★½
“Lost in translation.”
This is a prequel to Argentinian cop movie Perdida, and if I had checked its 2½-star rating before settling into this… I might not have bothered. This struggled badly to keep my interest, I suspect because there are two disparate plots going on, which never manage to mesh satisfactorily. We re-meet (pre-meet?) our heroine, Pipa (Lopilato) as a raw police recruit, who has just been teamed with Grizzled Veteran™ Francisco Juanéz (Furriel). Juanéz has a reputation, both for brilliance and breaking the rules. The latter comes out after his wife is killed in a robbery gone wrong. The person accidentally responsible is barely out of jail when he’s conveniently killed in a hit-and-run accident. Suspicion naturally falls in Juanéz.
Her bosses want Pipa to keep an eye on her partner and report his behaviour back to them. Meanwhile, she is also investigating the death of an obnoxious young socialite, whom it seems everyone in her circle had a reason to kill. As the two investigations unfurl alongside each other, we discover that there may be more corruption than Pipa was initially informed. Even if Juanéz turns out to have been responsible for the vigilante killing, will justice be served by his partner turning him in? More importantly, and less certain, can the viewer be convinced to give more than the slightest damn about any of the resulting drama? I’m afraid, from my position, the answer to the latter is a resounding “Meh.”
The mere presence of two unconnected plot threads strongly suggests the makers didn’t believe either had enough meat on their bones to satisfy the audience. In a film running 114 minutes, that would appear to be a problem. I’d rather they had simply worked on one or the other, developing it to the point where it was strong enough to sustain the movie on its own merits. As is, each has elements that could be of interest, but it feels as if, whenever they are at risk of engaging me, we immediately jumped to the other thread, losing all momentum. If there had been something new in the characters, this would have helped too. But Juanéz, in particular, is less an anti-hero, than a collection of cop tropes on legs.
I mean, if you can avoid rolling your eyes when it’s revealed Juanéz has an untreated heart condition, you’re a more tolerant viewer than I. Considering this was the first original Netflix movie to come out of Argentina, the results are less than impressive. The titular ability is used whenever the script paints itself into a corner, Pipa and/or Francisco pulling a clue out of thin air, so they can move the investigation forward. I barely could be bothered to summon the energy for an eye-roll by the time the final credits rolled. While there is a third film in the series, Recurrence, a.k.a. Pipa, it will be at least another seven years before I can bothered to review it.
Dir: Alejandro Montiel
Star: Luisana Lopilato, Joaquín Furriel, Rafael Ferro, Delfina Chaves


I’m always amused when I check the reviews on the IMDb for a film, and they are almost all “Totally amazing!” or “Worst film ever!”. The former tend to come from the movie’s friends; the latter, from people miffed by the positive reviews, and seeking to counter them. The reality is usually somewhere in the middle, and that’s the case here. Given this was reportedly made for forty thousand dollars – and those are Australian dollars, which right now is about 67 US cents – it’s quite impressive, and certainly doesn’t look low budget, despite a cast of basically three and a single location. However, it’s a film where, if anyone had behaved sensibly, proceedings would have been all over in about ten minutes.
Bella Thorne’s struggle to appear in a film which reaches three stars on this site, continues unabated. While probably not helped by my tendency to confuse her with Kristen Stewart, that’s five attempts now. Although, for a minute here, I thought this might be the one where she finally cracked it, with a potentially interesting first half. But it could not sustain itself, and as the final credits rolled, and I saw Guinevere Turner’s name as the co-writer… Yeah, it all made sense. I mean, she wrote
★★½
There’s a very strong start here, and this makes the way it implodes at the end all the more disappointing. The film certainly hits the ground running. It’s 1978 in rural California, and ‘Scorpion’ Joe Clay (Hébert) is fleeing from the scene of a botched bank robbery. His wounded partner in crime is bleeding out in the back seat, and there’s a hostage, bank customer Vivian Fontaine (Bell), in the trunk. But when he pulls off the road to sort things out, freeing Vivian so she can help, we discover there are much worse things in the desert than scorpions. For Joe quickly gets his head blown apart.
For whatever reason, I had a strong sense of deja vu while watching this, but I’ve been unable to track down any record of me having written it up. I may be confusing it with
I mean: Stetson wearin’, six-gun shootin’ country gal, on a mission to slay demons, vampires and things that go bump in the West? Yeah, it’s like that. Mind you, there’s a rough start to this, with three minutes of what is likely a top contender for the worst acting of 2026. I guess it’s good to get it out of the way early, and it does make the rest of the cast look like Oscar candidates in comparison. To be fair, Jones is decent enough in the title role. Even when lumbered with some pretty clunky globs of exposition about a 17th-century Satanic cult, she is generally tolerable, and occasionally above that.
★★
I have to give this credit for being something different. A vampire sports movie? Not a genre cross I’ve seen before. Especially when the sport is… um, modern pentathlon, the least-watched member of the modern Olympics. It’s a five-discipline event, based on the skills needed by a cavalry officer: running, shooting, fencing, swimming and horse-riding. All five play their part here, mostly in the form of Marcia Lorenz (Dordel), a former pentathlete, who is now a hunting guide. Well, was. She just got fired, and has absconded with valuable antique documents belonging to the customer who was responsible. Driving through remote woods, she stops to help a woman by the road, and that’s where things kick off.
By coincidence, I watched this after