★★½
“Creature from the Blue Lagoon”
After a boat-wreck, Jennifer Remming (Clemons) washes ashore on a deserted tropical island, and has to make do with what she can find and forage. While there are no other people on the island, she’s not alone. It becomes increasingly clear that a “something” is predating for food at night there. She eventually finds out what it is: a large, amphibious and very hungry creature, walking on two legs, and capable of dragging its prey back into its lair beneath the water. Needless to say, she’s delighted when two other survivors wash up in a lifeboat: her boyfriend Lucas (Cohen) and friend Mia (Mangan-Lawrence). But convincing them of the threat, and the need to get off the island immediately, is a little tricky, because it turns out Jennifer has a little history of making things up. However, “being eaten” turns out to be fairly convincing proof, as evidence goes…
Have to say, the first time we get to see the creature is glorious. After some warning signs have set the scene, such as a dead shark with claw marks on the side, it’s a great reveal, which literally gave me chills. The problem is, it’s also about the last time we get to see it. For its nocturnal nature means we have to deal with it only popping up in extremely subdued lighting. While this makes sense – it being a tropical island, there’s not exactly much natural light – it makes for an extraordinarily frustrating experience. Too often, the viewer has to peer into the murk, trying to figure out exactly who is doing what, and to whom. I can only presume this was done to enhance the tension in some “lurking in the darkness” way. If so, it’s remarkably counter-productive, triggering considerably more annoyance than terror.
I did like Jennifer as a heroine: she doesn’t seem to have particular survival skills, yet managed to make a good fist of things. Certainly, much better than I would have; I suspect I’d last on a desert island, only as long as my fat reserves permitted. I also appreciated the fairly linear nature of the film: Girl Meets Monster, Monster tries to kill Girl, Girl tries to kill Monster. If only The Shape of Water had gone this route. It does get rather less effective when it’s no longer a party of one, with the usual (and considerably less interesting) bickering which follows. However, the presence of other people is probably necessary: even Tom Hanks needed a supporting performance from a volleyball to sustain Castaway for its running-time.
After an aborted escape attempt, it all builds to the inevitable final confrontation. Which, conveniently, takes place in a relatively well-lit arena, courtesy of some torches. Once we get to see it, this is quite a cool monster – perhaps slightly influenced by what the Predator wore under its mask. Just a shame it doesn’t truly show up until the party is all but over. Between that and a script with too many loose ends, it one of those cases where the film isn’t as good as the trailer.
Dir: J.D. Dillard
Star: Kiersey Clemons, Emory Cohen, Hanna Mangan-Lawrence, Andrew Crawford


Revenge, as the saying goes, is a dish best served cold. Or, from another saying, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Illustrating both are the story told here. Jasmine Albertson had already gone through the lows and highs of life, before meeting and getting married to Stu. But when Stu’s business partner John Mickelson makes him take the fall for John’s embezzlement, leading to Stu’s suicide, Jasmine vanishes off the grid in Los Angeles. She moves to New York and sets her sights on a long-term plan to make John pay. And not financially: as she tells her gay best friend Tory, “I want him to know he fucked with the wrong people when he fucked over Stu and then me. I want him to suffer. And then I want to send him to hell.”
It’s the first day as a pizza delivery gal for Samantha Craft (Griffith), and things aren’t going well, with no tips being received. When given the chance of a delivery to a rich neighbourhood, she pounces – only to find herself getting stiffed again. This time, she sneaks in to demand her gratuity, which drops her in the middle of a satanic ceremony overseen by coven head, Danica Ross (Romijn). They’re attempting to summon Baphonet, but have hit a snag. Their intended vessel, Danica’s daughter Judy (Modine), no longer qualifies as a virgin, so Sam’s presence is highly convenient. For Sam? Not so much. Though perhaps to her benefit, there’s a bit of a power struggle in the coven, with Gypsy (Myrin) fed up of playing the second satanic banana to Danica.
Within about two minutes of starting this, I realized I had made a terrible mistake, and was watching something barely reaching the amateur level of film production. Still, I soldiered on – albeit for some loose definition of “soldiered” – until the bitter end, mostly so I could issue an informed warning about this to any prospective viewers. Maxine (Mitchell) is rather upset when she discovers her boyfriend, music video producer Lance (Watts) has been cheating on her with Lana (Bryant). Mind you, she’s clearly a bit unhinged already: for example, telling him she’s pregnant when she isn’t. So it’s not much of a surprise when her reaction to his two-timing is to kidnap Lance, tie him up in her basement and submit him to various indignities, along with seeking revenge on Lana. Which, apparently, includes sleeping with her father (Walker).
This takes place in the Indian city of Delhi, and despite the title and the poster, is really about two policewomen, almost equally. Title billing goes to Soni (Ohlyan), a young officer who is coming to terms with life after divorce from her husband, Naveen (Shukla). She is also the possessor of a fierce temper, which repeatedly gets her into trouble because she’s unable to keep her cool with suspects. Forced to play clean-up is her boss, superintendent Kalpana Ummat (Batra), who seems to see something of her younger self in Soni, as well as appreciating the junior cop’s potential. But there’s only so far she can protect Soni from the consequences of her outbursts.
The first volume in the Imp series, 
This is exactly the kind of “mismatched cop” film in which you’d expect to see Melissa McCarthy, if it was ever remade by Hollywood. Though since two decades later, McCarthy would star in
I should probably start by providing some background the film omits – likely because the intended Indian audience were well aware of it. In 2012, a notorious gang-rape took place in Delhi, the victim subsequently dying. Of the six attackers, four were sentenced to death and one committed suicide in prison – but the sixth, being a juvenile, could only receive a maximum sentence of three years. This loophole appalled many, including two journalists depicted in this film, Jyothi (Nivedhitha) and Divya (Karagada), who begin a campaign to revise the law.