Category: Feature

2015 in Action Heroine Films

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Looking back at last year’s preview, it’s interesting to note the hits, misses and no-shows from the films previewed there. Lucy and Maleficent performed above expectations, although both are still almost certain to be out-grossed handily before long (if not already!), by the third Hunger Games movie. On the other hand, Kite ended up basically going straight to video, and Resident Evil 6 has now been pushed all the way back to 2016, due to Milla Jovovich becoming pregnant again. So, take all of what follows with an appropriate pinch of “card subject to change,” wildly variable release dates and no guarantees, considering in some cases I’m going off a one-sentence synopsis on the IMDb.

barely lethalBarely Lethal (TBA)

Still no sign of this one, so let’s just copy paste from 2014! “A 16-year-old international assassin yearning for a “normal” adolescence fakes her own death and enrolls as a senior in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that being popular can be more painful than getting water-boarded.” I’m not sure who came up with that synopsis, but they likely deserve some first-hand experience of waterboarding. Cute title, even if it does feel rather too close to the lacklustre school plot from Kick-Ass 2. Chris will probably be up for this, since she thoroughly enjoyed director Kyle Newman’s Fanboys. Hailee Steinfeld plays the hit-teenager, Megan, and Jessica Alba is former employer Victoria Knox, who smells a rat and heads in pursuit. Samuel L. Jackson and Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones) are also involved.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend (August 28)

Another hangover from last year, we’re still eagerly anticipating this due to the directorial presence of Yuen Wo-Ping, and those in front of the cameras, Michelle Yeoh and Donnie Yen. The martial arts will kick ass, there seems little doubt. But will it pack the same emotional wallop of the original? There has been a twist to the distribution too, with the film being released simultaneously in cinemas and on Netflix (who are co-producers on the $60 million production), though some theatre chains are boycotting it as a result. AMC sniffily said in a press release, “No one has approached us to license this made-for-video sequel.” Their loss, I’d say.

The Godmother (TBA)

According to Wikipedia, Griselda Blanco was a drug lord of the Medellín Cartel and a pioneer in the Miami-based cocaine drug trade and underworld during the 1970s and early 1980s. She was also known as La Madrina, the Black Widow, the Cocaine Godmother and the Queen of Narco-Trafficking, After spending the best part of two decades in jail, she was deported back to Colombia in 2004, and was killed in a drive-by shooting in 2012. Now, there’s a movie being made about her life… starring Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones. Well, that’s an adventurous bit of casting, to say the least. I’ve seen pics of Blanco and Zeta-Jones didn’t come to mind, shall we say. Mind you, Al Pacino wasn’t Cuban either.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 (November 20)

Already filmed, having been shot back-to-back with part 1, it’s now just a question of how big this will be. The success of the first half should give us a clue, but this seems virtually certain to become the biggest action heroine film of all time, and could well be the first ever to take a billion dollars worldwide [Part 2 ended at $865 million, and the last part of, say, Harry Potter, a similarly two-part split, bumped its return up about 50% over its immediate predecessors]

Into the Forest (TBA)

“In the not too distant future, two young women who live in a remote ancient forest discover the world around them is on the brink of an apocalypse. Informed only by rumor, they fight intruders, disease, loneliness & starvation.” The two women are played by Ellen Page (Whip It) and Evan Rachel Wood, and it’s an adaptation of the novel by the same name, written by Jean Hegland.

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Jane Got a Gun (February 28)

Having apparently survived losing its director and chief villain Jude Law, the hits kept on coming, with the film also losing Law’s replacement Bradley Cooper, with Ewan McGregor coming on, in a reunion of sorts with heroine/co-producer Natalie Portman. However, that wasn’t enough to save the film in April from having its release date pushed back six months past the originally scheduled one of August. The month of February is not a great spot on the calendar, and one wonders if this will end up effectively being buried. The plot, in case you’d forgotten: “After her outlaw husband returns home shot with eight bullets and barely alive, Jane reluctantly reaches out to an ex-lover who she hasn’t seen in over ten years to help her defend her farm when her husband’s gang tracks him down to finish the job.”

Momentum (TBA)

During a carefully conceived heist, one of the participants, Alex (Olga Kurylenko, Kirot) witnesses of her colleagues being brutally murdered by a highly specialized international syndicate, who are in search of a key. As she attempts to escape the murder scene, she is spotted by the syndicate’s head, Mr. Washington, resulting in an ensuing chase and life or death situations as the unstoppable Alex fights for her life, as well as the lives of those at risk over this mysterious key and what it may open.

A Sexual Thriller (TBA)

Alexandra Duval (Luna Rioumina) is a beautiful, young, deadly assassin She has the training and disciplined grace of a nallerina coupled with the fortitude and lethality of a mighty warrior. She specializes in the ‘soft kill‘ – getting up close & personal with her targets – a black widow. But after she learns of a murder eerily similar to that of her fiance’s, she embarks on her quest to find those responsible for killing the love of her life.

Sicario (TBA)

Emily Blunt (shown below in Looper) stars, playing “A confident female cop [who] joins a secret CIA operation to take down a big Mexican cartel boss, a job that ends up pushing her ethical and moral values to the limit.” Other members of the cast include Benicio del Toro and Josh Brolin, and there’ll be some local interest for us here, with its Arizona setting – though the filming appears to have been in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Director Denis Villeneuve received plaudits for his earlier work, Prisoners, and I’m getting something of a No Country for Old Men vibe about this production – not just because of Brolin, but also cinematographer Roger Deakins – perhaps combined with cop TV series The Bridge [which, of course, was a remake of a Scandinavian show]

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Spy (May 22)

“Susan Cooper is an unassuming, deskbound CIA analyst, and the unsung hero behind the Agency’s most dangerous missions. But when her partner falls off the grid and another top agent is compromised, she volunteers to go deep undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer, and prevent a global disaster. ” This will be the third collaboration between director Paul Feig and star Melissa McCarthy, with the film also starring Rose Byrne, Jason Statham, Jude Law and – a favourite of both my wife and mine – Miranda Hart. One imagines this is more likely to be heavily skewed toward the comedy aspects rather than the action, but I’ll confess to a sneaking respect for McCarthy, the only decent thing about Bridesmaids [that was one of Chris’s movies!]

Suffragette (TBA)

A September release in the UK, no American release date yet. This “tracks the story of the foot soldiers of the early feminist movement, women who were forced underground to pursue a dangerous game of cat and mouse with an increasingly brutal State. These women were not primarily from the genteel educated classes, they were working women who had seen peaceful protest achieve nothing. Radicalized and turning to violence as the only route to change, they were willing to lose everything in their fight for equality – their jobs, their homes, their children and their lives.” The star is Carey Mulligan, best known perhaps for playing the heroine in Blink, the finest episode of Doctor Who.

survivorSurvivor (TBA)

So there may be no Resident Evil, but this one might give us our Milla Jovovich fix for the year. “A State Department employee newly posted to the American embassy in London is accused of crimes she didn’t commit, and forced to go on the run while she tries to clear her name and stop a large-scale terrorist attack set for New Year’s Eve in Times Square. ” It was filmed in the first quarter of this year (apparently when they say “on the run”, they mean it for Milla, as shown on the right), and I’m not sure why it’s apparently being sat on – there’s no US release date currently, but it’s listed as September 2015 in the Netherlands. The Director is James McTeigue, who did V for Vendetta and Ninja Assassin.

Tiger House (TBA)

High concept: “An injured gymnast must defend her boyfriend’s house from a gang of armed robbers.” Slightly-lower concept: “Kelly sneaks into her boyfriend’s house but tonight, she’s not the only unwelcome visitor. Now, she must draw on her reserves of strength and skills of dexterity to escape. As the situation spirals out of control, the suburban house becomes a terrifying arena for violence. ” Tagline: “12 hours. 4 killers. 1 way out.” Second quarter release scheduled for the UK, with Kaya Scodelario as the heroine, and Dougray Scott also present.

Z for Zachariah (TBA)

Another post-apocalyptic tale based on a novel – seems to be a trend for 2015 – though this one, by Robert C. O’Brien, dates back to the seventies. It starts Margot Robbie, who will also be Harley Quinn in the upcoming Marvel film, Suicide Squad. According to Variety, “The thriller follows a small-town girl (Robbie) who lives alone on a farm in the only valley with breathable air in the wake of nuclear war. Her world is turned upside down when two strangers wander in from the forest.” Chris Pine and Chiwetel Ejiofor also star, presumably as the two strangers mentioned.

Of Lagertha, valkyries and other Viking era warrior women

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“More cheery in battle, than chatting to suitors or taking the bench at a bridal feast.”

This isn’t “news”, in the sense that the research in question dates back about three years, but a link touting a “recent archaeological discovery” popped up from two separate, independent sources on my Facebook timeline recently. Part of me suspects some kind of publicity stunt for the History Channel’s Vikings series [season 3 in spring 2015!]. However, since that is actually a pretty good show, and we now have a shiny new platform to handle such things, let’s seize the chance to talk about some warrior women of the period, covering the era from the fall of the Roman empire to the Battle of Hastings – and, in particular, the most renowned of them all, Lagertha.

vikings9aThe key to the 2011 findings was the decision to determine the sex of buried Viking skeletons by analyzing the buried Viking skeletons. This may seem fairly basic to us laymen, but apparently, the previous technique involved deciding that if you were buried with a sword or shield. you were a man, and if you had a brooch, you were a woman. This led to the conclusion that Viking raiding parties were overwhelmingly male. However, a re-examination of 14 Norse burials, examining the bones rather than the contents alongside them, showed six were women, seven were men, and one was unable to be determined. This suggests, according to USA Today, that “Rather than the ravaging rovers of legend, the Vikings arrived as marriage-minded colonists.”

However, the article making the rounds leaps from the news that women were buried with weapons, to the more questionable conclusion, that “Half of the Warriors Were Female.” Even going beyond the fact that 14 corpses isn’t exactly a reliable sample size, being buried with weapons didn’t necessarily mean you were a warrior. Everything else, from their literature down, indicates the Vikings were an extremely patriarchal society, and there’s little or no supporting evidence to back the “50/50” claim in the clickbait title. This isn’t to say that strong, independent women didn’t exist in the time, just that they were very much the exception. We have previously written about Aethelflaed, but perhaps the most famous – with an assist by that Vikings series again! – was Lagertha, the first wife of legendary Norse ruler and hero Ragnar Lodbrok [Lothbrok in the show].

Lagertha

Most of what is known about Lagertha came from Scandinavian chronicler, Saxo Grammaticus, though he was writing in the 12th century, three centuries or so after the period where she apparently lived. While seen by modern Danes as their first national historian, as with some other “historical” writers, he was writing as much for entertainment value as the historical record, and seems to have had a bit of a reputation for embellishment. Still, I think I might have got on quite well with old Saxo, who seemed to be quite fond of warrior women. As well as Lagertha, in an earlier volume of his histories, he tells the story of Alfhild, a princess who “exchanged woman’s for man’s attire, and, no longer the most modest of maidens, began the life of a warlike rover.” That was Book VII, which also includes the following passage, a nice scene-setter for Lagertha’s saga.

There were once women among the Danes who dressed themselves to look like men, and devoted almost every instant of their lives to the pursuit of war, that they might not suffer their valour to be unstrung or dulled by the infection of luxury. For they abhorred all dainty living, and used to harden their minds and bodies with toil and endurance. They put away all the softness and light-mindedness of women, and inured their womanish spirit to masculine ruthlessness… These women, therefore (just as if they had forgotten their natural estate, and preferred sternness to soft words), offered war rather than kisses, and would rather taste blood than busses, and went about the business of arms more than that of amours. They devoted those hands to the lance which they should rather have applied to the loom. They assailed men with their spears whom they could have melted with their looks, they thought of death and not of dalliance.

Lagertha, called Ladgerda by Saxo, appears in Book IX, after Ragnar goes to Sweden to avenge the death of his grandfather, Siward. The perpetrator had turned Siward’s female relations into prostitutes; when freed, some, including Lagertha, joined Ragnar’s forces, for personal revenge. Saxo calls Largertha, “a skilled amazon, who, though a maiden, had the courage of a man, and fought in front among the bravest with her hair loose over her shoulders. All marvelled at her matchless deeds, for her locks flying down her back betrayed that she was a woman.” Her exploits caused Ragnar to fall for her, and after some wooing i.e. stabbing her guard-bear – the pair were married. None of the above is mentioned in Vikings, but it covers their later divorce, and her steadfast loyalty, coming to Ragnar’s aid in his greatest need. Her “matchless spirit though a delicate frame” turned the course of a battle; the last we hear, she went home and killed her second husband, because Lagertha “thought it pleasanter to rule without her husband than to share the throne with him.”

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The “island girl”

Another historian, Procopius, in his recounting of the Gothic war of the mid sixth century AD, tells of a girl from Britain – known only as the “island girl”, who was betrothed to Radigis, a prince of the Varni tribe from Northern Germany. However, for political reasons, Radigis ended up jilting the island girl and marrying his stepmother instead. His British fiancee was not impressed:

But when the betrothed of Radigis learned this, she could not bear the indignity of her position and undertook to secure revenge upon him for his insult to her… She took up the duties of a man and proceeded to deeds of war. She accordingly collected four hundred ships immediately and put on board them an army of not fewer than one hundred thousand fighting men, and she in person led forth this expedition against the Varni.

When Radigis was eventually captured, “He stood before her eyes trembling and expecting to die instantly by the most cruel death; she, however, contrary to his expectations, neither killed him nor inflicted any other harm upon him, but by way of reproaching him for his insult to her, enquired of the fellow why in the world he had made light of the agreement and allied himself to another woman.” The prince explained it was purely due to political expediency, and offered to fulfill his original commitment. The island girl accepted, and the pair apparently lived happily ever after – or, at least, I’d like to think so, since Procopius made no further mention of them.

Hervor

A character  from the saga cycle telling of the magic sword Tyrfing, Hervor was perhaps the baddest of the Viking badasses – her father Angantyr was killed in a duel, which may explain her wild childhood. She is described as being “as strong as the boys” and it’s said that “as soon as she could do anything for herself, she trained more with shot and shield and sword than sewing or embroidery.” She certainly had a particularly venomous approach to teenage rebellion: “When these things were forbidden to her, she ran into the woods and killed men for their money.” In terms of badassdom, that certainly beats yelling “I hate you!” and running off to sulk in your bedroom, I suppose.

Brought up by the local Jarl (chief), her maternal grandfather, when she eventually discovered her true heritage, she headed out into the world, dressed as a man, to seek Angantyr’s treasure. She joined forces with some Vikings, and when their captain died, took over the ship. They went to seek treasure on the isle of Samsey, but none of crew would land due to the place’s reputation: “such evil things walk there night and day, that it’s worse in the daytime, than most places are at night.” Hervor went on her own, called out the spirit of Angantyr and more or less badgered him into handing over Tyrfing. But she had to make her own way back, as when she returned to the coast, the supernatural shenanigans had scared away all her Viking crew.

Acquiring the sword didn’t make Hervor any less touchy, however. While hanging out at the court of Godmund, a king in Jotunheim, someone picked up and drew Tyrfing, when Hervor was given the king some tactical advice during a game of chess. She killed him for it. Others at the court wanted to take revenge, but the king recommend they settle down, saying, “There won’t be as much vengeance in that one as you think, because you don’t know who it is. This woman will cost you dear before you take her life.” But, eventually, even Hervor grew tired of warfare and raiding, and went back home, developing a fondness for more traditional pursuits such as weaving and embroidery. She eventually married Godmund’s son, Hofund – but her father’s concerns about giving her Tyrfing proved well-founded, as one of their children, Heidrek, used it to slay another son in a fit of rage.

When he grew up, Heidrek named his daughter Hervor, and she wasn’t much less a bad-ass than her grandmother, becoming a shieldmaiden, and commanding a Gothic fort. She fell in battle against the Huns, and when the news (also describing Hervor with the sentence atop this article) was reported to her half-brother who had become king, he replied, “Óbróðurliga vartu leikin, in ágæta systir,” which translates as “Unbrotherly the bloody game they played with you, excellent sister.”

800px-The_Ride_of_the_Valkyrs‘Ride of the Valkyries’ by John Charles Dollman [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Concerning Valkyries, and their rides

Finally, it would be remiss not to mention the Valkyries, simply due to their being entirely legendary, although they were less warriors directly than “choosers of the slain.” That’s what their collective name translates as, and the Valkyries picked about half of those killed in battle, to go to Valhalla for an all-you-can-drink buffet of mead with Odin, until the apocalyptic events from Norse lore, known as Ragnarök. [In case you’re wondering, those not chosen still get a consolation prize, instead hanging out with Freya in her eternal meadow, Fólkvangr. No word on mead availability there]

If not inclined to wield swords themselves, they didn’t mess around. Chapter 157 of the Icelandic saga, The Story of Burnt Njal, tells of a man called Daurrud, who spied on the Valkyries as they prepared for the Battle of Clontarf, fought outside what is now Dublin in 1014. They were weaving- but not any old weaving, to  decide who would live and die in the upcoming fight.

This woof is y-woven
With entrails of men,
This warp is hardweighted
With heads of the slain,
Spears blood-besprinkled
For spindles we use,
Our loom ironbound,
And arrows our reels;
With swords for our shuttles
This war-woof we work;
So weave we, weird sisters,
Our warwinning woof.

Yep, that’s some pretty damn hardcore handicraft. Brunhilde (more properly, Brynhildr) is the best known individual Valkyrie, thanks mostly to Richard Wagner. [The phrase, “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings,” was largely inspired by her character in Götterdämmerung, whose final aria leads to the opera’s end – and, indeed, the end of the Norse gods.] However, there were a lot more of them – Wikipedia lists almost forty, with names that appears to be descriptive of temperament and/or ability. There’s Geirdriful (“spear-flinger”), Eir (“mercy”), Skalmöld (“sword-time”), etc.

However, for those who ever played Gauntlet – and many a Sunday afternoon was wasted by me down the student union in the mid-80’s doing just that! – their Valkyrie, Thyra, was not named after one, but the wife of the first recognized Danish king, Gorm. There are reports she led an army against the Germans, but I haven’t been able to locate specifics of that. However, our old pal Saxo Grammaticus tells us, Thyra “would not marry him till she had received Denmark as a dowry,” which is certainly playing hardball in negotiations.

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"A skilled amazon, who, though a maiden, had the courage of a man, and fought in front among the bravest with her hair loose over her shoulders."
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Girls With Guns Calendars 2015

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Welcome to our fifth annual round-up of girls with guns calendars! This year brings the return of some old friends, but there are also some new entries to be considered. Below, you’ll find prices, sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more as we find them, since there’s still three months left in the year…

TACGIRLS

TacGirls.com – $18.00

“The Tactical Girls® 2015 gun calendar starts in January of 2015 and brings you 13 months of hot girls with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. It includes gun specifications and trivia from military, law enforcement and firearms history and, of course, the beautiful Tactical Girls Calendar Girls. Fill that 12″ x 24″ empty space on your Man Cave, garage, barracks or tent wall with 13 months of Girls With Guns. The 2015 Tactical Girls Calendar includes the Drake Stalker .50 BMG Sniper Rifle, the Kel-Tec RFB Battle Rifle, and the FNP-45 Tactical Pistol. Also a first for this year, we have an AT4 Anti-Tank Weapon! along with a variety of belt fed machine guns, battle rifles, AR platforms and pistols all with gorgeous models in realistic settings”

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WOMEN OF ARMAGEDDON

WomenOfArmageddon.com – $TBA

This is one of those entries which is still in preparation at this point, but creator Michael Zinn was kind enough to send us the sneak pic on the right, as a teaser for what is to come. You can also check out the site, or indeed, take a look at our interview with Michael from earlier in the year, to get an idea of the concept and execution. Credit-cards at the ready…

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LIBERTY BELLES

via MilSpecMonkey.com – $18.00

“A quick glance at the world of special operations military forces from a bikini clad tactical perspective. The sexy women of Liberty Belles pay homage to special operations military forces within the US Navy, US Air Force, US Marine Corps, and US Army. The woman of Liberty Belles are adorned in tactical gear and custom fit bikini uniforms to showcase anyone from US Navy Seals, to US Army Rangers. Twelve months of pure action that specializes in portraying female tactical operators from an ultra-sexy perspective. 12 Months with bonus pull out poster! 12″x9″ folds out to 12″ x 18″”

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GUNS & LACE

GunsandLace.com – $14.99

“The Mayans fell short when it came to putting sexy in their calendar! On your office, living room, garage, or gun library wall, you will love keeping track of the days with this beautiful 2015 Guns and Lace Calendar that features 12 of the hottest girl shooters around. Did we mention they are cradling the latest in hot and collectible firearms!?”

MTKL

MTKLCalendar.com – $15.00

The world’s first Israeli army women calendar! Having scoured the ranks of the powerful Israeli army, MTKL has created a wall calendar which brings together a collection of the chosen amongst the chosen people, REAL women soldiers of the IDF. This calendar features stunning images of real Israeli soldier women, showing a side of Israelis the world rarely sees; attractive, egalitarian, and unapologetic. MTKL 2015 is a 12″x12″ wall hanging calendar printed on premium quality paper. Built to last.

BIG TIME ARMAMENTS BABES

via Zazzle – $22.10

 

HOT SHOTS 2015

HotShotsCalendar.com/ – $14.99

Now in its eighth year the iconic Hot Shots Calendar has returned to its military roots to celebrate the brave jobs our armed forces undertake unselfishly, day in, day out. As always our main aim is to raise money and awareness for Wounded Veteran Charities in the UK and the USA while at the same time showcasing the industry’s latest, cutting edge military equipment, as well as some classic items from years gone by. The unique outfits you see have again been exclusively designed by Caleb Crye.

Shot this year on location in Salt Lake City, USA, it’s with great pride that we welcome back legends Rosie Jones, Kelly Hall and Daisy Watts as well as introducing the new girls. From Denmark, Zienna Eve; from the USA, Cindy Prado; from the UK, Lauren Rhodes; and from Wales, UK, Hot Shots Top Gun Competition Winner Jessica Davies.

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GUNS AND CAMO

GunsAndCamo.com – $13.95

“This hunting calendar hits the target. Guns and Camo features beautiful camo clad ladies in a variety of hunting locations that appeal to hunters everywhere.” One of the veterans of the field, this is their 10th year of production.

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GUNS AND GIRLS CALENDAR 2015

gunsandgirlscalendar.com – $19.99

  • 16 month
  • Poster Size 17″x 28″ when hung up
  • Printed on high quality art paper
  • Includes bonus 12 month poster!
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GRIFFON INDUSTRIES GIRLS & GUNS CALENDAR 2015

Griffon Industries.com

Only available to pre-order at this point, and with an expected shipping date of December 24, I wouldn’t be inclined to rely on delivery for Christmas, if you’re getting it as a gift… The site also mentions a limited edition, NFSW version. No pics of that, teasing bastards!

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GIRLS WITH GUNS 2015 CALENDAR

Cannon Valley Trading – $25.00

Not sure if the price is in Australian Dollars, for this may be our first calendar from Down Under, where women glow and men plun… Er, you get the idea. Anyway, according to the creators, this was “photographed in Melbourne with 100% Aussie girls. Very tastefully done with girls in Bikini holding a handgun or rifle.” They add, with typically dry Aussie wit, that, “This is a calendar you can hang up in the shed and the wife probably won’t be that worried about it.”

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HENS ‘N’ GUNS

via their Facebook page – £13 each inc p+p [in the UK]

This one’s a little different – more in line with the idea of Calendar Girls, if you saw that movie, with a selection of women, in all shapes and sizes, posing (tastefully!) nude with their weapons. All proceeds go to the Pancreatic Cancer Research Foundation, so you’ll also be helping raise funds for a worthwhile cause.

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Kate Bush, Action Heroine

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katebush4It remains a matter of some small pride that the first album (kids, ask your parents!) I ever bought, was Kate Bush’s The Kick Inside. Unlike some artists from my days as a callow youth, she has stood the test of time very, very well, and over three decades later, despite many wannabes over time (coughToriAmoscough), there has still been no-one like her. I’ve been on a bit of a Kate Bush revival of late, inspired by her current return to live performance in London, after a gap of 35 years. Reviewing her work, both aural but particularly, the visual, I get the sense she had some action heroine tendencies of her own.

James and the Cold Gun

“It’s hot and sandy, the land is old and dry. Here rides a man with a sheet of ice by his side.”  Those lines were penned by Bush to accompany the sheet music for the song from her debut LP. I always presumed that it was inspired by James Bond, but that doesn’t seem to have been the case, Kate saying in an interview when asked if it referred to anyone in particular, “The answer is: nobody. When I wrote the song, James was the right name for it.” Her record company wanted this to be her first single, but Bush held out for Wuthering Heights. Good call, I suspect: this is a great deal more conventional, but lacks the drop-dead, “what the f—?” impact of Heights.

Still, Gun got its moment in the sun. An extended version of the song, over eight minutes long, became the show-stopper for the third and final act of her first, and until this week, only live tour in 1979, demonstrating the mix of music, ballet, mime and theatre in which she has been interested since the very beginning. Reviewing the show, The Guardian wrote “The erotically charged denouement of James and the Cold Gun depicted her as a murderous gunslinger, spraying gunfire – actually ribbons of red satin – over the stage.” Ok, I’m sold. Here’s the sequence in question, taken from the live VHS, so apologies for the mediocre quality – why it has never been re-released on DVD escapes me. Now would seem the perfect time…

Babooshka

Her third album, Never For Ever, gave us one of the most iconic images of her career, as part of the video for Babooshka, a song about a woman who adopts a second identity to test her husband’s fidelity – only for it to be found wanting. In it, Kate adopts two personae, the staid wife, clad entirely in black, and with a veil, and the alter ego, who is dressed in a way much more befitting the heroine of a sword-and-sorcery novel. Which is not surprising, because the style was inspired by drawing from renowned illustrator Chris Achilleos. It wasn’t his first brush with the music industry, as the previous year, he gave the world the controversial cover for the Whitesnake LP Lovehunter, with a naked woman straddling a giant snake

This work was positively subtle in comparison, originally for the first book in the Raven, Swordmistress of Chaos series by “Richard Kirk” – actually a pseudonym for two writers, and not the noted industrial musician. Bush’s take, along with designer Pamela Keat, was somewhat more modest, as you can see in the side-by-side below. But I was fourteen when the song came out, and can still remember watching the video for the first time. My picture can be found in the dictionary to this day, beside the word “gobsmacked.” :)

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The Wedding List

Kate was always extraordinarily well-versed in culture, right from Wuthering Heights: how many 18-year-olds can pepper a song with a sly reference to Armenian philsopher George Gurdjieff? But bonus points have to be awarded for her being inspired by a French girls with guns film even I haven’t seen, Francois Truffaut’s The Bride Wore Black. One of Truffaut’s contemporaries, Jean-Luc Godard is often credited with saying “All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun” (he was actually quoting D.W. Grifiths), and Truffaut’s film is a fine example. It stars Jeanne Moreau as a widow, who hunts down and kills the men responsible for the death of her husband on their wedding day.

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It seems a clear influence on Kill Bill, even down to the “Bride” crossing of her victims’ names in a notebook. Quentin Tarantino denies having seen it, but then he professed unfamiliarity with City on Fire too. But the best part of a quarter-century earlier, Kate Bush took inspiration from Truffaut for another song on Never For Ever, about a wronged woman who seeks vengeance on her spouse’s murderer – in a particularly Bushian (Bushesque?) twist for additional tragedy points, the widow commits suicide, and is then found to be pregnant. Here’s a sample of the lyrics.

Now, as I’m coming for you, all I see is Rudi.
I die with him, again and again, and I’ll feel good in my revenge.
I’m gonna fill your head with lead and I’m coming for you!
And when it’s all over you’ll roll over the butt of my gun:
One in your belly, and one for Rudi.
You got what you gave by the heel of my bootie.
Bang-bang–Out! like an old cherootie,
And I’m coming for you…

Damn. Kate and the Cold Gun, indeed. While this was never released as a single, it was one of the songs which formed part of her 1979 Christmas special for the BBC, from which the image above is taken, and which is available, with a little searching online. There’s almost an old West feeling to the version here, along the lines of Hannie Caulder – amusingly, the target for her vengeance is played by Kate’s brother, Paddy. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and track down a copy of The Bride Wore Black. For now, here’s the trailer.

Running up That Hill

But before I got, mostly as an aside. Kate’s fifth release, Hounds of Love, is considered by many fans to be her best, and certainly, contains some of her most memorable songs. Running would be one of them, and remains to this day, her most successful song in the United States. The theme here is, how many relationship issues would be solved, if the people involved could just swap places and see things from the other person’s perspective. Not quite sure how the archery motif seen on the sleeve fits into that, but I note that the gesture of drawing a bow is also seen multiple times in the video for the song. It may be another reference to The Bride Wore Black, as the heroine does wield a bow during her quest for revenge.

katebush3akatebush3

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair, on its 10th anniversary

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KillBill_TWBA_DarthSolo_3D2★★★★½
“It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.”

Today marks the 10th anniversary for the release in the United States of Kill Bill, Volume 2, completing the saga of The Bride and her quest for vengeance over the man who stole her daugher, killed her husband at the altar and left her in a coma. In honour of this date, we watched the assembled compilation known as Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair. While this has never officially been released – despite regular claims by Quentin Tarantino that he was about to start work on it – the New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles was allowed to show it in March and April 2011, its second public screening since the Cannes Film Festival of 2004 (there was one at the Alamo Drafthouse).

This helped lead to bootleg editions circulating through the usual sources online, where fans edited the previously-released versions together, to simulate Tarantino’s vision as closely as possible. Of course, these aren’t perfect, if QT’s claims of an extended anime sequence are to be believed. But I’m not inclined to wait around any longer – it’s entirely his own fault I still have not bought a copy of either film, even though they are certainly iconic in our genre. So, how does the combined version play? And a decade after the saga came to its bloody conclusion, does the story still hold up? [Note. This will be less a standard review than a series of feelings.  If you want a review, I refer you to the ones written at the time for Volume 1 and Volume 2.  I suppose I should also insert a spoiler warning for the rest of this piece. Though if anyone reading this hasn’t seen both films already, you pretty much deserve to be spoilered!]

killbill1In terms of content, there isn’t much alteration, with the only real change, a small but significant cut at the end of Volume 1. What’s removed, is Bill’s line, “Is she aware her daughter is still alive?” This means neither audience nor heroine know this, until she shows up at Bill’s house for the final confrontation. [I have to say, her daughter certainly doesn’t seem like a four-year old either.] Rather than substance, the biggest difference for me was stylistic: the overall balance seemed more even, as a single entity, than seen as two separate pieces months apart. Volume 2 seemed excessively talky on its own. While that’s still the case, it’s to a significantly lesser degree, being balanced directly by the first half, where The Bride engages in actions, not words. Indeed, the only person she kills in the second part is Bill, a sharp contrast to the pile of corpses left in her wake during its predecessor. His death still feels somewhat rushed, and it’s a shame the original ending – a swordfight between Bill and Beatrix, clad in her wedding dress, on the beach – couldn’t be filmed, because the production went over time.

My viewing of the film now is also altered, by having seen over the intervening decade, more of the movies which had influenced Quentin, in particular Lady Snowblood and Thriller: A Cruel Picture. I’ve not been a particular fan of this aspect of Tarantino’s work, since the whole City on Fire/Reservoir Dogs thing; I find it gets in the way of enjoying his films, if you’re frequently being reminded of other movies. This kind of homage still works better when it’s slid in more subtly, for example Vernita Green’s pseudonym for her new life being Jeanne Bell, likely a reference to the actress who was the star of the 70’s blaxploitation pic, T.N.T. Jackson. [And, of course, Green’s daughter is called Nikita…] I have to say, QT’s foot fetish seems a lot more blatant now than it did at the time. The most obvious case is when The Bride is trying to regain control of her toes in the back of the Pussy Wagon, but Sofie Fatale’s feet also come in for some attention. Again, perhaps subsequent knowledge plays into the viewing experience.

10 Favourite Lines from The Whole Bloody Affair

  • Vernita Green: Black Mamba. I shoulda been motherfuckin’ Black Mamba.
  • O-Ren Ishii: The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is… I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time!
  • The Bride: Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.
  • The Bride: This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas! Go home to your mother!
  • The Bride: I want them all to know they’ll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.
  • Budd: That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
  • Pai Mei: What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?
  • Elle Driver: I killed your master. And now I’m gonna kill you too, with your own sword, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become my sword.
  • The Bride: Before that strip turned blue, I would have jumped a motorcycle onto a speeding train… for you. But once that strip turned blue, I could no longer do any of those things. Not anymore. Because I was going to be a mother.
  • Bill: You’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt.

killbill2What hasn’t changed is the sheer, unadulterated awesomeness of the fights, as jaw-droppingly brutal and intense as they were ten years ago. Yuen Wo-Ping certainly cements his position as the most inventive and effective martial arts choreographer in history. Though this version has the entire House of Blue Leaves fight in colour, the arterial spray becomes so obviously excessive, as to reduce its overall impact. Much love must also now go to someone barely known at the time, now carving out her own niche: stuntwoman and Thurman double: Zoë Bell. Bonus fun is now had, watching the battles and going, “Zoë… Zoë… Uma… Zoë… Uma… Zoë.” [That’s probably fairly close to the correct ratio!] The anime sequence depicting O-Ren Ishii’s early years is still fabulous and lush, revenge foreshadowing The Bride’s. You can see why, in 2006, Tarantino floated the idea of further films in a similar style, telling of Bill’s and Beatrix’s origins. Although, like all the other Kill Bill sequels he has floated over the years, Quentin’s mouth appears to be moving much faster than any actual production.

The combined version does probably run about 30 minutes too long, with Volume 2 in particular need of tightening up. It doesn’t so much reach a climax, as approach it as a limit. Bill’s burbling on about comic-book superheroes is one of those cases where Tarantino’s voice becomes louder than that of his characters (see the first half of Death Proof for a long, drawn-out example of this, perhaps the most self-indulgent dialogue in a filmography largely driven by self-indulgent dialogue). I also remain somewhat skeptical in regard to the deliberate misorder of Beatrix’s revenge. O-Ren Ishii is the first actually killed, according to The Bride’s list, yet we begin with her encountering Vernita Green. While that made some sense when the film was in two volumes, providing a spectacular encounter to end the first half, that’s less the case here. I’ve never found a satisfactory explanation for quite why Green wasn’t simply #1 on the list. But I guess, messing up the timeline is just what Tarantino does.

However, let’s cut to the chase – with the elegance of a pissed-off bride wielding a Hattori Hanzo sword. This remains one of the finest examples of action heroine cinema to come out of mainstream Hollywood, and arguably, hasn’t been matched in the ten years since. And it’s not purely for The Bride: O-Ren, Vernita, Elle and GoGo all deserve acknowledgement as memorable characters, any of whom could stand on their own. Even as someone who can generally take or leave most of Tarantino’s directorial work – I think he’s a better screenwriter – I can’t deny what he crafted here is an undeniable, four-hour classic of the genre.

“The lioness has rejoined her cub, and all is right in the jungle.”

Gallery: Volume 1

"Beats up 2003′s other Hollywood action heroines, the lame Tomb Raider and Charlie’s Angels sequels, without even breaking a sweat."

Gallery: Volume 2

"When this film works, it does so extremely well, with moments – and a good number of more lengthy sequences – that are just about perfect."

The Women of Game of Thrones

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danerys

“All men must die. But we are not men…” — Daenerys Targaryen

We don’t have HBO, so were late getting into Game of Thrones, only starting to watch it after I accidentally stumbled across a copy [let’s just say, it had Chinese subtitles…]. Being tardy has its benefits: we could binge watch our way through multiple episodes, and I’m wondering how we’ll cope having to join the masses for Season 4, rationed to one episode per week. And it appears we were not alone: it’s one of the rare cases were a show has grown much more popular over time. The first ever episode was watched by only 2.22 million people on HBO. The second season opened 74% higher, at 3.86 million, and by the time the third series ended, viewing figures all the way up at 5.39 million. This mirrors the pattern of the books by George R.R. Martin on which the series is based: the first wasn’t a hit at all on its publication in 1991. But by the end of July 2011, he had five books in the New York Times top 20 bestsellers for fiction.

It’s utterly addictive, and populated with any number of great characters; indeed, some kind of scorecard would probably help in the early going, to keep track of who is marrying, supporting, invading or killing whom. Perhaps the outstanding aspect for me is the way  characters are nuanced, something especially noteworthy for the villainous. Even as they are committing heinous acts, you usually understand the reasons why they’re doing them. If you may not agree with the purpose to which they are aimed, you can see the justification. Well, except for boy-king Joffrey. He’s just a little shit, who has somehow managed to avoid the claws of the grim reaper. And speaking of which, another defining factor of the series is: anyone can die, at any time. No matter how beloved, Mr. Martin does not care. You can traumatize any GoT fan by sidling up to them and whispering two words in their ear: “Red Wedding.” I’ll say no more than that.

“The more people you love, the weaker you are.”  — Cersei Lannister

04CerseiLannisterIt certainly is a show ‘for mature viewers,’ containing its fair share of violence and sex, which has naturally led to the usual accusations of the usual misogyny from the usual sources. I don’t think the reality is anywhere near as simple as this, not least because the creators are pretty much equal opportunity when it comes to character abuse. Sure, sexual assault is skewed towards the women; decapitation, on the other hand, is pretty much a male preserve. No-one gets out unscathed: man, woman, child or wolf. There’s also an obvious difference between depiction and endorsement. And it’d be kinda ludicrous to have a medieval-styled fantasy world, operating as some kind of anarcho-syndicalist commune, where people take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting. Boring as shit, too.

Indeed, perhaps the oppressive world is a seed for the admirable number of strong female characters, which likely surpasses just about any other show on television these days. If you’re a man, you can be remarkably stupid and still do well in the GoT world, as long as you are fairly good at hitting people: Exhibit A, Jon Snow. As a woman, if you’re dumb, you learn quickly, or you don’t survive. If you’re weak, you don’t survive. Since you generally don’t have the option of direct physical force, other means must be found to bend others to do your will. This need not be malicious: Catelyn, matriarch of the Stark family, used family ties and other appeals to loyalty to amass her army. Others are less high-minded; to quote Cersei Lannister, “Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs.” And make no mistake, some of the ladies in GoT are perfectly willing to use it, as part of their arsenal of tools.

But only some, for the variety of characters on offer here is another delight, from whores to high priestesses, queens to barbarians (even barbarian queens!), five foot short to six foot three tall, ages nine to eighty and everywhere in between. As the fourth season starts up on Sunday, here are our ten favorites ladies in the Game of Thrones universe to date – in increasing order of action heroineiness. Note: I’ll try and avoid major spoilers – for example, which if any of these are no longer alive! – but where these are necessary to illuminate a character, I’m not going to shy away from them.

“Some day I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.” — Arya Stark

10. Shae

In terms of social climbing, few can surpass Shae’s ascent. She started off as a prostitute following the Lannister army, but caught the eye of Tyrion Lannister (our most beloved character thanks to Peter Dinklage’s portrayal, the self-proclaimed “god of tits and wine”) and became his exclusively – she even convinced Tyrion to defy his father and bring her to the capital. There, she now serves as a handmaiden and confidant to Sansa Stark, the one-time potential queen of the realm. Yep, Shae has come a long way.

9. Olenna Tyrell

While certainly “veteran presence,” we mentioned above that you don’t survive in this world without being smart and tough. So her lengthy tenure at the heart of court politics testifies to both, as does her nickname, the ‘Queen of Thorns.’ In many way, she’s the real head of House Tyrell, despite marrying into it, rather than through her birth. Besides, we couldn’t omit any character played by Diana Rigg, who was not just the only Mrs. James Bond (in O.H.M.S.S.), but one of the all-time GWG icons, Emma Peel.

8. Melisandre

If there’s one thing more disturbing than your average religious zealot, it’s a religious zealot, with supernatural powers, who burns people alive. That would be Melisandre, a Red Priestess of the Lord of Light, a religion that has found devotees in House Baratheon, and who has an absolute conviction in her faith, to go along with her abilities of prophecy. You get the sense there’s a lot more to her than has been seen to date, but anyone capable of giving birth to shadows that kill on command, is clearly someone to be treated with respect.

“Death by fire is the purest death” — Melisandre

07ygritte7. Ygritte

A free woman from north of the massive wall which protects the bulk of Westeros from… things, shall we say. Life up there is even more brutal, and her survival skills have helped both her and Jon Stark, with whom she has a relationship best described as “complex.” Like others from her society, she possesses a fierce independence, and her loyalty is not easily won. She has an instinctive grasp of the best way to achieve her ends, and will ruthlessly exploit any weakness. If that fails – well, there’s always her trusty bow.

6. Catelyn Stark

At first, she was a dutiful and supportive wife to husband Eddard, but Lady Stark was thrust to the front following his appointment as the King’s Hand, which eventually led to his execution after the death of the current king. As the country collapses into civil war, she strives to be reunited with her children, rallies forces against those responsible for Eddard’s death, and acts as an adviser to her son Robb, who is heading the army they have raised. Balancing these various ends is a perilous task, to say the least.

5. Yara Greyjoy

After a previous rebellion was suppressed, the Greyjoy scion, Theon, was sent off as a hostage to live with the winners, to ensure his family’s future compliance,. This forced his sister, Yara, to step into the breach and become a son by proxy, commanding her own longship and leading her men as they pillage nearby territories. To quote her father: “She’s commanded men. She’s killed men. And she knows who she is.” That’s more than Theon does, completely failing to recognize the hard-ass she has become, when he returns, after almost a decade away.

4. Cersei Lannister

Cersei is played by another solid action heroine, Lena Headey having been Queen Gorgo in 300, as well as the title role in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Her character is responsible for the show’s title, saying, “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.” And Cersei Lannister has no intention of dying, being a grand mistress at the arts of scheming, manipulation and intrigue towards her goals. Her son Joffrey is technically on the throne of Westeros, but there’s little doubt who is wielding the actual power there.

“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.” — Cersei Lannister

3. Arya Stark

We’re in the top tier now, and despite Arya’s youth, she undeniably deserves her position up here. Virtually the first time we see her, she’s spurning her embroidery lesson to out-shoot her brothers, and that sets the tone for her character. Per Wikipedia, “She rejects the notion that she must become a lady and marry for influence and power, showing no interest in the womanly arts of dancing, singing, and sewing; instead she revels in fighting and exploring.” Her father, Eddard, eventually admits defeat in this area, and hires a swordmaster to give her lessons in “sticking ’em with the pointy end,” an art in which Arya proves adept.

She goes with Eddard when he travels to take up his position as the King’s Hand, but when that goes pear-shaped, she’s thrown back entirely on to her own resources, with her sword, ‘Needle’. Disguising herself as a boy to avoid some of the dangers of life alone, she starts back to her family’s castle in the North. That plan is derailed and she ends up embedded deep in the enemy’s camp, acting as cupbearer to Tywin, the head of House Lannister, before escaping. At the end of the third season, Arya killed her first man, stabbing him repeatedly in the back of his neck. It’s not going to be her last, that’s for sure.

02brienne2. Brienne of Tarth

The only child of her lord father, Brienne is bigger and stronger than most men [Gwendoline Christie, who plays her, is 6’3″ in real life, so no need for orange boxes or forced perspective there!], and we first see her winning a tournament against male opponents. This gains her entry in to the Kingsguard of Renly Baratheon, but after his assassination, she is blamed for Renly’s death and has to flee the camp, vowing to take revenge on the real instigator – who would be #8, Melisandre. Brienne swears loyalty to Catelyn Stark, and is given the mission of taking captive Jamie Lannister back to King’s Landing, where he can be exchanged for Catelyn’s daughters. That journey forces both Brienne and Jamie to face uncomfortable truths, and they develop a mutual respect.

Characters in the show are very much shaded in grey, but Brienne is perhaps the closest to being purely good, holding to a chivalric ideal of knighthood, likely more rooted in fantasy than the harsh realities of life. She has managed to hold on to her idealism, despite never being accepted by her fellow knights, or society in general: her position as a warrior woman renders her a perpetual outsider to both groups. In one of the books, she says she was “the only child the gods let [my father] keep. The freakish one, one not fit to be son or daughter.” A great character, beloved beyond the screen time she has received, and I’d love to see a spinoff series, focusing on Brienne.

1. Daenerys Targaryen

The Targaryen clan used to be the rulers of Westeros, but her father was overthrown, leaving Daenerys and her brother Viserys surviving out on the edge of civilization. Viserys still plots to regain the throne, and to this end, arranges a marriage of his sister to a barbarian warlord, Khal Drogo, hoping to use Drogo’s army. Drogo dies after a wound sustained in battle becomes infected, and most of his tribe abandon their queen. However, at this low point, Daenerys discovers her destiny, walking into her husband’s funeral pyre, only to emerge unscathed. Indeed, she succeeds in hatching three supposedly inert dragon eggs given to her as a wedding present, resurrecting a species much feared in their time, yet considered extinct for centuries. The ‘Mother of Dragons’ is on her way back up…

Having not read the books when I watched the series, my initial reaction was that Viserys would be the focus, and Daenerys little more than eye-candy, a bribe used to give her sibling leverage, who’d rapidly be sidelined. Boy, was I wrong. From a chattel, she has steadily ascended the ladder of power, first winning her husband, then his clan, and building upon that, with some help from her little fire-breathers, to become a potential force to be reckoned with. While she is still sidelined – Daenerys hasn’t even set foot on Westeros through three seasons – it’s only a matter of time before she returns at the head of an army, fanatically devoted to her. How do you like your soldiers cooked? Medium-well?

She hasn’t forgotten where she came from either, and has a zero-tolerance policy for those who oppress others. Daenerys has gone from, “I don’t want to be his Queen. I want to go home,” to “Slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child. Strike the chains off every slave you see!” That’s what I call a character arc. But I do have to wonder what the future holds for her, because we should remember, her father was nick-named “The Mad King” by his subjects in Westeros, for good reason, and Viserys wasn’t exactly stable or sane. Let’s hope the insanity skips a generation: it’d waste one of the strongest and most memorable female characters on TV this decade

“We will lay waste to armies, and burn cities to the ground.” — Daenerys Targaryen

10. Shae
9. Olenna Tyrell
8. Melisandre
7. Ygritte
6. Catelyn Stark
5. Yara Greyjoy
4. Cersei Lannister
3. Anya Stark
2. Brienne of Tarth
1. Danerys Targaryen

Behind The Women of Armageddon

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manidbannerThe Woman of Armageddon is a sci-fi/action crossbreed, taking elements from both action heroine and post-apocalypse genres. Initially created as the basis for a 2012 calendar, now in its third year, the idea has expanded, under the loving care of its creator, Michael Zinn. Zinn took time off from arranging Doomsday, to speak to GWG.org about the end of the world, as he knows it.

For those who don’t know, high concept Women of Armageddon for us.

Women of Armageddon is a (beautiful) vision of an alternate future. “What if the world ended, and only beautiful women were left?”

What’s your background and artistic influences?

Well, I am a computer geek at heart, but when I was in college, everything was lumped into “computer science ” and there was no such thing as Photoshop. I changed my direction, and ended up at the Hartford Art School as a photography major. By the time I left, computers had started doing graphics and I was able to combine my passions.. As far as influences, well, some artists that definitely inspired me are Boris Valejo – as a matter of fact it was his fantasy artwork calendars that directly inspired the look and colors of 2013. I’m also a big H.R. Giger fan. Another big influence is scifi movie posters as wel as “sexploitation” movie posters like Barbarella; two movies that had a specific influence on this project are Planet of the Apes and Mad Max

Where did the idea come from?

Imagine Mad Max meets the Sports Illustrated Swimwear Calendar. The idea originated in 2011, with the prophecies of impending doom in 2012 and the hype of the world ending… possibly on Dec 21, 2012. It was a spoof in my head. A mash up of the Mad Max costumes and women who had the time apparently, to do their makeup and retain their femininity… But it soon evolved to represent women more as a symbol of strength and survival.

_MG_3852Was there a particular type of Armageddon in mind?

Actually, yes and no… The original calendar had a few concepts tossed around. One was that each month would represent a different Armageddon: zombies, aliens, biochemical warfare, natural disaster, nuclear war, etcetera. Another concept was going to be Armageddon around the world, using Landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Empire State building, Wall of China, Golden Gate Bridge. So there’s the “no”. The “yes”, is that in the photographic novel I am developing, there is a specific Armageddon – but that’s not to be disclosed at this time!

How did you go about putting the first calendar together in 2012, getting the models and the weapons?

It was Thanksgiving 2011, and I was visiting family in AZ. The idea had been in my head all year and I finally shared it with my girlfriend at the time, Janine Maloney, who is a fabulously talented makeup artist. She was very encouraging and brainstormed the idea with me, and involved the first models , whom she had worked with on makeup at the local Haunted Houses that usually crop up during Halloween season. They were all very inspired by the concept and eager to get involved, which really helped bring the calendar to life.

In addition to Janine’s “theater” friends, I come from the local music scene, and was able to involve some of my local female musician friends, which helped add some audience to the calendar. We were very fortunate that they were all available and in about three weekends we scrambled to costume and shoot 12 girls! As a matter of fact, a few of the models had boyfriends who built props and sets, and they showed up with some awesome weaponry that appears in the first calendar. It went amazingly smooth for the first time around. I did all the graphic design and layout over a week, and we were able to have the calendar available to order right around Christmas-time!

How was the reaction?

People seemed to really get it for the most part. It also seemed to be inspiring to women. I think people like the fact that these are regular girls and they look great, tough yet battered, Hard, yet soft. Our own reaction – which was interesting – was that this concept needed to expand. We originally were thinking about making a comic book, and in looking for an illustrator, we realized that we had already created a style we could use to express this as a “photo-graphic novel”, a twist on the popular adult version of comic books called “Graphic Novels”

Where did things go from there?

While we were writing the story, the opportunity to appear at ComicCon in NY came up. We didn’t have time to produce the PhotoGraphic Novel we wanted, so we decided to do another Calendar )2013. 2013 was even better than 2012 and we also did a deck of playing cards. The second calendar was amazing! We were definitely better prepared and even more energized – it was also more photography based than post-processed.

What have been the biggest lessons you’ve learned, and the most rewarding moments?

Each project presents its own set of challenge and learning experiences. I learned that a Calendar has a limited window of opportunity for selling!  But I also learned that the concept was huge and there was a world to create.  The biggest challenge was definitely losing my partner in the project. Janine Maloney is an amazingly creative and talented Makeup Artist who happened to be my girlfriend. When we split up, she moved to New Mexico. The 2014 Calender was emotionally challenging as well as logistically.

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Fortunately, a few of the girls i worked with were also talented Makeup Artists and helped me through the challenge, Ally Antun, he only girl that has actually been in all three calendars, is extremely talented and motivated. She has created some great horror characters for “Slim’s Chamber of Horrors” a local haunted house experience that made the news this past season.

The most rewarding moment was holding the first calender in my hands. It was the most tangible proof i had ever seen that “You can do whatever you set your mind to.” The second most rewarding was having a booth at Comicon 2012 in NY with the girls in costume. The response was amazing.

Looks like this is just one of several similar projects – tell us about the others.

Well, This project has definitely connected me to my own style, which I don’t think I had established before, as far as shooting with women goes. While I do enjoy just shooting portraits, The ideas that excite me are more storytelling oriented, a moment in time that speaks to the viewer…

I have a project called DrrtyGrrls which is an homage to old school pinup photography and style, with a little twist – each girl has gotten herself “dirty” in her respective scenario. For example “Arc-Angel” os a girl in a motorcycle shop with a welding flame, working on a motorcycle, or “Flour Girl”- a waitress in a kitchen who has made a bit of a mess with the mixing machine.

Some newer work I’ve been doing is inspired by groups on Facebook like Girls with Guns and Badass Babes, so I have been focusing on the gun culture as well as the biker and tattoo cultures, which are very visual to begin with, providing me with tons of inspiration and material. I have also recently begun working for United Ink, a tattoo based company that runs Tattoo Expos and sponsors their own United Ink Angels – a group of up and coming tattoo models.

What are your favorite action heroine movies?

Hmm. That’s a tough one. I love the Rssident Evil Series. Of course, I have to mention Tarantino’s Kill Bill, and Planet Terror. Can I sneak in Tomb Raider as well?

How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Unfortunately, I don’t think I would last too long! But if I had any chance to just escape to the wilderness beforehand, that’s what I’d do. Avoid areas that were once populated.

What next for the Women of Armageddon?

Well, the story is pretty much developed and the script is being put together, so we can begin production on the photo-graphic Novel. But I have also been doing a bit of video production the last few years and it’s a very good possibility that we can bring the Women of Armageddon into some sort of live action series or feature. That would be phenomenal!

More information

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2014 in Action Heroine Films

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The IMDb lists over seven thousand films with a production date of 2014. Which ones look most likely to be of interest to girls with guns fans?

Raze (January 10)

We’ve been drooling not-so quietly over this one for quite some time – more than two years, in fact, since the first promo came out in November 2011, then through the trailer in March this year. And why? Because of the presence of Zoë Bell, who may finally get the chance to kick ass here, after being shamefully wasted in Django Unchained. The story concerns women abducted and forced to battle each other in an underground fight club, with their families being threatened as motivation. Bell was also one of the producers, so if this isn’t the hard-hitting actioner it needs to be, she can take herself outside for a stern talking-to. This will be a “limited” release, so keep your fingers crossed it’s somewhere near you, though I believe it’s also coming out through on-demand services.

Divergent (May 21)

Based on a popular series of young adult books by Veronica Roth, which has been compared to The Hunger Games, both being trilogies set in a dystopian future, with a young heroine. Certainly, the trailer (above) has a similar vibe, and contains enough action to establish its credentials here – it also gets a bonus point for including Maggie Q in a supporting role. So confident are the studio of this film’s success, that they are already working on versions of the other two books for March 2015 and 2016, so this series could become a staple of these previews. The writer of Jane Got a Gun (about which, more in a moment), Brian Duffield, has been hired for the second installment.

Maleficent (May 30)

Angelina Jolie is the nearest thing we have to a legitimate GWG superstar, and is perhaps the only actress who can open an action film on her name alone, as she did in Salt. This is, obviously, somewhat different, being more or less a re-telling of Sleeping Beauty, from the point of view of villainess Maleficent, who wasn’t always an evil witch. Per the synopsis, “When an invading army threatens the harmony of the land. Maleficent rises to be the land’s fiercest protector, but she ultimately suffers a ruthless betrayal – an act that begins to turn her pure heart to stone. Bent on revenge, Maleficent faces an epic battle with the invading king’s successor.” So, in other words, it’s Jolie being her usual BAMF self. Only, in this case, the last two letters stand for “magical female.”

Lucy (August 8)

Few directors have been more committed to the cause of action heroines than Luc Besson, going all the way back to Nikita, an icon of the genre, and just the first of a number of times he has gone to our well. This SF pic looks set to be another example. When Scarlet Johansson was cast as the lead in April, the Hollywood Reporter said the plot “centers on a woman forced to become a drug mule. But the drug instead goes into her system, transforming her into an ass-kicking machine. She can absorb knowledge instantaneously, is able to move objects with her mind and can’t feel pain and other discomforts.” Johansson, of course, was also the nearest thing The Avengers could give us to an action heroine, in her role as Black Widow, which could prove to be a nice warm-up. Heard very little else about this to date, so looking forward to a trailer soon – or even a poster.

janeJane Got a Gun (August 29)

This achieved early notoriety, when original director Lynne Ramsay failed to show up for the first day of shooting, and ended up parting company with the production, taking the cinematographer and Jude Law, who had been scheduled to play the leader of the gang, with her. A lawsuit has followed, alleging the director was drunk and waved a gun around on set – claims Ramsay has denied (maybe she was just channeling the spirit of Werner Herzog?). A new director has been found, but will the film survive? Oh, yeah: the plot. Jane Hammond is a married to one of the worst baddies in town. When her husband turns against his own gang, and returns home barely alive with eight bullets in his back, Jane decides to grab a gun and take matters into her own hands.

Resident Evil 6 (September 12)

The series just won’t quit, and it’s the overseas market you can thank. While the latest installment, Retribution, barely scraped past the original’s US gross, despite a decade of ticket inflation, it took more than three times as much as the first outside of North America, 82.4% of its total box-office coming from foreign parts. As yet, information on the sixth is scant, to the point that it doesn’t even have an official subtitle (“Rebirth” has been reported), but it seems to be the last one – at least for Milla and director/husband Paul W.S. Anderson, though a subsequent reboot would not surprise me. Anderson said, “In terms of returning characters and themes, I do see [it] coming full circle, and circling back to the original characters and themes that were featured in the very first film,” and also returning to the hive where it all began too.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (November 21)

Say what you like, the series is easily the biggest action-heroine box-office hit of all time: Catching Fire is still in theaters, but is already past $750 million worldwide, and may end up surpassing the original. It’s also critically preferred, at 90% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, compared to 84% for the first part. So could we be looking here at the first ever billion-dollar action heroine movie? It’s not impossible, though more likely to be Mockingjay 2, if it follows the Harry Potter pattern, where the final movie enjoyed almost a 50% boost in receipts. Something similar would get into the top 10 all-time (currently #10 is Pirates of the Caribbean 2, at $1,066 million). Quite a remarkable feat, and a complete destruction of the argument that heroines can’t drive an action franchise.

Barely Lethal (TBA)

barely lethal“A 16-year-old international assassin yearning for a “normal” adolescence fakes her own death and enrolls as a senior in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that being popular can be more painful than getting water-boarded.” I’m not sure who came up with that synopsis, but they likely deserve some first-hand experience of waterboarding. Cute title, even if it does feel rather too close to the lacklustre school plot from Kick-Ass 2. Chris will probably be up for this, since she thoroughly enjoyed director Kyle Newman’s Fanboys. Hailee Steinfeld plays the hit-teenager, Megan, and Jessica Alba is former employer Victoria Knox, who smells a rat and heads in pursuit. Samuel L. Jackson and Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones) are also involved.

Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger II — The Green Destiny (TBA)

Not a film I ever expected to see sequelized, but it was officially announced in May that filming would start next March. It’s based on another book in the same series on which the original was based, and will have Michelle Yeoh returning – if not under the direction of Ang Lee, I think Yuen Wo-Ping will do. Donnie Yen will also star, with Zhang Yi Yi reported in August as being “in talks” to appear in flashbacks. Given the brilliance of its predecessor, it’s got big shoes to fill, but still… Yeoh and Yen, with Yuen directing? We’ll be there. Some sources list this as 2015, but IMDb currently says next year, so we’ll include it here – while reserving the right to copy/paste this paragraph into next year’s preview!

Kite (TBA)

Based on the anime of the same name, the official synopsis says this “Kite is a character-driven action film that charts the story of Sawa (India Eisley), a young woman living in a failed state after the financial collapse, where a corrupt security force profits on the trafficking of young women. When Sawa’s policeman father is killed, she vows to track the murderer down with the help of his ex-partner, Karl Aker (Samuel L. Jackson).” Hmm. Seems to skip a couple of what would seem fairly pertinent details from the anime – but if you’ve ever seen the uncut version, you’ll know why it wouldn’t be directly filmable. Co-star Callan McAuliffe said, “It’s been toned down a tiny bit, but it is still exceedingly violent and there is a lot of the original material in there. It’s definitely not something that young children should watch.”  Original director David R. Ellis died, but shooting completed in September under replacement Ralph Ziman.

kiteHonorable mentions:

  • Veronica Mars (March 14) – The TV series about a young detective, played by Kristen Bell, was turned into a movie after a record-shattering Kickstarter project which hit its $2 million goal in eleven hours. I’ve never actually watched the show, but still – that’s kinda impressive. Am kinda intrigued now, given critical reaction such as “Alias in its attitude, Raymond Chandler in its writing and The O.C. in its class-consciousness.” Unfortunately, it’s not on Netflix, so it’ll have to wait!
  • Jupiter Ascending (18 July) – “In a universe where humans are near the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, a young destitute human woman is targeted for assassination by the Queen of the Universe because her very existence threatens to end the Queen’s reign.” It’s by the Wachowski brot… er, siblings. Once upon a time, that would have been all you’d have needed to say to get us into a frenzy, but that was before… Well, just about everything they’ve done, to varying degrees, since the original Matrix. So, we’ll restrain our enthusiasm on this one for a bit.
  • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (August 22) – We re-watched the original a little while ago, and it has stood the test of time very well, remaining one of the best graphic novel to film adaptations. The most obvious section of interest was The Big Fat Kill, which saw Clive Owen team up with the ferocious and protective hookers of Old Town, including Rosario Dawson and Devon Aoki. Dawson returns for this sequel, but Aoki is too busy being pregnant, so the role of “little Miho” is being played by Jamie Chung, whom you’ll know as Amber from Sucker Punch.

Girls With Guns Calendars 2014

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In previous years, we’ve done a round-up of the available GWG calendars on our forums – here are the threads for 2011, 2012 and 2013 – but figured that, this year, we’d move it to the shiny new main-site! All prices quoted exclude shipping.

TACTICAL GIRLS

http://www.tacgirls.com/ – $16.95

Now in their eighth year of operation, I think, and still the market leader. Justifiably so, for their combination of high-quality photography, interesting weapons and selection of models, which are all top-notch.

MAGPUL

http://store.magpul.com – $16.95

Another veteran of the scene, there’s also a video giving an insight into the shooting of the calendar.

 magpul

GUNS AND GIRLS

http://gunsandgirlscalendar.com – $19.95

A little more expensive, but this one does cover a full 16 months (though not sure how many have passed!) and includes a poster.

 gunsandgirlscalendar

COLD DEAD HANDS GUN GIRLS

http://colddeadhands.us – $19.95

Their “Gun Girls of Facebook” calendar, includes the likes of Li’l Red Danger, and all profits from the sale of the calendar go to military charities.

 colddeadhands

GUNS AND LACE

http://gunsandlace.com – $14.95

 gunsandlace

GEAR GIRL

http://www.tacticaldistributors.com – $12.95

GEEK GIRLS WITH GUNS

http://geekgirlswithguns.com – $20.00

 geekgirls

HOT SHOTS

http://hotshotscalendar.com – £9.99

Britain’s leading GWG calendar has a theme of a certain secret-agent – un-named for copyright reasons, I suspect!

 hotshots

GUNS AND CAMO

http://gunsandcamo.com – $13.95

 gunsandcamo

SKIN AND GUNS

http://skinandguns.com – $12.95

 skinandguns

STEPHANIE HAYDEN

Sold through Ebay – $19.99

Stephanie Hayden, from Discovery’s Sons of Guns show, is selling her 2014 calendars through Ebay. For this pre-order special, all calendars are autographed by her.

 stephaniehayden

WOMEN OF ARMAGEDDON

WomenOfArmageddon.com – $15

 armageddon

MUNDO EXTREMO

http://www.mundoextremo.com – $16.00

I found a bunch of stuff regarding the making of the calendar – but wasn’t able to locate the item itself! Price is an estimate, based off a Facebook post!

ALEX SMITS’ GIRLS WITH GUNS

http://alexsmits.com – $20.00

And last, but certainly not least, we have Alex Smits’ GWG calendar. Alex has been writing about girls with guns for even longer than I have, so knows his topic!

 calendarsmits

The Zero Woman series

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“Zero as a limit”

We’ve covered a couple of entries in the series previously, but I’ve decided to start work a rather more comprehensive set of reviews, systematically watching them in order, rather than the sporadic pieces previously published, as they fell across my retinas. Some of those pieces were also reprints from a previous publication, and were also shorter than the ones I’ve grown accustomed to writing. This was largely inspired by stumbling across the first movie, dating from the seventies, and realizing that I could now cover the entire set. I hate incompleteness. :) This will be an ongoing project, likely taking me through the winter and into next spring, so check back often (okay: fairly often!) for updates.

Like the Sasori: Female Prisoner Scorpion movies, its inspiration was a series of manga (left) by Toru Fujiwara, who seems to have a certain interest in the genre, to put it mildly. This generated one film in the seventies, but it doesn’t appear to have been much of a hit: unlike Scorpion, the series then went into hibernation. However, it has been suggested in more than one place that the film was an inspiration for, or at least an influence on, Luc Besson’s Nikita, which tells a similar story of a woman ‘brought back from the dead’ to serve her government, by carrying out missions that can’t be officially sanctioned. This, of course, then spawned its own (more or less) successful spin-offs, many of which we’ve already documented. But in a nice display of circularity, this likely fed into the revival of the series in the new millennium.

The new version, though straight-to-video rather than theatrical, and clearly made on smaller budgets, proved rather more successful, spawning a total of nine movies between the first, in 1995 and Zero Woman R in 2007. What’s kinda interesting is that, rather than having any degree of continuity, these films each starred different actresses as the titular operative. This may simply have been a budgetary concern rather than any conscious artistic decision, but certainly gives a nice sense of Zero Woman’s disposability, from the government’s point of view (as well as perhaps the viewers’, one AV starlet being as good as another for certain purposes, if you know what I mean, and I think you do).

So, what follows are all nine entries, in chronological order of Japanese release. This may cause some confusion, since the order of release in the West was not necessarily the same as in their home territory. For instance, the entry sub-titled Final Mission here, appears to have been the first “new” release, dating from January 1995. It’s not clear if the next film, released later that year and titled Zero Woman 2, is referring by that number to Final Mission or the original seventies incarnation, Red Handcuffs. tl;dr? Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. They’re pretty much interchangeable. And with that, on with the show!

  • Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs

    ★★½

    When the series started in 1974, it originally appeared to be trying to take on the Female Convict Scorpion series at its own game – both were inspired by Toru Shinohara manga series. However, going by the fact it took more than two decades for a second entry in the series, I can only presume the commercial returns weren’t anywhere near as strong. This starts off well, with policewoman Rei (Sugimoto) luring in, and then blowing away, the man responsible for torturing and killing another woman. Turns out the perpetrator was a diplomat and in the resulting scandal, Rie is sent to jail. Her chance at redemption comes when a gang of thugs stumble into the kidnapping of the daughter of a politician (Tamba): to avoid a scandal, Rie is offered a pardon if she infiltrates the kidnappers and kills them all. Initially, all goes to plan, with the first member taken out quickly, but it soon becomes clear the other members are rampaging psychos, and the situation rapidly spirals out of control, to the point where the politician yanks his support and orders the deaths of everyone, in the name of damage limitation – including both his daughter and Rie.

    The promising beginning is a bit of a con, as the majority of the film has Rei not doing much more than sitting around, waiting for the gang to destroy itself. Occasionally, she will prod them in a certain direction, but generally, they don’t exactly need much encouragement and she’s mostly passive rather than the vengeful fury for which I hoped. Now, there’s certainly plenty of tbe “fury” bit, with some of the most enthusiastic arterial spray I’ve seen for its time, and some of the torture scenes are close to unwatchably brutal (the cops are every bit as bad as, and perhaps worse than, the criminals in this area). However, Rei just isn’t as interesting a character as Sasori, despite sharing the same terse approach; she does fit in pretty well, to a cast of characters who all seem to possess few human or sympathetic qualities.

    Things escalate particularly nicely at the end, when the police discard the “softly, softly” approach [which in seventies Japan, appears to mean “not actually killing people yourself“] and go after the gang, who have moved on to take a bunch of other hostages. This leads to a chase and shootout at an abandoned US military base, which probably also meant something significant in 70’s Japan, going by the occasional hints of anti-American sentiment. Noda has a broad stylistic palette, throwing montages, hand-held camera and freeze-frames into the mix, the last-named perhaps trying to evoke the manga spirit. It doesn’t come off as particularly memorable however, and if the lack of its own artistic style is more than made up for in copious sleaze, you can certainly see why no-one dared (or bothered?) to follow in its footsteps for more than 20 years.

    Dir: Yukio Noda
    Star: Miki Sugimoto, Eiji Go, Tetsuro Tamba, Hideo Murota

  • Zero Woman: Final Mission

    ★★★½

    Probably the least accurate title of any film ever – at least Friday the 13th put out a few movies before using “final” – you definitely should begin here if you’re looking for much coherence. Rei (Iijima) is now partly employed as secretary to the head of Section Zero, but also takes out criminals for whom traditional channels of law enforcement aren’t enough, for one reason or another. She also pals around with Takako (Fukuoka), a detective from another section and a girl he helped bring out of delinquency, in what’s vaguely intimated as a love triangle. One night, they witness a hit and run, and discover the perpetrator (Suzuki) is the daughter of a powerful economic figure. Despite encountering official resistance, Rei and Takako persist with their investigation and, inevitably, this brings out more robust sanctions.

    This does take some time to get going: it’s probably about 25 minutes before the car-micide in question, really kicks things off, and the film is more or less in a holding pattern until then. Still, Iijima certainly looks the part, and unlike some of the other occupants of the position, you don’t get the sense she got the role purely for her willingness to disrobe. Indeed, she manages even to take a shower and gun down an intruder without straying much beyond the boundaries of PG-13. Not that there’s exactly a shortage of nudity in this production, most of it coming from Suzuki, who is portrayed as being kinda depraved and heavily into S/M. Indeed, this seems the case for the director, as Rei spends a far too large chunk of the second half, tied up and being tormented by what can only be described as a cackling sex dwarf [literally half his lines must have been, “Bwahahahaha!”]. Quite what this says about Enokido’s predilections, is probably best glossed-over.

    There’s a cool colour palette used here, mostly blues and grays, and a couple of scenes which will certainly stick in the mind. One is the previously mentioned shower-ambush, and the other is one where Rei is on the phone to Takako, when their conversation is rudely interrupted on his end: gradually, she realizes that something is very, very wrong. It’s expertly crafted, with good performances from both ends of the telephone line, and you can’t help wondering that more of this, rather than so much of the Laughing Gnome, would have elevated this to a classic. Instead, it’s merely hints at greatness, and settles for being solid and effective, starting the franchise in a way of which the original movie could only have dreamed.

    Dir: Koji Enokido
    Star: Naoko Iijima, Takako Fukuoka, Misayo Haruki, Miho Suzuki

  • Zero Woman 2

    ★★½

    Confusingly titled in the West, without any indication it wasn’t the first of the rebooted franchise, this perhaps explains why there’s little or no explanation of… Well, anything, really. What is Section Zero? Who is Rei? Where did she come from? “Never mind about that,” seems to be the film’s attitude, “Here are Natsuki Ozawa’s breasts to distract you from such trifles.” That’s particularly the case early on, when it seems Rei is unable to go five minutes without showing them off, whether it’s through being molested, becoming inescapably randy or simply taking a soapy shower (to wash off the blood after a kill, so I guess it’s a shower necessary to the plot – it also replays the intruder shower scene from its predecessor, with a different ending).

    Fortunately, their novelty apparently wears off for the director, and we get on with the actual plot, which involves a stolen suitcase of bearer bonds, belonging to a politician. Rei is sent to retrieve them, working her way up through the shady network of fences which handle such things. As help, she’s assigned a member of the regular police (Watari? – credit information is basically non-existent here), but he turns out to have his own plan, to recover the bearer bonds himself and make a nice profit by selling them back to their owner. However, said owner is also working his own way up the chain, and kidnaps the sister of one of the thieves, as leverage for the return of his property. That brings the perp (Kosugi, the son of Sho Kosugi, iconic star of a million ninja flicks) into an alliance with Rei, and they storm the warehouse where the hostage is held, for a bloody confrontation.

    It’s more obvious that this is clearly shot on video – and not particularly HD video at that, though that may be a product of its era as much as anything. This generaly gets better as it goes along, unless you are interested in Ms. Ozawa’s breasts, in which case your mileage may vary. The plotting contains a decent number of twists and turns, and Kosugi helps deliver a competent amount of action. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t struggle through the earlier sections. In particular a scene where she is forced by a fence whose day job is a butcher, to sniff coke and then raped by him. While at least he gets his just deserts (let’s just say, there’s a meat-hook involved), it’s both entirely unnecessary and clearly intended to titillate the audience. Not cool, and it left a bad taste in my mouth, which even an impressively nihilistic conclusion was unable to remove entirely.

    Dir: Daisuke Gotoh
    Star: Natsuki Ozawa, Saori Iwama, Kane Kosugi, Hiroyuki Watari
    a.k.a. Zero Woman

  • Zero Woman: Assassin Lovers

    ★★★★
    “Grimly fiendish yet effective killers’ romance.”

    zerowoman3Mob boss Daidohji (Yutani) has the city almost within his grasp, thanks to a minion promising him material he can use to blackmail the mayor. But his success is short-lived, as the minion is taken our by Rei (Takeda), who is then ordered by her boss Takefuji (Nishioka) to finish the job, taking out Diadohji and the rest of his gang. Not that the mobster is sitting back and waiting: he hires his own assassin, Katsumura (Matsusa), to get to Rei before she can get to him. However, neither killer is exactly happy with their role as pawns in the bigger scheme of things, and when they meet, it’s time for a little R&R. As in “romance and rebellion.”

    This is the best of the saga which I’ve seen to date, mainly because it does a better job of striking a balance among the various elements. The storyline and characterization are not lazily ignored in preference for more easily exploitable elements; not that there’s any shortage of either sex or violence, but they seem to flow naturally from the plot, rather than appearing to drive it. The relationship between Katsumura and Rei has some credibility to it, with each seeing a reflection of themselves in the other. But will that be able to over-ride Rei’s strong loyalties to Section Zero? The film does a good job of keeping that in doubt, right up to the very end, where Rei is given the ultimate in ultimatums by Takefuji, and it’s not clear what way she’s going to jump.

    There’s also a nice, slick look to the film, which unfolds under an apparent endless array of neon lights, and on perpetually-moist streets, a visual style that helps conceal the low-budget nature of proceedings. While the story may rely to heavily on the clichés of the genre, those involved, on both sides of the camera, execute – pun not intended – their responsibilities with enough flair and energy to counter-balance its shortcomings, and the end result is certainly a significant improvement on the first two films in the revived series.

    Dir: Masahide Kuwabara
    Star: Kumiko Takeda, Keiji Matsuda, Charlie Yutani, Tokuma Nishioka

  • Zero Woman: The Accused

    ★½
    “Putting the zero in Zero Woman”

    zerowoman4After the genuinely impressive bleakness of Assassin Lovers, the series comes crashing back to earth with a splat like a rotten tomato for this entry, which fizzles out early on, and then manages to lumber on for another 45 minutes. Rei (Tachihara) spends her time between missions hanging out at a gay bar, and rescues one of the rent boys, Mitsusu (Kitagawa), who ply their trade there after a vicious assault – accompanied, it has to be said, by the least appropriate music in the history of cinematic homosexual rape. He ends up moving in with her, to the latest in a series of unfurnished apartments provided by Section Zero, and the two damaged individuals start creating a life, of sorts, for themselves. However, there’s a serial killer, apparently with a deep hatred of men, operating in the area, and Rei is given the mission of tracking down and eliminating the psycho.

    It’s hardly less than obvious who it’s going to be, but almost everything here is played at such a low-key, with no measurable intensity, so it’s even hard to be annoyed by this lack of subtlety. About the only moment with any energy is when Rei’s boss Mutoh (Yamashita) smacks her across the face for a bit of backtalk. However, my ennui was overcome by the scene where Mitsusu gives Rei a haircut. Considering this film is less than 80 minutes long, I think I could have very easily done without this – and, ideally, rather more action. After an opening which might impress upon you the importance of not getting stuck in an everyday routine, Gotô seems to lose interest in staging any set pieces, and the final few minutes certainly don’t make up for what has gone before.

    Inexplicably described by Tom Mes as “the best” in the series, I found it severely uninteresting on just about any level, being badly hampered by poor performances, direction which struggled to reach workmanlike and, in particular, a script which is largely bereft of ideas. This and Assassin Lovers feel like the Jekyll and Hyde of the series; it’s as if all the good stuff somehow ended up in its predecessor, leaving this installment with just the inept film-making.

    Dir: Daisuke Gotô
    Star: Mai Tachihara, Yuujin Kitagawa, Shinji Yamashita, Daisuke Yamazaki

  • Zero Woman: The Hunted

    ★★½
    “You just can’t get good henchmen these days.”

    Zero_Woman_The_HuntedIf ever I become an evil overlord, I will ensure my minions’ idea of security does not involve walking slowly in the open, towards an attacker, while firing wide of them from a range no greater than a slightly oversize dinner-table. That’s the first thing we take from this, which begins with a thoroughly implausible scene where Rei (Ono, who had been a part of 90’s J-pop group CoCo) manages to drown her target, a German industrialist, despite him being roughly twice her size, and without anyone in or around the swimming-pool noticing anything. She then climbs out, pulling a gun from who knows where, kills bodyguards who’d fail the Imperial Stormtrooper accuracy exam, and abseils down the side of the building to escape. That sets the tone for much of what follows, combining a reunion with someone from her past, a blossoming relationship with a chef, and her boss’s traditional surly reluctance to allow anything as banal as “personal happiness” to distract his #1 killer from her work.

    It’s rather bitty, and there are too many scenes of Rei sitting around her apartment, staring wistfully into space or oiling her breasts. I should point out, however, this is actually oiling of the breasts that turns out to be necessary to the plot, which has to be worth an extra half-star in anyone’s book. As usual, it’s a different actress in the role, but Ono is a significant part of the problem here, as she just isn’t convincing as a hard-assed hitwoman, lacking the presence or even, apparently, the basic competence for the role. Fortunately for the film lasting more than five minutes, those she’s going up against are even worse, being unable to hit a barn if they were inside it. The film does redeem itself in the final 20 minutes or so, when all the threads tie together, and we realize that her boss was not kidding when he said, “There’s no place for you, except in Zero Section.” Things thereafter return to a grim and pessimistic worldview, and this shows the series at its most effective.

    However, once you get past the initial mission to kill the German, there isn’t enough genuine action in this for it to be memorable. Maybe it’s a function of the low-budget, with your production being much cheaper, when you are filming your lead actress trying to look intense, instead of needing to expend money on blood squibs, blanks and other actors [I think it was renowned B-movie director Jim Wynorski who once described nudity as the cheapest special effect]. But it’s a method that is harder to pull off successfully, and in this particular instance, I can’t say the approach makes for more than marginally passing entertainment.

    Dir: Norihisa Yoshimura
    Star: Mikiyo Ono, Reina Tanaka, Kou Watanabe

  • Zero Woman: Dangerous Game

    ★★
    “Game for just about anything, but mostly moping.”

    zero woman dangerous gameThe main mission given to Rie (Shiratori this time) is a little bit different, from her usual, straight-forward assassinations. Instead, she’s given the job of protecting a witness. Nana (Matsuda), the disgruntled mistress of an organ-trafficking ring, who has had enough and agreed to co-operate with the police. Rie is part of the protection detail, but soon finds out that the gangsters, under ever-so strange boss Kaneda (Nogami) with his transvestite tendencies, are not going to sit back and wait for Nana to take the witness stand. Oddly, the cops let Nana stay in her own apartment, perhaps figuring that’s the last place her former lover would look. but when that is unsurprisingly stormed, Rie takes the target back to the operative’s flat, where they hang out, exchanging small talk – that’s mostly Nana, of course, since Rie is about as talkative as the enormous pet fish she has in a tank, and to which she feeds goldfish.

    However, there are complications, because it turns out that a senior politician has an ill daughter, who is relying on the organ trafficking ring for a black-market transplant. The word comes down to Rie’s boss, Mutoh (Ryu) that the investigation has been squashed, and Nana is to be dumped out of witness protection, as no longer of interest. That would almost certainly be a death sentence, because her betrayal of the gang isn’t limited to her knowledge of their actions, she also swiped a large suitcase of their cash before turning police informant. But has she done enough to endear herself to Rie, that her bodyguard might be prepared to go off-book and continue with the original mission on her own initiative? Or, better yet, entirely take out Kaneda – whose weirdness has now graduated from transvestitism to cannibalism.

    This is too chatty to succeed, especially when the conversation is so one-sided, as are the ones between Nana and Rie. They do form a somewhat interesting contrast in characters, and Shiratori certainly has the physical presence to carry off the part of a cold-blooded assassin, to a much greater degree than some of the previous actresses in the series. But to reach the bloody finale, you have to sit through a solid 70 minutes of her moping around her apartment, with our without Nana, and that’s more than an entire month’s quota of mope for me. The L they’re missing from the sleeve probably is “lugubrious”. Kids, look it up…

    Dir: Hidekazu Takahara
    Star: Chieko Shiratori, Ichiho Matsuda, Masayoshi Nogami, Daisuke Ryu