Author: Jim McLennan

Sniper Goddess

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★★★★
“Spot on target.”

The Chinese title is 狙击之王：暗杀, which Google Translate informs me translates as “Sniper King: Assassination”. I don’t want to assume anyone’s gender, but I think I’m going to go with the alternate title above, as more appropriate, over the one on the poster. Because there’s no doubt about the amazing talents possessed by Anna (Yang), for whom a shot at three kilometers range is barely an inconvenience. We get right into the action with her being committed as a psychopath after begin captured, following her assassination of a drug lord. Yet another drug lord, actually – she has a deep hatred of them, for reasons we eventually discover, and has been taking them out with regularity.

It’s not long before someone tries to kill her in the psychiatric facility, but she’s able to escape (somewhat), with the help of struck-off former doctor, Nasipan (Tao). However, she is forced, with the aid of a nano-bomb injected into her bloodstream, to take a mission for Artest (Mak). There’s a war of succession going on in the country of “Libiwala”, with the prospect of drug production becoming legal in the country – to the joy of crime boss Roger (Lee). Artest requires Anna to liquidate all those in line for the leadership to prevent this. Or maybe encourage this. It’s all a bit murky, and the plot twists and turns until the very last scene, though never gets incoherent.

This one captivated me inside five minutes, with the hellacious firefight in the asylum, culminating in Anna sniping a sniper right through their scope. The action doesn’t let up for long thereafter, with some excellent set pieces involving both weapons and hand-to-hand combat. For the latter, Artest probably gets the bulk of it. But on the opposing side is a henchwoman who makes Gogo Yubari look like the picture of mental balance (I think she may be played by Guo Muhan, but I don’t recall hearing her name), and cuts a striking figure in her long blond hair and sword. It’s just one of the numerous things this film gets right, including occasional moments of comedy that genuinely made me laugh out loud, the movie winking at its own excesses. 

It’s simply a fun experience, with characters you can get behind, and an impressively strong anti-drug message. All the players are given depth to their roles, and the chance to develop them. Even the little kid, playing the third in line to the Libiwalian throne, is not irritating – and that’s high praise coming from me, as far as child actors go. All told, this is one of the most purely enjoyable ninety minutes I’ve spent of late, easily surpassing bigger budget films like Cleaner or The Gorge, and given my expectations, is likely going to be the most pleasant surprise of the year. The whole movie is embedded below. Take five minutes to check out the opening sequence, and see if it hooks you as well as it hooked me!

Dir: Huo Sui-qiang
Star: Yang Xing, Henry Prince Mak, Tao Tao, Lee Dong Hyuk
a.k.a. Sniper King: Assassination

Stuntwomen: The Untold Hollywood Story

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★★★½
“Intermittently awesome.”

Regular readers will already be aware of the long history of stuntwomen, going back a hundred years to the serial heroines of the silent era. But there’s still a lot to be learned from this documentary about these fearless, and largely unsung, daredevils. Narrated by Rodriguez, it’s mostly a series of discussions between OG stuntwomen, like Epper, who was Lynda Carter’s double in Wonder Woman (and who passed away earlier this year), and members of the current generation, such as Amy Johnston, of Lady Bloodfight fame. The anecdotes shared by the former are an often fascinating insight into the struggles to be taken seriously, in a time when many directors would rather slap a wig on a stuntman.

In comparison, the modern equivalents seem a little bland. It almost feels like the adversity through which Epper and her contemporaries went, reinforced their characters. I mean: doubling for Pam Grier, as David did, feels like it would be rather more of an influential experience than doubling for Scarlett Johansson. Not that this stops some of the modern stuntwomen from complaining about inequalities in the business. To be honest, this aspect does come off as a little whiny in nature. Rather more inspiring are statements like, “I didn’t want to be respected for a girl. I didn’t wanna be good for a girl. I just decided I was gonna be really good.” That’s the kind of attitude which I respect more than blaming sexism and racism. 

Another slight weakness is, it’s quite easy to lose track of who’s who, especially once you get past the main participants, and people you recognize. Not that there is much chance of failing to recognize Jessie Graff, of Ninja Warrior fame. Though it’s a little surprising Zoë Bell – arguably the best-known of modern stuntwomen, albeit a crown perhaps now passed to Graff – doesn’t merit more than a passing mention. It’s fun simply being a fly on the wall as Graff hangs out with her colleagues, bouncing on her trampoline, or watching renowned stunt driver Evans fake drag-racing with her son, and doing handbrake turns on the roads around their property. As Rodriguez enthuses, “I love that your neighbors are cool with all this.”

It is a little weird that the two male directors talked to are Paul Verhoeven and Paul Feig. Verhoeven is his usual entertaining self, but Feig comes over as almost smugly “right-on”. Mind you, if you’ve seen his painfully earnest Ghostbusters remake, you’ll understand his mindset. The documentary does take a rather chilling turn, though justifiably so, discussing the risks faced by all stunt performers, including fractures, concussions, paralysis and even death. It’s easy to overlook, especially now when we assume everything is green-screened or CGI. Some of the stories from the veterans, of the days when safety standards were… less stringent, shall we say, are staggering. You should certainly leave this with a deeper appreciation for those will to risk their lived and limbs, purely for your entertainment.

Dir: April Wrig
Star: Jeannie Epper, Debbie Evans, Michelle Rodriguez, Jadie David

Gold Raiders

  By

★½
“The Tomb was already booked, presumably”

To be fair, for most of the time, this was likely hovering around the two-star range. Not brilliant: it was rather obvious why this had taken six years from being shot, to receiving distribution. But there was some heart evident, and I look kindly on projects which appear to be trying. Unfortunately, we then reached the end, which was clearly intended to work as some kind of stone-cold cliffhanger. Regular readers will know my aversion to these in books. It’s far worse in a movie, especially where you know – given the time elapsed – there’s precious little chance of a sequel to provide any resolution. I’m sure the entire cast has moved on to other things since.

It’s the story of the Sierra sisters, Hera (Swenson) and Athena (Lee), who are part of a secret group called The Society. They have been feuding across the centuries against another secret group called The Order. Hera and Athena are now on the hunt for the lost treasure of the pirate Blackbeard, reported to be buried somewhere near the coast of Virginia. The sister think they have a good handle on it, and along with their local guides, head into the swampy territory in search of the buccaneer gold, guided by Hera’s psychic visions, which pop up conveniently, as needed by the plot. Naturally, The Order are also keen to get their hands on it, and not everyone in the Sierra’s party might be entirely trustworthy.

It begins with an unconvincing depiction of Blackbeard’s death and a somewhat rousing battle for a relic called the Eye of Quetzalcoatl. But once we get past that, the bulk of the movie consists of an awful lot of wandering around marshland here, in lieu of… well, anything much. For example, it might have been nice to have learned about the goals of both The Society and The Order, and why they have been pitted against each other for so long. Nah. Let’s instead just have another of Hera’s obscurist visions where figures, whose relevance remains uncertain, make cryptic statements like, “Remember, as I have risen, things can be buried – can be unburied. Your past journeys will reveal the clue to salvation.” Look, can’t you just email her a Powerpoint presentation?

It doesn’t help that, for a centuries old secret organization, the representatives of The Order are… well, a bit crap. There’s only about four of them to start, and let’s just say, rigorous competence doesn’t appear to be a requirement for selection. Mind you, when they do show an evil streak, shooting people dead in cold blood, Hera and Athena are so blase about it, that the moment is robbed of almost all power. Not that there’s a huge amount of power to begin with, even before we get to one of the most “Wait. Is that it?” endings in recent memory. Well played marketing department though, for the poster and changing the title from the original one of Sierra Sisters: The Hunt for Blackbeard’s Treasure.

Dir: Josh Relic
Star: Kathleen Swenson, Celeste Lee, James Blackburn, Sam Barber

Surrounded

  By

★★★
“Putting the stage in stagecoach.”

This is certainly a little different from the usual Western. It takes place a few years after the conclusion of the Civil War. Mo Washington (Wright) is on her way to Colorado to take up a piece of land she bought with her hard-earned savings. To avoid trouble on the journey, she is dressed as a man, though being black is problematic enough at that time. The stagecoach in which she’s travelling – or rather, on which, the driver not wanting a Negro inside – is attacked by brigands, led by notorious bank-robber Tommy Walsh (Bell). After a fierce fight, Walsh is captured, but the coach, complete with Mo’s documents, plunges off a cliff. 

The good news? There’s a ten thousand dollar bounty on Walsh’s head, and Washington is left to guard the fugitive while another passenger, Wheeler (Donovan), goes to fetch the authorities. The bad news? That leaves her alone with Walsh overnight, and there are others interested in the fugitive, including those after the reward, and the remaining members of the Walsh gang. Because he’s the only one who knows the whereabouts of the very large pile of loot, resulting from their last robbery. Mo is going to have to figure out who she can trust. For instance, is Walsh’s offer, to split the loot if she frees him, legit? It would certainly more than cover the losses she suffered when her Colorado land went over the edge.

As with the Hong Kong movies which use the gender disguise thing, it does require a large suspension of disbelief. As soon as Wright opens her mouth, any illusion of her being able to pass for male goes out the window of the stagecoach. On the other hand, gender is almost irrelevant as things unfold. I suspect eliminating the need for concealment would not have helped the intended moral here. The racial element however, is much more pertinent, with Mo having literally walked off her owner’s plantation. Yet there’s more in common with Walsh then it initially appears. Well, providing you accept at face value and trust his story, about being orphaned at age eight by robber land barons. Which might or might not be wise.

It’s in their scenes together where the film is at its strongest, even if they’re just sitting by the campfire, talking. If it feels almost like a play, this is still engrossing, two actors in prime form. Less successful is the arrival of a third party, not least because this leads to a poorly-staged fight, unfolding in near total darkness, where it was impossible to see what was happening. Maybe it worked better in the cinema? At home, it severely took me out of the experience, staring at a blank screen. Fortunately, this recovers to a decent finale, with Mo deciding she is the only person she can truly trust. In the end though, her character seems less fully-rounded than Walsh, despite, or perhaps because of, all the talk. As a result, this only intermittently fulfills its undeniable potential. 

Dir: Anthony Mandler
Star: Letitia Wright, Jamie Bell, Jeffrey Donovan, Michael Kenneth Williams

Planet Urth, by Jennifer and Christopher Martucci

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Literary rating: ★★
Kick-butt quotient: ☆☆☆½

This is written by a husband and wife duo, which is a nice idea. I wonder how Chris would react if I suggested writing a novel to her? Unfortunately, the results are a little disappointing. It feels like the execution is better than the idea – usually it’s the other way around. For example, this is a post-apocalyptic scenario, except the book never details in more than the vaguest terms, what happened. It’s disposed of in about one page: a war, involving both bio- and nuclear weapons. Some humans went underground; those who didn’t, became “grotesquely distorted” mutants and calling themselves Urthmen. We’re now 200 years later, and they are still seeking to wipe out the dwindling number of “real” humans who abandoned their bunkers for some reasons. Those include Avery, in her late teens, and her sister, eight-year-old June, orphaned by the death of both parents: Mom killed by Urthmen, Dad… just kinda died, I guess.

They’re barely clinging on to life, in the face of all the perils around them. As well as the Urthmen, there are other nasties, such as “Lurkers” – also mutated, nocturnal wolf-like creatures – giant spiders, etc. However, hope arises when Avery discovers another family when hunger forces her to roam further than usual on a hunting expedition. This consists of the parents and three children, one of who is about Avery’s age, Will. And you can probably predict, Avery immediately falls for Will, and spends the rest of the book utterly gushing about him – “His eyes are a brilliant blue-green, pale, like tropical water I once saw in a picture, and his hair is a dark as a raven’s feathers.” Never mind the imminent, omnipresent threat of brutal death, or the daily struggle for survival. There’s a cute boy in the area, and of course he must be made frequent, repetitive gooey eyes at!

The other problem is June, who is the most middle-aged eight-year-old I’ve ever seen. While it is mentioned how “mature” she is for her age, June’s dialogue is thoroughly unconvincing, spouting lines like, “Be safe, Avery, You are my sister and my best friend,” or “Something is different about you, Avery. Something happened that you’re not telling me about.” While my knowledge of children is (mercifully!) limited, my grandkids certainly do not speak in that way. But when it’s just the heroine, this has its moments. There’s a sequence where she falls into a giant spider’s web, and it’s one of the more horrific and disturbing things I’ve read this year.  The action in general is well-handled, though again, the ease with which Urthmen get dispatched – two adults and two teenagers wipe out a raiding party of “more than a dozen” – dilutes their threat considerably. While I reached the end okay, I’m just not interested in more romantic tension, unresolved or not, or pre-teens who sound like English lit majors.

Author: Jennifer and Christopher Martucci
Publisher: Self-published, available through Amazon, both as a paperback and an e-book
Book 1 of 6 in the Planet Earth series.

The Girl of Destiny

  By

★★★
“Lost in translation.”

I’m very cautiously giving this one our middest of mid-tier ratings, which I reserve the right to change in future. Because this one showed up on one of the… “less official”, let’s say Chinese movie channels on YouTube. While the likes of Youku and iQiyi make the effort to deliver subtitles which are typically at least intelligible, I’d say the subs here reached such a level, only about one line in five. Then I still had to figure out cultural context for this period piece, which also seemed to reference local folklore. I guess I should be grateful the soundtrack here was intact. The previous night, I’d watched another film on the same channel which, I kid you not, had random bursts of musak injected, presumably to avoid YouTube’s automated copyright system.

I have to discuss all this, because consequently, I really can’t describe the plot in more than the vague terms. It takes place in Shang Dynasty China, the earliest period for which there’s evidence, when the country was under threat from invasion by the Luo people. A heroine arose to stand against them, Fu Hao (You), who was destined by fate to be the country’s saviour. [There’s something here about her being descended from a heavenly bird, but I am absolutely vague on the details there!] She teams up with the Emperor’s heir, Wu Ding (Ma), despite the objections of his father. For the emperor wants him to marry a noble-born, yet less heroic woman (Li), rather than a peasant girl like Fu Hao.

It reminds me of the various versions of the Mulan legend, with a plucky heroine coming out of nowhere, when the country needs her most. There doesn’t appear to be quite the same element of needing to hide her identity; though for reasons discussed above, it’s hard to tell. I will say, it looks better than I anticipated, with some impressively large-scale battles. I was a bit concerned they were going to make her fly, in line with her avian lineage. Fortunately, Fu Hao’s talents appear to lie particularly in things like mountain climbing; there’s a nice moment where she and Wu Ding jump out a high window to escape, landing on a kite being flown by an ally.

If the broad strokes here are all decent, there’s a severe lack of detailed depth – again, that may be me more than the film. It does also feel rather comfortable and safe. It ended up exactly where I expected – she basically sends the Luo leader home, after giving him a good telling-off – and I don’t think any significant plot development (of the ones I understood!) came as the slightest surprise. I get the sense it may have been quite jingoistic, pitting the heroic Chinese against evil foreign invaders. Hardly the first there, and it wasn’t especially egregious. If this ever appears in a more intelligible version, I’ll probably give it a re-review. I feel it deserves that.

Dir: Dong Wei
Star: You Jingru, Ma Xueyang, Ma Shuliang, Li Linfei

Cleaner

  By

★★
“DEI Hard.”

Director Campbell recently appeared here with the entertaining Dirty Angels, and I was hoping for more of the same here. Sadly, I came away disappointed. There are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, Daisy Ridley is not Eva Green. That’s OK. After all, only Eva Green is Eva Green. But it’s still an issue. A bigger problem though, is likely the unashamed way thus is a knockoff of a certain Bruce Willis movie, and Daisy Ridley is not Bruce Willis either. Here, she plays Joey Locke, a former soldier now working as a window-cleaner in a skyscraper owned by Evil Corporation Inc. They’re actually called something else, but I’ve already forgotten what, in the two hours since. 

She also has to care for an autistic brother, Michael (Tuck), who is alternately utterly useless and a wiz with computers, depending on what the script needs at that moment. She ends up having to take him to work, and – what are the odds? – it’s the very same evening a group of eco-terrorists under Marcus Blake (Owen) and his lunatic sidekick, Noah (Skylar). will storm the building. Their intention is to blow the lid off Evil, Inc’s dirty little secrets. In the nasty little corners of the Internet where Luigi Mangione is a hero, they’re probably the good guys. It’s all fashionably murky, but another demerit: Skylar isn’t anywhere close to Alan Rickman. Owen might have worked, but for reasons, he’s not the main bad guy.

The film is, at least, considerably shorter than its inspiration. Although it feels this was obtained by removing most of the stuff which made Die Hard such fun. Instead, Joey is left dangling outside the building for too long, exchanging vaguely sisterly dialogue with the police inspector on the ground. It’s painfully notable that the competent people in this film are, almost without exception, wonen. In the middle act especially, it feels very much like the script was not so much written (by three human beings, apparently), as constructed by a Democratic focus group, circa September 2024. Occupy Wall Street! Climate change! Disability representation! Vote Kamala! Sorry, dunno how that slipped in. By the time we get to Joey actually kicking terrorist butt, I was largely checked out. 

There are some positives. The relationship between Joey and Michael is sweet, and kudos to the film for casting a genuinely autistic actor. Campbell also has enough of a track record in action, he could do this sort of thing in his sleep. Though, except for the opening scene, a flashback to twenty years earlier, there is rarely a sense Joey is genuinely dangling hundreds of feet off the ground [contrast Fall]. Ridley does enough with her part to suggest she may have a decent future in the action genre. She’ll need to pick better scripts, however, and the same goes for Campbell. Dirty Angels had its flaws, to be sure. It was still several notches more entertaining than this. 

Dir: Martin Campbell
Star: Daisy Ridley, Taz Skylar, Matthew Tuck, Clive Owen

13 Steps of Maki: The Young Aristocrats

  By

★★★½
“Light pink(y)”

Made by Toei, this is very much a straightforward “pinky violence” film in concept, telling the story of the Wildcats and, in particular, their leader Maki Hyuga. What separates this – in ways both good and bad – from the pack is that Maki is played by Sue Shiomi, best known for her roles in the Sister Streetfighter series of films. That means the action in this is considerably improved on the typical pinky violence movie, with Shiomi capable of holding her own, even when fighting many opponents. In particular, her skills with a pair of nunchaku is a sight to behold. The scenario here provides plenty of opportunities for her to show all her abilities off.

However, the downside is that Shiomi is simply too “good” to play a bad girl. When you put her beside the titans of the genre, like Meiko Kaji or Reiko Ike, Shiomi just does not have the necessary edge to succeed as the leader of an all-female gang of delinquents. Any group led by Shiomi would, I feel, be more likely to sell you cookies or help old ladies across the road, than beat you up and take your lunch money. It’s notable that, while this is certainly not short on the nudity required in the field, Shiomi remains firmly attached to her clothes. Others take care of this onerous duty, with the heroine instead providing the second half of the sex ‘n’ violence recipe.

The story sees Maki running foul of Yakuza chief Ryunosuke Daimon (Nawa) after rescuing a girl from his white slavery operation, and also annoying rich bitch Takako Ebihara (Ohara). Their revenge ends in Maki being framed and sent to prison, while the rest of her gang get hooked on smack by Daimon, and turned into compliant slaves. However, she gets help from an unexpected quarter, in the form of Daimon’s top bodyguard Tetsuya Eto (Nanjô), an honourable ex-boxer who grows increasingly unhappy with his boss’s sleazy business practices. Takako is also unimpressed when she discovers she’s going to be married off to Daimon, whether she wants to be or not. That comes after he has blown up Takako’s father with a car-bomb.

Things unfold as you’d expect. Maki wins the respect of her cell-mates, breaks out and, with Tetsuya are her back, storms the headquarters of Daimon’s yakuza clan, just as he is in the process of getting married to Takako. She’s not there to bring the gang boss a toaster or some nice crockery. If almost entirely predictable, the presence of Shiomi, and resulting upgrade in the quality of the fight sequences does make it feel relatively fresh in style – just not in content. The main factor which stops it reaching the top tier for the genre is the sense Shiomi is almost cos-playing as a bad girl, something you never doubted with the Queens of Pinky Violence. There’s good reason she only dabbled in this field.

Dir: Makoto Naitô
Star:Etsuko Shihomi, Misa Ohara, Tatsuya Nanjô, Hiroshi Nawa

Lady With a Sword

  By

★★★
“Can’t argue with that title.”

This was originally titled after its heroine, but since that obviously wouldn’t work in the West, it was changed to become about as generic a title as you could get. Behind this is a decent little flick, which is also worthy of note, because it may be the first Shaw Brothers action film to be directed by a woman. Pao-Shu Kao had been an actress with the studio since 1958, but this ended up being her sole movie as director for Shaw, as she started her own company, Park Films, with her husband. But this, her debut, is the highest-rated on the IMDb of the eleven features she helmed, at a respectable 6.8.

The heroine is Feng Fei Fei (Ho), who gets distressing news when her nephew, Hu Tou (Meng) shows up. He narrowly escaped with his young life after he and his mother, Fei Fei’s sister, were set upon by brigands, with Mom being killed. Fei Fei isn’t having that, so immediately sets out to take revenge on those responsible. She tracks down the first one, but this is where things get awkward. Because it turns out he’s Chin Lien Pai (Nam), the scion of a family friend, and worse, is the person to whom Fei Fei has been betrothed since they were young. While it’s a bit vague on the details, I guess vengeance would bring dishonour to her relations. Or, at least, make subsequent family get-togethers more than a little uncomfortable.

The first half-hour of this is really good, likely peaking with a hellacious fight at a brothel, where Fei Fei takes on what appears to be the entire population of China. It’s also notable, because next door, Hu Tou is also fighting, and it’s quite impressive too. East Asian films, be they Chinese, Taiwanese or from Hong Kong tend to use kids as comic relief, and the results tend to be grating and irritating. Not so here, with Hu Tou taken seriously, and allowed to take part in battles that work because he uses quickness and agility, not strength. But it is mostly Ho’s film and she gets a slew of solid fights, including against her fiancé’s mother, defending her son.

Unfortunately, after the brothel brawl, the film does tend to become a bit chatty and, worse, spends too much time on Chin and the other bad guys. It may be an attempt by Kao to deepen the portrayal of the villains beyond the shallow. However, guess what? I don’t care. The original attack firmly cements them as murderous scum-bags who deserve to die, and nothing is going to change my mind on this, thank you very much. The only interesting section sees Chin’s parents sharply differ in reaction to their son’s crimes: Dad thinks it brings shame on the family, Mum (as noted above), not so much. Fortunately, the ending gets back to the fighting, though it’s disappointing how Fei Fei needs help. Entertaining enough, yet after how if began, it seems a lost opportunity. 

Dir: Pao-Shu Kao
Star: Lily Ho, Seok-hoon Nam, Hsieh Wang, Yuen-Man Meng
a.k.a. Feng Fei Fei

Snow White and the Seven Samurai

  By

★★½
“That whirring sound? Akira Kurosawa, spinning in his grave.”

I added an extra half-star here out of how much I was entertained by this. Although this was more a result of us yelling things at the screen than any intrinsic merits. The idea is kinda cool, but if you can’t think of ways this should have been improved  you are simply not trying. Anya Voight (Dorn) is known as ‘Snow White’, because her father, Joseph (Eric Roberts),  is a coke dealer. He’s killed by a mysterious assassin, and when his will is read, her jealous stepmom, Quinn (Vitori), is highly annoyed to discover Anya will be the one inheriting the business, and has plans to go legitimate. 

She sends her mysterious assassin (Jackson) to kill her stepdaughter, but he is driven off by Luna (Tellone), the leader of a sect of onna-musha, female samurai. Once numerous, they got into an ill-advised was with organized crime, and are now only seven in number, each a specialist in a different weapon. They agree to teach Anya, so she can take revenge on Quinn for killing Joseph. Cue the training montage! There is also a subplot where Quinn is trying to eliminate the three other bosses with which her late husband had partnered. However, this is functionally useless, and one of the avenues for improvement would have been eliminating this thread entirely. Spend the time instead, giving more than two of the samurai adequate character depth, for example. 

For if this had gone the way of The Asylum’s Mercenaries, it would also have helped. Cast seven women who know one end of a katana from the other, instead of… maybe one and a half? Give us something like Lady Bloodfight. Instead, while there’s no shortage of action – the final assault on Anya’s former home takes up much of the final third – very little of it makes an impact, save an unexpected twist regarding Joseph’s death. Vitori is fun to watch, really getting her teeth into the “evil stepmother” role. Hardly anyone else makes a significant impression. This is why we were forced to make our own entertainment, e.g. yelling “How not to be seen”, every time someone with a mask showed up. Which was frequently – largely to allow for recycling actors, I suspect.

Jackson, best known as an MMA fighter, obviously makes for a formidable opponent, though his role is almost wordless and doesn’t merit the above the title billing he receives on the cover. I’m fine with that: the problem is more that the film needs someone as a protagonist who can hold our attention, as well as a sword. Sadly, Dorn isn’t good enough in either category. Tellone might have made a slightly better lead actress, though that wouldn’t help problems in the script, such as the way Anya goes from fencing amateur to professional samurai, in only a few days. The best thing about this is the title, and disappointment thereafter is almost inevitable.

Dir: Michael Su
Star: Fiona Dorn, Gina Vitori, Sunny Tellone, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson