★★½
“Taking the Miike”
While not the first to be released, this was the first movie directed by Miike, who would go on to become one of the most prolific – yet, still, critically-lauded – directors to come out of Japan in the last quarter-century. Perhaps this is well-informed hindsight: yet, if still pretty basic in its content, it does feels at least somewhat above what you would expect from a straight-to-video movie by a first-time director.
Saeko (Kashiwabara) is a retired soldier, living quietly in the city – though not without a touch of PTSD, if her bunker-like apartment is any indication. A former colleague, now running a day-care, calls on Saeko for help after an abduction attempt on one of the kids he’s looking after, whose mother has also gone missing. Those behind the abduction turn their attention to Saeko, only to find out they’ve bitten off rather more than they can chew in the former special forces operative, who has a very particular set of skills, as they say… She’s intent on getting to the bottom of things.
Despite the salacious cover, this is actually relatively tame in terms of content. The only nod to prurience is perhaps when Saeko knocks out and ties up a female opponent, it’s with an elaborate series of knots, which appear to have strayed in from a Japanese bondage film. Overall, it’s better at the set-up than the execution, especially in the second half, when the action takes a back seat – not least to scenes involving technology that have not aged well. Though nor was the print I saw helped, by English subs which seemed to pop out to the bathroom for much of the time.
Initially, I was wondering whether the bulk of the film was going to be a siege on the heroine’s apartment – an idea which Everly subsequently utilized. That could have been a nice way of exploiting the limitation of a small budget, with a claustrophobic setting, turning Saeko into an urban version of Rambo, making the most of her environment. Shame she (and the film) eventually escape, as it’s close to the best part of the movie, and loses a significant amount of steam thereafter. The other memorable sequence introduces Eddie, another former colleague of Saeko’s, who tells a brutal war story to two drunken Japanese women, who laugh hysterically throughout it: the ending has an unexpected, disturbing twist.
Indeed, that applies to the film overall – the final scene perhaps sticks in the mind significantly more than it makes narrative sense. It turns out the kid is the offspring of some high-ranking guy from Moldova (the term “king” is used in the subs; I suspect something was lost in translation there); quite what’s going on remains not entirely clear. Dating from 1991, it feels a little like a precursor of the Zero Woman series from later in the decade. In the light of what Miike would go on to do, it’s something of a interesting curio. But to be honest, if anyone else had directed this, it would likely have been condemned to the memory hole of cinematic history.
Dir: Takashi Miike
Star: Yoshie Kashiwabara, Naomi Morinaga, Kōsuke Morita, Isao Murata
a.k.a. Red Hunter: Prelude to Kill


Despite the distinctly retro feel of the poster, intro and much of the music, this is very much a contemporary affair. Mary (Henson) is an enforcer working for Benny (Glover): at one point, she was in a relationship with his son, Tom (Brown), and he still wants to continue it. During one hit on a debtor, she finds the target’s young son, Danny (Winston), obliviously playing video-games in his bedroom. Struck by guilt, she leaves him alone, and keeps an eye on the kid thereafter. A year later, she rescues him from the abusive drug dealer who has “adopted” Danny, but the resulting bloodbath is a big problem. For the dealer in question worked for Benny’s biggest rival, who is not happy about the removal and demands Benny find the culprit. Mary, who was already fed up and wanting out of her career, has to decide exactly where her loyalties lie.
One of the common problems I’ve found with fantasy novels is establishing the universe. It’s clearly going to be very different from the reader’s, and the author needs to get them up to speed on how things work in the book’s setting. If this isn’t done quickly and effectively, the reader can be left floundering in a world they know nothing about. Robinson uses a neat trick to get around this. His heroine, Loren, basically knows nothing about it either, because she has been brought up in a remote rural area. Virtually all she knows about life outside the woods comes from tales told to her by an itinerant tinker, and her dreams of becoming a heroic thief seem no more than fantasies.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And considering Halle Berry’s last appearance on this site was for Catwoman, that’s saying something. This is so dumb, I genuinely felt I could feel my IQ slowly sliding away as I watched the movie. Even now, simply remembering it has me feeling more stupider by the sentence. If this review ends up sounding like Beavis & Butthead by the end, that will be why. Its plot is beyond simplistic. Karla Dixon (Berry) has her child abducted from a New Orleans park while she’s on the phone, by husband and wife kidnappers Margo (McGinn) and Terry (Temple). Losing her cell in the process, she takes off after them in hot pursuit, and nothing will get in her way for the next 80-odd minutes.
Business is on the streets, check it out.
That this Belgian flick starts off with a dedication to Ilona Staller (a.k.a. Italian porn star, Cicciolina), artist provocateur Jeff Koons, and Traci Lorde, likely tells you it should not be taken too seriously. Certainly, the amusement to be found largely requires the viewer to be aware of the genres to which this is a homage. This is best exemplified by the
12 months after apparently vanishing while on a covert mission, the husband of former soldier Lena (Portman) suddenly shows up, unable to remember what happened, and suffering massive organ failure. The couple are quarantined by the government, and Lena learns of “Area X” in Florida. An apparent meteor strike has led to a “shimmer” which is gradually expanding in size: all expeditions into the area have vanished without trace, until Lena’s husband showed up. Lena joins another such expedition, led by Dr. Ventress (Leigh), hoping to reach the lighthouse which marks the apparent focus of the event, and discover something which can help her husband.
Anyone can review Tomb Raider. Here, we go the extra mile and review the third-rate knock-off version. For despite being someone whose fondness for maverick studio The Asylum is already
It’s probably worth noting that although this is Volume 1 in the somewhat clunkily-named “Dragon’s Gift: The Protector” series, it follows in the wake of two other Dragon’s Gift threads by the same author, The Huntress and The Seeker. While you don’t need to have read those to enjoy this, it does explain a structure, which could seem somewhat odd. For the volume sets up a trio of treasure-hunting magicians – Cass, Del and Nix – then all but discards the first two and concentrates heavily on Nix. Turns out Cass and Del were the subjects of the Huntress and Seeker sagas respectively, and the Protector gives Nix her turn in the spotlight. This is why some aspects, such as the shop run by the three women, seems more than a bit undeveloped: I presume they were featured in the ten or so previous volumes set in the same world.