating into another form and fighting back. You get the sense being fed through a wood-chipper would only be a minor inconvenience.

This also helps cover up Moriyama’s somewhat limited set of fighting skills. Admittedly, it’s possible she had to slow things down in order to fight a giant mushroom, but the hand-to-hand combat here is choreographed at about the speed of a Strauss waltz. She does have screen presence, however, and looks decent enough firing a gun. To a casual eye – that’d be my wife’s, wandering through the living-room – this could look like an episode of Amemiya’s Power Rangers, and it’s not surprising he would go on to direct some Kamen Rider films. But it’s too uneven to succeed: for every moment where you go, “Cool!”, there’s another where you’ll roll your eyes, or just go “Eh?”. For instance, the section where Zeiram squeeze out goo onto the ground, which grows into a half-man that has a burbling conversation with Zeiram, before getting its head stomped on. Altogether, now: eh?

The sequel, which came out three years later, restores the “i” in the title, which was inexplicably removed from the original for it US release by Fox Lorber. This installment starts off as if it’s going to go in some radically different directions, even if all the main players are back. Iria is seeking an ancient artifact called the Carmarite, and additionally, has a new assistant, but he turns out to be untrustworthy. Meanwhile, a shadowy group has succeeded in regenerating Zeiram as a cyborg warrior (which makes a lot more sense if you’ve seen the anime, and know its origins), bending its will to their needs and turning it into a weapon. While initially successfully, this works about as well as most plans usually do, and it’s not longer before Zeiram is much more a menace than an ally.

However, just when you think the film is going into new and interesting territory… Well, I’m not quite show how it happened, but before long we were back in more or less the same situation as the original. Blah blah irritating comic relief blah another dimension blak Iria unable to help (this time because she gets herself locked in a room), etc. You’re looking at something which borders on being a remake of the original, and unlike something like Terminator 2, which upped the ante significantly, while telling a largely similar story, there isn’t any real sense of progression or development. Much as before, things do get better when things move into action, and Zeiram is again, a shape-shifting nightmare that won’t stay dead. And this time, not even a cute dog which strays into proceedings is off the menu.

It also helps that, this time around, Moriyama has a better handle on the action angle. Previously, it was very much a case of kick, pause, punch, pause, move, but she is a good deal more fluid here, and makes for a more credible heroine as a result. However, her strength is still more in the “looking cool with a gun” department, because her punches still look like they might be troubled by a damp paper-bag. On balance, the sequel’s lack of invention is approximately balanced by the overall improvement in Iria’s character and the slightly better overall production values – it still looks like you could fund it from your bedside table change – and it’s as worth watching as the first part. Which would be “somewhat”: call both of them a rent (or more likely these days, a download), rather than a buy.

Dir: Keita Amemiya
Star: Yûko Moriyama, Mizuho Yoshida, Kunihiro Ida, Yukijirô Hotaru

Iria – Zeiram the Animation

By Jim McLennan

★★★½

Though released several years later, this is a prequel to the two Zeiram movies, telling the story of the first encounter between Iria (Hisakawa, who was also Sailor Mercury) and Zeiram. At the time, she was an apprentice bounty-hunter, working alongside her brother Gren. They take a mission to rescue a VIP and recover the cargo from a stranded space-ship. However, once there, they discover the “cargo” is actually the alien Zeiram, which a corporation is interested in using as a weapon. The result leaves her brother apparently dead, and Iria now the target for the corporation, who want to hush up their thoroughly-dubious plan, by any means necessary. Fortunately, as well as her own skills, our heroine has the assistance of former rival bounty-hunter, Fujikuro (Chiva), endearing urchin Kei (Kanai), and Bob (Ikeda), a colleague whose consciousness has been turned into an AI.

The six-episode (about 25 mins per part, by the time you skip the opening and closing credits) series worked, for me, a little better than the live-action, simply because of the nature of animation: there’s no need for restraint. There were times in the movies where you could see where Amamiya wanted to, but has to restrain his imagination for budgetary reasons. Here, there’s close to a fully-fledged universe, with content which would likely be well beyond the budget of anyone not named James Cameron. There’s also a nice character arc for Iria: initially, she is probably too big for her boots, with an over-inflated sense of her own skills. When she meets Zeiran, she soon discovers she isn’t quite the cat’s whiskers, at least, not to the extent she thinks.

As with most animation of the time, it’s not going to be confused with Miyazaki, and it would be silly to expect otherwise. However, there remain weaknesses. Most obviously, and surprisingly – because it’s the same issue as in the live-action version – is the diversion of time to secondary characters, in particular Kei and sidekick, the latter of whom is there for one purpose only (too spoilerific to discuss in detail; I’d say it falls into the category of “surprising, but almost entirely pointless”). That’s true for much of the plot, which feels over-similar to the Aliens series, and at times, the conspiracy angles just seem to be there to fill in time, before we get to the inevitable final battle between Iria and Zeiram. It did generally keep my interest, overall; but I can see why it hasn’t exactly been remembered as a classic of the medium.

Dir: Tetsuro Amino
Star: (voice) Aya Hisakawa, Shigeru Chiba, Mika Kanai, Masaru Ikeda

Teenage Kicks: the “last cinematic taboo” of the action-heroine.

By Jim McLennan November 29, 2012 March 19, 2014 Feature

I’ve noticed a clear trend over the past couple of years for action-heroines to skew younger. Both of the principal 2011 genre entries to date, Sucker Punch and Hanna have featured heroines who aren’t old enough to drink, particularly in the latter’s case. One of the most anticipated films, currently in pre-production, is The Hunger Games, in which a 16-year old girl is press-ganged into a fight to the death, against other teenagers. But we’ve seen examples previously too, notably in last year’s Kick-Ass, where a foul-mouthed moppet stole the film in many people’s eyes, albeit not without causing a great deal of controversy.

Let’s review these, and some other entries in the sub-genre, both historical and fictional. You can find them all the way back to the seventh century, such as China’s Princess Pingyang, who was born in 598, and was instrumental in raising and leading an army of 70,000 men in a successful rebellion against the Emperor Yang, before reaching her twentieth birthday. This helped establish her father as the first Emperor of the Tang dynasty, often regarded as a high-point of Chinese civilization. We can perhaps file Mulan in this category too, though the poem does not assign her a specific age.

Joan of Arc was perhaps the first world renowned teenage action-heroine. She led the French army at the age of 16 or 17, lifting the siege of Orleans and turning the course of the Hundred Years’ War in France’s favour, though it rumbled along for decades more. A little later in French history, Jeanne Laisné, known as Jeanne the Hatchet after a crucial role in preventing the capture of Beauvais by the Duke of Burgundy. Many countries have their own “Joans”, and sher may well have been an inspiration for Maria Rosa, a 15-year old girl who claimed divine visions and led a rebel army during the Brazilian Contestado War around 1914.

Around the year 1660, we find the lyrically-named Görwel Christina Carlsdotter Gyllenstierna. Wikipedia tells us this Swedish noblewoman “was known by her contemporaries for her great learning as well as for her interest and skill within sports normally reserved for males.” She was referred to as “A Minerva and an Amazon in one”, and made herself widely known in her mid-teens, when she challenged a Lieutenant Colonel in the Swedish military to a duel – he had married her cousin against the consent of her family. I couldn’t find any record of the duel’s result, but she would certainly seem to qualify as an action-heroine.

A fairly notable case was that of Mary Ann Talbot (above left), who took a male name and joined the British Navy at age 14. to be with her lover. She was wounded twice and captured by the French before returning to London four years later. She only revealed her gender when a press-gang tried to re-enlist her forcibly, at age 19. She then became a servant in the household of a publisher, who subsequently published her memoirs. Another teenager to take this route around the same time, was 17-year old Anna Lühring, who fought in the Prussian Army as “Edward Kruse”, and remained with her unit even after her true identity was discovered.

Such tactics were necessary in Western society because of the increasing belief that women were not “fit” for combat. It was still possible as late as 1915, when Dorothy Lawrence (right) posed as a man to reach the Somme front-lines, where she laid mines, until illness forced her to reveal her identity. Her memoirs are available, free, from Google E-books. Finally, a couple of others about whom not much is known. Candelaria Figuerdo joined the Cuban revolutionary forces in 1868 at 16, and is said to be the first woman to fight in defense of Cuba. And Rayna Kasabova was a Bulgarian air force pilot and the first woman in the world to participate in a military flight. At 15, during the First Balkan War in 1912, she flew above Edirne to throw out propaganda leaflets in Turkish.

The purpose of all this is to show that age, or lack thereof, is no impermeable barrier. Even when barely into the teenage years, and certainly too young to vote or drink, women are capable of courage and action. But it has long been a problematic in the movie world. While I wouldn’t claim it was the first of the genre, undeniably the most influential was Luc Besson’s Léon, a.k.a. The Professional. In this Natalie Portman played Matilda, a 12-year old who sees her whole family gunned down by a corrupt DEA squad, but has the good fortune to live next door to a taciturn assassin (Jean Reno) who takes her in – not without qualms on his part. She wants to become a ‘cleaner’, like him, so she can avenge her family, and launches a one-girl assault on the DEA headquarters. That triggers their head, the supremely-psychotic Gary Oldman, to marshal forces of his own, setting the scene for a truly memorable final battle.

It’s one of my all-time favorites, but a number of critics found the relationship between Matilda and Léon troublesome, such as Gene Siskel calling it “questionable in its would-be sexy portrayal of a pre-teenage girl.” Part of the problem is it is Matilda who tries to instigate a physical relationship, pouncing on the first thing anywhere approaching genuine affection that she has ever experienced – Léon isn’t much more emotionally-rounded, and has no idea how to respond, except for a vague feeling it’s not right. But it is, apparently, okay to train Matilda as an apprentice killer. These aspects were a lot more explored in the extended European version, which runs 25 minutes longer; the US version was edited after test audiences reacted badly to Matilda’s more adult activities.

One can look to Japan for other provocative examples, both live-action and animated. The origins go back well before that, however, to the sixties and the pinky violence genre, which combine sex and…well, violence. While not all such “bad girl” films necessarily involve teenagers, some would certainly qualify, such as the marvellously-titled Terrifying Girls’ High School: Lynch Law Classroom, which lobs horror elements into the mix. I hope to cover more from this genre in the coming year. But teenage terrors extend beyond this: others worth mentioning with characters who can kill you as easily as they’d go shopping include Azumi, The Machine Girl and Mutant Girls Squad. These all represent an interesting counterpoint to the rigid role models typically imposed on women in Japanese society, and their popularity may represent a rebellion of sorts against this.

In a somewhat more light-hearted vein (for the most part), many anime and manga series have had teenage protagonists – as you’d expect, given they are often the core audience. The archetype goes back at least to the mid-1950’s, and Osama Tezuka’s Princess Knight, about a princess who must pretend to be male, so she can inherit the throne. There are too many of these even to list here, but some of the most well-known action-oriented examples in the West include Project A-ko, Sailor Moon, Blood: The Last Vampire, Cutie Honey, Gunslinger Girl (left), Noir and Dirty Pair – particularly Dirty Pair Flash, where both Kei and Yuri are seventeen-year olds.

Probably the most notorious example of live-action is Battle Royale, which follows a class of 15-year olds as they are kidnapped by the goverment, put on a deserted island and ordered to kill each other, in order to strike fear into the rest of the nation’s youths. The results show that lethal intent is by no means limited to the male sex, and the film was condemned at the time of its release in late 2000, by some in the Japanese parliament as “crude and tasteless”, who also complained about the ‘R15’ rating, saying it was liable to harm teenagers. Rumour has it that it has been “banned” in the United States, but it’s more that the makers were concerned about possible US lawsuits, post-Columbine. The movie may eventually come out – in its 10th-anniversary, 3D version!- this year.

The movie is unquestionably an influence on The Hunger Games, a young-adult novel written by Suzanne Collins, now in the process of being made into a major film. In both the setting is sometime in the future, when the threat of chaos has forced the totalitarian government into tough measures: randomly selecting children to participate in a “kill or be killed” contest, televised nationally “pour discourager les autres”, as Voltaire almost once said. Collins has never acknowledged the similarities, and it’s possible she was unaware of underground cinema – but it’s hard to believe everyone who saw the manuscript was similarly ignorant.

My major concern is whether the film will be able to pack the wallop contained in some of the book’s sequences, while working within the PG-13 rating it’s aiming for. [I note the irony of the rating system: there’s nothing to stop teenagers from buying the books which describe, in bloody details, murder of and by children. But see those same fictional events acted out in a cinema? Not without an accompanying parent or guardian] One suspects the result will, inevitably, be watered-down: it will take some skill from director Gary Ross, to replace the visceral impact with a more emotional one. It’s certainly not the Twilight saga, which has sharply divided readers. Bella is too ’emo’ for many tastes, but the supporting characters provide some counterpoints to that argument. If you’re looking for strong female roles in that genre, forum contributor Yâoguài provided a useful introduction to some other entries worth a look.

Quick: name a film where Saoirse Ronan plays a teenage assassin – besides Hanna. She seems to have developed a taste for the genre, as she also plays one in Violet & Daisy, directed by Geoffrey Fletcher (the screenwriter for Oscar-winner Precious). She is Daisy, along with Alexis Bledel as Violet: the two young killers for hire accept what they think will be a quick-and-easy job, until an unexpected target throws them off their plan. Said Ronan, “They couldn’t be more different [from Hanna]. Daisy is a really, really sweet girl. She’s not a natural killer like Violet is… They have their own little world. And everything is poppy and fun and about puppy dogs and dresses. They’re taking on this job because they want to get this dress that their pop idol has. Her name is Barbie Sunday.”

On television, one show stands out above all others: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which followed the life of Buffy Summers, through the discovery of her powers and on through college and into adulthood. But the first three seasons of the series (as well as the feature which preceded it) all took place at High School, and it’s there that the show’s foundations were laid – and some would argue, its best work done (certainly, the show received its best ratings). The influence of Buffy on the field has been enormous, with a slew of shows which owe a debt to her in one form or another, and it’s no exaggeration to say that the heroine became a cultural icon. Indeed, it found a success, both critical and commercial, which those involved have found somewhat hard to recapture. Joss Whedon’s subsequent forays into TV, in Dollhouse and Firefly, both were canceled due to low ratings, though the former has its own devoted cult following.

Even the most contentious of the above, however, were a mere blip compared to the – and there’s not really another word – shitstorm that greeted Kick-Ass last year, mostly for its tiny killing machine, Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz). The relationship is similar to that in Leon, except that it’s her father (Nicolas Cage) who is her tutor. And, while Matilda never actually kills anyone, Hit Girl does so with gleeful, foul-mouthed abandon. “Okay, you cunts – let’s see what you can do now,” she says, before taking apart an apartment full of drug-dealers and low-lives. When it comes to the action, she’s certainly a great deal more competent and confident than the hero.

But not everyone was impressed…

“Millions are being spent to persuade you that Kick-Ass is harmless, comic-book entertainment suitable for 15-year-olds. Don’t let them fool you… It deliberately sells a perniciously sexualised view of children and glorifies violence, especially knife and gun crime, in a way that makes it one of the most deeply cynical, shamelessly irresponsible films ever… The reason the movie is sick, as well as thick, is that it breaks one of the last cinematic taboos by making the most violent, foul-mouthed and sexually aggressive character, Hit-Girl, an 11-year-old.The movie’s writers want us to see Hit-Girl not only as cool, but also sexy, like an even younger version of the baby- faced Oriental assassin in Tarantino’s Kill Bill 1. Paedophiles are going to adore her. One of the film’s creepiest aspects is that she’s made to look as seductive as possible… She’s fetishised in precisely the same way as Angelina Jolie in the Lara Croft movies, and Halle Berry in Catwoman. As if that isn’t exploitative enough, she’s also shown in a classic schoolgirl pose, in a short plaid-skirt with her hair in bunches, but carrying a big gun. Kick-Ass is not the harmless fun it pretends to be. Yes, it’s lightweight and silly, but it’s also cynical, premeditated and mindbogglingly irresponsible. And in Hit-Girl, the film-makers have created one of the most disturbing icons and damaging role-models in the history of cinema.”

Even for the most reactionary critic on the most reactionary newspaper (The Daily Mail) in the UK, that’s harsh – and largely unjustified. There’s very little sexual about Hit Girl at all; the hero has absolutely no interest in her (being keener on a girl who thinks he’s gay!), and she’s almost entirely no-nonsense and practical. The only possible exception is the scene where she dresses in the schoolgirl uniform shown atop this piece to get into the villains’ headquarters, and that’s exploiting the vulnerability of the image than its sexuality. But guess which pic, of all the dozens possible from the movie, is used to illustrate the review on Tookey’s own website? Yep. The same. He’s happy to condemn, while simultaneously exploiting it for his own moral agenda.

But his reading of the movie says a lot more about the writer than the film: as another critic mentioned, “If anyone finds her sexy. it’s because they find little kids sexy”. And the truth finally came out, as Tookey admitted (in the unrepentant review linked above) to having “experienced at first hand the attentions of three different men who would now be called paedophiles.” Three? As Oscar Wilde nearly put it, “To be molested once may be regarded as a misfortune; three times looks like carelessness.” It’s a known fact paedophiles were usually themselves abused as children, so I have absolutely no problem in calling Tookey out for expressing his tendencies in this area: put bluntly, I’d not leave my kids alone with him. And he was somehow surprised by the backlash?

This is by no means an exhaustive survey. I could have gone on at quite some more length. Hanna. True Grit. Let the Right One In. But it does reflect, to some extent, the way society views teenage action heroines, because they are even more transgressive that adult action heroines. Women aren’t “supposed” to be assertive, self-confident or prepared to battle, physically, for what they believe. The same is true for children. Combine the two and – despite the examples drawn from history given above – you’ve got something which pushes a lot of society’s buttons. And I suspect that’s not something which is likely to change anytime soon.

James and the Cold Gun

Babooshka

The Wedding List

Running up That Hill

★★★★½ “It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.”

10 Favourite Lines from The Whole Bloody Affair

“The lioness has rejoined her cub, and all is right in the jungle.”

Gallery: Volume 1

Gallery: Volume 2

“All men must die. But we are not men…” — Daenerys Targaryen

“The more people you love, the weaker you are.” — Cersei Lannister

“Some day I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.” — Arya Stark

10. Shae

9. Olenna Tyrell

8. Melisandre

“Death by fire is the purest death” — Melisandre

7. Ygritte

6. Catelyn Stark

5. Yara Greyjoy

4. Cersei Lannister

“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.” — Cersei Lannister

3. Arya Stark

2. Brienne of Tarth

1. Daenerys Targaryen

“We will lay waste to armies, and burn cities to the ground.” — Daenerys Targaryen

For those who don’t know, high concept Women of Armageddon for us.

What’s your background and artistic influences?

Where did the idea come from?

Was there a particular type of Armageddon in mind?

How did you go about putting the first calendar together in 2012, getting the models and the weapons?

How was the reaction?

Where did things go from there?

What have been the biggest lessons you’ve learned, and the most rewarding moments?

Looks like this is just one of several similar projects – tell us about the others.

What are your favorite action heroine movies?

How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

What next for the Women of Armageddon?

More information

The IMDb lists over seven thousand films with a production date of 2014. Which ones look most likely to be of interest to girls with guns fans?

Raze (January 10)

Divergent (May 21)

Maleficent (May 30)

Lucy (August 8)

Jane Got a Gun (August 29)

Resident Evil 6 (September 12)

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (November 21)

Barely Lethal (TBA)

Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger II — The Green Destiny (TBA)

Kite (TBA)

Honorable mentions:

TACTICAL GIRLS

MAGPUL

GUNS AND GIRLS

COLD DEAD HANDS GUN GIRLS

GUNS AND LACE

GEAR GIRL

GEEK GIRLS WITH GUNS

HOT SHOTS

GUNS AND CAMO

SKIN AND GUNS

STEPHANIE HAYDEN

WOMEN OF ARMAGEDDON

MUNDO EXTREMO

ALEX SMITS’ GIRLS WITH GUNS

“Zero as a limit”

★★½

★★★½

★★½

★★★★ “Grimly fiendish yet effective killers’ romance.”

★½ “Putting the zero in Zero Woman”

★★½ “You just can’t get good henchmen these days.”

★★ “Game for just about anything, but mostly moping.”

★★★★ “One of the all-time classics of the women-in-prison genre.”

★★★½ “Out of the frying-pan and into the fire goes our heroine.”

★★★ “Because a baby is for life – even if the Yakuza think otherwise. “

★★★ “Can Sasori escape the hangman’s noose and live happily ever after?”

★★★ “Reset! Reset!”

★★★½ “And we bid a fond farewell to Nami, and a third different actress.”

“Z is for Zeiram”

Zeiram + Zeiram 2

★★★★½
“It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.”

★★★★
“Grimly fiendish yet effective killers’ romance.”

★½
“Putting the zero in Zero Woman”

★★½
“You just can’t get good henchmen these days.”

★★
“Game for just about anything, but mostly moping.”

★★★★
“One of the all-time classics of the women-in-prison genre.”

★★★½
“Out of the frying-pan and into the fire goes our heroine.”

★★★
“Because a baby is for life – even if the Yakuza think otherwise. “

★★★
“Can Sasori escape the hangman’s noose and live happily ever after?”

★★★
“Reset! Reset!”

★★★½
“And we bid a fond farewell to Nami, and a third different actress.”