On the Run

★★½
“Sisters, doing it for themselves.”

I guess it’s equality at work. This film, written by, starring and directed by women, proves that they are every bit as capable as men… Of knocking out vaguely competent, forgettable, low-to-mid tier action films, anyway. #GirlBoss This is another in the ongoing series of Tubi Originals I’ve reviewed here, including Calamity Jane, Kiss of Death, and The Vigilante. There’s definitely a “Tubi type” at play, with content which tends largely to go down tried and trusted routes, rather than pushing boundaries. It’s likely somewhat unfair – though only somewhat – to describe them as tending to be slightly more edgy versions of Lifetime content, but… hey, at least I’m not comparing them to Hallmark movies.

This is another which offers passable entertainment, yet contains little that would ever merit a rewatch. It begins with a falling out between biker friends Vince (McCullough) and Rick (Clyde) over a scheme to steal drugs from a rival gang. Fifteen years later, Vince gets out of jail, and makes a beeline for revenge. For Rick testified against him, entered witness protection, abandoned his road life, and is happily married to Laurie, with two teenage daughters, of sharply differing personalities. “I’m gonna be a teacher like mom,” proclaims good girl Kayla (Masson), while bad girl Paige (Geare) is doing an unconvincing impression of playing guitar in her room, and wants to run off from Utah to New York to be in a band.

Such things take a back seat after Vince shows up and kills mom. Rick takes his daughters on the road, but the pursuit is inexorable: the tracking software her parents installed on Paige’s phone backfires there. We then discover that Vince’s goals are not limited strictly to payback, because – and this is so obvious it’s not really a spoiler – Paige is his daughter, and he wants a family re-union. Fortunately, “Aunt Steph” (Pamela Rose Rodriguez) is also on the case. For she is actually the US Marshal assigned to the family by the witness protection program, and likely represents the best chance at stopping Vince before he is able to split up the sisters and spirit Paige out of the country. Frankly, it’s as generic as the title, and only qualifies for inclusion here due to a somewhat rousing final twenty minutes.

The script is the main problem. I’m far from convinced the writers know how witness protection works, or law enforcement in general, e.g. Steph taking Kayla along with her to rescue Paige. The explanation for why she doesn’t call for backup is… unconvincing, and that’s being charitable. Similarly, Vince growls at Rick, “No one breaks the code,” but the ease with which Steph gets his location out of another biker would, um, suggest otherwise. There’s also gratuitous terminal illness, so maybe the Hallmark comparison wasn’t so far off. Fortunately, the performances aren’t bad. Masson and Geare are credible as siblings, and that goes a significant way to keep this just about watchable.

Dir: Traci Hays
Star: Sofia Masson, Taylor Geare, William Mark McCullough, K.C. Clyde

American Samurai

★½
“Dollar-store samurai.”

If I’d realized earlier this was by the director of the underwhelming, non-GWG film, Once Upon a Time in the Apocalypse, I would likely have set my expectations considerably lower. This has much the same “running around the woods after civilization has collapsed” vibe, though I did see Willard has added some digital effects to enhance the post-apocalyptic atmosphere. It is likely an improvement technically, but there just isn’t enough going on here to sustain interest. In this version, the rich have abandoned the failing civilization on Earth and decamped in self-sustaining spaceships. Everyone else has been left to fend for themselves, and this includes the community here, who keep themselves to themselves, deep in the Oregon woods.

In charge of its security are Larkin (Hastings) and her acolyte, Alyssa (Fortuna). They go on regular patrols around the area, or when they get word of strangers who might pose a threat. On one such excursion, they meet Ryan (Pelfrey) who begs for their help, offering them tickets to space if they help him reach the take-off point. Alyssa wants to take him up on the offer, but Larkin over-rules her. However, they come across a couple of the elites, who have returned to Earth on a “hunting expedition”, and the encounter turns lethal. This puts them in the crosshairs of the accompanying, ‘enhanced’ bodyguard (Mann). It poses a dilemma, because the last thing Larkin wants is to bring the pursuer back to their settlement. 

The idea isn’t terrible. Unfortunately, the execution largely is, in a variety of ways. The most obvious one is the action. Using the S-word (incidentally, there is zero connection to the 1992 film of the same name, starring Mark Dacascos) sets… certain expectations in regard to your fight scenes, which Fortuny and Hastings are in no position to meet. Slowly and carefully waving swords about is not an acceptable answer, despite guns and bullets apparently (though not consistently) being in short supply. Too many plot threads never go anywhere of significance. These include both Ryan and his space tickets, as well as little girl Mary, back in the settlement, who is supposed to be in dire need of a doctor – though she looks pretty healthy to me.

Fortuny and Hastings aren’t terrible; the latter grew on me after a shaky start to her performance. Their two characters form a decent contrast, the cautious Larkin with the impetuous and more emotionally driven Alyssa. The individual scenes where they are talking with each other are okay. It’s just there are far too damn many of them, each bringing the film to a halt. Then, when we finally see the settlement, it looks like a well-maintained holiday camp, where a hippie festival is happening (fire dancers!). It’s salutary to contrast this with another recently reviewed low-budget slice of post-apocalyptic cheese, in Ride Hard: Live Free, which did a far better job of working round its limited resources, and retained my interest considerably better. Guess they don’t make apocalypses like they used to.

Dir: Nathan Willard
Star: Rosa Fortuny, Larkin Hastings, Rob Pelfrey, Mikel Mann

Ride Hard: Live Free

★★★
“Daughter of Anarchy.”

I was a little nervous on reading the IMDb trivia section: “Three motorcycle clubs participated as extras and offered technical advice.” If this sucked and I gave it a bad review, would I get a visit from a group of annoyed bikers, offering me ‘technical advice’ with a wrench? Turns out I needn’t have worried. While low-budget by Hollywood standards, it has some interesting ideas, and the execution is competent enough to pass muster. The events here take place after the collapse of the United States, when everywhere West of the Mississippi has basically been left to fend for itself. In this part of Nevada, that means two biker gangs, the Skoners and the Gypsies are fighting for control.

A particular wrinkle: all guns were seized by the authorities shortly before things collapsed, leaving them highly rare. But while being chased by the Skoners, 12-year-old Zyra (Rhodes), stumbles across a cache of weapons and ammo in a caravan. The bikers, under leader Tank (Russo), want the guns very much. Zyra proves quite capable of using her new-found force multipliers, leading to a stand-off between the young girl and the motorcycle club. Complicating matters: the Gypsies get word of the cache from a disgruntled Skoner, and prepare to make their own move against Zyra. It’s all unexpectedly interesting, and is a bit different from your typical post-apocalyptic shenanigans. In its thoroughly unconventional heroine, I was reminded a good deal of Molly

The performances certainly help, and are almost all effective. Beyond Rhodes and Rivera, there’s good support from Sons of Anarchy veteran Rivera as Gauge, the area’s overlord, and Chaz as an acerbic radio host, who could win third place in a Danny Trejo lookalike contest. I also want to mention R.A. Mihailoff, Vanessa Dorrei and Juan Espinosa as members of the Skoners. They all manage to create well-rounded characters with admirable efficiency. What is a little confusing, is the whole thing appears to be told in flashback by an older version of Zyra. This never quite gels, in part because the film doesn’t bother to circle back to the “present day” at the end, and consequently leaves the audience somewhat dangling in the breeze. 

I did wonder quite how Zyra came to be wandering the Nevada desert by herself, and how she had survived to that point. A little more development would have gone a long way: it leaves scope for a prequel, along the lines of Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. There’s no doubt that the “technical advice” adds authenticity, and it’s a rather more nuanced depiction of bikers than you generally get – especially in the post-apocalyptic genre. Although it doesn’t soft-pedal the violence necessary, it’s typically toward a specific goal, and as a result feels more like a case of ‘tough times create hard men’. Or, in the case of Zyra, rather tough little girls as well. I wasn’t expecting much here, and was pleasantly surprised. 

Dir: Tony Mendoza 
Star: Lainee Rhodes, Derek Russo, Emilio Rivera, Jeff Chaz

Mountain Queen: The Summits of Lhakpa Sherpa

★★★
“Top of the world.”

Reaching the summit of Mount Everest once is a remarkable achievement, done by only a few thousand people in history, with hundreds having died in the attempt. But what about climbing the world’s highest peak on no less than ten occasions? Such is the achievement of Lhakpa Sherpa, a woman from Nepal who had to overcome remarkable adversity in a number of ways to complete this feat. This documentary is the story, both of her tenth (and most recent, to date at least!) ascent, and of her life. It’s an impressive story of fortitude, though never really answers my most burning question. I can understand wanting to climb Everest once. But why do it so many times?

Lhakpa was born in 1973, and grew up when girls weren’t allowed to go to school. She carried her brother there, two hours each way, but wasn’t allowed to learn herself. This didn’t stop her from breaking with local tradition in a number of ways. She had a child outside of wedlock, and also became a mountain porter as a teenager, another position reserved for men – she cut her hair short, so her gender would be less apparent. In 2000, she became the first Nepalese woman to reach the top of Everest and survive. The same year, she met climber Gheorghe Dimarescu and the pair married in 2002. They climbed together, and had two daughters, Sunny and Shiny. But there was a dark side, with her husband’s vicious temper turning their relationship abusive, until she left him in 2012.

I do feel the film rather overplays this element of Lhakpa’s life. While it’s obviously significant, it almost seems to robs her of agenda, forcing the viewer to see much of the events through the lens of his behaviour. The structure may enhance this. Rather than unfolding chronologically, there are two parallel streams, one depicting her tenth attempt to reach the top, while the other slowly fills in the background of her life, and the two never quite seemed to mesh effectively for me. Her attitude in dealing with life’s obstacles is amazing, and leave a remarkable impression, such as how Lhakpa worked in a Connecticut supermarket, while raising her two daughters, before returning to her home country.

It does appear her profile has been raised by her remarkable, and largely under the radar, achievements. The documentary shows her finding a sponsor who will fund expeditions: I don’t know if she still works in Whole Foods! I hope not, because she deserves better, with the simple facts of her story being immensely empowering to anyone, and a lesson that any dream can be achieved. But I did not feel that this film really provided much more insight into the person, than a reading of her Wikipedia page would have offered. I was left with questions, such as about her first child, which the film didn’t want to address, and it felt like some outside viewpoints (even Lhakpa’s family) would have benefited the end product. It remains worth a watch: just don’t expect more than a surface portrait.

Dir: Lucy Walker
Star: Lhakpa Sherpa, Sunny Dijmarescu, Shiny Dijmarescu

Breathe

★★½
“Air apparent.”

I only remembered about this when looking at our preview for last year, and realizing I’d not heard anything more about it. Turns out it was released on April 26th, to what was apparently “limited theatres,” the same day it hit on-demand. I must have missed the memo. So, here we are, and it’s very much a bit of a mixed bag. The scenario is interesting, if vague. Initial tension building is well-done, but the further it went on, the more it struggled to hold my interest. It’s a post-apocalyptic scenario, with the oxygen level of the atmosphere rapidly depleted to a lethally low percentage. This wiped out almost everyone – though where all the corpses went is one of many unanswered questions.

Among the few survivors, living in an air-tight Brooklyn bunker, are mother Maya (Hudson, looking impressively svelte), father Darius (Common) and daughter Zora (Wallis). Though Darius leaves one day and doesn’t come back, leaving his wife and child to fend for themselves. A few months later there are unexpected visitors: a group led by Tess (Jovovich). She claims to have known Darius, and needs to see his oxygen creator, because the one in their bunker in Philadelphia is breaking down, and they’re about to run out of air. Maya is highly suspicious – Darius never mentioned Tess – but Zora convinces her mother to trust Tess and her group, at least somewhat. No prizes for guessing whether or not this is a mistake.

It’s likely at its best while there’s still some doubt about the answer, with a good sense of uncertainty ratcheting up the tension as noted. Just don’t think about the science – how do you make an “EMP generator” out of a flashlight and some copper wire? Though some reviews are wrong to question how guns work without free oxygen: gunpowder, etc. contain it internally. Best avoid the unsubtle social metaphors too, e.g. a black character staring at a mural which says, “We can’t breathe”, obviously a leftover from the BLM protests, or the quoting of Malcolm X. Hudson and Jovovich are the glue which holds this together, even when you can’t see the bulk of their faces due to the helmets needed to sustain life outside.

Their interactions work: far less effective is Worthington playing Lucas, post-apocalyptic trope #23, the loose cannon sidekick. Once Tess and Maya are no longer getting to share scenes, it feels as if the air goes out of the film (an especially appropriate figure of speech given the circumstances). Lucas and Zora then have to take centre-stage, and the results are unimpressive, as the film limps towards an ending too easily contrived. I did like the look of the film, with the world a filter-tinted nightmare that has gone to absolute hell, with some impressively destroyed cityscapes.  The script, on the other hand, needed considerably more work to reach acceptable, and ends up wasting good work by its two leads.

Dir: Stefon Bristol
Star: Jennifer Hudson, Quvenzhané Wallis, Milla Jovovich, Sam Worthington

The Undeserving

★★★
“Save a horse, ride a cowgirl.”

I’m slightly grading this on a curve, because this is likely the best of the low-budget modern blaxploitation movies I’ve seen, by some margin. By “normal” standards, that still falls some way short of Oscar-winning, with the limited resources still being obvious at some point. But compared to some of the other entries I’ve sat through, this is a palpable improvement, avoiding many of the worst cliches of the genre, in favor of a story which has had some attention given to it. It’s not an African-American knockoff of Scarface, like so many others, and does not entirely rely on a soundtrack of bad rap songs by the director’s pals. That alone puts it ahead of the pack.

It begins with an assassination carried out by arms dealer Lion Caldwell (Russell). He’s wants to kill the person who’s blackmailing him, and make it look like he’s the target. But to ensure there are no loose ends, he will also kill the hitwoman, Harper (Lavan). However, the intended target gets wind of the plan, and switches wigs with an innocent bystander, causing Harper to shoot the wrong target: Lion’s ex-wife, and the mother of his daughter. The whole mess ends up with Harper dumped in a lake, shot multiple times, and stabbed for good measure. Of course, she’s not dead. She is able to make her way to shore, where’s she’s rescued by a couple. The husband is a surgeon, and able to patch her up in-house, rather than notify the authorities. Yeah, I rolled my eyes a bit at that.

Thereafter, Harper makes her way back to her family, from whom she has been estranged, following a gun accident. Her sister, Fire (Curstin), is less than impressed to see her sibling back. Word reaches Lion that his tidying up hasn’t been successful, so he sends his top man, First (Peri), to take care of Harper once and for all. Should her family get in the way, who cares? If you’re thinking this could end up blowing back on Lion… yeah. There’s more thought into this than I expected, though the plot remains imperfect. There’s a second woman left for dead in the lake, but that doesn’t appear to go anywhere much.

I did like a lot the setting for this being “black country”, for want of a better phrase. Not seen a film with that background before; this genre is typically light on horse-riding: Beyonce has a lot to answer for, I suspect! The action is a bit of a mixed bag – some moments work considerably better than others – and there’s some very bad CGI for a gas-pump explosion. But the characters are as well-written as the script, with some unexpected elements. For example, Lion is trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter, in a similar way to Harper and her family. Based on this, I’d not be averse to looking at more of Elmore’s work.

Dir: Joseph A. Elmore Jr.
Star: Nyra Lavan, Oshea Russell, King Curstin, Joshua Peri

Impulse

★★½
“Two’s company…”

This is one of the more successful efforts to spin a conspiratorial narrative – at least until the final act, where it topples over into implausibility. It’s a bit like how QAnon were not wrong about the rich and powerful being involved in sex trafficking… it just wasn’t out of the basement of a pizza restaurant. The heroine here is Sofia (Gudic), a journalist who is investigating a series of odd murders, in which powerful men are killed in highly compromising positions. These are assassinations carried out by an escort-assassin, Theda – yeah, one of the less subtle anagrammatic names I’ve seen – on behalf of a shadowy, super-powerful group of the wealthy and famous, under the oversight of Zane (Cassavetes).

Complicating matters is that Theda (also Gudic) is the spitting image of Sofia, just with dark hair, so when a fellow journalist, David (Ferrigno), see the hitwoman leaving the scene of a killing, he becomes convinced Sofia is moonlighting. Of course, there are only a few possible ways this can be resolved, such as a coincidental doppelganger, long-lost twin sister, or severely split personalities. I won’t reveal which way the film goes. But there is a sharp ring of plausibility to the way the cabal obtain blackmail material in order to get a politician, Governor Hughes (Kirkland) on their side, then manipulate him to do their political bidding. Though perhaps most chilling is the way the group quickly moves on when Hughes is no longer of use.

As someone who used to be into conspiratorial stuff (back when it was still fun, which slowly ceased to be true after 9/11), I enjoyed these elements, and nods to things like mind-controlled assassins. But at the end, it shifts into some kind of occult ritual scenario involving baby sacrifice, which makes the whole thing smell weirdly like misinformation. The powerful will act to retain  or increase their power: there’s no need for any motivation beyond that, including spooky cosplay. Naturally, Sofia – or is it Theda? – is on hand to witness these rituals, and face off against the cabal members in their lair, including both Zane and the person responsible for her situation. Credit the makers for delivering a surprisingly downbeat ending.

Gudic seems to be having adequate fun in her dual roles, though I’d certainly like to have seen more of Theda in action. It feels like her murderous talents are wasted here, even if making someone choke to death on a large, realistic-looking dildo does demonstrate impressive imagination. The ease with which she apparently shrugs off her programming is a bit troubling: if I was an evil overlord, I’d be having words with my abuse-induced control department minions. More action, and to be frank, more gratuitous nudity, would have been welcome. What’s the point of having an escort-assassin who never undresses? [Though there is a scene involving two girls, a bath and a lot of red wine] Overall, I was adequately amused, albeit not much more.

Dir: Patrick Flaherty
Star: Dajana Gudic, Lou Ferrigno Jr., Nick Cassavetes, Rob Kirkland

Jade

★★★
“Always bet on black…”

Director Bamford has certainly had himself a year. This is the third film of his in 2024 to be reviewed on this site, following Air Force One Down and Hard Home. It’s actually his feature debut, and seems to date back a few years, before getting released. Jade is definitely rougher around the edges than what would follow, although that offers some advantages as well, in that there appear to be more risks taken stylistically. Whether these work or nor is likely a matter of personal taste. For example, how do you feel about a heroine who kills one enemy by throwing her Afro pick at an enemy like a ninja death star, embedding it in his forehead?

Me, I liked it, but have seen other reviews which called it ‘just plain silly’, so to each their own, I guess. It does need some more consistency of tone, I think, and the script is too loose, with elements which don’t matter. The heroine, Jade (West), is a Brit who came over to America with her brother after their parents were murdered, fell in with the wrong crowd and accidentally killed her sibling with a stray bullet. She’s now sworn off guns, but is in trouble after coming into possession of a hard drive, sought after by gang boss Tork (Rourke), with extreme prejudice. While her allies are few, they include her brother’s widow, Layla (McNamara) and a cop investigating things, Reese (Dacascos). 

It’s clear that the main inspiration for Jade is Pam Grier, and her roles in the likes of Coffy and Foxy Brown. This is most apparent in her fabulous Afro, which is so large, you feel it should have its own gravitational well. West is a stuntwoman, a background shared by Bamford, and a lot of the supporting cast too. This comes through, for obvious reasons, in the action, which is reliably well-executed. However, Bamford seems to be trying to find his style, and adopts a few different approaches, not all equally successful. For example, sometimes he goes for a shaki-cam approach. You’d think someone like him would know that’s close to the worst approach when it comes to showcasing stunt work.

As noted, the story has issues too, especially early on, with a particularly rough expositional dump at the beginning. Turns out the whole saga of Jade’s brother and her background in Britain are not very important at all – except for explaining her strong English accent. It’s definitely a case where less would have been more. Still, there’s a good deal to enjoy here, and I will be interested to see where West goes. She seems to have a huge social media presence – 1.1 million followers on something called “Instagram”, whatever that is… Her comic-book style there seems to match the approach in this, and she has potential. As we’ve seen, the same goes for Bamford, and I am looking forward to seeing what he brings to our table, in 2025 and beyond. 

Dir: James Bamford
Star: Shaina West, Katherine McNamara, Mickey Rourke, Mark Dacascos

Dirty Angels

★★★½
“Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.”

It’s important to realize that this is a throwback to movies from an earlier, simpler time. One when action movies could consist largely of a red-blooded American hero, killing evil furreners in spectacularly violent ways. And it didn’t matter much whether the person playing the hero was actually a foreigner themselves i.e. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thirty years later, we are supposed to be more tolerant, and watch films where nuance has replaced shallow stereotypes. We have met the enemy and he is us, or some similar guff. Dirty Angels cares not one whit for such niceties. Its sole concession to ‘progress’, is a hero with a vagina. Who is still actually a foreigner, Eva Green being French. 

She plays Jake, a hard-ass soldier who has been causing trouble for the military brass, since an incident in Afghanistan where the rest of her team was killed. She gets a chance to put things right after ISIS kidnap a batch of girls from a school in Pakistan and take them back over the border. It needs to be a majority female team because reasons, and so we get minions referred to only by their skill-set, e.g. The Bomb (Bakalova) or Medic (Rose). I was a little worried by the latter’s presence: going by her recent films, she should have been called The Bomb. However, she’s a minor presence compared to Green, whose irresistible force beats the immovable object of Rose.

Adding to Jake’s enthusiasm, the ISIS leader behind the kidnapping is Amir (Iskander), the same man responsible for killing her comrades. However, they can’t cross the border armed, so before launching an assault on Amir’s compound, they first need to liberate the necessary weaponry. This all provides Campbell, recently seen here with The Protégé (and he has Daisy Ridley’s The Cleaner out early next year), with plenty of opportunities for some seriously messy violence, and a high body-count on both sides. Throat slitting, head shots and some severe stabbing ensue, though there is some dodgy CGI. An exploding helicopter at the beginning is shockingly bad. Fortunately, it is not a portent of what’s to come, with a lot of good, practical effects work instead. 

In other reviews, I’ve seen a lot of predictable whining from predictable whiners, but the bottom line is, I was entertained. A very significant portion of that is down to Green, whose intensity fuels the whole movie. [This represents a reunion with Campbell, who directed Green for her breakout role in Casino Royale] With someone less effective in the lead role – coughRubyRosecough – this could potentially have been a whole star lower. Again, it is a throwback to times where a crap action film could work, given a star with enough charisma, and once more I’m thinking of Arnie. There’s nothing new or innovative here, certainly. I was not looking for such, just a cacophony of giant fireballs and mild to moderate xenophobia. Sometimes, that really is all you want. It’s the simple things which matter…

Dir: Martin Campbell 
Star: Eva Green, George Iskander, Maria Bakalova, Ruby Rose

Take the Ice

★★
“Just about skates by.”

There’s no doubt that women’s sports very much plays second fiddle to their male equivalent, though the gap varies from sport to sport. The WNBA is experiencing a surge of popularity, though the NBA is still a financial behemoth. This documentary focuses on ice-hockey, and the debut season in 2015 of the first professional women’s competition in the US, the National Women’s Hockey League. Though semi-professional is closer to the truth: the league could only afford to pay its players around $15,000 a year, meaning almost all of them had to have day jobs, from teachers to paralegals to engineers, to cover the expenses. Commissioner and founder Dani Rylan spends most of her time seeking sources of finance, though finds the men’s league less than thoroughly supportive.

To be honest, I can’t blame them. There’s a vague sense of entitlement coming off the NWHL, not realizing they are largely competing with the NHL for the same fans and money. Why should the NHL help a rival start-up, just because they have women players? That’s the harsh reality here. I respect Rylan for putting in the work and starting the league, but this is capitalist equality in action. There were points at which I wanted to reach into the TV set and remind the NWHL, nobody has a “right” to funding in the world of professional sports. You have to earn it, whether you are male or female, and doing so starts with the quality of your product.

It may have been a mistake to start with just four teams, because with all of them making the playoffs, the entire regular season felt kinda pointless. And how did Boston end up with eight members of the US national team, while none of the other franchises had more than a couple? Wasn’t there some kind of a draft to balance the teams? Unsurpisingly, the Boston Pride won the inaugural championship – without, it seems, too much trouble. The film does make some effort to make this less of a procession, by telling the story of Denna Laing, a player on the Boston team who suffered a spinal injury during a game, which left her paralyzed.

I felt these elements, concentrating on the players and their stories rather than the business, worked better, but were frustratingly brief, except for Laing. There’s not enough of a narrative in the game-play to sustain things, and I suspect I’m an outlier, in that most other people watching the documentary probably will already be well aware how the first season ended. The league is still going, albeit under different ownership, although it’s interesting the film didn’t come out for more than six years after the season covered by it. I’ve been to ice hockey games, both here and back in the UK, and at various levels. But I’d have to say, in contrast to, say, Perfect, there is not much here likely to make a fan, if you weren’t one already.

Dir: Rachel Koteen
Star: Dani Rylan, Denna Laing, Anya Battaglino, Kaleigh Fratkin