Tag: fantasy

Supergirl, on its 40th anniversary

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★★★
“Revisiting the original Maid of Might”

Before Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow arrives on our screens in 2025, starring Milly Alcock from House of the Dragon in the title role, I thought, it would be a good time to revisit the original Supergirl movie, which was released in the United States forty years ago this month. So what is Supergirl? A campy trash/cult classic? A fine, forgotten superhero movie? A guilty pleasure? A lame forgettable flop of the 80s? Hopefully, after reading this review you’ll be able to make your own, well-informed judgment!

Originally, the character of Superman’s cousin was supposed to appear in Superman III, but after a new script was written, the character was moved to her own movie. Alexander and Ilya Salkind, the producers who had given Superman life on the big screen in form of Christopher Reeve, probably thought they might score as big with Supergirl as they had with the first two Superman movies. Unfortunately, when Superman III came out in 1983 it was heavily criticized, and fell well below financial expectations, which caused Warner Brothers to give distribution rights to the Salkinds, who would sell it to Tri-Star.

It may not have been the best move, for it seems the film got little marketing (though did get a royal premiere in Britain), and was also sharply edited down. It’s a bit difficult to be certain how many versions of the film exist, but three are well-known: 1) The theatrical cut that runs a bit over 90 minutes. 2) The international version, also called “European theatrical”, though that did not come out in German cinemas. 3) The so-called director’s cut of 138 minutes, which is overly long, especially by 80’s standards. Nowadays, you’re happy when a big movie doesn’t exceed the 2-½ hour mark. How times have changed!

The box-office also ended far, far below expectations and resulted in the Salkinds selling their rights to make any further Superman-related movies. Which is… kind of regrettable, I think, because this movie is not half as bad as it is usually made out to be. I’ll go into its obvious flaws later. But what is the story about? Introducing Supergirl to the film world was not so easy. After we had all seen Superman’s home world Krypton blow up in the original movie. But the film actually followed, without really explaining how scientists did it, the original comics which introduced Supergirl in 1959. Argo City, home of Kara Zor-El’s (Slater), was saved from the catastrophe that befell Krypton and in the film survived in “inner space”, whatever that might be – today we would probably call this another dimension.

Here, Kara lives with her parents, other families and scientist mentor Zaltar (Peter O’Toole). The parents are played by Mia Farrow and Simon Ward in cameos; obviously the producers wanted to give Supergirl the same support, with famous or well-known actors, as they did the Man of Steel. After losing the Omegahedron, the power source of the city, Kara follows it via unexplained Kryptonian technology to our Earth to bring it back. Unfortunately, evil wanna-be witch, quack doctor and esoteric Selena (Dunaway) has taken it with plans to conquer the world. Their mutual interest in young gardener Ethan (Bochner) and Kara’s need to conceal her real identity, going by the alias of school girl Linda Lee, complicate matters further.

From that summary, you should be clued in to what the movie is. It’s loosely a repackaging of the Superman story; though some aspects are different here, at the core it’s the same. Maybe this was one of the reasons why the movie failed to attract audiences. But the story and some characters chosen for it come with problems too. While Superman could still be seen as science fiction, Supergirl seems more like a fantasy movie. While Clark Kent’s continuous attempts to dupe Lois that he is Superman were used in the original two movies to wonderfully hilarious effect, this aspect doesn’t appear here at all.

Then again, how could it? Supergirl has just arrived on Earth, differently to Superman. Christopher Reeve’s Superman was originally heavily involved in the script but Reeve politely declined; maybe he didn’t want to play second fiddle to someone else? So the script was rewritten, with Superman on a “special mission” in another galaxy. Neither her room mate – who happens to be the younger sister of Lois Lane – nor Jimmy Olsen, the only character from the Superman movies to appear, know her, so there can be no “A-ha!” moment. Nor can love-struck gardener Ethan see that the brunette school girl he was just talking to, is also the blonde girl in the super-dress. Whoever wrote this should get a “D-” in basic logic. At least Superman changed totally in behavior and wore glasses when he played Clark Kent. Here, there is no believable excuse for it.

The film has other problems. One is a lot of unnecessary characters that are neither needed, nor add anything essential to the plot. It’s especially apparent with actors probably cast for their comedic talents. Peter Cook, often well-matched with Dudley Moore on stage and film, might be a good comedian but is totally unfunny here. The same goes for Brenda Vaccaro as Dunaway’s sidekick: compare her to Ned Beatty’s Otis, alongside Gene Hackman, and you’ll see how ineffective Vaccaro’s role is here. I’ve already mentioned Lucy Lane and Jimmy Olsen. Why are there here? What do they add to the story? Do they do anything that has an impact?

Trimming should have happened in the writing phase. If they would have eliminated, reduced or at least given these characters something of meaning to do in the plot, the movie might have been much better. Additionally, there is a side-plot of female bullies picking on Kara, seeming only to serve the purpose of showing that Kara has the same heat-vision as her cousin. Other strange decisions were made by the screenwriter, and slid past the producer and director. When Kara lands on Earth the first people she meets are two drunk, wannabe rapists who try to molest her. Hurray for feminism, I guess, Kara showing them a Kryptonian teen can defend herself. It’s an ill-fitting scene in a movie apparently intended to be family- and kid-friendly. Wonder Woman 1984 also had such a stupid, distracting scene. So either there is something I  don’t understand, or film directors and screenwriters have not learned much over the four decades between the movies!

Also, the “love story” between Ethan and Kara is essentially a “non-love story”. His love for her is induced by Selena’s magical potion, who wants the man for herself. If the first person Ethan saw after waking up had been a cow, would he have fallen in love with a cow? The length of the movie was already criticized when it originally came out, even though it was shorter at the time. And the version that I knew from seeing the movie in the late eighties on German TV was shorter still. You can hardly expect a movie, of whatever quality, that has been edited down so much to still make much sense at all.

It’s no surprise O’Toole and Dunaway were nominated for Razzie Awards, though it’s not all their fault. Obviously, director Jeannot Szwarc had no problem with Dunaway going as campy as she wanted. It’s a pity because her role could have been convincing or even menacing, played straight. There is no doubt Dunaway, with a fine reputation of playing difficult characters, could have given a good, villainous performance. Heck, she already played a first class femme fatale in the Musketeer movies for the Salkinds in the 70’s. Of course when you go camp, you can hardly blame Dunaway for trying to repeat what Gene Hackman successfully did as Lex Luthor, But you have to be really funny, something that worked for the Hackman-Beatty pairing but not here.

O’Toole has only two significant scenes in the movie, at the beginning and the end. His performance in the first seems a bit uninspired and odd. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was drunk while doing it; the actor was famous for this, like Richard Burton or Oliver Reed. The second, where Zaltar seems to have given up all hope and sacrifices himself for Kara, is quite well done and touching. Although a strange decision was made in the German dubbing, where someone came up with the idea of casting the German voice of Clint Eastwood for him!

For all the negatives I have listed, there are quite a few positives, shining bright in this movie pursued by bad luck. Helen Slater probably gave the performance of her career. She is really, really good playing the female version of the true-blue hero, as well as the innocent-looking big-eyed teenager in Argo City, and her cute school girl role of Linda Lee. Slater was even nominated for a Saturn Award for her performance. If the film had been better – or at least financially successful – maybe she could have had a similar career to the one Christopher Reeve enjoyed due to his Superman role? Alas, it wasn’t to be…

The special effects of the film may look dated today – and they are. But considering all of it was before the advent of CGI, digital and computer effects, it’s impressive what could be achieved by in-camera-tricks, visual illusions, miniature and composite effects. Sure, a lot of effects could be simply generated on the computer today. But even a cardboard photo cut-out of Supergirl, drawn quickly out of the water, is astonishingly effective and can only be recognized for what it is today, due to DVDs and Blu-Rays. How do you show Supergirl almost torn to pieces by a monster in 1984? At that time all the filmmakers had were some distortion effects by a changed perspective – nevertheless, it works, and there are some very nice effects.

As kitschy as it seems, I personally loved the aerial ballet of Supergirl when she arrives. For the first time too, we get to see the Phantom Zone: it’s constantly mentioned in the Superman movies, but here is actually a set in Britain’s Pinewood studios (used for many Bond movies), and must have been one helluva work to create. Selena’s traps and the shaking, fiery ground are impressive, as are her manipulations in the abandoned event park. My favourite effect might be Kara fighting an invisible monster which you only can recognize by its impact on the environment, e.g. giant prints on the ground, breaking fences, etc. This seems directly inspired by the classic “ID” monster from Forbidden Planet.

All in all, the effects were as good as possible at the time, so shouldn’t be judged by today’s standards. The film in addition boasts great production design, luscious exterior shots, a well-timed tractor-on-the-loose action sequence, appropriate and good-looking costumes (especially for Dunaway), all of which are undeniable pluses. Then there is the – as always – great Jerry Goldsmith score which makes up more than half the movie’s atmosphere. It’s especially impressive, considering I could hardly imagine anyone else able to step in the shoes of John Williams, who scored the original Superman score.

Supergirl is still not a great comic book superhero movie. Nor a bad one: more somewhat mediocre, but kind of sympathetic. As mentioned, the movie had bad luck, being both too late and too early. Too late, as it seems audiences had started to grow tired of the whole Superman circus: within six years people had been exposed to four Superman-related movies. The “All-American” hero had become kind of passé with Schwarzenegger, Stallone and co. introducing the new, harder and gritty anti-hero who would dominate the screens for the next decade. Alternatively, you had more goofy heroes like Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop or the Ghostbusters. A simple, straightforward hero didn’t fit into this time anymore.

But the movie might have been too early as well. At that time, audiences were simply not interested in female comic book heroes as flops like Red Sonja, Sheena and Brenda Starr proved again and again. Even a further attempt in the early 2000 with Elektra, Catwoman and the like failed. It’s only recently that movies like Black Widow, Captain Marvel or Wonder Woman are really scoring big at the box-office. This was also before the “girl power” era. In the late 90s and early 2000s, with TV shows like Charmed, Buffy, Xena, Kim Possible and movies like The Craft, Mean Girls or Legally Blonde, a movie about a school girl fighting an evil, powerful witch could have scored big – but well… not in the 80s!

So… maybe “Supergirl” was just a bit ahead of its time. Judge for yourself.  What about my interest in the movie? Well, I saw photos of it in film magazines, years after it was in cinemas. At that time the movie had not been shown on TV and my family had no VCR yet. All I had was some photos and my imagination to tell me what the movie might be about. For me the film belongs in the category of enjoyable fantasy movies of the 1980s together with fare like The Neverending Story or Highlander. That photo of young Helen Slater with her clenched fist, flying with the glowing sun in the background, still hangs on my wall! So I may be a bit biased concerning the film. But aren’t we all regarding our favourites?

Dir: Jeannot Szwarc
Star: Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway, Hart Bochner, Peter Cook

Caught in Crystal, by Patricia C. Wrede

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Literary rating: ★★★★★
Kick-butt quotient: ☆☆

One of my favorite fantasy authors, Patricia C. Wrede [pronounced as “Reedy”] began her writing career in the late 70s; this book, published in 1987, is part of one of her earliest bodies of work, the five-novel Lyra series. However, it’s essentially a stand-alone; though all five of the books are set in the author’s fantasy world of Lyra, they’re all about entirely different sets of characters, widely separated geographically or chronologically (or both –like Tolkien’s Middle Earth, Lyra has a very long fictional history), and are unrelated in their plots.

As is usual in traditional fantasy, Lyra is a low-tech world much like medieval Europe, except that magic really works there and is universally recognized as a reality. Also unlike medieval Europe, it has no equivalent of the Roman Catholic Church; such religion as it has is a vague polytheism that doesn’t bulk large in the story. It’s home to five races (at least some of which can interbreed): humans, the elven Shee; the furred Wyrds, who are somewhat cat-like, but are as big as small humans, use spoken language and have opposable thumbs; the mostly aquatic Neira; and the gray-skinned sklathran’sy, often referred to by humans as “demons,” but as in the work of such writers as Piers Anthony and Robert Asprin, not evil fallen angels but just a non-human race with a talent for magic. (In fact, all of the non-human Lyran races have a more natural affinity for magic than humans, and that factor plays a role in this novel and probably the series as a whole.)

Our protagonist is Kayl Larrinar, who when the book opens is a 36-year-old innkeeper in a back-water village, five years a widow, and a caring mom to two kids (Dara and Mark, ages 12 and 10). But (although we learn some of these details a bit more gradually), she’s not native to the place. Orphaned or at least separated from her parents young, she was first raised among Thar raiders but then taken in as a child by the Sisterhood of Stars, an all-female clerisy of warriors and sorceresses who wield considerable influence in much of Lyra. Trained as a swordswoman (though her sword is now buried beneath her hearth –but she still knows how to use it), she was one of the order’s best.

But she broke with the Sisterhood 15 years ago, after an ill-fated expedition to the mysterious and ill-omened Twisted Tower that stands in the remote and inhospitable Windhome Mountains (the expedition where she met her late husband, a Varnan wizard). She never wants to see that place again. Now, however, sorceress Elder Sister Corrana, one Glyndon shal Morag (another survivor of the expedition and a fellow wizard and friend of Kayl’s husband), and an unsavory gaggle of Magicseekers, a human organization determined to get their hands on magical power by any means, fair or foul, are all converging on the inn, and the Tower’s casting its shadow again.

When I first read this novel in the 90s (I’ve now read it twice), I was really impressed by the wonderfully textured world-building. As I know now, that’s helped by this being the fourth book set in the same world. But it’s still impressive! The magic systems (built in the case of the Sisterhood on the use of true names) also have some thought behind them.) Kayl’s a very relatable heroine, a good and conscientious mom whose relationship to her kids is developed well, and realistically; plenty of real-world single moms, I think, could easily identify with her. There’s an element of clean, low-key romance that was also a plus for me. Wrede tells her story at a deliberate pace that allows for character development; and while there are points of suspense and danger, serious violent action occurs only at the climax of the plot. Kayl can (and does) handle herself very well in combat, but that doesn’t take up much of the plot.

So as action-heroine fiction goes, this is on the low action side; but that element is there, and some baddies who tangle with Kayl won’t tangle with anybody else again. (She’s good with a sword, but her knife-throwing skill is jaw-dropping.) Readers who prefer more exoticism and less realism in their fantasy, a plot-driven and faster-paced story, and more violence and sexual steam won’t like this as much as both my wife and I do. But for my part, I appreciated this as an involving, serious fantasy tale that respected my intelligence as a reader. And the positive message of cross-racial and cross-cultural friendship and respect, and the negative view of prejudice, have grown more rather than less relevant in the ensuing decades.

For me, the primary enjoyment of this reading experience was in spending time with these three-dimensional, vital and likable main characters. Even though Lyra is well-realized, it’s not such a fascinating setting in itself that I feel any need to re-visit it centuries later with totally different characters. But I can enthusiastically recommend this as a great adventure for fantasy fans who want a stand-alone rather than a gargantuan series.

Author: Patricia C. Wrede
Publisher: Ace (paperback) and Open Road Media (e-book); available through Amazon, both for Kindle and as a print book.
A version of this review previously appeared on Goodreads.

Blood Claws, by John P. Logsdon and Ben Zackheim

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Literary rating: ★★★
Kick-butt quotient: ☆☆☆

I picked this up without realizing I already had another book in the _______ Paranormal Police Department universe. That was Sinister: Unhallowed, part of the Black Ops PPD series. Logsdon was also a co-writer on that, so I am going to speculate he’s the “showrunner”, for want of a better phrase, while his partners run their individual franchises. The underlying theme is the Netherworld, a realm of everything from goblins to were-creatures, which runs parallel to this one, and whose residents occasionally move to ours. To keep them in check, the various PPDs exist, acting to prevent things from getting out of line.

Is in this world that Bethany Black exists. She’s a weretiger, who has always harboured an ambition to join the New York PPD. However, there’s a problem, in that her species is a seriously endangered one. As in, there are only two left. Making matters worse for species survival prospects, the other one, Mike, is gay. So she has been basically kept in bubble-wrap, until finally convincing her minders to give Bethany the chance at her lifelong goal. While being a weretiger does certainly give her certain advantages, there’s a very large gap between how she imagined and expected NYPPD life to be, and the harsh reality of working with irascible pixie partner, the veteran Max Shakespeare. Making matters worse, when Mike pays Bethany a visit, he is abducted off the street, setting in motion a frantic search and rescue mission.

Much of what I said about Sinister: Unhallowed applies here. Indeed, if you’d told me they were written by the same people, I would have nodded in agreement, as the style is similarly fast and loose – and the same largely goes for the heroine here, too. Bethany is very much inclined to act first and think… eventually, a trait which is obviously at odds with the grizzled experience of Max. Can a pixie be “grizzled”? I feel if one ever can, it’s likely him. If you think along the lines of Lethal Weapon with mystical creatures, you are probably not too far wrong.

I think this works better once Bethany gets through her training, which is so brief as to be almost pointless – it seems to consist mostly of a fiendish obstacle course. Once there’s an actual case, things settle down, and the personal nature of the victim plays into the heroine’s tendency against measured and considered response. This tends to cause more problems than it solves, especially for the supporting characters around her, quite a few of whom do not make it to the end of the book. I’m not sure what is depicted here represents a very practical way to run a police department. But on the other hand: weretigers. Complaining about realism under the circumstances seems a bit churlish. A quick enough read, this is enjoyable without a lasting presence.

Author: John P. Logsdon and Ben Zackheim
Publisher: Independently published, available through Amazon, both as a paperback and an e-book
Book 1 of 5 in the New York Paranormal Police Department series. 

A Certain Scientific Railgun – T

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★★★
“Third time’s the charm?”

A lot has happened in the Certain Scientific universe since the second season of Railgun. There had been an OVA movie, which I won’t review here; it is less a Mikoto Misaka story, than a team effort across the different shows, with Index, Railgun and Accelerator working together to solve a case that was too big for any one of them alone. Mother show Index had a third season, whose story played in Russia, introduced an evil Misaka clone called “Misaka Worst” and dealt with the prevention of World War III. The villain of Railgun‘s second season, Accelerator, had become an unlikely anti-hero, now working on the side of the angels – though still nasty in his usual way. He had gained a sidekick, in the form of an underage Misaka Mikoto clone. Finally, our heroines also got a third season.

All of this, except the OVA, happened within one year! Obviously, this big universe  – dare I compare it now to the size of the Star Trek universe? – had attracted more and more interest and fans over the years, so creating studio J.C. Staff decided to come back and produce more. After all, the anime business is exactly that, a business, and like any other depends on its sales. With Kazuma Kamachi, the series creator, constantly tossing out new volumes there was no lack of new material. And after watching the new seasons, including the third season of Railgun, I can come to two main conclusions.

Firstly, I love this universe. I got so accustomed to it, its characters, their behaviour, the story-lines and so on, that I will always be here when new animated content for them comes out. Though I must confess, I have only made it through the end of the 7th volume of the Railgun manga. I haven’t much time on my hands, sorry! Secondly, while I love the anime series (and will always recommend the other shows to those who liked this), probably nothing will ever beat the “sisters arc” of Railgun – S. I’m sorry, but all the other story-arcs, as good as they may be, never come close to the emotional impact this specific story-line had on me.

That said, season T is still very good, manages to raise the stakes and is recommended entertainment, if you like this kind of anime show. Once again, new characters are being introduced, though quite a number of episodes were, to me, wasted on a story-arc that was not that interesting. It was a similar feeling I had when watching the “Febri story arc” of Railgun – S. In the end A Certain Scientific Railgun stays a mixed bag – although I would also say that about many shows, e. g. The X-Files. Naturally, your mileage may vary: you may like or love some aspects or episodes of a show and not be so interested in others, then someone else may see it totally differently. That said, let’s go in media res, shall we?

The first new arc deals with the “Daihasei” festival in Academy City – essentially a sports event, where the different schools compete with each other. Nice to look at, also very funny, but hardly life-threatening. Or so you may think in the beginning: these stories have a tendency to develop from harmless to world-endangering. For the kidnapping of one of the Misaka clones, as well as Saten investigating an urban legend, as she did in previous seasons, lead to something much bigger than anyone could have predicted. Newcomers to the series, include Shokuhou Misaki, another of those rare level 5-espers, who can control people and read their minds with the help of something that looks like a TV set. She seems to have a personal beef with Mikoto. Also new is Sogiita Gunha, whose special power is that “he has guts”; this may not sound much, yet he does some impressive things with it.

In the background, people are pulling strings, since obviously this event serves as a showcase for espers. The powers that be have realized, given the events of the previous two seasons, that espers aren’t as easily controlled and exploited as they hoped. As we know, Academy City is kind of a proving ground for these dark scientific forces. This all turns out to be a trap for our favourite railgun by evil scientist Gensei Kihara. This unscrupulous scientist seems to have been heavily involved in – or maybe even the catalyst for – the experiments that endangered the students of Academy City and our heroes in season one and two. But this is the first time he appears in person. With all his knowledge and abilities accumulated from his “test subjects” he is indeed a formidable threat.

His actions are directed against Mikoto, forcing her to become a “level 6”, something only one level 5-esper  – presumably Accelerator – would be able to maintain in stable form. It would cause the person that Misaka Mikoto is, to dissolve and vanish – but not before blowing Academy City to kingdom come. Our heroine finds herself helpless, and in order to be saved needs all her friends. That’s one of the things I love about the show: it’s generally a team effort. Even when you have a story arc like Railgun S, when Mikoto thought she had to do it all alone, she realizes it is good to have a little help. Everybody contributes according to his or her abilities to the bigger whole. Okay, Accelerator is absent, but he was probably too busy starring in his own spin-off series, A Certain Scientific Accelerator. And they are all so damn noble:

  • Touma, who never hesitates to put his life on the line for everyone, but especially for Mikoto,
  • Kuroko, who comes out of her wheelchair to fight a dangerous hench-girl
  • Mitori Kouzaku, who can create some kind of “evil clay doll” versions of herself and works for Gensei Kihara
  • Kongou, who ends up in hospital for helping Mikoto, and has become a cool, noble character compared to the arrogant school princess who arrived in season one
  • Shohuko Misuki, who almost loses her life – though less for Mikoto than saving the entire city.
  • Sogiita, who is such a cool, sympathetic hero, giving all he can. If he starts to bleed… well, he realizes he “just has to put some more guts into it”!

What results is a “three-front war” with all those different protagonists fighting to prevent the Gensei Kihara’s mad-cap evil plan. Saving the world – and Misaka – is not a simple thing, and as seems to have become a tradition for the series, after such an almost “overkill” arc, the next story it delivers is inevitably less interesting. It can’t hope to compete with what has happened before, though I personally have made my peace with this. After all the excitement, you can use something to calm you down. Unfortunately, those episodes feel like a chore for me as they come across like lacklustre time fillers. Again: I guess you have to eat the vegetables, too, after you had your T-bone steak!

Time is spent on the “Dreamranker” Indian Poker game cards arc. When put on your forehead, these can make you relive the dream whoever made the card has dreamed before. While the concept itself is interesting, not enough is done with it. After having saved Mikoto from becoming a level 6, this is just “nice”, and a little bland. For example, an entire episode is wasted on Mikoto and another girl seeking a card that is said to be “the bust-upper” –  that is supposed to do what the name suggests. Though, the story takes a curve (as it were!) with a mysterious girl Kuriby Ryouko making a human-looking machine to help her sick mother. It results in a clash not only between the girl and her machine, who wants to take over her life, but also Mikoto and a girl-gang called “Scavenger”. In the end it’s up for our favourite railgun again, to battle against the over-powerful android that threatens to destroy Academy City.

While the finale is again visually fulfilling and full of action, it can’t quite match up to the first story-arc. But then, Mikoto was more the victim of circumstances there, who had to be saved by her friends. In the second, it’s her fighting her own battles again. The last episode feels again like treading water after the big battle. So we get the usual “girly stuff” like villainesses undressing each other (face it, the show is not above the usual titillation!), girls lying in hospital, and the usual confusion with Kongou meeting one of the Misaka clones.

Overall, you leave the third season with a satisfied feeling of having had another good meal. You know what you came for, and you got it. I can’t watch the ending without being slightly touched, and feeling it was already a small miracle the show would come back after all those years. Now it’s over – or at least, in another hiatus until the powers that be decide the time is right for a fourth season. Until then, I  agree with Mikoto and her friends, when the show’s catchphrase is delivered: “There never is a dull moment in this city!” And they’re right; there certainly never is!

Dir: Tatsuyuki Nagai and others
Star (voice): Rina Satō, Satomi Arai, Aki Toyosaki, Kanae Itō

A Certain Scientific Railgun – S

  By

★★★★
“Bigger, stronger, faster, better!”

Have you ever had this experience? There is a series you see and the series is fine, okay, solid. But without you noticing, you connect with these characters subconsciously, on an emotional level. As you watch them regularly, you get accustomed to them (though they are totally fictional) and don’t realize it until something happens, and you suddenly feel how much you have gotten attached to them. It’s not a new experience for me. It happens from time to time, but not often enough I would call it a rule, every time I watch a new TV show. Usually, I just passively experience the respective episodes and don’t waste much thought on it, least of all any kind of emotional investment.

It’s strange – at one point, when you started watching movies and series, you felt a strong emotional connection to everything, but today, it seems mostly gone. This does not only has to do with becoming a grown-up and seeing a lot more, but maybe also filmmakers and storytellers having forgotten the art of getting you emotionally involved in their plots and characters. But I have to say: A Certain Scientific Railgun got me, despite initially thinking I didn’t care much at all for the series. The show had been a satisfying, quite well told combination of “Slice of Life”-episodes, with some action-filled SF-arcs.

While for some. these “SoL” eps were unnecessary annoying filler episodes, I didn’t mind them. They provided additional colour to the big picture. I also was well aware I might not be the target audience: the Index series is the one supposed to be for the boys. Also, I went in without any specific expectations, always an advantage. Principally, I liked what I had seen, so had no problems with paying for another season. While sometimes things were maybe a bit too kawai for me, and the antics of a character like Kuroko Shirai could get on one’s nerves, the series was overall well thought-out, put attention into the details, and I enjoyed the emotional dispositions of the four girls, who all had their own character.

The next season arrived and… was even better?! Sure, it’s a subjective opinion, but I personally think the emotional investment I already had in the show paid off. The new season (from 2013, three years after the first was released) seemed to start like its predecessor: The girls going to school, spending time in their company, Kuroko abusing Mikoto… same old, same old, one might say. If one likes a season of a show, a new season is like meeting some good old friends again after a while. Then, the story starts to develop slowly… First in tiny steps that are hardly remarkable. There is a special art in storytelling when you are able to build up a story-line from small events to a big pay-off, when something finally can come to fruition and blossoms in a big climax.

People like Hitchcock, or some of the best action directors, know how to do that, but today I think it is virtually secret knowledge. I would certainly not have expected to find it in a Japanese anime, where you can be happy if one’s intelligence simply isn’t being insulted too much! It begins relatively harmlessly. Somebody claims to have seen Mikoto Misaka (our title-giving “scientific railgun”, thanks to her coin trick), but Mikoto wasn’t there at all. Then it happens again which leads to the girls talking about having a doppelganger, and eventually to the very interesting question, which forms the premise of this season: “What would you do, if you had a clone?”

Another strange thing occurs. Somebody is leaving envelopes containing money in small, dark side-streets, leading to people going on their own treasure hunt, and Mikoto & Co. try to find out who’s doing that and why. The story constantly builds and you slowly realize that you are paying much more attention to the show then you ever did before.  When Mikoto finally meets her doppleganger, it’s initially almost a shock. It leads to questions: who is the girl, why is she behaving so strangely, and where does she come from? Mikoto indeed has “sisters”. Actually, a lot of them. And these girls are part of an unethical and inhuman experiment.

The series really managed to grab me here totally, and part of it is due to the way the story is constructed, something I mentioned when reviewing the previous season. We grow attached to Misaka over time, and care for what she is going through emotionally. I don’t know what I would do if I met my clone, but I guess I would be quite angry about somebody stealing my identity and misusing my genetic map, which is something Misaka also feels. But there is something unexpected happening. While the Misaka clones appear a bit strange and speak about themselves in the third person, they are instantly likable and cute, it’s shattering to find out what kind of role they have to play in an on-going “experiment”. It was quite a shock, at least for me who came along with no idea of the evil hiding in the shadows (I’m not spoiling that here!).

Again, much of the effect of the series lies in its careful combination. On the one hand, you have cute school-girls doing harmless girly stuff: studying, social services, sitting in cafés, mocking each other, searching together (as happens in one episode) for a four-clover-leaf in a green field. Then, suddenly, a hole of darkness opens where very evil people do very evil things, with hardly any remorse or justification for their acts. The contrast makes this story shocking: in another darker show, it would have been your typical, average stuff. Here, I almost got the feeling I’d watched an anime written by the Brothers Grimm! While we have seen much worse, it’s the combination of different elements that makes this work so well.

Unfortunately, our protagonist makes the decision to play Batgirl and solve the problem alone, without her friends, which I found a bit questionable. The climax of the previous season had shown how effective these four girls are when working together, and this can also be seen at the beginning of this season. But I guess as the so-called “sister-story-arc” was also already featured, albeit briefly, in A Certain Magical Index, the writers here were bound to how events played out in that series. It doesn’t look good for our little railgun: She experiences fear, despair, helplessness and pain. It’s quite some time since I saw so many relatable and believable emotions in an animated character.

It’s always nice when a powerful character is “cut down to size”: it adds realism to any story. Fantasy and SF stories should have rules and powers should have limits. And 5-level esper Mikoto, who in the past was not above bragging about her incredible electro-talents, experiences these, physically as well as emotionally. We look differently at our protagonists when they are not the strongest kid on the block anymore. Here, we meet megalomanical, sadistic villain Accelerator, who is more than a match for Mikoto. But then, Misaka is not totally alone; for there is still Touma Kamijou, the protagonist of A Certain Magical Index, the boy who wanted to protect Misaka previously and whom she challenged to a power-fight. Maybe he can help?

There are interesting aspects here. Do super-powers make you susceptible to arrogance, because you start subconsciously to feel superior to everyone else? It’s something the powerless Saten worried about in the first season before meeting Mikoto. The character of Kongou, a level 4-esper is like that (though she becomes more sympathetic this season), as is another level 5-esper introduced at the beginning of this series. You calso remember the many, many times when Mikoto used her powers carelessly in the past. To paraphrase Francis Bacon’s famous sentence: if power corrupts, do then superpowers corrupt…um, superly?

It’s a thought, albeit never directly articulated here, and is definitely evoked when watching this story. We also get a brief look into Accelerator’s past: he has a reason why he does what he does. Once again, the show manages to give us some understanding as to the villains’ motives. It delivers a much more layered approach than just telling us, as so many stories across so many media do: this guy is bad, and has to go! It makes the show more well-rounded, the stories much more satisfying, characters more ambivalent and therefore – if I may use the word – realistic. Also, kudos to the writers of these stories for applying the laws of physics in a logical, and well-considered manner!

After this very well-built, suspenseful story arc, running from episode 2 until episode 16, I can understand why some felt the remainder of this season was a bit of a letdown. While we get another arc, the new one can’t quite compete with what happened before, though is decent on its own merits. For a while, we go back to small stories of the girls getting together and the usual jokes like e. Saten pulling up Uiharu’s skirt to embarrass her. Yes, that’s a thing. It’s alright by me. After you have clashed with the Big Bad, it’s absolutely fine to have another episode where your heroines are in a hurry to bring a cake to a meeting, where they drink tea and say goodbye to a friend who is moving away. It’s the “slice of life” aspect: if you are in for the meal, you have to eat the vegetables, too!

This season is not perfect; nor was the previous one. A possible flaw is it becomes almost a one-girl show with Mikoto on her own and her friends reduced to side characters e.g. Kuroko constantly worrying what is up with Mikoto and where her best friend spends her nights. Fortunately, this is corrected in the second story arc, dealing with Febri, a little girl who is the subject of an experiment herself. Mikoto finally learns she not only has good friends, but to take help when it’s offered. The power of friendship can even deal with very well-equipped forces of the dark and shady “underworld” in Academy City. These little lessons of morality integrated into the show, definitely leave a feel-good-feeling at the end.

Finally, we even learn about the motivations of some of the villains in the background. In a city where all those highly-enabled people are the focus of everyone’s attention, the “normal” people, regardless of how ingenious they may be or how hard they work, have hardly a chance of ever getting their spot in the limelight. Being constantly neglected can make you do very terrible things. But again: not everyone working on the side of the bad guys is necessarily an enemy and Mikoto gets her “Will Graham vs. Hannibal Lecter”-moment, so to speak! Once again the arc is well-built and develops the sensitive, emotional touches which make the show more than the usual action.

It ends in a very satisfying finale which sees almost everyone, including second-tier characters, join Mikoto’s final battle against the evil scientists’ group. There’s still a deadly satellite in orbit that could destroy Academy City unless Mikoto and Shirai get up there and blow it up in time. Shouldn’t be a problem for Mikoto, the city’s famous railgun, right? Watching this series felt for me a bit like seeing Kim Possible in an X-Files plot, spiced up with some great action from a Hollywood blockbuster. Though I could have done without the show’s main musical theme playing, once again, over the battle scenes during the finale. Here the producers really should have invested in some action music!

Some questions remain. What exactly will happen to the almost 10,000 “sisters” of Misaka? Are there other powers in the shadows we have not seen yet? Or is Academy City now free of big criminal-scientific organisations? Will Misaka get together with Touma? Probably not, since in his own series he has quite a harem of female followers. And what is with her obsession over that frog? Stay tuned, for J. C. Staff, the studio behind the show, also produced a third season, which came out a good seven years after this one. At least something good that came out of that terrible year! So, let’s continue…

Dir: Tatsuyuki Nagai and others
Star (voice): Rina Satō, Satomi Arai, Aki Toyosaki, Kanae Itō

A Certain Scientific Railgun

  By

★★★
“Beware level 5-espers when they point their fingers at you!”

Have you ever noticed, when you are consciously looking for things that fall into a certain category, you find more and more of them? You may have seen it in action yourself after you discovered the “girls with guns” genre. Compare it to the time before you knew about it, how few movies/series there seemed to be there, and how much you realized were actually available after this site drew your attention to the specific genre. I have started to experience the same thing since I started to look into anime, and in particular the specific target of entries belonging to the GWG genre, that go beyond your usual Miyazaki-Ghibli production.

But then, anime seems like a bottomless pit; I recently saw a video by a German anime fan and publisher, who said there are thousands of anime being produced each year. For the year 2017 he spoke of 3,400 (!). I don’t know if that’s true: but considering, for example, how many Hong Kong martial arts movies I found when I really was looking for this specific kind of entertainment, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. Of course, he also admitted most of these anime series are garbage, get ignored and vanish as fast as they appeared. The Japanese manga and anime market is every bit as focused on turning an idea into a highly profitable product (including action figures, OVAs, soundtracks, etc.) as your average Hollywood franchise.

They may perhaps be even more calculated. The business is a highly competitive one, with studios opening and closing every year: they only stay in the business for as long as they produce successful series, and a lot of underpaid animators work free-lance. As enjoyable as this stuff can be, the production background is merciless. It’s maybe better to ignore it, especially as most of these series on DVD are just too expensive (though I never bought bootlegs, but if the Anglo-American territory offers a cheaper alternative, why should you buy over-priced German-dubbed volume boxes?).

But onto the subject of this review. This is a spin-off of another anime series, A Certain Scientific Index, which preceded Railgun. I’m not reviewing the original show, or its other spin-off, A Certain Scientific Accelerator, but would like to stress that while Index is a good show, Railgun is much better. All these series are based on the manga and light novels of author Kazuma Kamachi. He, obviously, is continuously working on his own fictional universe. There are so many volumes of the respective series out there, people on YouTube are making videos on what series to read/watch, and in which order, to get into it without having to consume everything that is on the market. The three seasons of the show I review here have alone already reached 69 episodes.

Index deals with a male character, Kamijou Touma, who has to solve problems of girls and other people, that are either of a magical or a supernatural (read: scientific) nature. Railgun puts a supporting character from Index, middle-school girl Misaka Mikoto, and her female friends to the center of the viewer’s attention. While Railgun might have been created to cater to a female audience, it may have become more popular for a general audience, similarly to how Xena overtook Hercules in popularity. Part of the reason may be Misaka Mikoto’s cuteness, for the Japanese love everything that is “kawaii”.

Misaka is an esper of the highest degree, level 5. And while she is one of only seven level-5 espers in Academy City, this is not as unusual as it may sound at first. For the whole city is filled with students that Charles Xavier would probably have called “extraordinarily gifted”! They are all learning to develop and use their abilities at school, though for what purpose I still have not found out; is there a job market for those kind of abilities? Still, given their powers it’s a very sensible thing to do, since otherwise the students might easily misuse their powers.

It’s understandable if this sounds a bit like your typical X-Men animated show from the late 90s. But those shows were primarily concerned with showcasing the abilities of these supernatural beings and adapting the most well-known comic book story-lines. Railgun is a bit different. Heck, it may not even really belong to the same genre as the X-Men, and very often puts its focus elsewhere. It may be the reason this series originally was of minor interest for many. While the girls from time to time show what they are capable of, the main narrative is telling nice little stories about the girls’ everyday life. Getting to know each other, their own little (or bigger) problems and oddities, going out in their spare time and… yeah… Occasionally solving some crimes and blowing things up!

This kind of tale is called “a slice of life story” and is its own genre in Japanese manga and anime. While we have that in the West too, I never noticed and probably would categorize this mainly as “drama”. But then this genre can obviously encompass more, as it is in part a social drama about girl friendships, part sitcom and (here) part superhero story. What to make out of this is, I think, up to individual taste. I can absolutely understand that, for many in the West, this kind of story is unusual; those expecting an ongoing superhero saga will likely be disappointed by this kind of storytelling. I personally found it charming and fresh, even though there certain elements did astonish me. The closest thing to this kind of show in the West might be something like Smallville.

The girl group here consists of the following. Misaka, who is able to control, and more importantly unleash an enormous amount of electricity. Her room partner, Kuroko, who is a teleporter and has a very painful-to-watch crush on Misaka. Uiharu, whose power is somewhat vague, but it is indicated that she can control the temperature of things. And finally, her best friend Saten, who surprisingly has no superpowers at all. Which actually comes in very handy at the end of the story, because sometimes having such a talent can be your Achilles heel.

Other characters include, Konori, a normal teen working for “Judgement”, kind of a social service which Kuroko and Uiharu also join. These teens maintain order on the streets, ranging from helping find a lost bag up to preventing innocent people being harassed or beaten up by outcast rowdies. Then there’s the school director who regularly seems to break Kuroko’s neck (or at least it sounds like it!), when she and Misaka use their powers on school property. The strange Doctor Kiyama who turns out to be the local legend known as “The Undresser”. This means she regularly takes her clothes off without any embarrassment, for minor reasons like it being too hot. No, I’m not making this up, I swear. It’s part of the story.

In the beginning Uiharu and Saten get to know Misaka who, much to the astonishment of Saten, isn’t arrogant at all, as most high-level espers seem to become. Misaka is a cool, sympathetic girl, constantly angered by… the affections of Kuroko, whose feelings for her are definitely more than platonic. It’s kind of shocking sometimes for me, when behavior we would probably label as bordering on sexual assault, is depicted in an animated show, largely targeted towards teen girls. But then this is anime and we all know it operates with different parameters from Western entertainment! Also, the show never takes itself too seriously. Except when it actually does, but more on that later.

Misaka sees through all Kuroko’s attempted manipulations and when Kuroko goes too far, you can expect Misaka to throw her (virtually) out or use her electro-powers on her. The pair remind me in their strange “dog-cat-relationship” of DC’s Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, with the difference that the Japanese versions are the good gals! It’s just natural that hotheaded tomboy Misaka is the leader of the group. Though she mainly keeps her powers in check, she may from time to time break the rules, such as by duping the public vending machine or when hunting an evil-doer. You know something not so good is coming your way, when she tosses a coin with enormous power in your direction.

While she has a temper on the outside, she is a sweetheart on the inside, caring very much for her friends and the people around her, and is definitely in the process of learning to trust others and to open her heart. Her most beautiful moments are when she is emotionally touched and doesn’t know how to articulate what she feels. It grounds this over-powered character and makes her more human. Indeed this “over-poweredness” was the reason why Kazuma Kamachi originally wanted to make Kuroko the main character, but the publishers saw it differently. Mikoto is not perfect despite all of she is being able to and that makes her so relatable.

These powers are what gave her in the previous Index show the name of “Railgun”- in her words, “because even objects of a minor size can generate an enormous power when thrown with enough energy in one’s direction”. She also comes across Touma, the main character of Index, who embarrasses her when he tries to rescue her from the company of some teenage boys. Unfortunately for him, she takes his well-meant help as a personal insult, which leads her to constantly challenge him to a fight. Unfortunately for her, his special power is that the talents of others don’t really function when he holds up his hand. Hilarious scenes ensue.

It’s a good show in the GWG anime genre, though in my book no match to highlights such as Black Lagoon, Canaan or Mirai Nikki. If you are in the mood for something a bit different, that shouldn’t be taken too seriously, this might be something for you. It’s sometimes light as a feather, followed by solid SF action and intriguing plots, while still retaining its own certain charm. It may not sound like too much, but having recently watched the dense and sometimes difficult to understand Bakemonogatari, I actually enjoyed this much more.

The series consists of a nice mixture of stand-alone episodes and a very slowly building story-arc. I like that very much, as it gives time to build each of the characters, their relationships to each other and emotional connective moments for us, the audience. This kind of structure also did remind me a bit of the old X Files show with its single episodes, in contrast to today’s series, which tend to have a constantly developing story arc. You miss a few episodes and you’ve got problems catching up, and trying to understand what’s happening again.

That’s not the case with Railgun. The series initially takes its time, with the girls and their everyday life the focus of attention. Then, to my surprise, it moved to a bigger story with unethical experiments performed on helpless esper kids, and dark forces lurking in the background. It’s almost shocking, since the place we have been shown here mostly seemed sunny, funny and enjoyable. The biggest problems the girls ever faced, was how to deal with personal little insecurities. But where there’s light, there must be shadow, too! Local urban legends of a “level-upper”, a device said to improve or increase one’s esper abilities, make the rounds and while investigating these seem a harmless leisure activity for the girls, the outcome is much bigger than anyone could have foreseen in the beginning.

After a big climax it looks to go back to square one, and we return to small “what did XYZ today” stories. But then a new girl appears and so-called “poltergeist activities” happen around her, leading to another, much bigger challenge which also includes a twist. Not everyone you think must be put behind bars is evil; not everyone you trust is trustworthy; and sometimes the one with the least powers can be the savior of the day.

What I especially liked was that each of the girls is their own character and acts differently. They are not just bland copies of each other with only differing abilities. While I don’t think many people will ever get to know this series if they are not deep into anime, I especially enjoyed the way it structured its story. We in the West may have had our Kim Possible, the Japanese post-Sailor Moon have this. I liked it well enough to invest time and money in the second season, A Certain Scientific Railgun – S, which will also be reviewed here.

Dir: Tatsuyuki Nagai
Star (voice): Rina Satō, Satomi Arai, Aki Toyosaki, Kanae Itō

Damsel

  By

★★★
“Dis dress in distress.”

Brown is definitely among Netflix’s golden girls. After breaking out with an ensemble role in Stranger Things, she has taken an action turn, starring in Enola Holmes plus its sequel, and now is in this unconventional fable. If I was feeling snarky, I’d say I liked this better the first time I saw it, when it was called The Princess. That’s a little harsh, though I did feel it was superior. For example, this feels like it takes longer to get going, with Princess Elodie (Brown), daughter of a poor kingdom, married off by her father, Lord Bayford (Winstone), to Prince Henry, the scion of the rich land of Aurea, in a fairy-tale wedding. 

If you’ve seen the trailer you’ll know this isn’t as nice as it seems. Turns out Elodie is (eventually) intended as the latest in a long line of human sacrifices, for the dragon living in a nearby mountain, to keep it from torching Aurea. But she has no interest in going down in flames, and will do whatever it takes to survive and escape. This mostly involves ripping off bits from her wedding dress, to the point I wondered if it’d end with a nude Elodie, storming the Aurea castle, with a dagger in her teeth [Pauses to check we’re on legal turf with that mental image… Yep, please proceed] But she also discovers things are more complex than they seem, with the dragon having her own motivation. 

Bits of this work very well. The fire effects are often spectacular, and whoever cast Aghdashloo as the dragon deserves a raise. Her voice, which sounds like she has gargled battery acid for a decade, is just perfect. Fresnadillo has a decent visual style as well, although the CGI world is sometimes a little too obvious. However, the narrative doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. We have to believe the whole human sacrifice thing, or even the dragon, are a secret unknown to anyone outside the kingdom. Then there’s the way – spoiler alert – Elodie and the dragon end up on the same side, even after it kills her father. And a key plot point sees the dragon hurt by its own fire. Y’know, the stuff it has been repeatedly gargling?

The message here is fairly misanthropic too, none of the male characters being worth a shredded wedding dress. [Its release on International Women’s Day was particularly cringe] Should be no surprise that it ends in her basically going full Daenerys Targaryen, though much as in Enola, Brown’s character feels rather anachronistic. I’d like to have more of the supporting cast, in particular Queen Isabelle of Aurea (Robin Wright, evoking memories of her role in The Princess Bride), and Elodie’s stepmother, Lady Bayford (Angela Bassett). The former in particular is fun to watch. I’d rather have seen her play the heroine: “Hello, my name is Princess Buttercup. You tried to feed me to a dragon. Prepare to die.” Oh, well: guess this will have to do.

Dir: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Star: Millie Bobby Brown, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Ray Winstone, Brooke Carter

Little Hero

  By

★★½
“The calamari fights back…”

Although almost a decade earlier than Lin Hsiao Lan’s slew of fantasy kung-fu flicks, this shares a lot of the same elements – not least an approach to narrative coherence best described as “informal.” This starts at the beginning, where we don’t even get introduced to the participants, before the martial arts breaks out. As we learn a little later, it turns out this pits Chu-Kwok Su-Lan (Shang-Kuan) against three members of the Devil’s Gang, in defense of her two, largely useless sidekicks. This is just the first of numerous encounters between our hero – yes, it’s another unconvincing male impersonator out of Taiwan – against various members of the group, and eventually their leaders, Gold Mask (Lo) and Silver Mask (Wang).

There is a loose justification for all of these flying fisticuffs: literally flying, in the case of the Mask brothers. For they zoom about on their strap-on wings, accompanied by VTOL airplane sounds, more befitting a busy day on an aircraft carrier. Anyway, the excuse is the pursuit of a legendary artifact called the Phoenix Sword, which was being transported to Master Chen in Dragon City. Its couriers are ambushed, yet manage to hand off the case containing the weapon to a random orphan, conveniently bathing nearby.  The Devil’s Gang then kidnap Chen’s daughter, demanding another legendary item, the Dragon Sword in exchange for her safe return. Chen is having none of it, so recruits a bunch of his former students, including Su-Lan, to go after the kidnappers and rescue his daughter.

There is some other stuff. However, a) the above is all you need to know, and b) I’m not clear enough on much more, to be willing to commit fully to putting it on the Internet. In any case, this is definitely one of those films where, if you don’t like this fight sequence, just wait – because there will be another along in a few minutes. I suspect my rating might well be higher if there was a decent presentation of this film available. It only appears to be available in a severely cropped version, which half the time is zoomed in far too close to appreciate what’s going on, and in an English dub that leaves no molecule intact of the performances beneath it.

All that’s left after this scorched earth approach to the visual and audio elements, is to appreciate the berserk imagination on view. This reaches its peak at the end, where Su-Lan faced off on the beach against a pair of giant octopi. Their preferred method of attack is to squirt mini-octopi at him. While I can certainly appreciate the surprise value inherent in such an approach, it doesn’t seem very sustainable. As a finale, we then get Su-Lan against Gold Mask – who is no longer masked – on what looks like a children’s adventure playground. Again: none of this makes sense in the context of the story, something I felt tended to be aggravating rather than enjoyable. If you’re of a more relaxed attitude, you may well get more out of this than I did.

Dir: Hung-Min Chen
Star: Polly Shang-Kuan, Barry Chan, Lieh Lo, Hsieh Wang

Kung Fu Wonder Child

  By

★★
“So. Many. Questions…”

You may have noticed that I’ve been on a bit of a spree with these Taiwanese fantasy-fu flicks of late. However, I think I’m feeling a bit sated with them at this point, and the law of diminishing returns seems to be setting in. There are only so many unconvincing male impersonators, bad effects (both optical and practical) and almost illegible and/or illiterate subtitles a man can take, and I think I’ve reached my capacity in almost of these categories. Fortunately, my queue of such things seems to be nearing an end, with just a couple more to go. Still, after this delirious experience, I feel in need of a week or two’s break from the madness.

The villain here is the usual long-haired sorcerer (Li), who is collecting souls for the usual, megalomaniac purposes, and keeping them in large, ceramic jars in his yard. As you do. Among his collection are the father and sibling of Chiu Hsu (a rather under-used Oshima, albeit very early in her career), and she eventually links up with helpful unconvincing male impersonator, Hsiu Chuen (Lin, of course) and not one, but two, annoying comic sidekicks, Mi Fu and Tudor. Hsiu is a servant at a martial arts school, where her grandfather (Long) is the cook. Except Hsiu wants to learn the skills taught at the school, and Gramps is not just the mild-mannered chef he initially appears to be. Hilarity ensues. Well, if your idea of hilarity is a dog peeing on someone’s face, at least.

This is the kind of thing where it feels like the makers threw every idea they came up with onto the screen, regardless of a) relevance and b) whether or not it could be executed with any degree of competence. For example, the first would include the extended opening prologue about a Chinese hopping vampire, and his two kids. It serves no purpose and seems to have strayed in from a completely different movie. As for the second… well, outside of the willingness of Taiwanese stunt-people to fling themselves around and into things for our enjoyment, this rarely gets to passable, even allowing for it approaching forty years in age. I did laugh that one of the monsters Hsiu ends up fighting, is obviously a flying facehugger from Alien.

That said, there is a surprisingly decent stab at mixing animation with live-action, when the villain transforms into an animated dragon for the final battle. If it’s not exactly Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it’s not notably worse than the Disney efforts in this area. In general though, the execution trails far behind the imagination, and as a result, does the latter something of a disservice. The slabs of childish humor are no more of a help. In the film’s defense, the target audience is likely also childish, or at least, child-ish. On that basis perhaps some slack needs to be cut? Yet I couldn’t help thinking, “It was acceptable in the 80s, it was acceptable at the time…”

Dir: Tso Nam Lee
Star: Hsiao-Lao Lin, Yukari Oshima, Jack Long, Hai-Hsing Li

Magic Warriors

  By

★★★
“Lin-sanity rides once again.”

I am going to be entirely upfront, and state that any factual statements regarding the plot here will be entirely cribbed from other sources. Because, on my own, I have close to no clue as to the details of what was going. I got that some girl dressed as a guy, Little Flying Dragon (Lin, inevitably) was trying to protect Golden Boy (Chan) from a bunch of very strangely dressed weirdos with even more bizarre powers. They want Golden Boy for some nefarious purpose on behalf of an evil sorcerer type, who laughs maniacally. A lot. Everyone involved wears wigs which look like they were bought in bulk from Hair Metal R Us. There’s an acid pit, into which Golden Boy’s father is unceremoniously dropped. His mother is called “Evil Lady” in the subtitles, though she isn’t really. At one point, there’s a song whose lyrics according to the subs go, “Little Flying Dragon, Little Flying Dragon, change all the time, power breads everything.”

You will understand my confusion.

Actually, I’m not going to bother with a more coherent description of the plot elements, because in the final analysis, they don’t particularly matter. It’d be like spending 500 words discussing background to the 1998 Hell in a Cell match, when what actually counts, is Mankind getting thrown off the cage and through a table. Any story here is simply an excuse for the usual combination of high-flying action and low-brow humour. We’ve seen them present in earlier, similar Lin-powered entries such as Magic of Spell, yet it feels like the makers felt the need to one-up themselves here, in both departments. The kung-fu feels more well-assembled and, though still significantly wire-powered, there’s clearly no shortage of skill from the performers. On the other hand, you get a steady stream of jokes about urine, farts and excrement: Golden Boy seems to have got his name from the first of these. If you find someone mistaking pee for tea the peak of comedy, you’re going to love this.

Me, not so much, and again, I find myself unable to figure out the target audience here. For every element which seems squarely targeted at a nine-year-old audience, there’s one which seems heavily inappropriate, such as Evil Lady projectile vomiting blood into a lake. Maybe the Taiwanese pre-teen audience is just considerably more resilient? It’s still not quite my cup of tea (or pee, I guess), with the more childish elements not to my taste. However, I think I did enjoy this one a bit more than Spell, with what felt like better pacing and a particularly rousing finale in the villain’s lair. I’d not be willing to take a test on the plot, what with people changing sides at the drop of a small child. Yet this is one of those cases where you simply need to, in the words of the great philosopher Adele, “Let it go, let it go…”

Dir: Yan-Chien Chuang, Tso Nam Lee
Star: Hsiao-Lao Lin, Chan Yin-Yu, Alexander Lo Rei, Chen Shan