★★½
“Death sentence.”
Zombies and jail aren’t quite as new an idea as you might think. The Walking Dead had a major arc which took place at a prison, the facility’s fences now more useful for keeping things out than in. And back in 2005, The Asylum released the (surprisingly decent) Dead Men Walking, about a zombie outbreak at a maximum security jail. But this is, as far as I know, the first to combine zombies with the women-in-prison genre. Admittedly, it skews considerably more toward the former. However, there’s no denying its place on this site, with its heroine being ex-Special Forces soldier Stone (Chanliau), now held in a black site in the North Atlantic.
She’s there because she allegedly killed a US Senator and his family, whom she was supposed to be bodyguarding. While there is rather more to that story than this, it doesn’t particularly matter. What matters is that she’s now on death row in the women’s wing, awaiting execution. After being attacked by another inmate, she’s moved to the prison infirmary, where she’s joined on the ward by someone from a different area, where dubious medical experiments are being carried out. That person then dies. If you noticed the Z-word in the first paragraph, you will be utterly unsurprised to hear they do not stay that way, and it’s not long before being behind bars is probably the safest place to be, for both prisoners and guards.
On the plus side, you have the advantage of the occupants largely being the hardest of hardened or vicious criminals. These are people for whom human life is cheap, and so the action required to survive are not something over which much sleep will be lost. The brutality is well up to the standard you’d expect for the genre, and the effects seem mostly of the practical kind, which I always prefer over CGI. It’s a solid enough location, offering no easy way out, with the authorities hovering, and ready to wipe everyone out (as in Return of the Living Dead) should it prove necessary. The minor pieces are this in place for a decent enough entry, albeit one which missed the sell-by date on the zombie craze by most of a decade.
The problems, however, are in… well, just about everywhere else. The script is a series of cliches, joined with dialogue where cliched would probably be an improvement. The characters never get past stereotypes, whether its sympathetic guard Brooks (McGinley), queen bee Butcher (Joseph) or cowardly warden Crowe (Garda). The zombies probably show more depth, and their actions are largely limited to shrieking and gnawing on faces. The further into this you get, the more apparent it becomes that imagination stopped at the overall scenario, and does not extend to constructing interesting roles or giving them lines which could credibly be spoken by actual people. Been a while since I’ve seen a film with such a gap between the technical elements and the artistic ones.
Dir: Russell Owen
Star: Jess Chanliau, Philip McGinley, Jennifer Joseph, Jane Garda
a.k.a. Patients of a Saint


If I were Ella Balinska, I’d be having a word with my agent. After seeing her major Hollywood career begin with the embarrassing failure of the
★★★★
Hearing that James Gunn, new head of the DC movie department at Warners, just recently announced David Corenswet and Rachel Brosnahan as the new actors to play Superman and Lois Lane in the next “Superman”-movie, I felt the need to find out more about these new actors. For Brosnahan I chose the movie I’m Your Woman, an Amazon Prime production from 2020. For one thing, she played the main role, and secondly a two-hour movie is much quicker to watch than a series like The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel. Sure, for that series she got two Golden Globes, one Emmy and two Screen Actors Guild Awards – but my time is a bit limited. Also, I prefer gangster movies over a dramedy show.
I think this makes it quite an unusual movie as – in contrast to many other movies – we are not immediately brought up to speed with an info-dump, so that we tie ourselves emotionally to Jean. As a result, the fear and tension she experiences are really palpable to us, too. We don’t know who Cal is and why he is helping her, or why people are after Jean. In my opinion, the movie is particularly successful in showing a female perspective, as part of something that would otherwise potentially have been just an ordinary gangster story. In the beginning, Jean does whatever she is told, while at the same time also trying her best to be a good mother to the little baby, even if her knowledge in this respect is also just rudimentary.
This is definitely an interesting idea, and potentially the most meta action heroine film I’ve seen. Cha Yeon-hee (Ahn) has wanted to be a movie heroine ever since she was a child, though it’s an ambition which has always eluded her – in part because of her refusal to work her way up in the industry. She eventually and grudgingly accepts a stunt double position in a historical swordplay film, and shows up on the set for her first day. However, due to circumstances involving a magical clapperboard (hence the title) and an inconvenient portal, she finds herself transported to a parallel dimension. It’s kinda like modern Korea in clothes and speech, but run by warlords and their sword-carrying minions.
The Charlotte club was formed in 2000, and based on what we see here, is as much a social organization as a sports club. There does appear to be quite a lot of consumption of adult beverages. But there’s no doubt, they take the sport seriously, and recruit from all round the area, both Irish and American players. On North America, teams can bring in experienced players from Ireland, known as “sanctions”, to help grow the sport. But some clubs do that to excess: Charlotte refuse to go that route, putting their team at a potential disadvantage compared to Boston, or their arch-rivals from San Francisco, the Fog City Harps. The film follows Charlotte as they develop their team, and take part in the 2016 and 2017 senior women’s tournament, for the best sides in North America. 
There seem to have been quite a few movies out of Europe over the past couple of years, about the female soldiers fighting in Kurdistan for independence with the PKK and related groups. French films
This felt oddly familiar, like I had watched it before. One scene in particular – a maintenance man comes to replace a light-bulb, only to become an apparent threat – had me
Not to be confused with the 2021 rape-revenge film of the same name (which I’ll get round to reviewing down the pipe), this is somewhat lighter in tone, though there’s a case to be made that this clashes terribly with the subject matter. Jenny (Hsu) is a journalist, working under Cheryl (Garofalo),and her work has brought her to the attention of an online stalker, who sends her increasingly disturbed and disturbing emails. When the harassment begins to move from the cyberworld into the real one, and the authorities fail even to reach the level of disinterest, Jenny teams up with room-mate Lisa (Morales), to hunt down the perpetrator and bring him to justice themselves.
Giving your film a title like this is basically asking for trouble. It gives snarky critics an extremely easy weapon to wield against the movie. That’s especially so when it’s a low-budget effort, made with considerably more heart than skill. It’s not without merit, especially in the photography. It is crisp and does a good job of capturing some beautiful Montana scenery – there’s a reason the state is nicknamed Big Sky Country – and the rodeo action. The problems are in a script which never met a cliché it didn’t like, and performances that do little or nothing to elevate the material.