Tag: a

Armitage III: Poly Matrix

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★★½
“Why’d they create me?” Seems a valid question to this viewer…

As a rule, we don’t watch dubbed anime, finding it a painful experience; unfortunately, this version, which compacts four OAVs into a feature, is only available in English. However, it’s not too awful, helped considerably by Sutherland’s comfortingly flat tones – in the seven years since this was originally released, his career has been revived, courtesy of 24 [co-star Berkeley, meanwhile, is still struggling to overcome her starring debut in Showgirls]. What does seem to have hurt, is the editing down, which leaves the storyline struggling for cohesion.

Chicago cop Syllabus (Sutherland) arrives on Mars and is immediately thrown into the investigation of a series of “murders”. Quotes used advisedly – what’s being systematically killed are “Thirds”, robots that are almost indistinguishable from humans. He’s paired with local officer Naomi Armitage (Berkeley), who has an aggressive approach and is a Third herself; the two have to solve the case while coming to terms with their own prejudices (Syllabus) or self-esteem, heritage and sense of being (Armitage).

In other words, the usual robot angst found in anime, such as Ghost in the Shell and Battle Angel. And this is really the problem, with little here we haven’t seen, and animation that is nothing special. There’s some imagination in the setting, and interesting hints at political conspiracy, but the detail has apparently been discarded in the race to get everything over in 90 minutes. The full-length, original language version is almost certainly a better place to start.

Dir: Takuya Sato
Star (voice): Kiefer Sutherland, Elizabeth Berkeley, Dan Woren, Wanda Nowicki

Angel on Fire

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★★½
“Dumb but not irredeemable – never mind the quality of the action, look at the quantity!”

Supermodel-thief Mimi (Melanie Marquez) steals an artifact from a Chinese temple, then heads to the Philippines, via Hong Kong. HK and Chinese cops (Khan & Yeung) are on her tail, as is former partner Ko. This is, frankly, a mess. Yeung apparently does no detective work; Khan goes on a date to an illegal street fight; they’re supposedly partners, but only share one scene; and what is the stolen item? It’s only ever called “the precious thing” (at least in the sub version; even we wouldn’t touch the dub [right] with a ten-foot pole). I found it all amusing rather than irritating; your mileage may vary…

Actionwise, it largely explodes in the lengthy finale which occupies about thirty minutes, sprawls across what seems like most of the Philippines, and fails to make much sense either – we certainly lost track of who was doing what to who. While Yeung is hardly allowed to act, she does get a couple of good fights, but the wire-work is poor, with one especially obvious harness. On the other hand, Khan’s martial-arts abilities are underused, and she gets to spend time hanging out with that apparently rare breed, an honest taxi-driver (Ricketts). A couple of decent moments, and Khan’s usual watchability, lift this up to just about acceptable, though only if you are in a forgiving mood.

Dir: Phillip Ko
Star: Cynthia Khan, Philip Ko, Sharon Yeung, Ronnie Ricketts

Alias: season two

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★★★★
“The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together…”

I’ve literally sprinted through from the living-room, where the two-hour season finale has just finished, leaving an aching void in our Sunday evenings that will remain until the third season starts in the fall. It was hard to see how the second series could live up to the first but, with a few relatively minor misgivings, it’s safe to say that the show has.

alias2Would have to admit that the start was somewhat slow. It was hardly a surprise to discover that most of the characters who were “dead” at the end of the first series made a miraculous comeback in the second. It’s exactly the sort of thing you expect from shows like this, and you wonder why they even bother. Indeed, much of the first half of the series was too predictable, revolving around the can-or-can’t Sydney trust her mother dilemma. No prizes for guessing the right answer there either.

The recovery began when ABC handed Alias the coveted post-Superbowl slot (though once the score in the game reached 34-3, its impact on ratings for Alias became doubtful). Still, it proved a pivotal episode, giving Abrams a chance to reinvent the show, and introduce it to a whole new audience too lazy to change the channel (due to overconsumption of beer and nachos, probably). This was apparent in some rather clunky back-exposition, and also an opening which featured Sydney in two sets of lingerie – a shameless, gratuitous piece of shallow exploitation, clearly designed to appeal to nobody but the gridiron fans. :-) They probably mistook it for another Victoria’ Secret commercial…

Luckily, there was a lot of actual content, too: The CIA moved in to take SD-6 down, and from then on, no longer was Sydney struggling to maintain her secret lives. The show would become a quest for Sloane, trying to stop him before he…well, no-one was quite sure what he was up to, but it never seemed likely to involve puppies and flowers. This episode also marked the start of an increasing body-count with one character murdered and replaced by an evil doppelganger, while later on, two spouses would also bite the dust.

With the Rambaldi story making a welcome reappearance, the season picked up steam, helped by cool guest stars: Rutger Hauer, Danny Trejo & David Carradine (a Buddhist monk!) – we just needed Udo Kier and we’d have been in cult heaven. Apparently lost in the duplicitous double-crossing was the action element, a disappointing facet. For example, not until the last 10 minutes of the two-hour season finale did Sydney get in some serious butt-kicking; we wondered if this was connected with Garner’s apparent weight gain. Too much comfort ice-cream after her recent break-up? Perhaps; though if she’s pregnant, you heard it here first.

With so many threads too, the story arcs seemed disjointed: in some cases, you’d go for weeks without hearing anything, before an abrupt reappearance. However, a continuing strength was the development of the supporting cast, with Sloane switching from evil mastermind to sympathetic antihero, even within the course of a single episode. Dixon, too, enjoyed a spectacular character arc over the second half, going from committed SD-6 employee to a borderline psychopath, whose obsession with catching Sloane surpassed even Sydney’s.

Our favourite episode of the season had beloved uber-geek Marshall going on a mission to London with Sydney. It combined action, humour, drama and pathos to great effect, ending with one of the best cliffhangers the series has yet managed – admittedly, we speak as big Marshall fans, and look forward to the character receiving a spinoff series. Hey, if it can happen to a mopey vampire, anything’s possible.

Fortunately, the Vaughn/Bristow romantic angle that begin to lurk, iceberg-like, towards the end of season one, has been played subtly enough that we are mostly able to ignore it. More remarkably, the Will/Francie relationship managed to become a genuine plot thread, thanks to a startling twist which raised the hairs on the back of our necks every time they shared a scene. Let’s just say that Francie isn’t the woman she used to be. :-)

Despite ratings that generally remain disappointing – it ranked only 92nd in prime-time shows – Alias was still renewed, a decision for which ABC can only be commended. However, they still seem uncertain about how to promote the show. Here we are, two seasons down, still waiting for the first to arrive on DVD – they could learn a lot from Fox, which got a huge boost to the ratings for the second run of 24 from the first’s availability on disc. [By coincidence, both Alias Season 1, and 24 Season 2 are scheduled for DVD release on September 2nd, 2003]

So where do we go in Series 3? We still have the Rambaldi machine; assembly now complete, but expect further machinations as they piece together the instruction manual, and discover they need a 240/110V convertor. :-) It looked for a moment like we would be missing one major character (who finally Got The Point), but sounds like he’s okay. However, the main thread appears to be Sydney, and her efforts to recover from what could simply be the mother of all hangovers – I mean, I sometimes wondered how I got home, but at least I usually woke up on the same continent. Funnily enough, I suspect there might be rather more to her blackout than one too many Babychams. The truth probably lies somewhere between that, and abduction by aliens, but we’ll have to wait until autumn to find out.

Star: Jennifer Garner, Victor Garber, Michael Vartan, Ron Rifkin

Alias: season one

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★★★★
“Run Sydney Run”

“My name is Sydney Bristow. Seven years ago I was recruited by a secret branch of the CIA called SD-6. I was sworn to secrecy, but I couldn’t keep it from my fiancé. And when the head of SD-6 found out, he had him killed. That’s when I learned the truth: SD-6 is not part of the CIA. I’d been working for the very people I thought I was fighting against. So, I went to the only place that could help me take them down. Now I’m a double agent for the CIA, where my handler is a man named Michael Vaughn. Only one other person knows the truth about what I do: another double agent inside SD-6. Someone I hardly know…my father.”

“It’s everything you want, and more.” That was Chris’s opinion – I was kinda stuck for the right way to start, and as always, she delivered. As, indeed, Alias pretty much delivers, with a crunchy-yet-chewy first series that juggled drama, action and comedy to fine effect, twisting the plot frequently. One problem in TV drama is that you must allow viewers to tune in at any point and rapidly work out what was going on, and former Felicity scribe J.J. Abrams does so in less than 150 words – see above for the heroine’s monologue which opens each show.

The 22 episodes cover a struggle for control of medieval technology, Nostradamus-style prophecy, and other organizations (good and bad), plus Sidney’s missing mother, ongoing relationship with her father, and perpetual struggle to keep her friends from suffering the same fate as her late fiancee. Each episode contains elements of major and minor story arcs, propelling them alone, yet also stands up well on its own.

After a breathless start in which it seemed that Abrams used every conceivable plot device inside three episodes, he wisely moved into new territory. In particular the introduction of Rambaldi, perhaps the show’s most interesting character, who has actually been dead for several centuries. A Da Vinci-esque inventor, he left pieces of his inventions, and clues to their operation, hidden around the globe, and SD-6 are now on a scavenger hunt to find and utilise these, with Sydney their main operative. The CIA are doing exactly the same, also using her to stay one step ahead of SD-6.

alias1Garner is a good choice to play Sydney, a no-nonsense character who is never one to sit back when confronted with problems. She comes across as a well-rounded person with her own fears and doubts, rather than some kind of Bond-esque superspy. But perhaps the show’s greatest strength is the spectrum of supporting actors, who give the show depth when it could easily become a disjointed series of Lara Croft-like escapades. Marshall, SD-6’s “Q”, provides gadgets and geeky humour, while especial kudos are due to Ron Rifkin as SD-6 head Arvin Sloane. The man who orders the death of Sydney’s fiancee could easily have been a two-dimensional bad guy, but by the end of the show, you feel a great deal more sympathetic to his problems.

The influences are plentiful and obvious, most plainly Nikita and the (let’s be honest, rather lame) TV series which subsquently followed. There’s also a helping of Run Lola Run in there; creator Abrams listened to the soundtrack “almost incessantly” while writing the show, and has said, tongue in cheek, that he demands one scene of his heroine running in every episode. He certainly gets it, even if this does become a little predictable. The action quota generally is variable, but usually well-staged, with Garner doing more action than you might expect. And anyone that gets to beat up guest-star Quentin Tarantino wins my approval (at least it took him away from making more dire films!).

Though Sydney occasionally has romantic dalliances, she is somewhat unlucky in love – these men have an unfortunate tendency to die suddenly, and in one case, at Sydney’s own hands. This is probably a good thing, since I’m no fan of Unresolved Sexual Tension, finding it gets in the way of more important elements. Want romance? Go read Mills & Boon! This is an action series, after all, and I’d rather have Sydney kicking ass than going all gooey-eyed over, say, CIA handler Vaughn (Vartan). Their relationship is the subject of much fan fiction, but the ending of the first series would appear to have put the dampers on that department. [If you saw the finale, you’ll appreciate the particular viciousness of this comment]

Season one ended on a dramatic high with four characters potentially biting the big one, though no actual corpses were seen. Given this, and the twisty nature of the show in general, I think it’s safe to say a number of them will find a way to come back in the next series. I’m already looking forward to it.

Star: Jennifer Garner, Victor Garber, Michael Vartan, Ron Rifkin

Aeon Flux (animation)

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★★★★
“State of flux”

Difficult though it may be to credit, especially for younger readers, there was a time when watching MTV could actually be interesting occasionally, back in the days when the station had its own animation division. The best-known product to seep out was Beavis and Butthead, but more interesting was Aeon Flux, perhaps the most dense and impenetrable animated series to reach a wide audience – even if the general reaction was “Eh?”

It debuted as part of Liquid Television, and right from the start, makes an impression with its lack of dialogue, weird design and astonishingly high body-count. The first series of mini-eps depicted the mission of an apparent secret agent, Aeon Flux, who comes within moments of solving the case of a mysterious epidemic, only to meet an untimely death. Undaunted, the second series had a variety of cases, whose only real linking theme was the repeated untimely death of Aeon.

aeonanThen MTV commissioned some 25-minute episodes, and things inevitably started to mutate. The characters started to speak (gasp!), but anyone who thought this meant it would become easy to understand was in for a shock – if anything, it added an extra new dimension of complexity. More of the setting was exposed: two countries, Monica and Bregna, of opposite character and once united, but now in perpetual tension. Extra characters were added, most notably Trevor Goodchild, the Breen leader, whose relationship with Aeon (a Monican “agent”?) is perhaps the central focus of the series.

“What I was trying to go for was a kind of ambivalence.” So said creator Peter Chung, and as ambivalence goes, there’s little doubt he succeeded – rarely has a show hidden its light quite as effectively. Very little is laid out for easy consumption, and each episode repays, and indeed demands, repeat viewings. Every action and line of dialogue sometimes seems to have multiple meanings.

If it has a weakness, it is perhaps too obscurist, and you wonder whether the show is quite as deep as it wants you to think. In addition, there are parts which, however stylish, just don’t seem to make sense. But Aeon is a fabulous character, who in the words of Chung, “is not someone who reacts to things. She makes things happen…she’s a force for change as opposed to the status quo”, and the combination of intelligence and malevolent brute force is immensely appealing. Chung again: “I think it’s undeniable that there’s a certain glamour or a certain seductive power of violence on film. Her whole design and the way she looks, the way she moves is engineered purely to evoke that attraction.”

A feature version of Aeon Flux has occasionally been hinted at (Liz Hurley would seem a leading candidate for any live-action version!), but at the moment seems somewhat unlikely, especially with MTV having now folded their Animation Division. Chung has moved on too, first to work on Phantom 2040, whose characters are clearly cut from the same cloth, in their spidery style, and then off to the Far East, for an animated series based on the life of, I kid you not, Alexander the Great. Whether anything created in his future will be as memorable, intense and downright impenetrable as Aeon Flux is surely in doubt.

Creator: Peter Chung
Star: (voice) Denise Poirier, John Rafter Lee

Amazons (1986)

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★★
“More Argentinian sword ‘n’ sorcery: mostly harmless.”

It’s amusing to see that even New Concorde – who released it – don’t seem to have watched the film, their website describing it as “about the legendary lost tribe of warrior women”. Er, no: the A word doesn’t actually get used in the movie, which is really about the quest for a legendary sword, the only thing which stands between an evil sorcerer and world domination.

There’s something irresistible about a film where it sometimes feels like characters were given names by pulling letters from a Scrabble bag – the sword of Zjiqkl – and for half the movie, we were prepared to swear one villain was called Al Gore. Sadly, it was Balgur. Ah, well, never mind. There’s certainly plenty going on, with plots, treachery, topless human sacrifice, bad blood and an alternate dimension largely realised with dry ice and strobe lights.

The action, unfortunately, sucks, though credit is due to Randolph for struggling with a lethargic snake, making it look like the most ferocious attack in cinematic history. Not sure the animals here were monitored by the American Humane Society either… Less bondage-heavy than the other Argentinian Corman productions, the nudity is still frequent. It’s kinda neat how no-one really makes a fuss about the warriors being female, but this is, at best, a passable waste of 80 minutes.

Dir: Alex Sessa
Star: Windsor Taylor Randolph, Penelope Reed, Joseph Whipp, Danitza Kingsley

The Avenging Quartet

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★★
“Enormous potential, largely wasted thanks to dreadful script.”

Add supporting roles for Michiko Nishiwaki and Yukari Oshima to Khan and Lee, and you should have a winner, all four being in perhaps the top half-dozen or so action heroines from Hong Kong. Yet while the fights here are grand, the film wastes far too much effort elsewhere. Khan is a Chinese cop who comes to Hong Kong and bumps into gangstress Lee while looking for former lover Waise Lee, who is a) also Lee’s love, and b) now involved with a painting that hides documentation on Japanese wartime human experiments, which Nishiwaki is trying to sell to Oshima. Like I said, far too much effort (if you want to know about those experiments, track down the grim but jaw-dropping Men Behind the Sun).

The opening act is particularly dire, consisting largely of Cynthia Khan wandering round looking pouty, while “If he only loved meeeee…” music plays, followed by female bonding with Moon – Chris started complaining of cramps around this time. We can hardly blame the actresses, who do what they can; a decent writer would have dealt with this in five minutes, and could then have spent time on Oshima, who has absolutely no character development. The good thing is, you soon learn that when she appears, a fight will shortly follow.

Things do perk up later on; after all the oestrogen, Chin Kar Lok is welcome light relief as an amusing dumb cop, and the finale is excellent, with echoes of Thelma and Louise. However, it’s too little, too late. It’s worth pointing out that while the title and artwork imply some kind of team-up, as in The Heroic Trio, the reality is unfortunately totally different, and nowhere near as interesting.

Dir: Stanley Siu Wing
Stars: Cynthia Khan, Moon Lee, Waise Lee, Chin Kar Lok
a.k.a. Tomb Raiders

American Rampage

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★
“Gratuitous nudity + gay director = bad idea.”

While not averse to the idea of gratuitous nudity in movies, this movie presents some of the most startlingly unattractive examples I’ve seen in some time – but then, director Decoteau is now making (more or less openly) gay-interest movies, so his judgement in such things is highly suspect. Even the heroine, Detective Samantha York, is…well, let’s be kind and say “homely”, though this could count as refreshing realism, given LAPD officers don’t win many beauty contests. I would like to think, however, that they are better shots; York couldn’t hit a barn if she was standing inside it.

This may help explain why she goes through cop partners at a rate of almost one per gratuitous nude scene (brief appearances by 80’s scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer may interest some). She is supposed to be unravelling a drug cartel, but any narrative drive is completely lost when the brother of one of her late partners embarks on his own rambling quest for revenge. The most fun we had was watching star Kary J (sic) stumble over her dialogue – no wonder the IMDB chooses to ignore her contribution. That, and one blood-squib spatter onto the lens provide the only moments of interest. Watch out for my copy, coming to an Ebay near you, soon.

Dir: David Decoteau
Star:Kary J, Thomas Elliott, Troy Donahue, Otis P. Longhorn

Assault of the Killer Bimbos

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★
“Thelma and Louise without the talent.”

killerbimbosTo its credit, this 1988 film did at least predate Ridley Scott’s girls-with-guns flick. To its debit, it is vastly less successful on just about every level, though at least the script avoids Callie Khouri’s feminazi-claptrap which almost sank T&L. Although both films have two women on the run, here, they (Whitaker and Kaitan) are innocent of the crime for which they are sought – the murder of a sleazy club-owner – though legally speaking, their kidnapping of a waitress (Souza) is probably rather questionable.

This thrown-together threesome is the film’s sole redeeming grace, all the actresses bringing at least some life to their characters, and the interplay between the veteran, the novice and the downtrodden wage-slave is not painful to watch. If only the rest could be said for the male actors, who are without exception abominable and drain the life out of the movie every time they open their mouths. Caricature is one thing; bad writing and bad acting, quite another.

The film limps along into “Mexico” before the trio resolve their problems, Kaitan (or her body double) flashes her tits occasionally, and we, as an audience, can only contemplate how this one was obviously made in the following order:

  • Come up with the title.
  • Get the financing.
  • Hire cast and crew.
  • Book locations.
  • Arrive at locations.
  • Anything else we need?
  • Oops. Write a script.

Dir: Anita Rosenberg
Star: Elizabeth Kaitan, Christina Whittaker, Tammara Souza

Amazons and Gladiators

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★★★★
“Xena: The Early Years meets Gladiator.”

Benefiting from a slew of decent performances, A&G manages to surpass most of the competition and become a worthy entry in the “gladiatrix” sub-genre. This is perhaps because the cast have been hired either because they can act or because they can fight, while simultaneously not embarrassing themselves in the other department. Pity poor Hiltz, who is in virtually every scene, yet doesn’t even get her name on the cover.

Things start badly, with an annoying child version of heroine Serena, witnessing – and partly responsible for – the death of her mother, as entertainment for governor Crassius (Bergin, a nicely-judged and slimy piece of creepiness). Fortunately, the grown-up version (Hiltz) is much less irritating, and ends up training for revenge with a band of Amazons, under their leader Zenobia, played by former Dr. Who assistant, Mary Tamm. [The real Zenobia was indeed a famous warrior-queen, in Syria around the 3rd century AD] Rubin is the master-sergeant who trains her, and Norton, a veteran villain in many a martial arts flick, gets to play the love interest for once, and does a pretty good job.

No real surprises in the plot, with everyone getting more or less what they deserve. But despite accents which roam the globe from Australia through England to America, it’s well-acted and well thought-out, with very few mis-steps. Rubin is excellent, exuding confidence in her role, while Hiltz looks as if she is able to tell one end of a sword from the other, yet with flaws which perpetually threaten to derail her quest for vengeance. Shot in Lithuania, if it’s tame enough to feel like a TV pilot, it’s one for a series I’d be keen to watch.

Dir: Zachary Weintraub
Star: Nichole M. Hiltz, Patrick Bergin, Richard Norton, Jennifer Rubin