Aileen: Queen of the Serial Killers

I am quietly co-opting the title of the recent Netflix documentary, for a more general piece on the topic of Aileen Wuornos – arguably the first, and certainly the most infamous, female serial killers. Firstly, I do have some qualms about including her here. After all, she’s certainly not what you’d call an “action heroine”. But a girl with a gun? Definitely. Representing the dark side of that trope, absolutely. But that doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean people like her shouldn’t be covered here. Especially when, as with Wuornos, they have inspired any number of cinematic works, ranging from the straight-laced documentary to the luridly sensational. Both directions have their own merits.

With that out of the way: was Wuornos, as is often claimed, “the first female serial killer”? That’s largely a matter of definition. There were certainly earlier women who killed indiscriminately, some in much greater numbers than Wuornos’s seven confirmed victims. The most famous would be Countess Elizabeth Báthory – herself the inspiration for many movies – who was accused of killing as many as 600 in 17th-century Hungary. But, in general, multiple murderers seem to have had different motivations depending on gender. Women are more likely to kill for profit; men for sexual gratification.

History precedes her

Indeed, the modern era killer with the highest possible number of victims is a woman – probably one you’ve never heard of. Mariam Soulakiotis, known as ‘Mother Rasputin’, was the abbess of a Greek monastery. She would typically lure wealthy women to the convent, torture them until they donated their fortunes, then kill the “donor”. She also had a scam involving a cure for TB, which inflated her numbers dramatically, albeit through negligent homicide. During her trial, figures of 27 murders and 150 negligent homicides were given, though some suggest the true total for which she bore responsibility was over five hundred. That figure would surpass the tally even of the likes of Pedro Lopez, the “Monster of the Andes”, often regarded as the most prolific serial killer. 

Here are a selection of other women, generally regarded as having killed considerably more than Wuornos’s seven victims – and mostly had cool nicknames bestowed upon them in the media. I’ve not included medical personnel like Jane Toppan, because that would be a whole other list.

  • 35 victims: Vera Renczi, Romania, “the Black Widow” – poisoned two husbands, multiple lovers, and her son with arsenic during the 1920s. But her existence is unconfirmed, and she may be an urban legend. 
  • 17 victims: Irina Gaidamachuk, Russia, “Satan in a Skirt” – pretended to be a social worker to gain access to the homes of elderly women, kill them with an axe or hammer, then rob them (pictured, right).
  • 16 victims: Juana Barraza, Mexico, “La Mataviejitas (the little old lady killer)” – A former pro wrestler known as “The Silent Lady”; like Gaidamachuk, she targetted old women, bludgeoning or strangling them during robberies.
  • 14 victims: Belle Guinness, USA – enticed men to visit her rural property through personal ads. Her crimes were only discovered after her supposed death in a fire, though her fate is unconfirmed.
  • 14 victims, Sararat Rangsiwuthaporn, Thailand, “Am Cyanide” – Borrowed money to feed an online gambling addiction, then poisoned those to whom she was in debt. 
  • 13 victims, Tamara Samsonova, Russia, “the Granny Ripper” – Started killing at age 56. Murdered, dismembered, and in some accounts cannibalized, people in her flat.
  • 12 victims, Enriqueta Martí, Spain, “the Vampire of Barcelona” – Self-proclaimed witch that abducted, prostituted, murdered and made potions with the bodies of small children. That’s enough Wikipedia for me. 
  • 11 victims, Nannie Doss, USA, “the Giggling Granny” – Confessed to killing four of her husbands, her mother, her sister, her grandson, and her mother-in-law by arsenic poisoning.
  • 11 victims, Marie Alexandrine Becker, Belgium, “the Belgian Borgia” – Poisoned wealthy clients in order to supplement her income while working as a seamstress.
  • 10 victims, Jeanne Weber, France – Strangled ten children, mostly while babysitting them, though also including her own. In the most unsurprising verdict ever, found not guilty by reason of insanity. 

Damaged people damage people

If you ever want proof of the above, Aileen Wuornos’s early life would be it. She came from a broken home, her mother filing for divorce from her father shortly before giving birth to her daughter at the age of sixteen. When Aileen was three, her mother abandoned her, and she was taken care of by her grandparents. Who were both alcoholics. Aileen accused her grandfather of molesting her, and by the age of 11, she was sexually active, exchanging her favors for cigarettes and drugs. She became pregnant at 14, and was thrown out her grandparent’s house shortly after giving birth, living rough in woods and turning tricks to survive. 

Her life from there through the late eighties, was an all-you-can-eat buffet of more or less petty crime (theft, check forgery, robbery) and suicide attempts. There was also a bizarre marriage at age 20 to the 69-year-old president of a Florida yacht club. This proved short-lived – likely mercifully for everyone – being annulled after nine weeks. In 1986, she met motel maid Tyria Moore in Daytona Beach, and the pair moved in together. But in November 1989, Wuornos killed her first victim, 51-year-old store owner Richard Mallory. She later claimed this was in self-defense, after Mallory attacked her. There may have been some truth in this, because he had been convicted of attempted rape, albeit back in 1957. 

However, it’s stretching credulity to accept this also applied to all of the six other men she shot dead, between May and November the following year. Naturally, such a spree did not go unseen, with an increasing media frenzy, especially after a witness reported it was two women she had seen abandoning a victim’s car. Fingerprint evidence – obviously, her dabs were on file in Florida due to her criminal record – helped the net tighten on Wuornos. After the arrest Moore, who had fled to her family home in Pennsylvania, agreed to turn state’s evidence against her lover, in exchange for immunity from prosecution. 

In January 1992, she went on trial for the murder of Mallory. After a two-week trial, she was found guilty and sentenced to death. Wuornos subsequently pleaded “no contest” (effectively guilty) or guilty to five other murders, with one left uncharged because the body was never found. She also received the death sentence for those killings. Her attitude and explanation changed dramatically over the years. At some points she stoically maintained the self-defense claim. But at other times, she admitted her guilt, saying in court, “I am as guilty as can be. I want the world to know I killed these men, as cold as ice. I’ve hated humans for a long time. I am a serial killer. I killed them in cold blood, real nasty.”

The wheels of justice ground slowly, as they tend to do in these cases. It was more than a decade after receiving her first death sentence, that Aileen Wuornos was executed, in October 2002. It had taken so long, the state of Florida had switch from the electric chair to lethal injection as the preferred cause of death. Anyone hoping for closure from her final words would likely have been more confused than anything: “Yes, I would just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back, like Independence Day, with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I’ll be back, I’ll be back.” To date she has not, in fact, come back. 

However, approaching a quarter century since her execution, the ghost of Wuornos still haunts society in a variety of ways, remaining a topic of dark fascination. There have been books, there have been TV investigations, and even an operatic adaptation of her life. There have, naturally, been movies, at all levels. The best-known is 2003’s Monster, which won Charlize Theron an Academy Award for her depiction of the killer. But we also have seen the more lurid Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman. Below, we’ll cover the first fictional retelling of Aileen’s story; a documentary which came out not long after her death; and as evidence of the ongoing interest in Wuornos, a Netflix film about her, released just last October. 


Overkill: The Aileen Wuornos Story

★★
“Undercooked and overdressed.”

Less than eleven months after Wuornos was convicted on her first murder charge, this TV movie was broadcast on CBS. If you’re at all familiar with the facts of the case, this won’t have much to offer. It does go a little bit deeper into the police procedural, in the shape of Capt. Steve Binegar (Grimm) and investigator Bruce Munster (James). Interesting that it does depict the FBI’s indifference to the case, the investigation basically being left up to the local cops. This gives credence to an article I read, which quoted an unnamed profiler with the bureau as saying there was no such things as a female serial killer. However, said local law enforcement comes up largely smelling of roses.

I’ve a feeling this may be because some members of the police were actively involved in the production, a fact which caused them some trouble due to the conflict of interest. There were, according to The Selling of a Serial Killer, re-assignments as a result, though nothing more formal appears to have happened. This may also have been based on the story Wuornos’s girlfriend Tyria Moore sold, though I’ve not been able to confirm this. The main problem is simply that a TV movie is a profoundly inappropriate medium in which to tell the story of a serial killer prostitute. Particularly one who was a lesbian, though you would be hard-pushed to work that out here. Aileen/”Lee (Smart) and Tyria (Overall) seem much more like room-mates than lovers.

The limitations of the form mean that we don’t really get to see much of… anything, to be honest. The formative influence of Wuornos’s appalling childhood is only seen in a couple of murky flashbacks. The killings themselves come nowhere near the description of them by the authorities as brutal. The closest we get to the grubbiness required for an authentic portrayal is probably the chaste shower scene in which Aileen examines her wounds, behind which we get entirely inappropriate sexy sax music. Though let’s face it: as the picture above proves, Smart and Overall are both far too conventionally pretty, despite being somewhat uglified up. I did laugh at how even the witness sketch impressions of the pair were prettier than the ones actually used by the police. 

As long as you’re fine with an obviously watered-down idea of the story, this isn’t terrible. The actors generally do a good job: I’m not familiar with Smart, but there are points when she is able to capture the body language and mannerisms of the real Wuornos effectively, and her performance does balance between making Aileen sympathetic and demonizing her. I also liked James, an actor I know more from villainous roles such as his replicant in Blade Runner. Seeing him here as a smart detective certainly felt against type. But the whole endeavour feels like a jar of “hot” supermarket salsa. You expect to get something spicy, only to find it has relentlessly toned down for mass-market consumption. 

Dir: Peter Levin
Star: Jean Smart, Park Overall, Tim Grimm, Brion James

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer

★★★★
“Lethally blonde.”

This is Broomfield’s second documentary around the topic of Aileen Wuornos, having previously made Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer. It’s a glorious doc – one of my all-time favorites – but is more tangential, being about those around Wuornos, seeking to exploit her situation for their own personal gain. He thought he was done with the topic, but he was called as a defense witness during Aileen’s final appeal against the multiple death sentences, largely because among those exploiters was her lawyer at the time, Steve Glazer. But around appearing in the witness box, Broomfield decided to make a second documentary, this time focusing on the woman at the centre of proceedings, all the way up to her execution by lethal injection in October 2002.

What I love about Broomfield’s work is, he goes where the story leads him. Some documentarians – and I’m looking at you, Michael Moore – go into production with An Agenda (caps used advisedly). They then craft the end product towards that agenda. To me, that’s less a documentary than propaganda. Broomfield seems to have a much more open mind, and the results sometimes end up going in unexpected directions. Here, it’s clear that he has sympathy for Wuornos, but doesn’t pull any punches about her personality and mental state. He presents footage both of her claiming self-defense and absolutely confessing to having committed cold-blooded murder. The scary thing is, Wuornos appeared to me to be highly credible in each, contradictory situation. Maybe I’m just easily fooled. Sobering.

Certainly, there is evidence of Aileen’s anger issues. During his final interview, we see how she can go from calm discussion to volcanic ferocity in short order, for little or no reason, and storming out while flipping Broomfield the bird. If there had been a firearm to hand during this outburst… Yeah, watching this, the idea of her killing seven in less than a year definitely seemed possible. Rage and easy access to guns is a dangerous combination. But as the film proceeds, it appears Wuornos’s mental situation deteriorates into frequent surges of paranoia, claiming mind-control weapons are being used on her, and that the cops knew who she was after the first murder, and let her continue killing so they could exploit things in the media. 

Should someone so clearly ill in the head be executed? Political considerations – it being an election year, with the governor wanting to appear strong on crime – appear to have overridden any judicial concerns. A cursory mental exam pronounced her fit to die, and the sentence was duly carried out. On that day, Broomfield was interviewed by the media (a classic case of the snake eating its own tail). He said, “Here was somebody who is has obviously lost her mind, has totally lost touch with reality. We’re executing a person who’s mad, and I don’t really know what kind of message that gives.” As someone not averse to the death penalty, this documentary certainly made me pause for thought, and that alone proves its quality. 

Dir: Nick Broomfield and Joan Churchill

Aileen: Queen of the Serial Killers

★★
“More of a propamentary.”

This would likely have benefited had I not watched Life and Death the previous night, because any comparison does not work in this documentary’s favour. Titled on the print just Aileen, forgetting that awkward serial killing thing, this is less balanced, and skews heavily towards Wuornos as victim – of the legal system, her clients and life in general. “Actually, she was made, and that’s chilling,” said co-director Turner, apparently opting to ignore the concept of free will. The bias is apparent, in the way the film concentrates heavily on Wuornos’s first murder, that of Richard Mallory. While that is the only one where there was a full trial, it’s also the only one where I think there’s credible evidence to support her claim of self-defense. The film barely mentions the other six victims.

I won’t argue that prosecutors did everything they could to obtain a conviction. That would be… their job? The footage of a reporter quizzing lead prosecutor John Tanner about Mallory’s sexual assault conviction in the fifties, just made me wonder, how the heck Wuornos’s team didn’t pick up on this? Checking the background of the victim for something like that seems like Defense Lawyering 1.0.1. In general, though, Turner and Cunningham are largely re-treading the same ground as Nick Broomfield: indeed, some footage here appears to be repurposed from his films, or at least comes from the same sources. I was a little surprised how this largely glossed over Wuornos’s upbringing, which I’d have to consider a huge factor in her issues.

The new stuff is mostly from Australian film-maker Jasmine Hurst, who corresponded long-distance with Wuornos for year, and interviewed her in 1997. I felt she was the whole endeavour’s weakest aspect. Her adoration for the killer is wildly improper from that start, Hurst drooling over Wuornos: “She’s like the trifecta. Gay, female, sex worker. And killing white men.” Hey, it is the Netflix trifecta, anyway. Later on, Hurst delivers this doozy of a statement: “It didn’t matter to me at all if none of the men had raped her. Those men may not have raped her in the moment, but they are icons of previous rapists that she didn’t fight against.” That the makers saw fit to leave that comment in the movie, says a lot about their agenda.

For, make no mistake, an agenda is what we have here, and what differentiates it most sharply from Broomfield’s work. Turner and Cunningham aren’t seekers after truth. They are convinced they know it, and want to drag the viewer to agree. That’s why we get comments on Reddit about the film like, “I feel so dumb for falling for the Aileen is evil stuff. This doc changed my mind completely.” More than one thing can be true, y’know. Yes, she did not receive a fair trial. Yes, she had a rough life. But she was also evil, and an incredibly angry sociopath. Not that you’d know it from the footage here, almost all showing Wuornos at her most serene.

Dir: Emily Turner, Kirsty Cunningham

2026 in Action Heroine Films

If you had told me, when I wrote the preview for 2025, that the biggest hit of the year would be… KPop Demon Hunters? Yeah, I would have looked at you very oddly. But, certainly, in cultural terms – and especially if you have any young daughters – this was stunningly successful. It is now the most popular Netflix movie of all time, with over 325 million views worldwide – close to a hundred million more than the second-placed entry. I note, with some surprise, Damsel squeaking into the top ten. If I’d had to pick another GWG film there, I’d have gone with The Old Guard.

Otherwise, it was another thoroughly disappointing year, once again without a single action heroine film reaching the year-end top thirty at the North American box-officeBallerina was the highest-placed, at #34 – one place below the spot that Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga had in 2024. M3GAN 2.0 (#63) just outgrossed the cinematic re-release of KPop (#65), and those two were the only others to reach the top hundred. We’ll draw a veil over complete flops like In the Lost Lands, or Honey Don’t! and Christy, which even I haven’t found the energy needed, to get round to reviewing. 

I do predict that 2026 will break the streak, with one title in particular looking highly likely to make the biggest financial splash in our genre since the days before COVID. However, this is not exactly sticking my neck out, I will admit. Let’s take a look at that, and the other upcoming films which might be of interest in the year which began today. 

Alpha (April 17)

While America has the Marvel and DC Cinematic Universes, India has the YRF Spy Universe. This is a franchise which consists of high-powered action movies, featuring patriotism, giant fireballs and more ludicrously macho nonsense than you can imagine. But the seventh entry is the first female-led entry – indeed, it may be the first big-budget action heroine film in Bollywood history. Information about the plot is limited: “Two fierce female agents tackle dangerous missions in a thrilling world of espionage, as they navigate perilous situations, execute daring stunts, and face unexpected turns.” It’ll be interesting to see how this is received locally (it was pushed back from a Christmas Day release), but having enjoyed most of its predecessors, I’m genuinely intrigued. 

Apex (April 24)

This feels like the annual “Netflix Original movie starring Charlize Theron”. Between this and the Old Guard franchise, does the streamer have her under exclusive contract? This sees her play rock climber Sasha, “A grieving woman testing her limits in the Australian wilderness”, who finds herself “suddenly ensnared in a deadly game with a ruthless predator,” played by Taron Egerton. Yeah, based on their track records, I’m betting on Theron there. It’s directed by Baltasar Kormákur, whose Adrift I could have sworn I’d reviewed here, but apparently not. However, this will not be the only mountaineering action heroine film of the summer, because…

Cliffhanger (August 26)

This is a reboot of the Stallone movie from 1993, with a heroine taking Sly’s place. Naomi Cooper (Lily James) is the daughter of an experience mountain guide, who witnesses an excursion being ambushed by a gang of kidnappers, and has to save her sister and father. In other words, sounds like Die Hard on a mountain to me. However, director Jaume Collet-Serra has a decent track record, including The Shallows. I just hope James has beefed up for the role, and possesses arms appropriate for the task, rather than the twigs usually seen on Hollywood actresses. The picture (top) looks somewhat promising in that department.

Fall 2 (TBA)

The first film was a masterpiece of unease: my palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it. The sequel, which wrapped shooting in September under new directors The Spierig Brothers, reportedly has a similar plot, based on “the infamous plank walk of Mount Kwan in Thailand.” You will likely be unsurprised to hear that “A sudden rock-slide leaves them stranded on a fragile plank 3,000 feet in the air.” I would say this falls into the general category of, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” with regard to writing a sequel. But given the original was a hit, and justifiably so, I will be here for this – probably clutching the arm of my chair, hard.

The Internship (January 26)

Director James Bamford has been a busy man, having directed four movies last year, according to the IMDb. He has graced these pages before with Air Force One Down, Hard Home, and Jade. All of which got three stars from me, so he’s nothing if not consistent. This certainly has an interesting premise: “A CIA-trained assassin recruits other graduates from her secret childhood program, The Internship, to violently destroy the organization. The CIA fights back with deadly force.” I’m not familiar with lead Lizzy Greene, or any of the lead actresses, but it still looks like it’s going to be another solid enough piece of entertainment. Three-star review incoming, I suspect.

Killer Whale (January 16)

Well, at least it’s a bit of a spin on shark movies. I always wonder how orcas largely managed to avoid the same level of negative publicity: I mean, it’s right there in the name. It’s not like they’re called sea pandas. Even this one, the aquatic killer in question is given a justification, having previously been cooped up in captivity. This “Follows best friends Maddie and Trish as they find themselves trapped in a remote lagoon with the dangerous killer whale named Ceto.” Having watched the trailer, I have to say I am firmly on #TeamOrca, and hope they all get eaten. I trust the movie will only leave me somewhat disappointed. 

Mardaani 3 (February 27)

Despite what I said under Alpha, this franchise – also made by YRF – proves that there is room in Bollywood for action heroines. I reviewed both the first entry and its sequel here, so would expect the third installment to follow as well. Information is very limited, despite the release being just a few weeks away. Heroine Shivani Shivaji Roy will “investigate the most challenging case of her career” in “a dark, deadly and brutal chapter of the Mardaani franchise.” There’s no official trailer as yet either, just a bunch of fan-made fakes. 

Protector (February 20)

“Former war hero Nikki’s peaceful life is shattered when her daughter is kidnapped. Thrust into the criminal underworld while hunted by cops and military, she must fight to rescue her child.” Yeah, that sounds amazingly generic, doesn’t it. However, I am still looking forward to it, since it stars Milla Jovovich, whom I will watch in almost anything, e.g. In the Lost Lands. In a startling deviation from normal process, however, it is not directed by her husband, Paul W.S. Anderson. Instead, it’s Adrian Grunberg, who did Rambo: Last Blood. I’m still not expecting much more than amazingly generic. However, I’ll happily take amazingly generic with Milla, any day. 

Psycho Killer (February 20)

“The film follows police officer Jane Thorne (Georgina Campbell) on her mission to take down a serial killer known as the Satanic Slasher (James Preston Rogers), after he murdered her state trooper husband.” The script for this has been kicking around for close to twenty years, with director Gavin Polone attached to it as long ago as 2010. It does sound rather like it should be going straight to video sorry, I guess it’s now streaming, but is currently scheduled to be released theatrically – the same weekend as Protector. The same writer did Se7en, and looking at the trailer, it doesn’t appear this falls far from that particular tree. 

Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (April 10)

Samara Weaving is rapidly carving out a niche as one of my favourite action actresses. She was certainly the best thing about Ready or Not, which I liked – but not as much as some people. Still, it did well enough to merit a sequel. I’m hoping this will give her opportunity to shine, and give her opponents worthy of her mettle – something which was absent in the original film, and perhaps its biggest problem. Here, Grace MacCaullay (Weaving) is forced back into the game, after her sister is kidnapped, and made to play a new game against powerful families. With a supporting cast including Sarah-Michelle Gellar, Elijah Wood and David Cronenberg (! – but if you think he can’t play a psycho, go watch Nightbreed), I’m down. 

Seven Snipers (TBA)

“After retiring from her lethal career, elite sniper Kris Hendricks takes refuge on an Australian ranch with her rebellious 15-yearold daughter, Anja. But as a vengeful warlord named The Dragon tracks her down, she enlists her old team of elite killers to protect herself and her daughter to take out his deadly pawns one by one. When the true reasons for The Dragon’s revenge become clear, the deadly game of cat-and-mouse reaches an excruciating climax with unimaginable consequences for Kris and Anja.” I’m not sure who plays Kris, as the IMDb page has no character by that name, and the only photo released is of supporting actor Tim Roth. But the synopsis has promise. 

Supergirl (June 26)

If you hadn’t already guessed the title alluded to in the introduction, this is the one, and it is going to be big. How big, remains to be seen. Comic-book fatigue is real, without a doubt. But Superman still managed to be the #3 film last year. I don’t expect his little sister to do quite so well: it’s just not such a beloved character. There may also be some resonance from the eighties’ flop adaptation. But Superman was well-received, and primed the pump well for this. We saw with Captain Marvel how that can make a huge difference in box-office, regardless of the film’s quality. If this can crack the top ten for the year, it would become the first action heroine film to do so since Black Widow reached #4 in the COVID-affected box-office of 2021. 

As ever, all of this is subject to change: some may even end up in this feature again next year! There are also likely to be more released, especially in the latter half of the year, for titles which have not yet been formally assigned to 2026 yet on the IMDb. I did find some which might qualify, but there isn’t enough information to be sure. For example, Ursa Major stars Jessica Biel, and “Follows a mother and daughter who fight to survive on a terraformed planet while hiding from a group of relentless hunters.” Or Slay Day: “In Belle Falls, the dead rise on prom night, forcing Angie and her friends to fight for survival before the big dance becomes their last.” I’m inclined to leave those for now in a “We’ll see” category. 

But below, you’ll find a playlist of trailers for as many of the titles discussed above, as I could find!

Girls With Guns Calendars 2026

Welcome to our sixteenth annual round-up of girls with guns calendars. Dear lord, I have grandchildren younger than this feature. :) Not an enormous amount has changed since last time. Plans to move appear to have gone on the back burner for now. In part because our son has moved back in with us. I was assured, by a variety of sit-coms, that hilarity would ensue from this scenario. But it appears to have led purely to significantly increased Internet usage, and dishes being “left to soak” in the sink. Though our daughter is getting married on New Year’s Eve. Let’s hope it sticks this time, because we are not funding another wedding…

On the calendar front, all of the top contenders seem to be back for 2026, led – as ever! – by Tac Girls, who seem to have been doing this for longer than I have! A couple of no-shows at the bottom end of the pile, but I did find a couple of ptenti

Below, you’ll find prices (generally excluding shipping), sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more if we see them, feel free to email us if you know of any others. 

TAC GIRLS

Amazon link – $19.95 [though you may be able to find some coupons on TacGirls.com]

The Tactical Girls 2026 Bikini Gun Calendar has 13 months (1/26-1/27) of Beautiful Girls and Exotic Weaponry! Every Calendar includes a 12×24″ pull out mini-poster of cover model Natasha – slides out, no perforations to tear or staples to pull.

The 2026 Tactical Girls Calendar brings you 13 months of gorgeous pinup models with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. Includes the EAA MC14TX an AK-74 and an AR Pistol from Black Rain Ordnance. You’ll find sexy zombie hunters, secret agents, army girls and tributes to your favorite female action movie heroines cradling AR-15 carbines, battle rifles, machine guns, tactical pistols, and sniper rifles, 12 x 24 inches open!

Includes over 100 trivia dates from military, law enforcement and firearms history like The Battle of the Bulge, The Gunfight at the OK Corral and Samuel Colt’s birthday. Each month has detailed specs and notes about the weapon and the Tactical Girl’s Mission. Makes perfect Holiday gift for the Marine, Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Police Officer, Shooting Enthusiast, Hunter, Airsoft Player or History buff on your list. Fill that 2 foot square empty space on your Man Cave, garage, shop, barracks, armory or tent wall with 13 months of Girls and Guns. 100% produced and printed in the U.S.A. 10% of the print run of these calendars are donated to deployed soldiers and organizations that support them, notably AmericanSnipers.org.

WEAPON OUTFITTERS

WeaponOutfitters.com – $39.95

As last year, they have three different versions available: one (below) is PG-13 rated, while the other two are R-rated. “Carrying on the fine tradition of beautiful women with cool weaponry in calendars into the modern era, the Weapon Outfitters calendars have been a mainstay of the firearms world for over a decade, and we continue this fine tradition with the 2026 calendars. With 12 months of high resolution, studio and natural light photography of models with guns, this would make an excellent addition to any gun room, garage, or office if your HR department is REALLY cool.” Full disclosure: I was sent copies of all three. I am very happy. :) 

GUNS AND GIRLS

Ebay.com – $15.32

The 2026 Guns & Girls Deluxe Wall Calendar is a must-have for enthusiasts of firearms and beautiful women. This high-quality calendar features stunning photographs of gorgeous models posing with various guns, from classic revolvers to modern assault rifles. Each month showcases a different theme, ensuring a year-round celebration of these two iconic American passions. With its large 16″ x 24″ size , the vibrant images are sure to captivate your attention. As an added bonus, this deluxe edition includes a free poster, perfect for adorning your wall or workspace. Indulge in the perfect blend of power and beauty with the 2025 Guns & Girls Deluxe Wall Calendar.

DILLON PRECISION

DillonPrecision.com – $24.95

I’m going to recycle last year’s joke about Dillon Precision, who limit the information regarding their product to: “Dimensions: 13.5 X 26.5”. They clearly believe a picture is worth a thousand words…

ZAHAL GIRLS

zahal.org – $35.00

We are proud to unveil the ZAHAL Girls 2026 Calendar – our most exclusive edition yet, printed on premium glossy paper with an all-new, refined design. This stunning calendar combines the unmatched authenticity of former IDF women with cutting-edge tactical gear, captured in bold, contemporary settings. No gimmicks. No gun bunnies – only true IDF veterans. Exclusive Bonus: Every order ships FREE worldwide – no minimums, no codes. Each month presents a meticulously crafted portrait showcasing not only the individuality and strength of these remarkable women but also the spirit and ethos of the IDF. With its artistic blend of tactical aesthetics, evocative backdrops and first-class print quality, the 2026 Calendar is both a tribute and a collector’s piece. Whether displayed in your home, office or training space, this calendar offers 12 months of inspiration, empowerment and exclusivity – a celebration of courage, dedication and style.

WILD DAKOTA GIRLS

wilddakotagirls.com – $18.00

As with last year, the cover doesn’t include any armament. But the promotional videos definitely include some firearms, so that works.

THE JOY OF SHOOTING

JoyOfShooting.com – $27.99, also available in an autographed edition.

As with last year, this one is uncertain. The 2025 calendars only arrived on the site on December 7, so I am currently holding out hope that a 2026 edition will show up there in the next week or two. Below is the 2025 cover, which managed to get ahead of the curve and beat Ballerina to the punch by using a frickin’ flamethrower

HOT CHICKS COLD STEEL

Amazon – $14.39

  • Photography – Enjoy stunning, full-color photographs or artwork every single month
  • Durable Construction – Sturdy, high-quality paper resists curling and ink bleed-through, and durable binding ensures longevity throughout the year
  • Use Right Away – 16-month calendar is comprised of 12 full monthly pages preceded by a bonus image accompanying the last four months of the previous year
  • Large, Roomy Day Blocks – All major holidays and moon phases listed, with plenty of room for writing notes and appointments
  • Specifications – 16 months (January–December 2026) monthly two-page layouts plus a four month BONUS IMAGE including September–December 2025 mini grids; 12″ x 12″ (closed); 12″ x 24″ (opened); 28 pages

AMAZON

Finally, here are a couple I found on Amazon: I’m not certain if they are actually calendars, since the descriptions seem potentially rather more like a book. On another product, I found a customer review which said that was exactly what it was. So, buyer beware with regard to these, and I’m including them solely for the purpose of completeness, with no warranty given or implied…

The World of Ronia, the Robber’s Daughter

The author – a.k.a. “Made in Sweden”

Astrid Lindgren (1907-2002) was an acclaimed Swedish author of children books, probably best known for her Pippi Longstocking books (1945-48). It’s heroine was a “break all the rules” child character, behaving in a way seen as both unthinkable and inacceptable in the 1940s. They were possibly influenced by the earlier Anne of Green Gables books by L.M. Montgomery, but also by the little girls Lindgren knew, as well as her own childhood memories. It is interesting to note that the character was often used by early feminists as a role model – and still is today, by those who are critical of the system. Indeed, it is said that Stieg Larsson’s dark anti-heroine Lisbeth Salander was inspired by Pippi.

Lindgren had a huge impact on modern ideas of how children should be treated and raised, in a way often seen as anti-establishment. She went on to write many more children’s books that were equally beloved, though Pippi probably remains her most famous character. In 1978 she initial declined the “Peace Price of the German Book Trade”, giving a speech in which she spoke against violence ever being used in raising children. She also remained an important voice in Swedish politics, and many of her books were turned under her watchful eye into movies and TV series, often co-productions between Swedish film companies and German TV channels. According to Wikipedia, Lindgren is the world’s 18th most translated author, and it is estimated her books have sold 167 million copies worldwide, in 95 different languages. There is even an asteroid named after her!

The Book (1981) – a.k.a. “Memories are made of this”
Literary rating: ★★★★★
Kick-butt quotient: ☆☆

In her later life, Lindgren’s novels became more grown-up, though still being written for children, and definitely took on a darker tone. In 1973’s The Brothers Lionheart, she dealt with heavy subjects like suicide, mortality and the trauma of losing a beloved one. It was much discussed at the time of publication, though can with good conscience still be called a fantasy book. Her final, and maybe best, novel was Ronia, the Robber’s Daughter (original title: Ronja rövardotter). This is a return into the Swedish woods Lindgren loved so much. She had to leave her home-town in the province of Småland, after becoming pregnant as a single young woman. She re-located to Stockholm, married and had a second child but never returned. Many of her books play out in small towns, on islands or in fantasy countries, and deal with the loneliness of young children, as well as their friendships and adventures with each other.

It is never stated explicitly when the story takes place, but it can be estimated at some time in the early middle ages. Ronia is the daughter of Matt (original: Mattis), chief of a robber gang living in the so-called “Mattiswood”, and his wife Lovis. As a young child in the forest, she discovers fantastic and deeply frightening creatures such as gnomes and trolls, as well as the deadly harpies (original: vildvittror – there’s no English equivalent, since they are an original invention by Lindgren). Matt’s castle was split in two by a lightning bolt on the day of Ronia’s birth. Eventually, another group of robbers settles in the other half – much to Matt’s annoyance as he has been fighting their chief, Borka, since his youth. Ronia herself initially despises Borka’s son, Birk. But after some initial resistance she grows fond of him and they explore the Mattiswood, although their friendship has to remain a secret. Unfortunately, a situation occurs where she has to choose between her friend and her father.

That’s the story, in an admittedly brief nutshell. You can see touches of Romeo and Juliet in it, but the story may also have autobiographical aspects, Lindgren dealing with her own relationship to her father. We don’t know for sure, and the book is much more than a story. It’s a plea to overcome hatred, plus a depiction of growing up and the circle of life. This is seen in the character of “Bald-Per”, a supporting but important character, who serves as a father figure to Matt. He shares the love for untamed nature, beautiful as well as cruel. It’s also about the value of friendship and taking a stand for who you are and for whom you care for. That’s quite a lot to chew on, and more than most children’s books ever dare to offer their young readers.

The book was originally published in 1981 with illustrations by long-time Lindgren-collaborator Ilon Wikland and became – like most of Lindgren’s books – a big success. It has been turned into a movie, a TV series, an anime series, a musical and a stage play several times.

The original movie and TV series (1984) – a.k.a. “A mainstay of 1980s children’s fantasy”
Movie rating: ★★★
TV series rating: ★★★

Inevitably, it became a movie and TV series, as with her Pippi or Emil of Lönneberga books. In most cases, the process was to produce a TV series, with an edited version then released in cinemas. It’s still the case with many Swedish series today, e. g. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. In this case “edited” is not quite accurate, since it was meant to be a movie and a TV series from the beginning. There is some confusion over different cuts of the TV series: in Germany it was shown in three parts, but Sweden saw it in six. Both the movie and TV versions have some scenes which didn’t make it into the other. The movie runs two hours, the TV series 15 minutes longer. As the usual director of Lindgren adaptations, Olle Hellbom, had died, this was directed by Tage Danielsson, a former actor in Lindgren movies himself: he also died, shortly after finishing the movie.

In general, this wonderful film stays true to Lindgren’s book – not too surprising, considering she wrote the screenplay. It also fits the era’s desire to embrace nature and natural environments. In the 80s, the world was suffering from environmental pollution, smog and acid rain, leading to the German expression “Waldsterben” (the death of woods). Chemical and industrial waste was being fed into rivers, we had the hole in the ozone layer and so on. At the same time, the 80s was a period when the fantasy genre dominated screens for the first time in a big way. America gave us movies such as Legend, Labyrinth and Willow. Europe produced Excalibur, The NeverEnding Story and Time Bandits. While on TV there was Robin of Sherwood.

But while the movie was beloved, I had problems with it, despite my young age. First of all, the characters looked different from the book illustrations. Ronia, who had dark curls in the book, had long flowing hair; Birk, whose hair was like a copper helmet, had curls. I also found issue with the child actors, in particular, that they seemed much too young. Based on the illustrations and what went on in the story, I always figured Ronia and Birk to be in their early teens: here the actors were 11 years old, and didn’t fit my own inner image of them. The special effects…  alright, while you wouldn’t expect something on the level of George Lucas and ILM, I found them unsatisfying, especially the harpies. They were so intimidating and loaded with a frightening, sadistic aura in the book. Here? Actresses in costumes in front of a badly lit green-screen.

However, revisiting both recently, I can say: The movie wasn’t as bad as I thought. I still had to cope with the beautiful, touching prose of Lindgren, stressing the feeling of loneliness, emotional pain and danger, being replaced with something closer to a bucolic comedy, seriously underplaying the dramatic conflicts inherent in and so vital to the story. Especially, Börje Ahlstedt, who played Matt, steals the limelight from everyone else when on screen. Which is not necessarily a good thing: while Matt is a key character and, to some degree, the antagonist, young actress Hanna Zetterberg can hardly stand up against him. That said, I do think Zetterberg, and Dan Håfström as Birk, gave good performances for their age, and the movie has grown on me over the decades. Though, I guess you wouldn’t show children as young as these swimming naked in a movie today, for obvious reasons. But the 80s were a more innocent time.

Wikipedia tells me the movie was the Swedish entry for the Best Foreign Language Film at the 58th Academy Awards, although it did not get nominated. Though it was awarded the Silver Bear at the 35th Berlin International Film Festival, and was also the highest-grossing film of the year in Sweden. So, what the heck do I know?

The anime (2014) – a.k.a. “Doing justice to the book”
Anime rating: ★★★★

Since I always loved the book, through multiple re-readings, I always wished for a better adaptation. Who would have thought that it would come in the form of Japanese anime? Goro Miyazaki, the son of the great Hayao Miyazaki, turned the children classic into a 26-episode series, original running from October 2014 to March 2015. It was a co-production between Dwango, NHK, NHK Enterprises, Polygon Pictures and Studio Ghibli. I believe it is the only TV series Ghibli ever produced, though they did some TV movies. It has to be said –  and it’s my one big complaint – that this is not really animated, in the sense of hand-drawn, but is CGI-animated,, and it… uhm… shows. So do not expect the greatness of a typical Studio Ghibli movie, and less still the overwhelming greatness of a Hayao Miyazaki movie. What was not acceptable for a long time, was that it was only available in the West in over-priced DVD volumes, and not everyone is willing to lay out 120 Euro or more. But now, you can get the whole collection for a fraction of that price – or just stream it online.

But the show itself is great. I was initially at odds with an anime style that, in typical Ghibli fashion, had Ronia looking more like Heidi. Yet it is an adaptation that leaves hardly anything out from the book. Even tiny details and the imaginings of Ronia, find their way in this visual translation. Events that are only told by others, like some robbers getting captured by the law, are depicted here too. And finally, they get the character of Birk right, one that was totally misrepresented in the previous version. It’s my absolute conviction we will never get an adaptation of the material more true to the original story than this.

Bald-Per, who became such a clown in the first live-action version, regains the deeper aspect of wisdom and irony that he possessed in the novel. I really love the depiction of the supernatural beings of the wood, such as those trying to lure Ronia into their underground realm. The harpies finally get the unique beauty and horrific grandeur, I wanted them to have – extra kudos for casting Angelina Jolie’s German voice actress in that role! The only thing to disappoint me is, once again, the age of the children. While Ronia and Birk have the right hairstyles, they seem even younger. Still, I must recommend the series to everyone who has read and loved the book, and wants a faithful adaptation. This show doesn’t downplay the more grown-up aspects of the novel – which is strange, considering the author did that when adapting her own book for the screen previously.

The new TV series (2022) – a.k.a. “Modernizing a classic”
TV series rating: ★★★

After a long time where no one seemed to have access to the new adaptation, it would finally be shown on German TV over Christmas 2024. Or, to be exact, the first season, containing six episodes, was shown; the second, also in six parts, screened the following Easter. Part of the reason for the long wait was due to the show being used to launch a new Scandinavian streaming channel, that never really was successful, got into trouble, and as far as I believe, has ceased to exist. The series was a co-production with the public German TV channel ARD. Traditionally, German TV has a long history in co-producing Scandinavian TV series, starting with the Pippi Longstocking TV show in the 1960s. This version was written by Hans Rosenfeldt, one of those responsible for the very successful Danish crime series, The Killing, and the director is Lisa James Larsson.

The most interesting things are the changes to the story. While mostly true to the original, new characters, scenes and an additional plot have been added. There’s a corrupt sheriff in the nearby town, paid off by Borka, but who is put under pressure by the female town leader Valdir. Also, female bounty hunters Cappa and Smarvis are added, and employ a black man to go undercover in Matthis’ gang. Obviously in 2022 a diversity quota must be fulfilled, even though two weaponed women hardly make sense in medieval Sweden. I doubt Lindgren would have approved of the female warrior type, such a common trope today, since her message was always about children and peace. Though I don’t necessarily complain about it!

But it has to be said: half the screen time in the series is dedicated to these new characters, not from Lindgren and not part of the book. It’s all added by the filmmakers of their own accord. I’m not sure I like their choices. It unnecessarily complicates an otherwise simple story, and shifts it away from the fantastical aspects, becoming too much a social message-board on poverty, inclusion and discrimination. Main characters have been slightly changed: Matthis comes across here as a more down-to-earth, common-sense type, a father justifiably worried about his daughter, rather than the classic, hotheaded version.

On the other hand Lovis, Ronja’s mother, appears much less bossy than previous versions, and Bald-Per is less a weird, obnoxious old man, and more an understanding mentor that touches Ronia’s (and our) heart. These are changes you have to digest, although they are not necessarily bad. Key elements from the story are still here, such as the Wolf’s song Lovis always sings for Ronia, the Glupa Fall, and the wonderful idea of Lindgren’s that a child must make their own experiences outside, even though it’s dangerous. [No modern parents would let their children into a wood full of dangerous creatures!] These have been retained and take on an initiation form. “What are you watching out for today?”, asks Bald-Per, when Ronia leaves again for the wood after having encountered grey gnomes and harpies first-hand, just days before.

FX-wise this new version is definitely up-to-date compared with the old version. But in the latter’s defense, there were no computers doing effects in movies then, so it had to rely on puppets and animatronics. For the first time the Grey Gnomes appear here as really frightening. Unfortunately, the design of the Harpies has been changed. They look more like large CGI-animated predatory birds while originally, they were hybrids of ravishing beautiful women with birds. For me they always symbolized the dark side of grown-up female sexuality and cruelty, and therefore Ronia’s unspoken anxiety of becoming a grown-up woman herself. This is, of course, only my interpretation, but I find it regrettable this shadowy aspect was totally abandoned here.

What you lose on one side, you gain on the other. I love very much the idea that Matthis takes Ronia on her first raid. Seeing with her own eyes what the robbers do, shatters Ronia’s image of her father and cements her decision never to become like him. While this became a subject later in the book, too, it never played such an important role. I actually do think this scene is an improvement. Interestingly, Ronia shows no qualms when the robbers kill a reindeer for food. I suspect Lindgren might have rejected that scene, though it’s logical that in winter the robbers have to become hunters.

Admittedly, some things don’t make sense to me, such as there being quite a lot of black people in this show. Undis, Borka’s wife, does not look very Scandinavian to me. Honestly, folks, this plays in Sweden, around the 13th century, when the population was likely quite homogenously Caucasian. Do we really need the standard equality nonsense here, too? As noted the strong social justice message replaces the essential core of the original story, about the love of nature and overcoming hostilities. Though Lindgren likely wouldn’t have objected, since she was clearly left-leaning! Also, when Ronia is little she is blond with straight hair; when she becomes a teen, she is a brunette with curls, as she should be. Couldn’t they cast a little girl with brunette curls for the early scenes? 

I still like the story, though if I had to choose, my vote would probably go to either the 1984 version or the anime series. One problem I find in all versions is the representation of Ronia and Birk. This is no exception. While I think the actors for Ronia (Kerstin Linden) and Birk (Jack Bergenholtz Henriksson) are absolutely adequate, and I like that for the first time ever the characters are shown as a bit older, more in keeping with the idea of the book. I somehow still miss the hotheadedness and impulsivity Ronia embodies, a character trait she definitely inherited from Matthis, as well as the cocky arrogance Birk displayed in the book. That said, I like the new version of the characters nevertheless.

In general, the new version can stand on its own feet but feels a bit toned down and tame compared with the original. The fantastic aspects play more a supporting role here, which I find less satisfying, and a clear minus point is that the enormous love of Lindgren for this magical wood and nature is hardly felt. Yes, the Swedish landscapes are beautiful as they should be. But the feeling this wild, magical forest was essential to tell Ronia’s story isn’t there anymore. The story loses quite a bit when its ending is changed, with Cappa and and a group of soldiers invading Matthis’ part of the castle to take revenge for the death of her father, for which Matthis’ father was responsible. This revenge story doesn’t fit Lindgren’s attitude to life and beliefs, and its solution comes out of nowhere: Cappa and Smarvis vanish from the story without ever being mentioned again.

While the original story was mostly adapted 1:1, this new story-line feels as if someone took an existing work by a famous artist and paints some additional elements and characters into it. It just feels wrong, and dilutes the original. This was really not necessary, and for me, is a sign of the vanity of the new writers and film makers who think they can “improve” upon Lindgren and make her timeless story “more contemporary”. That said, the new series is still watchable and entertaining.

Over the years, Ronja Rövardotter has become a similar national icon for Sweden like Lindgren’s other great heroine, Pippi Longstocking. The book and its characters have stood the test of time and can rightfully be called a classic. I wouldn’t be too surprised if one day, in the not-so-distant future, we get another version of Ronia. The good thing is that – up until now, at least – Hollywood has not tried to give us an Americanized version of her, unlike Pippi or Lisbeth Salander!

Calamity Jane: A World Full of Calamities

Inspired by Jim’s impressive research and writing on all things Joan of Arc, this is my attempt to try out something similar concerning Martha Jane Canary (or Cannary, since the spelling seems to constantly change, depending on who is writing about her) – better known as Calamity Jane. This is NOT intended to be about the real person, who lived from around 1856 until 1903, but its topic is the Western myth she has become. I won’t delve into her real history. A short biography can be found at the beginning of my review on the animated series The Legend of Calamity Jane but occasionally I will refer to certain aspects of her real life in the reviews here, too.

She herself worked quite a bit on her own legend, by inventing stories about herself. Dime novel writers and reporters helped, so much that it has almost become impossible to separate the real person from the fictional character she became. Over the course of over a century, Calamity Jane has constantly inspired film makers, authors and artists to create their own interpretation of her.

The idea of a cross-dressing woman with a rifle and a whip, breaking the rule book for women, drinking, going her own way and experiencing adventures in the world of men and what we now call the “Wild West”, attracts a lot of people who can impose their own wishes, dreams, desires, hopes and fears on that colorful character. Calamity Jane can be almost everything for everyone.

May the dedicated reader find his own preferred version of Calamity Jane in the many different stories cited below!


Films

Wild Bill and Calamity Jane in the Days of ’75 and ’76 (1915)
Dir: The Hart Brothers

It seems that this obscure film is the first to feature Calamity Jane at all. I could not find it online, just a 4 1/2 minutes snippet about it on YouTube, so no star-ranking here. A.L. Johnson stars as Wild Bill and Freeda Hartzell Romine as Jane Cassidy aka Calamity Jane. I’ve no idea why her family name of Cannary (or Canary) was changed here to Cassidy. The movie is said to be 70 minutes long and obviously is one of the earliest film productions of Nebraska (though the filmmakers themselves were from Omaha, the movie was produced for the “Black Hills Feature Film Company”). 

The story has been described as Wild Bill and Jack McCall being in a love triangle with Calamity Jane. It is also said that Calamity Jane frequently wears “skirts rather than buckskins” in the movie. I have the feeling that this here is more about Bill (who shows a white-clothed and skirted Jane in the first scene how to shoot) than about her. General Custer is also part of the character ensemble. However, the film is of historical value, since genuine Sioux Native Americans from the Pine Ridge Reservation as well as soldiers from Fort Robinson, were cast as extras. It also includes some nice shots of how Nebraska looked in 1915, which is a real glimpse into the past. 

Caught (1931)
Dir: Edward Sloman

Again, all I could find was an 11-minute snippet on YouTube, so no star-ranking here. Let’s begin with a summary, directly from the IMDb: “Calamity Jane is a tough and rowdy woman in the old West who owns a saloon and gambling joint (and runs a cattle rustling operation as a sideline). One day she hires a pretty but naive young woman to work as a saloon girl, and finds that the girl is bringing out the maternal instincts she never knew she had. Those instincts are put to the test when a US army cavalry troop arrives to clean up the town and the girl and the young lieutenant in charge of the troop fall in love, and Calamity Jane may know something about the lieutenant that the girl doesn’t.”

So much for that: the whole movie is just 68 minutes long. Louise Dresser plays the charismatic heroine here but appears more like an overweight middle-aged brothel madam with a heart of gold. In the snippet we see her protect a young girl from being abused by a saloon guest, and walking around in a woman’s dress. That is very far away from how Calamity Jane is usually portrayed on film – young and beautiful. But, ironically, it might be closer to the real person, going by photos of Martha Jane Cannary, and the claim the historical Calamity Jane once worked for a time as a prostitute. Oh, and there is no Wild Bill here, so I guess this movie does not try to couple Calamity with him.

The Plainsman (1936)
★★★½
Dir: Cecil B. DeMille

The real beginning of Calamity Jane movies is a mixed bag in my opinion, though directed by the great Cecil B. DeMille (The Ten Commandments). The story feels less like a cohesive whole, and more like a string of separate episodes, intended to bring together historic characters such as Lincoln, General Custer, Bill Cody (a.k.a. Buffalo Bill), Wild Bill Hickok and, last but not least, Calamity Jane. Most of these people never met in real life – though, points for honesty, the intro already points that out. (Side-note: watching the intro text might give you an idea where George Lucas stole the idea for his intros to his Star Wars movies).

The main focus is here on Bill Hickok (Gary Cooper), a man of honor but also a notorious gunslinger. He drags his old but newly-wed friend Bill Cody, into helping him deliver munition for 48 army soldiers who are endangered by a thousand native Americans. By today’s standards, this movie might be considered racist, as it ticks more or less all the boxes of clichés concerning native Americans. Not least – and how could it be any different – they are played by white actors and speak in what sounds for me like a made-up language. Particularly questionable, I feel, is a scene where native warriors surround Calamity inside a house and the light slowly darkens, suggesting a possible gang rape.

But to discuss Calamity Jane, played by blonde Jean Arthur: while she looks cool in the male Western garb Jane traditionally wears (except when, as so often – here, too – there is a scene where she is convinced to put on a dress), she didn’t quite convince me. Hickok is not on good terms with her here, it being suggested she slept with almost every assistant and post station manager.  Honestly, this was not very believable when watching petite, childlike Arthur, who doesn’t seem to be the promiscuous type. Wild Bill is hurt by this, and when the movie is not showing us native Americans, treacherous weapon suppliers or exploring the friendship between the two Bills, she seems to be running constantly behind him like a lovesick teen girl. There’s no denial; this portrayal of Jane feels a bit of a fake.

Cooper plays it cool to the hilt so much, he sometimes comes across as arrogant. Arthur’s Calamity Jane too often appears immature – not helped by her voice sounding like a duck. A big deal is made of the fact that in order to save Hickok from being burned alive, she tells the warriors where extra munitions can be found. In the end, when it seems Hickok grew weary of so much killing, a happy ending seems possible for them – alas, history wants otherwise. I don’t want to sound too negative, but it feels a bit of a hodgepodge. Don’t misunderstand: it is indeed an entertaining classic Western, with a message that violence can always only bear more violence. But I really wished the characters would not have been so over the top. I also wanted a more wholesome relationship between the two main characters (most of the time Hickok treats Jane condescendingly) and a stronger cooler Calamity. But a nice beginning it is.

Young Bill Hickok (1940)
★★★
Dir: Joseph Kane

Young Bill Hickok is a relatively short (just over 50 minutes) early Western, with Roy Rogers. And, yes: he does sing.  If the story is nothing extraordinary I felt adequately entertained, considering how old the movie is. In the Civil War, the North wants the war to end, therefore a special gold delivery has to be brought to… ah… some place… I guess? Young Bill Hickok is given the confidence to carry out the dangerous task, with a gang called “the Overland Riders” likely to rob the transport. He sets his transport up as a decoy, while in reality the gold is transported by close friends Gabby Whitaker (George “Gabby” Hayes, an absolute regular in many classic Westerns) and Calamity Jane (Sally Payne). Unfortunately for all, Hickok’s fiance, Louise (Julie Bishop) confides that secret to the villain of the piece, Towers. He then robs the right transport, and frames Hickok, who has to flee and prove his innocence.

Yes, sure: the story won’t win any Oscars. The important thing for me was: I was amused. There is nothing extraordinary here, as mentioned. You get horse chases, an annoyed and worried fiance, one-dimensional villains and so on. But the whole thing is so nicely uncomplicated, innocently done and told as only a classic Western can be. I have to say I didn’t expect much more. Sally Payne comes over as a normal, sympathetic young girl in Western garb, who is also allowed to shoot, given her nickname by her Uncle Gabby. I greatly preferred her “normalcy” to the overdone, constantly crying character Jean Arthur tried to sell me. This Jane is also constantly in the movie, a contrary to so many films where she is present in a couple of scenes. Her dance scene on the saloon table is very funny, too!

My verdict: Very watchable!

Badlands of Dakota (1941)
★★★
Director: Alfred E. Green

I wondered if it would be appropriate to call this movie a Western: for much of the time, it plays more like a love story with broken promises and heartaches. However, you also have saloons, card gamblers, horse chases and (fake) native Americans. The usual suspects are once again prominent too: General Custer, Wild Bill Hickok (Richard Dix), Calamity Jane, of course and Deadwood. But the main story is a love story gone wrong. Bob Holliday asks his brother Jimmy (Robert Stack, who’d go on to be Elliott Ness in television’s The Untouchables) to look after his fiancee, Anne (Ann Rutherford), and accompany her to a wedding in Deadwood. Unfortunately, Jimmy falls in love with Ann and they marry. When Bob finds out, he is furious and plots his revenge: He recommends his brother to become new Sheriff of Deadwood and tries everything to discredit him and driving Jimmy out of town.

In the midst of all this heartache is Calamity Jane. This time, not in love with Bill Hickok but the somewhat chubby Bob, so her heart still gets broken. It ends with her shooting Bob in order to save Jimmy from him. This film would probably be quite forgettable. Except there is enough action and a surprising amount of humor, mostly delivered by supporting characters who sometimes made me really laugh hysterically due to their – intentional – stupidity. The 80 minutes went by very quickly, and I can’t say, I wasn’t entertained. The quality of the entertainment is a different matter…

With regard to Jane (Frances Farmer), this film fares much better than the Cooper-Arthur one. Yes, it’s obviously difficult to get the love story out of a story with Calamity Jane – see also: almost all other entries here. But the blonde, attractive Farmer appears more believable in this role than Jean Arthur. This Calamity is described as a frontier-woman who worked as a scout for General Custer, doesn’t seem to be a criminal and walks with confidence into the saloon to get a beer. It is very funny when a heartbroken Jane forces the male band at gunpoint to continue playing music, though they would all rather go home. She does lose a bit of my esteem, when Jimmy and Anne arrive. Mistakenly thinking Anne is here to marry Bob, she goes straight to Anne and tells her to leave the town on the next stage. Still, this Calamity is a step in the right direction, albeit with a long way to go.

The Paleface (1948)
★★★★
Dir: Norman Z. McLeod

Jim already wrote a review on this Bob Hope comedy Western, which succeeds mostly through the antics of Mr. Hope – as well as Jane Russell’s cool, sexy and take-no-prisoners Calamity. The whole thing is a very, very funny romp and politically so incorrect that it couldn’t be produced today. In one scene In-… ah… native Americans attack a log cabin in the woods where Hope is defending the people inside – or at least thinks he is the one shooting the warriors. When the Bureau of Indian Affairs comes along and sees a whole pile of dead people, he shouts out, “It’s not my fault, they started it!” Yes, the humour of the 1940s is definitely not ours anymore.

That said, the movie in general is a lot of fun. I felt as if it was a James Bond film – well, if Bond movies had been around in the 1940s, featured Jane Russell as Bond and were disguised as a Western. Her task is to find out who is delivering fire guns to the wild warriors, and she has to go undercover. Also this is the first time we get a Calamity Jane Western in colour. The audience liked it well enough that a sequel, Son of Paleface, was produced 4 years later, though Jane Russell played a different character there. She would also portray a similar character in Montana Belle (1952).

Calamity Jane and Sam Bass (1949)
★★★
Dir: George Sherman

While her name appears first, the main protagonist in this Western is Sam Bass (Howard Duff). Bass, a real-life person, was a train robber but here is depicted in a mainly positive light. He is a cowboy who knows horses and hopes to earn a living to marry store owner, Katherine Egan (Dorothy Hart). But as he is a newcomer in town, he is regarded sceptically by her brother, the town’s sheriff. He wins a horse-racing bet with money lent by the sheriff, but as this seems to prove his unreliable, no-good character he loses his job on the sheriff’s ranch. A couple of bad decisions, a betrayal and the mean murder of his horse later, and his fate is doomed. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as the saying goes!

So what we have here is a morality tale: don’t gamble, folks, and earn your living by hard work. More interesting for the Calamity Jane fan here, is Hollywood actress Yvonne de Carlo who could be found in a number of historical movies around the time. Her brunette Jane has very little similarity to the way the character is usually depicted. She is no criminal – well, not in the beginning, the sympathetic character of Sam drags everyone down with him – but a successful horse racer. As Sam helps her in the beginning she is attracted to him, just like Katherine. Sam is depicted as a victim of circumstances, but I’m not quite on his side. He must take some responsibility for the tragedy he experiences, since not only is he naive, but thinks the fact others don’t play by the rules, gives him permission to do so, too.

While Mrs. de Carlo is very attractive, this is a very tame Jane: She doesn’t curse, shoot or crack a whip. She is mainly defined by being dressed in the usual male garb and speaks to men as an equal. She certainly doesn’t have an overbearing sheriff brother at home, who decides who would be good for her. But then, she questions Sam’s wish for a farm and family life, telling him they could go and win every horse race there is. So, what’s my verdict? The movie is essentially a film noir in colour, dressed as a Western – albeit maybe not as melodramatic as others. Of special interest are some well-known names in the cast: a very young Lloyd Bridges, Hitchcock villain Norman Lloyd (Saboteur) and the gangster in two James Bond movies, Marc Lawrence (Diamonds are Forever and The Man with the Golden Gun). But if you want a typical Calamity Jane portrayal, look elsewhere – the one here is “in name only”.

The Texan Meets Calamity Jane (1950)
★★★
Dir: Ande Lamb

There might be some confusion over this little known Western, since it was re-released in 1952 as Calamity Jane meets the Texan. This appears to be less than a B-movie, with a limited budget, no big-name actors, produced, written and directed by the same man. Calamity Jane (Evelyn Ankers) still mourns the death of good friend Wild Bill years earlier. He left her his saloon, but scheming Matt Baker has found Bill’s last living relative, Miss Mullen (played by Grace Lee Whitney, later known as Janice Rand in Star Trek) and wants to buy that saloon from her, as there is no proof that Jane inherited the saloon rightfully from Bill. Miss Mullen sends lawyer Ellion to Deadwood City to investigate the matter where he is immediately met by Jane and her older sidekick Colorado.

Evelyn Ankers was a B-movie actress who could be seen in The Wolfman (1941) next to Lon Chaney; Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Terror with Basil Rathbone; a Tarzan movie and a couple of others. This is no exception: not great art and no great Western either. But it is the usual standard Western fare which at the time was almost produced on a conveyor-belt. That said, it is as good or bad as any other average Western of that time. You can get some entertainment value: it’s just plain okay, but not much more. While Mrs. Ankers does the job, her Calamity Jane hardly leaves any impression, and doesn’t really deserve that name. She could just have been named Abigail Jones for that matter. 

Calamity Jane (1953)
★★★★
Dir: David Butler

This is probably the most famous movie featuring Calamity. Which is kind of odd, considering that this happens to be a musical and she is played here by Doris Day. Although it’s understandable why Day called this her favorite movie. Here she is allowed to behave as un-ladylike as she wants, very often with hilarious results. She nevertheless stays cute, despite portraying Calamity as a bit of a klutz who has no idea how a woman should behave or how to get a man. It is a very strange entry indeed in the CJ-filmography. From a modern perspective, there is a recognizable queer undertone running through the movie. Early on, there’s a female impersonator singing on stage; Wild Bill (played by Howard Keel) loses a bet and must appear dressed as a squaw; and not least, Day singing the famous song Secret Love, with a subtext that at the time, probably only lesbian audience members might have been able to read.

But it’s all in good fun – and most fun of all, is to admire the multi-talented Day here as she sings, dances, rides, shoots and emotes. I was especially impressed by the physical flexibility she demonstrates on multiple occasions, and she was also a born comedian. At the same time, this is a product of more prudish times: It’s constantly suggested that Calamity would be a real catch if she would learn to wear ladies’ dresses, use perfume and behave more like a lady. She does that – but honestly, I didn’t agree with the movie’s attitude. I like my Calamity more as one who breaks the traditional female rule-book. But it should be noted, the musical became so beloved over time, it still gets revived for theatres nowadays.

Bonus points: She cracks her famous whip. All in all, this musical provides a jolly good time and is nothing more than classic movie entertainment. If you like this one, I would also recommend to you the 1950s musical Annie Get Your Gun, about famous sharp-shooter Annie Oakley.

Calamity Jane (1963)
★★★★
Dir: Ernie Flatt

Ten years after the Doris Day-movie, CBS produced this remake, a TV movie which can be watched on YouTube. It’s marvellous to find such a little gem from the “Stone Age” of TV. Of course, every moment shows it didn’t have the budget of the 1953 movie: It’s in black and white, and happens on a theatre stage with a live audience, whose reaction you can hear – they obviously had a blast. The sound is as primitive as you would expect for such a production, and there is a lengthy advertisement for sponsor Lipton Tea at the beginning, as well as some later commercial interruptions. None of which makes this version any less enjoyable. 

Indeed, I would say that this Jane, depicted here by Carol Burnett and reprising a role she had played on stage, feels more tomboyish than the previous version. Doris Day never could quite escape her essential “sweet-heartiness”, quite probably part of her core identity. Burnett has comedic timing on her side and gives Jane a wonderful, playful and cocky attitude. On the other hand, probably due to a lack of means, training and money, she can never fully display the acrobatic flexibility Day showed, though this production does its best to replicate it. Burnett is supported by a satisfying, but not really exciting, Wild Bill Hickok, played by Art Lund, who comes across as a cheaper version of John Wayne.

The songs are regrettably shortened here which reduces the runtime of the movie by around 15 minutes, compared to the Day version. It makes this more of a comedy than a musical, and while I would always prefer the colorful, large-scale cinematic version, I like this a lot. I may be in the minority, but I preferred Carol Burnett’s funny tomboy to Day’s emoting love klutz. 

The Raiders (1963)
★★★
Director: Herschel Daugherty

After the Civil War, Texan farmers repeatedly lose their livestock during a cattle trail to gangsters and Indians, and want train companies to build a line to Texas. After their demand is rejected, the desperate landowners,  under the leadership of ex-colonel John G. McElroy (Brian Keith) start to attack army deliveries and camps to get their grievance heard. This results in Wild Bill Hickok (Robert Culp) and Buffalo Bill Cody (Jim McMillan) having to intervene, to prevent something that could trigger another war.

This was definitely made for a middling budget, and with underwhelming camerawork and staging: the camera positions and actors often appear fixed and immobile, unless they are riding on their horses. But it is a good, original story and provides a satisfying Western. To a large degree, this is due to the interaction and chemistry between the aforementioned actors. The friendship between Hickok and Cody works especially well, with Cody on the side of the raiders while Hickok is bound by his obligations to the military. In the end, they are able to prevent an escalation between the stubborn generals on both sides.

Calamity Jane is played by red-haired Judi Meredith who works as a supplier to the army, with her wagon. Meredith is quite attractive (I seem to write that for every CJ actress!), but the way Jane gets treated here, is probably the worst I have seen and would definitely be counted as sexist by today’s standards. Actually, it might seem like that by the standards of the day. It starts with a scene where three middle-aged men grab her “just for fun” and try to force her to the saloon to… have breakfast with them? Bill Cody has to help, and when he mentions that she is good friends with Hickok they finally relent. Later she is mocked by McElroy and his man, shortly before they burn her wagon. Nobody takes her seriously, an attitude no other Jane experiences: even Doris Day was able to make people respect her. It doesn’t reflect well on Jane, with lines like, “Yes, it’s easy for you to attack a weak and helpless woman!” Really, whoever wrote this had a problem with the idea of a strong woman and felt he had to undermine the character constantly.

Last but not least, Bill Cody tells her if she really wants to attract Bill Hickok’s attention (the man she claims to be attracted to, although nothing is made of it, since the film concentrates on the raiders and their conflict with the army), she should stop dressing like a man and wear a skirt. To make matters worse, he actually steals her whip. At least her last words in the movie are, “If he wants me, he has to love me the way I am!” I second that emotion, but the way Calamity Jane is treated in this movie is humiliating, and the worst in any movie so far. As just western entertainment, the movie is enjoyable; with respect to Calamity Jane, it’s no glorious chapter.

Seven Hours of Gunfire (1965)
★★
Director: Joaquin Luis Romero Marchent

This movie is confusing, a typical German-Italian-Spanish co-production of the mid-60s, and stylistically is best described as a below-average, third-class, German western of that time. Originally titled Aventuras del Oeste (Adventures of the West), in Germany it went under two different titles: The Last Bullet Hits the Best and more prominently as Buffalo Bill – His Greatest Adventure. The IMDb speaks of Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok, but they can’t be found in the German dub. Buffalo Bill here goes by Bill Hogan, called “the quick knife” by the Comanche, and is played under an alias (Clyde Rogers) by Rik van Nutter, better known as Felix Leiter in Thunderball. Wild Bill is named here Gunn Barrett, and played by Austrian actor Adrian Hoven. He had quite a run of German movies in the 50s and 60s, until he became a director focusing on horror and erotic movies. It’s strange to hear Wild Bill speak with an Austrian accent. But then I’m forgetting that Schwarzenegger would become an American action hero icon!

The story itself is hardly worth telling. Supplied by weapons trader Wilson, the Comanches attack what appears to be German settlers. To my surprise, some speak with a Saxony accent, one being referred to as Mr. May. This is a in-joke referencing German novelist Karl May who wrote many of the books local Westerns of the 60s were based on. Of course, the three heroes try to prevent the attack – mostly unsuccessfully, I must say – leading to the expected shoot-out in which Gunn Barrett gets killed. Constantly changing voice-overs don’t help, while even more confusing is that two different characters in the German version are spoken by the same dubbing artist, who also provided the German voice of Clint Eastwood. 

Calamity Jane is played here by Italian (!) actress Gloria Milland – obviously a nom de plume, one of several in the opening credits, right, Clyde? She is only in three scenes. In two, she shouts at Barrett because he is constantly drunk; in the last she supports him in the big shoot-out and holds Barrett when he gets killed. No big tragedy unfolds: she has nothing important to do here and doesn’t matter for the story at all. All in all, this western is a disappointment. It feels incredibly made-up on the spot, the story moves along without any momentum or suspense, and moments intended to be funny, feel kind of painful. It’s very average and forgettable, though I still find this more entertaining than the Bridges-Wild Bill movie.

The Plainsman (1966)
★★★
Dir: David Lowell Rich

Basically a remake of the 1936 Cecil B. DeMille movie of the same name, though it feels different – as you’d expect, the vibe of the 60s is very different. While filmed in beautiful colour, the whole affair looks somehow smaller. Where the original had an epic sweep, this feels like a compressed version of it. De Mille’s felt episodic, like a big mosaic, here you can feel the conscious effort to make it into one streamlined story. It more or less works, I’d say – at the same time, I don’t know if it makes the story better. There are some interesting changes: the tribe of native warriors is being incited by “Crazy Knife” (Henry Silva) while Black Kettle is trying to keep his people in line. General Custer (Leslie Nielsen) who featured prominently in the original, only appears at the end here to acquit both Buffalo Bill (Guy Stockwell) and Wild Bill Hickok (Don Murray) of the accusations of Lieutenant Stiles (Bradford Dillman), who would love to see a clash with the natives escalate.

Calamity is played by Abby Dalton. She is blond, naturally good-looking and wears eyeliner like Judi Meredith. Yes, she is in love with Buffalo Bill, but doesn’t appear as childish as Jean Arthur, though is overly emotional and occasionally inappropriately weepy. Bill still wipes her kisses off, but the near-hatred Gary Cooper displayed has been replaced with something more like indignation. Most of the time, the two work well together. The scene from the original where Jane puts on a skirt is here, but it is the first time in these films she speaks of her past: “I was born in a saloon and I had to take care of myself from age 10.”

We know that at least the latter was true for the real Calamity. She has ideas about men’s reactions to and behavior with women, which made me smile a bit because there is some truth to it. Also, this movie suggests a happy ending for her, as she is sitting together with her man on the same carriage box at the end. Interestingly, in the German dub she was voiced by the same actress who dubbed her in the two movies directly above, a prominent voice actor at the time, who voiced Marilyn Monroe, Brigitte Bardot, Diana Rigg and Honor Blackman.

In a way, an era ends here, because the classic American Western was slowly dying. The character of Calamity Jane would disappear from movies and series, as far as I know, for almost 20 years, before she would eventually re-appear in movies that tried to portray her in a more realistic way.

Calamity Jane (1984)
★★★★½
Director: James Goldstone

This TV movie has Jane Alexander, who also co-produced the film, in the main role. While it again has the likely fictional love story between Calamity and Hickok (Frederick Forrest), it is a much more realistic portrayal of Jane, as well as her relationship, then we have seen before. Calamity is saved by Hickok, they begin an affair after she has nursed him and are married by two drunk priests in the desert. They separate as Hickok doesn’t want Calamity “drawn along with him”  when going to work in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show. She bears his child which is adopted by a British couple, the O’Neills (David Hemmings plays Colonel O’Neill). She hears that Hickok has married, but he is shot before she can speak to him, although his murder is barely a sideline here. Later she meets her daughter again, though does not reveal her relationship. 

I was most impressed by Alexander’s Calamity Jane. She is absolutely convincing, playing her as a grown-up woman, far from the girlish portrayals we have seen before. She is attractive, but not “sexy” in the usual sense and also not fetishized as has often happened in the past. Yes, she is very much in love with Hickok, but has insecurities concerning her attractiveness (a theme also dealt with in Buffalo Girls) when she dresses up as what Hickok calls a “made-up harlot”, to convince him that she is feminine, too. She shouldn’t have bothered: Jane Alexander is absolutely believable as a tough woman who dresses as a man for man’s work, such as driving a coach. She has the “tomboy thing” figured out, but it never feels like a stunt, and she is always believable as a female character who must stand on her own since no one provides for her. I especially love Alexander’s slightly husky voice, which at times reminded me of Jodie Foster’s, only louder and less melodic. Calamity goes through the emotional wringer but given she experiences losing her half-legal husband and daughter, this is more than understandable.

Not too many people might know this one: it seems only to be available in Poland and Australia on DVD. Yet it is a good drama, almost a precursor to Buffalo Girls, though better in my opinion. And while neither young nor what you would typically call sexy, Alexander’s Calamity Jane might be the most realistic portrayal I’ve seen of the character, and also does not overdo the negatives. Indeed, there is a good chance I might call her Calamity Jane my personal favourite.

Tall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventures of Pecos Bill (1994)
★★★
Dir: Jeremiah Chechik

According to Wikipedia, a tall tale is “a story with unbelievable elements, related as if it were true and factual.” It is a literary genre I don’t think exists the same way in Europe – except maybe the famous tales of Baron Munchausen. This Disney production is the story of Daniel (Nick Stahl, years away from teen John Connor) who works hard on the farm of his father (Stephen Lang, years away from grizzled old Avatar villain Quaritch) in 1905. The farmers face evil industrialist J. P. Stiles (Scott Glenn, years away from Daredevil‘s mentor Stick) who wants their land. The two main perspectives – living off your own hard work or selling out to big industry – are opposed, and when Daniel’s father is shot by Stiles’ men, Daniel escapes. He falls asleep in a boat and meets tall tale heroes Pecos Bill (Patrick Swayze), Paul Bunyan (Oliver Platt) and John Henry (Roger Aaron Brown). Reality and fiction get tangled while Daniel is on the run.

This is the kind of adventure movie for the whole family Disney liked to produce during the 90s. In retrospect these were so much more enjoyable than those the studio produces today, because they felt more natural. As a family adventure film I can wholeheartedly recommend it. There is beautiful production design, a gorgeous colour palette and the epic music of Randy Edelman. However for Calamity Jane fans this is only of peripheral interest. Jane (played by Catherine O’Hara – Kevin’s mum from Home Alone!) is barely in the movie. She enters a saloon brawl and is very upset at Pecos Bill who obviously left her some time ago. She expresses her anger with adequate shooting skills, but vanishes as quickly from the movie as she has appeared in it.

Buffalo Girls (1995)
★★★
Dir: Rod Hardy

[Jim’s review is available here] Based on the book of the same name by Larry McMurtry, this epic two-part TV series was showered with Prime Time Emmy and Golden Globe Award nominations and boasts a remarkable cast of stars: Anjelica Huston as Calamity Jane, Sam Elliott as Wild Bill Hickok, Melanie Griffith, Gabriel Byrne, Peter Coyote as Buffalo Bill, Jack Palance, Floyd Red Crow Westerman (who made a real career out of his role in Dances with Wolves) and Liev Schreiber. The film portrays the last days of the “Wild West” but does so in a charming way; while it’s a drama, it never feels overly dramatic or tragic. I personally would call it “light drama”. We get full, natural colours and not everything looks dark, grey or nightmarish as many films do today, when the director wants it to look “realistic”. 

Anjelica Huston looks a good deal younger than her age of 44 at the time. I do have a problem with her Calamity: she is just too cute and nice. Yes, the male western garb is here – obviously to protect her, because once she puts on a dress, everyone wants to dance with her. At one point she is allowed to use her signature whip. But she never escapes her natural femininity, which counteracts the aim of portraying the ultimate tomboy. Huston plays Jane like a schoolgirl in the body of a grown-up woman, who has a crush on the coolest boy on school, Wild Bill. It leads to a baby, Calamity’s daughter that she gives up for adoption. A large subplot is the relationship of Calamity’s best friend, the prostitute Dora (Griffith) and her boy friend Ted Blue (Byrne). Jane later goes with Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Circus to England, because she wants to see her daughter again, and there is a shooting bet with Annie Oakley.

This is an average story, one that wouldn’t have needed to be told in form of a Western. While Elliott is always great, he’s still miles away from the cynical and world-weary trail leader he recently played in 1883. You could have told the same story as a modern-day drama and, except for the battle between Custer and the native warriors, all you would have to change are the clothes. That’s somehow disappointing. I would like to see a Calamity who curses, fights, uses her whip and guns frequently – though she does shoot down a chandelier in a British pub – and gets involved in adventures. I guess what I want is some kind of female Indiana Jones, and that’s not the case here.

We get to see the life that she might have led in reality, according to the sparse details we know about her life. While nice, and admirable, it’s not really exciting. There are no real action scenes in the story, and the whole thing feels like a toned-down drama. It may sound very much as if I’m rejecting this mini series: I don’t. I do like it – it’s just not what I expect to see when someone says “Calamity Jane”. But of the two realistic Westerns in 1995 which involved her this is definitely, and by far, the better and the one I recommend. You do get a full 2½ hours with Calamity Jane as the main protagonist. There are not many movies about which you can say that.

Wild Bill (1995)
★★
Dir: Walter Hill

I don’t like this movie at all, and I think 2 stars is very generous. It has nothing to do with the fact there are a number of Walter Hill films I don’t like, or that Calamity Jane is hardly in the movie. I simply think this movie is not well-told, and is boring. It doesn’t work for me either as a Western, a biopic or a good movie in general. It’s not the fault of the movie stars who are all well-known for their competence. I mean, we have Jeff Bridges as Wild Bill Hickok, plus Ellen Barkin, Diane Lane, John Hurt, Keith Carradine, Bruce Dern, David Arquette and Christina Applegate. I also found the production design very fitting. So, who is responsible for the mess?

My vote goes to Hill, who wrote it as an adaptation of a book and a theatre play. Either the literary template was not very good or Hill wasn’t able to filter a good cinematic yarn out of it. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. The story of the Wild West legend is told with Hickok originally working as a U.S. Marshall, but getting involved in more and more violent conflicts. His life takes a slow down-turn, so much so that everyone in the room fears they might be the next one he kills. This tragedy includes sickness, an opium habit and a destroyed relationship.

Calamity Jane is played by Ellen Barkin, but has only a minor role in the film. It’s sad, thinking of what could have been with an actress like Barkin who once mesmerized in Sea of Love. Her character here seems to be mainly turned on by Wild Bill, and they indeed have sex on the poker table in the saloon – but she is not the woman he loves. Jane has the traditional outfit but as is becoming a trend, I expect more from my Calamity Janes. There might be people who look at this movie as some kind of failed masterpiece, or maybe a forerunner for Deadwood . But, honestly, I don’t recommend this movie. It’s boring, overlong and perforated with flashbacks. Simply, not good story-telling.

The Legend of Calamity Jane (1997)
★★★½
Producing studios: Canal+ and the WB

I already wrote a review on this Canadian animation show. It is just 13 episodes long and depicts Jane as a true-blue hero who serves justice in the old West, accompanied by sidekick Joe Presto, and her horse Dakota. The show was definitely written for a teen audience but can be enjoyed by grown-ups, too. It’s a lot of fun, features some nice action scenes for a 90s animated series and has enough diverse plots to not get boring. I certainly enjoyed it quite a bit.

Lucky Luke (2009)

Dir: James Huth

Lucky Luke is a famous Belgian comic book series by artist Morris (born as Maurice de Bevere, 1923-2001), partly co-written by Réné Goscinny (1926 – 1977), who is best known for his work on the Asterix comics. Luke began in 1946 and is among the most beloved comics in Europe. It’s therefore unsurprising that people have tried to adapt the comics into live-action movies, as well as some animated series . This was not the first – there were a couple of films with Terence Hill as Lucky in the early 90s, and a later one with German actor Til Schweiger – but hopefully, may be the last.

The comics are indeed very, very funny – or were, when Morris was drawing and Goscinny writing, I don’t know how they are today. But it seems difficult to transfer this kind of oddball humour, coupled with slapstick and situation comedy, into live-action. The attempts so far have been absolutely terrible, and shouldn’t have been that bad. But it would need a certain understanding of how the humour in the comics works. While the animated versions more or less work, the live-action creators seem to have no feeling for subtlety, nuance or basic understanding of what the humor is. If you want an example of how it’s done right, I refer you to Spielberg’s adaptation of TinTin.

Anyway, what does Calamity Jane have to do with this? Well, Lucky Luke (Jean Dujardin from The Artist) is a lonesome cowboy, very far from home, who is usually called to help solve difficult tasks or bring criminals back to prison: in most cases, this means the Dalton brothers. But he also meets famous people of his time, such as Mark Twain, Sarah Bernhardt and Jack London, as well as the many desperadoes and gunslingers of the old West. He has met Calamity Jane at least three times in the comics by now: the version there is a inelegant redhead who curses a lot, shoots quickly but has a heart of gold. It only seemed logical she would appear in a movie, especially considering the comic universe is short of interesting women, with the whole “lonesome cowboy” thing.

I once owned a collection of over 50 Lucky Luke comic books, but as far as I can judge, the story has no similarity to any I read.  Calamity Jane pops up in the middle of the story, out of nowhere and except for demonstrating incredible strength (she has some muscular arms) and her overdone behaviour, contributes little to an otherwise forgettable film. She is played by Sylvie Testud, I think making her the first French actress to depict Jane. But there is little more to say. Avoid the movie and read some Lucky Luke comics instead – preferably the first one with Calamity. I believe an animated version of it can be found online, and will be discussed later. 

Calamity Jane’s Revenge (2015)
★★
Dir: Henrique Couto

A review by Jim can be found here – and might be longer than mine. I wholeheartedly agree with his 2-star rating. This is a low-budget production. Very low budget. Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not one of those who believe “bigger is always better”. Very often, it’s the opposite; in big-budget productions, the first thing that suffers is usually the coherence of the script. But I do need to be able to buy into the fantasy, and this just doesn’t have the resources needed to give me a basis for suspending my disbelief. The actors speak their lines clearly and for not being professionals do well enough and don’t trip over their words. Some are better than others but no one has to be ashamed of what they did. That said, I never really believed Erin R. Ryan, to be the legendary female scout. She looks like your average contemporary American cowgirl and neither her acting nor behaviour made me associate her with Calamity Jane. 

The costume and prop departments don’t help, putting her in modern jeans and giving her weapons that look as new and fake as they come. Obviously, no one is surprised here to see a woman in trousers and everyone also seems to recognize Jane at first glance, without much excitement. Compare it with her entire film history and you realize there is a problem. In addition, the entire thing does not look very “western-y” to me, and seems to have been filmed in a park or a wood with plenty of lawn. It could have been filmed in front of my house, and it takes plenty of suspension of disbelief for me to make this work. There were some nice aerial shots I did like, and a score that consists of guitar with some occasional flute.

The whole story is simple: Wild Bill has been shot and Jane is out for revenge on those responsible. She meets plenty of evil men in the woods that she kills – indeed, this Jane has quite a body count – frees a religious woman and gets her horse stolen by a quack. Although most of the time she is just wandering through the woods, with not much riding here. Maybe the rent for the horse was too high for the entire shoot? There are cameos of Wild Bill (Joe Kidd) in her dreams; think of Sarah Connor dreaming of dead Kyle Reese in T2, telling her she doesn’t need to continue her quest, though she does anyway.

I don’t like to downvote this movie, because it was done with good intentions and that is more than some typical Hollywood blockbusters can claim. You get scenes you won’t see anywhere else, e. g. Jane lying in the grass between the flowers, telling her horse her life story. That said, the film’s big problem is the lack of satisfying production values, and it lacks momentum, suspense and climaxes. Look for the 2024 movie to see how it can be done better. Its budget might have been just a little higher than this; at least it could provide horses, a coach and a western town. All told, this is a barely sufficient yet also very, very average and unexciting production, resulting in a finally unsatisfying film. It falls below the level I expect in order to be entertained.

Calamity, a Childhood of Martha Jane Cannary (2020)
★★★★
Dir: Rémi Chayé

The story for this animated film is an interesting one: In 1863, the Cannary family –  the father, his daughter Martha Jane (voiced by Salomé Boulven) and two smaller children – are part of a convoy to Oregon. Martha gets into a feud with young boy Ethan, but when one of the wheels of their cart breaks, and her father is hurt by a horse, Ethan has to take over driving. Humiliated by this, she tries to learn things outside what young girls are not supposed to know – throwing lassos, horse-riding and driving the cart. When the settlers meet a soldier named Samson, they realize they have gone the wrong way. She befriends the soldier, until he vanishes with some items stolen from the settlers. Martha leaves to retrieve the items and find the truth about Samson, which is the beginning of an exciting and dangerous adventure.

I saw it in French with Spanish subs, so hopefully have not missed any nuances. It seems to have been financed by a number of small companies and TV channels, and appears to be a French-Danish co-production. I liked it a lot, and it could easily be called Calamity – the early years. The story finds good, logical explanations why the girl turns out to be Calamity Jane. There are reasons why she wants to be able to ride and drive a cart, or why she cuts her hair and makes herself trousers. And it also points out that such behaviour was not only rare, but seen as highly inappropriate for women at that time. Martha Jane is not without flaws, her stubborn temperament repeatedly puts herself and others in situations that are dangerous. For example, while fighting with young thief Jonas, it nearly leads to them falling over a cliff, and kills one of the horses. In another situation, while trying to get a sample in a cave for Madame Moustache (who was a real person), she first loses the rope that holds her, than her light. Luckily, she is able to find her way back.

This movie also plays with the cross-dressing aspect that very often comes into play with the character. First, she looks more like a boy, with trousers and short cut hair, and those who meet her think she is one. Then she has to dress as a girl to get into the camp of a general who is not on good terms with her, and finally she dresses up as a soldier to avoid being discovered. The look on Jonas face at the end when she gives him a kiss, is hilarious! Overall, this is an enjoyable movie that can be watched by boys and girls. But as a grown-up I felt that the time and living conditions of settlers in that era were captured in a very realistic, believable fashion. Not everyone was nice to you in the Old West. Well… actually, no one was. Jane has to learn and by doing so, she gets the recognition of the people around her. That’s good advice for anyone. The movie also has a very fitting western score by Florencia di Concilio. 

I have issues with the visual presentation. It has rightfully been praised, winning the Cristal Award for a feature at the Annecy International Animation Film Festival, and a lot of work clearly went into this. Yet I found the characters rather simplistic. It’s definitely not comparable to Studio Ghibli, or a Disney movie when they were still doing 2-cel animation. It leaves objects and characters lacking a defining outline, meaning the characters are only separated from their environment by a different colour. It might be a stylistic decision but left me with a feeling the animation was “unfinished”. It’s just a matter of taste. Despite being a new original take on the Calamity Jane character, the movie’s distribution doesn’t seem widespread. While it had regular screenings in France, the Benelux countries, Denmark, Japan, Spain and Portugal, to my knowledge it had no cinematic release in Germany, Britain or the US – a pity because the film is really good.

Calamity Jane (2024)
★★★★
Dir: Terry Miles

A review of this movie by Jim is available here. Made for the streaming TV service Tubi, this low-budgeted western won’t win any awards – yet I nevertheless gave it 4 stars. Why? Simple, it really surprised me how entertaining it was. I absolutely didn’t expect it, but what I’ve always thought was proven again. Smaller productions can satisfy me so much more than a over-budgeted, Hollywood, wannabe blockbuster simply by using their production value efficiently, and telling their stories in a well-considered manner. It leads to a very pleasing viewing experience – at least for me. None of the actors are really well-known. The most famous might be Emily Bett Rickards who plays – a nice change – a redhaired Calamity Jane, and Stephen Amell who gets just a couple of scenes as Wild Bill (before he gets shot as usual). Both can be seen in CW show Green Arrow, but I don’t think that will entice anyone to watch this western here.

The story of this obviously Canadian production (all the main actors seem to be from there) can be quickly told. Despite having saved Deputy Sheriff Mason (Tim Rozon) Calamity is imprisoned. When her other half Wild Bill is shot by Jack McCall (who according to historical records did kill Hickok) and the cell inmates break out, Calamity goes after McCall to take revenge. She is pursued by Mason who also believes she killed Sheriff Griggs. Jane is being helped by an undertaker, not knowing she is headed directly towards the whole McCall family. Of course, the story is as fictional as any of the other ones – but it works.

Rickards is an interesting choice for our heroine. She is so small and slim-built that, when dressed in the usual western garb, if it wasn’t for that long, red mane of hair, she could easily appear androgynish – at least from a distance. She plays Jane as an intelligent, no-nonsense and courageous Western protagonist, who obviously has something on her conscience. I found her absolutely believable. Also, the character is never fetishized like many other Janes, nor stigmatized for wearing men’s clothes. It seems natural for her – but then, today no-one would see anything strange in that. It was different in the 1950s and 60s, when a woman could cause serious problems by questioning the status quo, simply due to her choice of clothes.

Therefore it shouldn’t surprise you that this also gives us a female bartender, breaking the unwritten rule that bartenders in Westerns had to be male, and a McCall sister who is a sadistic killer, very well-played by Priscilla Faia. I liked this cast and the story but perhaps most importantly, this is the first film with Calamity Jane that gives her some action scenes. This was usually left to the men, with the exception of the animated Legend of Calamity Jane. All in all, this is solid entertainment. The movie’s budget can’t have been very high but the actors are competent, the production design acceptable, the costumes appropriate and the direction and technical side feels alright. A chair doesn’t have to be made of ebony, the important thing is, you can sit on it. 

TV episodes and series

While never given her own TV show, with the exception of the animated series mentioned above, Calamity Jane played a role in a number of TV Westerns. While the most well-known is Deadwood, she was also featured in episodes of other TV shows. Here is what I think about them:

Colt .45: Calamity (1959; season 3, episode 10)
★★★

Titular hero Christopher Colt (Wayde Preston) accompanies a stagecoach to Deadwood, providing medical aid to manage a smallpox epidemic. With him are passengers Jud Bowlus whose daughter lives there, and doctor Ellen McGraw. After an Indian attack they need a new coachman and Calamity offers her services. Colt isn’t willing to employ her at first, but when she whips off his hat, it’s obviously enough to convince him. At the next post, they must take cover, as the Indians have killed the station manager and will attack again. They are joined by some “prospectors”, who turn out to be robbers after the vaccine, so they could sell it to the citizens of Deadwood. Having had their weapons taken away, Calamity has to distract them with her whip, allowing Colt to beat up the hoodlums. They arrive safely in Deadwood City and everyone has cake. Okay, I made up the cake part!

An absolutely acceptable TV episode, which feels meant to be a miniature version of John Ford’s famous Stagecoach (1939), starring John Wayne – only with D-television budget. But that’s okay. Calamity is played by Dody Heath and I had some early issues with her. First, this actress is quite petite which makes her look less  convincing. While the size issue might apply to other actresses here, it’s especially obvious when she stands next to the larger Preston. Also, in her first appearance, she seems more insolent brat than tough tomboy. Her acting does improve over the 25-minute episode, and she was acceptable for me by the end.

But, once again, the screenwriters couldn’t help themselves: In her second scene she asks Colt if he is married, and when Bowlus asks what is wrong with her, she wonders whether it would help if she wore a skirt and knew how to cook. Obviously, we went from first meeting to the “our relationship” talk in a heartbeat. But there is an interesting reversal at the end. It’s Ellen who shoots one of the last thieves, and Calamity decides she wants to stay in Deadwood and help Ellen take care of the infected. While these women are very different, they are able to learn from each other. I find this a more interesting ending than the usual “Calamity has to become a real lady” trope.

Bonanza: Calamity over the Comstock (1963; episode 141) 
★★★

Little Joe is way over his head when circumstances force him to take care of young Calamity Jane. She falls in love with him and wants him to take her to a ball. Unfortunately, Calamity’s former friend, Doc Holliday, is in town too, and is mighty jealous. Like the series in general, this is harmless, enjoyable fluff. Stefanie Powers (years before starring in Hart to Hart with Robert Wagner) plays Jane’s tomboyishness with tangible joy. When she appears with a dirty, smeared face, cursing the horses, she is very convincing. The not very believable running gag, is that all the men here are unable to see she is a girl, because… men’s clothes, daa!! And of course, she will wear a beautiful ballgown as that is obviously what all tomboys really want! It’s a nice little episode. I just wonder what made Doc Holliday hook up with her, since in reality the two never met.

Death Valley Days: A Calamity called Jane (1966; season 1, episode 13)
★★★

Introduced by Western movie star Robert Taylor, this “true story of the West” tells how Calamity Jane joins the Wild West show of… Wild Bill Hickok? I can only presume the screenwriter got Wild Bill and Buffalo Bill mixed up. It’s not a positive outlook on their relationship, Wild Bill taking strong issue with Jane’s behavior and shouting. He also tells her if she is a woman she should dress like one, or she will never appeal to a man. Her straight answer is, she always has hated men. When she tells their mutual friend Charlie about Bill’s complaints, he decides sharply that she must have fallen in love with Bill. 

Yeah, sure. That’s the only reason a woman would ever get angry when a man criticizes her outlook and personality (sarcasm off). So, she does what Calamity Janes usually do: puts on a dress. Unfortunately, Charlie and Bill aren’t in favor of that either, because the people in their show want to see Calamity Jane, not some normal woman in a skirt. This poor Calamity, already unsure of her female attire (and probably, her identity) suffers a second humiliation, storming out of the bar while Wild Bill joins a poker game. We all know how it will end: this Calamity Jane will get her heart broken a third time in this 25-minute episode.

I think my feelings about this story and its terrible attitudes from the Stone Age should be clear from the above. That said, the actress Fay Spain definitely looks less cute than the usual Janes, and does a good job. This Jane is loud, gets drunk and shows off, but hides a more vulnerable side and even sheds tears. It may be the only time I’ve seen a Jane weep, unless Doris Day did? This makes it watchable. But honestly: this Jane is better off without both Wild Bill and “good friend” Charlie too. 

Lucky Luke: Calamity Jane (1983)
★★★

Lucky Luke went from comic to animated series in 1983: other animated shows would follow. This one was more or less a 1:1 adaptation of the comic books, the story following the Calamity Jane story in the comic. Lucky Luke, the cowboy who draws quicker than his shadow, meets Calamity Jane. In El Plomo, she wins an arm-wrestling match against the gorilla-like Baby Sam and therefore the saloon where she wants to become an honest member of society. This is much to the chagrin of the previous owner August Oyster. He has hidden stolen army rifles under the cellar, which he is selling to the Apache tribe, and also expects a new delivery of weapons and whiskey for them.

This episode is definitely fun, with a running gag about uneatable cookies that Calamity bakes, and a coach (resembling Hollywood star David Niven) hired to train Calamity to behave like a lady. I would recommend the comic book, for the simple reason that the 25-minute limit of these episodes requires cuts to the comic story. Also, the comic is much funnier, although Jane is amusing here. She is quick to shoot, and a bit of a show-off, but a good friend with a heart of gold. This might be why she would pop up in later comic books of the series. She and Luke simply make very good pals. 

Deadwood (2004-06, additional TV movie 2019)
★★★
Producer: David Milch

Having seen only season one of the three, I can judge just it. This highly praised HBO show recounts the beginnings of notorious Wild West city Deadwood, before the territory came under the guidance of the government in Washington, and how “problems” were solved there before there was official law. Calamity Jane is clearly not a main character, though has a not unimportant supporting role. The show mainly focuses on saloon and bordello owner Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), a character who really lived and – at least in the show – was responsible for many crimes, murders and shady dealings in that city. There’s also Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) who became the first sheriff there.

Played by Robin Weigert, this may be the most realistic, yet most depressing version of Jane. She is constantly drunk, swears a lot, is dirty, hangs on the coattails of Wild Bill Hickok (Keith Carradine). But she is just his friend, and no more, going against the traditional idea she and Bill were a couple. She seems full of fear, though at least in the first season, it is never stated what haunts her. The feeling is that Jane harbours scars from her past – maybe her upbringing? She says herself she is no good at all, and shocked by Wild Bill’s murder. But Jane helps as a nurse when a smallpox epidemic breaks out in Deadwood.

This is definitely not the great heroine which earlier films portrayed. Far from pretty, this is not someone you’d want to go out with. Maybe that’s why the film makers gave her a lesbian relationship with Joannie Stubbs (Kim Dickens) later on? Overall, the show is recommendable, serving as a more realistic and gritty portrayal of the Old West. but my feeling was that the first 12-episode season lost steam, and ran out of ideas that could sustain it in the second half. Of course, seasons two + three, plus the made-for-TV movie, may offer more highlights. But that will be up to you to find out, if you are interested!

Documentary

Calamity Jane: Wild West Legend (2014)
★★★★★
Dir: Gregory Monro

This 80-minute French documentary from 2014 ran on the Franco-German culture channel ARTE, a channel well-known for quality docs. I recommend this one, though there may be others from the US I don’t know about, which are just as good. Old photographs, footage from old Westerns, newly directed scenes and interviews with historians and biographers of the old West (among them Richard Etulain, see below), form a vivid, realistic picture of the conditions in that era and life at that time.

Certain things were constants in Jane’s life. She was almost always on the move. Due to her lack of education, which may explain her lack of manners, she took any job she could get. She was a laundry washer, nurse, prostitute, scout and babysitter, worked for the army and later sold her biography as a pamphlet. Though the big money was made off her, by dime novel writers and journalists. When Jane had money she spent it on alcohol. Her constant drunkenness could have been a factor in why she was unable to have a lasting relationship. She clearly tried, becoming pregnant from one of at least two known marriages. But her husband was physically abusive, and it didn’t last. While her daughter was with Jane at least into her teenage years, her mother saw she was taken into a better home. Jane was definitely restless: her behavior and alcoholism may have helped lead to her early death, at an age of around 47.

One amusing tidbit. The love story almost everyone believes, between her and Wild Bill, is likely nothing but fiction. According to sources, she did know Wild Bill for a few weeks. But he was not really fond of Jane, because she was constantly begging him to share from his private barrel of whiskey. I guess a romantic, idealized love story sells better than the truth of a constantly drunk, homeless female hobo.

Biographies

There are many biographies of Martha Jane Cannary on the market. I have the feeling most aren’t too good: few facts about her life are known, while there are a lot of stories made up about her. But one I think is useful is Richard W. Etulain’s The Life and Legends of Calamity Jane. Etulain is a professor of history and was director of the Center for the American West at the University of New Mexico. But more importantly he writes about the old West and the personalities of its time. The book seems to be well-researched. Etulain separates fact from fiction where possible and also goes deeply into the popular perception and the cultural reinvention of Mrs. Cannary, and how our perspective of her has repeatedly changed over time, depending on the cultural zeitgeist. The book also contains some photos of her, I recommend this for those interested, though it is quite expensive.

There is another small book, titled The letters of Calamity Jane to her daughter. The origin of its content is dubious, and no one can verify if the letters are indeed from Martha Jane Canary or someone else. In them, the author writes to her daughter about how she grew up and lived, about her different jobs, etc. According to some, Calamity Jane couldn’t read and write but this is addressed in one letter and said to be a lie. The letters were reportedly found in a box of her daughter’s. I don’t know: it’s very convenient, isn’t it? But having read it, my impression is that whoever wrote it knew the living conditions in the old West very well, in addition to many facts about Mrs. Canary’s life. If it is not from her, it’s convincingly written. Though I admit, the idea of a daughter receiving letters from her wild-living mother is a wonderful idea to draw in potentially interested female readers.

Books and comics

Calamity became a famous character in print, when she was made a supporting character in the Deadwood Dick dime novels of the 1870s. Since she first captured the attention of an audience there, a slew of books featuring her have come out, ranging from a realistic portrayal to utter fantasy. The classic quality novel might be Larry McMurtry’s Buffalo Girls, whose movie adaptation was covered earlier. 

If your desire for quality reading is not as high, the books of J. T. Edson can be considered. Edson was a British dog trainer for the army, who fell in love with Westerns and became a writer, churning out an enormous number of books from the 1950’s through until the early 2000s, most of them in that genre. He had many different heroes, one of whom was Calamity Jane, writing 13 books with her as the main character.  

According to his readers, he was very entertaining in his early books but Edson’s later work lost his spark. Of course, he invented his own Wild West scenarios, so one shouldn’t expect realistic depictions – less than you would expect from a John Wayne movie. The author himself admitted that he never sat on a horse in his life. Today, his books can mostly be found second-hand or in old book shops. However, a couple of years ago, some of his Calamity Jane books were re-published under new titles. Some are now also available as e-books.

Not surprisingly, she has also appeared in comics and graphic novels. For some reason unknown to me, the French especially seem to love her in comic book form, as I am aware of at least 5 different books with her from there. It’s possible the Lucky Luke stories by Morris may have generated interest in her in Europe. For many, including myself, it was their first contact with the character.

Conclusion

So, we come to the end of this little overview on Calamity Jane-related Westerns. I learned a lot over the course of it. For example, the majority of film-makers can’t resist inventing a love story between her and Wild Bill, or dressing her up in a skirt, at least for a couple of scenes. Obviously, the latter is to calm audiences and let them know she would be a good housewife if circumstances only would let her. For, you see, she wears male attire only because she has to work in a man’s world, and has no husband yet. Or that for whatever reason, she has been played by an astonishing number of blonde actresses, despite the real Calamity being a brunette. Or that those who play her on the screen have typically been young, very attractive and even sexy while the real person… Well, if you see any photos of the original, such as the one here, you might spot a difference or two!

This odyssey through film via Calamity, also helps to appreciate the changing attitudes to “girls with guns” over a period of more than a century. In that time, she has transformed from the damsel in distress who is treated with some kind of contempt by Gary Cooper, to an independent woman who takes revenge for her murdered lover. The character has gone through quite a remarkable evolution over the years, reflecting the changes in society during that time, and it’s something which should be appreciated.

I wonder: will we see Calamity Jane again? And if so, where might it be, and in what form will she appear?

Only time will tell…

[Below is a YouTube playlist of various trailers and clips from some of the films discussed here]

Lethal Ballerinas

While Ballerina might be the most recent and largest scale example of the trend, Ana de Armas is not the first killer to don a tutu in her off hours. The ballet-dancer killer trope has been a popular one, perhaps because of the contrast it allows between artistic grace and brutal violence. Perhaps the earliest example I could find was from the seventies, where female star of The New Avengers, Purdey (played by Joanna Lumley) was a former member of the Royal Ballet. Admittedly, there aren’t many examples where the dance skills are especially relevant to the plot; they’re typically just a ironically elegant backdrop, against which the action can play out. 

For whatever reason, missing parents are another common factor here. It may be that this helps allows for another area of comparison: the physically demanding training to become a prima ballerina, mirrors that needed to become a top-tier assassin. Neither are exactly compatible with what you would normally call good parenting. Easiest to make your protagonist an orphan, and bypass any awkward questions in this area! But below, you will find reviews of several notable entries in the sub-genre; or, possibly, more accurately, the sub-sub-genre.

I did decide to exclude a couple of recent examples. While certainly falling into the category of “lethal,” I’m not entirely convinced that the tutu-toting Abigail would quite be able to hold her own in a pas de deux. What seems like an obvious candidate is the Korean movie, also titled Ballerina. Except, the name there refers not to the protagonist, but her friend who commits suicide. Finally, we could perhaps have included Red Sparrow, whose heroine is ballerina Dominika Egorova. However, her career is quickly ended by injury, and she’s forced to find a different career in espionage, putting her shoes away. Worth noting though, Jennifer Lawrence did have to learn ballet for the movie. 


Ballerina (2025)

★★★★½
“If the ballet slipper fits…”

When I reviewed Furiosa, I discussed how action heroine films have been having a tough time at the box-office since before COVID-19. Add another data point to that decline, with the underwhelming performance of Ballerina. Or, to give it its clunky and excessive full title (for the first and only time), From the World of John Wick: Ballerina. Which – much like Furiosa – is a real shame, because it’s top-tier stuff. The critics liked it (76% on Rotten Tomatoes) and those who saw it, liked it too (93% audience score there). But it just did not seem to connect in a large-scale way with the cinema-going public, and will struggle to cover its $90 million budget, not excessive by today’s standards. 

Admittedly, it was a rather troubled production. Filming began all the way back in November 2022, and it was in post-production the following February. But a year later, word came out that additional shooting under John Wick director Chad Stahelski was taking place. There’s uncertainty how significant those were. Suggestions that much of the film was redone have been denied by both Stahelski and Wiseman, who said they were actually due to the studio providing them with additional resources. This allowed them to add scenes, such as the opening depicting the death of the heroine’s father. But regardless, the extra work was certainly a factor in the film being pushed back a full twelve months from its original release date of June 2024.

To be honest though, I really couldn’t tell based on the end product. I have read a lot of criticism suggesting, in brief, “Nobody asked for this.” While that’s dumb – nobody asked for John Wick either – there is an element of truth in it. If they wanted a spin-off, they might have been better using Sofia Al-Azwar, the existing character played by Halle Berry, who was key to one of the best scenes in John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum. It’s worth noting, the script by Shay Hatten, written back in 2017, was not originally part of the Wick universe (although Hatten was inspired by the trailer for John Wick 2), and subsequently got tooled into it. But I wonder, how often are spin-off movies ever successful? Ok, except the Minions franchise. 

It’s not the first effort to expand the Wick-iverse which has fallen short either. In 2023, they made a TV mini-series The Continental, which… Um, well… We watched the first episode? You’re certainly left to wonder what might happen about the other spin-off film, focused on Caine, the blind swordman played by Donnie Yen in John Wick 4. We love Yen, and have since the days of In the Line of Duty IV, over 35 years ago. But he has a much lower profile in the West than Ana de Armas, and the appetite for films “from the world of John Wick” which do not have Wick front and center, certainly appears to be muted. Enough about such coarse, commercial considerations. How is Ballerina as a movie?

In this world, there are two specific tribes of assassins. The Ruska Roma, who are structured and orderly, and another group, known as the Cult, who are anarchic and savage. Lawful Neutral and Chaotic Evil, for those who know their D&D alignments. The two groups don’t get along, but generally tolerate each other, basically agreeing to go their separate ways and not interfere, under the current leadership of the Director (Huston) and the Chancellor (Byrne) respectively. A decade or so ago, there was Romeo and Juliet-style romance across the divided houses, resulting in the birth of Eve. When her parents tries to leave their factions, both are killed, her father dying in front of her after being killed by the Cult. She is then brought up in the Ruska Roma.

Eve (de Armas) is trained both as an assassin and a ballerina, although the latter is never of any real significance. On one of her missions, she encounters a Cult member and realizes they are responsible for killing her father. Against the express wishes of the Director, she goes in search of them, finding their headquarters in the remote (and very lovely) Austrian town of Hallstatt, and chewing her way through the Cult towards the Chancellor. But when the Director hears about Eve’s quest for vengeance, posing a threat to the uneasy truce between the Ruska Roma and the Cult, she sends a certain J. Wick (Reeves) after her, to restore the balance and keep the peace. 

It’s borderline awesome, and on occasion, there’s no “borderline” about it. Let’s just say, I will now be looking into acquiring a flamethrower for home defense. Ok, I should explain. There’s a scene where Eve and one of the Cult members have a – bold font, capital letters, please – DUEL WITH FLAMETHROWERS. It’s every bit as epic and wonderful as that sounds, and it escapes me how they could possibly have achieved it, without reducing the entire stunt team to charcoal briquettes. That’s just the action highlight in a film which has a number of them. I was also impressed with the nightclub sequence – is this obligatory for every film in the Wick-iverse? – of Eve’s first mission, as much for the thumping techno tunes, as for the high-quality fisticuffs. 

I do say, some elements feel under-developed, and I wonder if they were a result of the adjustments made during production. The character of Daniel Pine (Norman Reedus), seems particularly an afterthought, not least the fact he’s supposed to be the Chancellor’s son. Adding John Wick in does feel like an unnecessary afterthought and, to be honest, smells a little of desperation. It’s just not necessary, because de Armas is capable of carrying things. This is likely, not just to be the best action heroine film of the year, it’s quite possibly – admittedly, I haven’t seen the last Mission Impossible film yet – going to end up as the best action film of 2025. Such a pity it appears likely to be one and done for this tiny dancer. 

Dir: Len Wiseman
Star: Ana de Armas, Gabriel Byrne, Anjelica Huston, Keanu Reeves

Ballerina: The Original Script

As mentioned in our review of the 2025 Ballerina movie, the script as originally conceived was not part of the John Wick universe. However, it was inspired by it. Shay Hatten was only in his early twenties went he first came to Hollywood’s notice, for his Maximum King script, a still unproduced entity based on the filming of Stephen King’s only directorial credit, Maximum Overdrive. He followed that up with the script for Ballerina, which was not only bought by Lions Gate, it also got Hatten into the writers’ room for the third and forth entry in the John Wick franchise. He has since worked on both parts of Rebel Moon and is working on the upcoming Resident Evil reboot, so seems to be a fan of our genre. 

Hatten admits that Ballerina is “a script where I was really trying to go to the extreme because I was trying to get people’s attention.” It’s an understandable technique for what are called “spec scripts” – a screenplay written without a prearranged deal, rather than as paid work. You need to stand out among the thousands floating around Hollywood, and pushing the envelope is one way to do so.Ballerina does so from the get-go, showing us a long history of assassination: “The screen now divides into sixteen sections. You get the idea of what’s happening in each of them — in each, a murder from some point in the last five hundred years.” There’s also a sex scene which I’m just going to screenshot for the curious (NFSW, obvs!).

We then meet the heroine, six-year-old Rooney Brown, whose father is shot dead in front of her, immediately after giving her a ballerina music-box. She notches her first kill, pushing the assassin downstairs, and we get a caption. ROONEY KILL COUNT — 1. It’s going to go higher. Much higher. After growing up in group homes, Rooney is employed by a private military company, Whitewater (yeah, that’s subtle…), and becomes a hitwoman for them. In the early going, it’s your fairly standard Nikita clone, Rooney balancing work with a real life, and a blossoming romance with Tom, who has absolutely no clue about what her day job entails. But we do see life in the Alpine town populated entirely by killers, here named Sunnyvale. Which is perhaps close enough to be a Buffy nod, and is certainly not very Swiss. 

Things change after someone tries to kill Rooney, just as she’s beginning to have Assassin Cliche #27: second thoughts about her career. She gets to them first. Unfortunately for her, it’s the daughter of Elias Muller, the mayor of Sunnyvale, described as an “intense, Willem Dafoe, Mads Mikkelsen-looking motherfucker.” He and Whitewater are at war, and he is winning… until his minions massacre Rooney’s husband and his family. She kills all the attackers, telling the last one left alive, “I’m gonna kill everyone in your organization, no more and no less.” She then heads to Sunnyvale. Approaching the half-way point, the kill count has been restrained. Well, up until her arrival in Switzerland, it’s 26. Decent, but not exactly Resident Evil: Extinction [the highest-ranked GWG film at moviebodycounts.com]

Thereafter? Fifty minutes of more or less non-stop carnage. She’s helped in her mission by Pine, who wants to take the chance in the chaos created by Rooney, to escape with his daughter. [Pine does appear in the movie as produced, though his role is rather different] And when I say carnage, I mean it. The kill count racks up like a pinball machine, and by the time she is done, is at a final score of… [drum roll] one thousand, four hundred and eight. Yes, as written, this would perhaps have ended up being the most violent movie ever made. I think we reach peak attention-seeking when she finds the Sunnyvale old folks’ home, and murders two hundred or so senior citizens. However, she’s not totally callous: she largely spares the school, going through it only to extract Pine’s daughter. 

So, is it all any good? I think I preferred the version which actually reached the screen. While I’m a huge fan of senseless, cinematic violence, the second half in particular became a bit of a slog. It becomes, rather obviously, an exercise in pushing people’s outrage buttons. Since I don’t have any outrage buttons, it isn’t too effective. There’s no denying Hatten has a nice line in snark, and some of the descriptive passages are great. But this may be the poster child for less being more. I’m not sure there are many directors in existence who could have delivered the film as written. Maybe Gareth Evans? Takashi Miike? Timo Tjahjanto? The budget required would have likely meant it couldn’t have been released unrated, a necessity given the volume and degree of mayhem. 

On the other hand, I do have to admire the unfettered approach. That’s the good thing about the written word. You can let your imagination run wild, without constraints such as budget or… Well, good taste. Hatten has taken full advantage of that freedom, to trample on action film conventions and push the pedal to the metal. It achieved its intended goal, and now he is a full-time writer. Hard to argue this shouldn’t be considered a success on those terms, even if it was perhaps intended less as a genuine movie, than a memorable calling-card to get his foot in the door.

Ballerina Assassin

★★
“Let the buyer beware.”

Right in the middle of us watching this, Chris got a text from our daughter: “I think we rented the wrong version of Ballerina…” Yes, independently, she was watching the same film. The difference is, we understood what we were getting into. We knew this was a mockbuster from infamous purveyor of such things, The Asylum. I thought the concept of people mistaking Asylum movies for the real thing was an urban legend. Courtesy of our daughter, we now know better. Or worse. For this is, of course, not fit to lace up Ballerina‘s shoes, and anyone expecting it will be sorely disappointed. Yet it’s not irredeemable. I’ve seen considerably worse. From The Asylum,  in particular. 

Though I will question the title. Heroine Maria Herrera (Kaur) is not particularly an assassin. She’s really an agent, working for a shadowy government agency run by Bixby (Keating). She is, however, a former ballerina. This comes in handy for her new mission, in which the agency seeks to trap cartel head and aspiring politician Javier Aguilar (Sellar) on his trip to the United States. Maria is tasked with getting close to his wife, Carmen (Scotto), who is going to an audition for a spot in a ballet troupe. Naturally, it’s not that simple. Maria soon discovers there is someone in the agency who is actually collaborating with Javier, and has a strong desire to see her taken out of the picture. Permanently. 

As stories go, it’s fairly workmanlike. You won’t find it hard to work out who’s the mole. To be fair, the film doesn’t stretch this element out too long, which would have been irritating. It then becomes a battle for possession of a hard-drive containing incriminating evidence. Loyalties shift – Javier in particular is surprisingly sympathetic for a cartel boss – all the way till the final scene. Kaur, who also starred in The Asylum’s Furiosa mockbuster, Road Wars: Max Fury (review of that coming next week) is okay. She’s not particularly pretty, but that kinda works for the character. I was amused by her using her ballet skills to get through a laser corridor, like the kind first seen in Resident Evil.

There’s also a combat drone brought up early on, and you just know it’s going to end up chasing down the heroine. However, when it eventually does, the results are underwhelming, and this goes for the majority of the action. It’s basic stuff, with very little imagination or flair, and nobody here is able to carry it off at any level above the barest minimum. As cheap entertainment – we literally got it through our local library for free – it just about passes muster, if you’re in an undemanding mood. But it’d be much better off not inviting comparisons to what’s likely to be the best action heroine film of the year. Our daughter was highly unhappy about the deceptive marketing, and I cannot blame her in the slightest.

Dir: Michael Su
Star: Preet Kaur, Dominic Keating, Nicolas Sellar, Rocio Scotto

Ballerina: The Original Script

As mentioned in our review of the 2025 Ballerina movie, the script as originally conceived was not part of the John Wick universe. However, it was inspired by it. Shay Hatten was only in his early twenties went he first came to Hollywood’s notice, for his Maximum King script, a still unproduced entity based on the filming of Stephen King’s only directorial credit, Maximum Overdrive. He followed that up with the script for Ballerina, which was not only bought by Lions Gate, it also got Hatten into the writers’ room for the third and forth entry in the John Wick franchise. He has since worked on both parts of Rebel Moon and is working on the upcoming Resident Evil reboot, so seems to be a fan of our genre. 

Hatten admits that Ballerina is “a script where I was really trying to go to the extreme because I was trying to get people’s attention.” It’s an understandable technique for what are called “spec scripts” – a screenplay written without a prearranged deal, rather than as paid work. You need to stand out among the thousands floating around Hollywood, and pushing the envelope is one way to do so.Ballerina does so from the get-go, showing us a long history of assassination: “The screen now divides into sixteen sections. You get the idea of what’s happening in each of them — in each, a murder from some point in the last five hundred years.” There’s also a sex scene which I’m just going to screenshot for the curious (NFSW, obvs!).

We then meet the heroine, six-year-old Rooney Brown, whose father is shot dead in front of her, immediately after giving her a ballerina music-box. She notches her first kill, pushing the assassin downstairs, and we get a caption. ROONEY KILL COUNT — 1. It’s going to go higher. Much higher. After growing up in group homes, Rooney is employed by a private military company, Whitewater (yeah, that’s subtle…), and becomes a hitwoman for them. In the early going, it’s your fairly standard Nikita clone, Rooney balancing work with a real life, and a blossoming romance with Tom, who has absolutely no clue about what her day job entails. But we do see life in the Alpine town populated entirely by killers, here named Sunnyvale. Which is perhaps close enough to be a Buffy nod, and is certainly not very Swiss. 

Things change after someone tries to kill Rooney, just as she’s beginning to have Assassin Cliche #27: second thoughts about her career. She gets to them first. Unfortunately for her, it’s the daughter of Elias Muller, the mayor of Sunnyvale, described as an “intense, Willem Dafoe, Mads Mikkelsen-looking motherfucker.” He and Whitewater are at war, and he is winning… until his minions massacre Rooney’s husband and his family. She kills all the attackers, telling the last one left alive, “I’m gonna kill everyone in your organization, no more and no less.” She then heads to Sunnyvale. Approaching the half-way point, the kill count has been restrained. Well, up until her arrival in Switzerland, it’s 26. Decent, but not exactly Resident Evil: Extinction [the highest-ranked GWG film at moviebodycounts.com]

Thereafter? Fifty minutes of more or less non-stop carnage. She’s helped in her mission by Pine, who wants to take the chance in the chaos created by Rooney, to escape with his daughter. [Pine does appear in the movie as produced, though his role is rather different] And when I say carnage, I mean it. The kill count racks up like a pinball machine, and by the time she is done, is at a final score of… [drum roll] one thousand, four hundred and eight. Yes, as written, this would perhaps have ended up being the most violent movie ever made. I think we reach peak attention-seeking when she finds the Sunnyvale old folks’ home, and murders two hundred or so senior citizens. However, she’s not totally callous: she largely spares the school, going through it only to extract Pine’s daughter. 

So, is it all any good? I think I preferred the version which actually reached the screen. While I’m a huge fan of senseless, cinematic violence, the second half in particular became a bit of a slog. It becomes, rather obviously, an exercise in pushing people’s outrage buttons. Since I don’t have any outrage buttons, it isn’t too effective. There’s no denying Hatten has a nice line in snark, and some of the descriptive passages are great. But this may be the poster child for less being more. I’m not sure there are many directors in existence who could have delivered the film as written. Maybe Gareth Evans? Takashi Miike? Timo Tjahjanto? The budget required would have likely meant it couldn’t have been released unrated, a necessity given the volume and degree of mayhem. 

On the other hand, I do have to admire the unfettered approach. That’s the good thing about the written word. You can let your imagination run wild, without constraints such as budget or… Well, good taste. Hatten has taken full advantage of that freedom, to trample on action film conventions and push the pedal to the metal. It achieved its intended goal, and now he is a full-time writer. Hard to argue this shouldn’t be considered a success on those terms, even if it was perhaps intended less as a genuine movie, than a memorable calling-card to get his foot in the door.

2025 in Action Heroine Films

Time for our 12th annual preview of what might be to come in the year ahead for action heroine fans. But first, a review of 2024, which was… a mixed bag. On the plus side, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga came out, and I really liked it. On the other hand, going by the box-office, I might have been the only one, merely the biggest failure of what has been a continued dismal run for GWG in the movies. The second part of Rebel Moon was… not good, and the Netflix animated version of Tomb Raider was mediocre. There was positives, however: Griselda lived up to expectations, and The Shadow Strays came out of nowhere to deliver the year’s hardest-hitting action.

Next year has some promising titles though. Carrying forward from last year we have Ballerina, which… Well, we’ll get into that. The even longer-delayed In the Lost Lands, looks finally to be coming out too. Below, you’ll find more information on both of those, as well as a good number of other projects, currently slated for release in 2025. More or less, anyway. As we’ve seen previously, any dates given will be subject to change. In addition, like Strays, it’s possible the best films of 2025 may sneak up on us from behind and provide an unexpected groovy treat. [And that’s the first and last Finitribe reference you will see on this site!] Thanks to Dieter, for pointing me in the direction of some of these.

Note that I’m only including films which are listed as 2025 in the Internet Movie Database, though I don’t need a specific release date. Things like the reboot of Cliffhanger, now starring Lily James instead of Sylvester Stallone (that’s quite the casting change!), might show up this year. Or they might not. You will just have to wait and see!

Alpha (TBA)

“Two fierce female agents tackle dangerous missions in a thrilling world of espionage, as they navigate perilous situations, execute daring stunts, and face unexpected turns in this action-packed adventure.” Well, I admire the idea, though Bollywood has tended to be rather more macho. One of the reported stars here is Alia Bhatt, who was in Raazi, one of the few genuine GWG movies out of India. However, I’d be less skeptical if some of the supposed promo pics on the IMDb did not involve face-swaps rather than actual pictures, and particularly poor ones at that. I will believe this film exists, when I see it.

Ballerina (June 6)

Or, to give it its full title: From the World of John Wick: Ballerina. Sheesh. This has been a troubled production, with the product delivered original director Len Wiseman (a.k.a. Mr. Kate Beckinsale) apparently requiring very significant reshoots. The good news: the reshoots were helmed by Chad Stahelski (Atomic Blonde), so if anyone can make the film kick significant quantities of butt, it would be him. Plot looks nothing special: “An assassin trained in the traditions of the Ruska Roma organization sets out to seek revenge after her father’s death.” But then, are we really watching this for the story, rather than Ana de Armas-inspired mayhem?

Cleaner (February 21)

“A group of radical activists take over an energy company’s annual gala, seizing 300 hostages in order to expose the corruption of the hosts. Their just cause is hijacked by an extremist within their ranks, who is ready to murder everyone in the building to send his anarchic message to the world. It falls to an ex-soldier turned window cleaner, played by Daisy Ridley, suspended 50 stories up on the outside of the building, to save those trapped inside, including her younger brother.” In other words: “It’s Die Hard in… a skyscraper”? However, Ridley says, “I would say this is probably the toughest action I’ve done.” It’s also by Martin Campbell, who did Dirty Angels. You decide if that’s a promise or a threat!

The Gorge (February 14)

“Two highly-trained operatives become close after being sent to protect opposite sides of a mysterious gorge. When an evil emerges, they must work together to survive what lies within.” Those operatives would be played by Anya Taylor-Joy, sent there by her boss (Sigourney Weaver) and Miles Teller. Nice to see Taylor-Joy doing more action after Furiosa. This is directed by Scott Derrickson, who did Doctor Strange, and judging by the rather detailed trailer, has some promise. However, this is an Apple TV production, and those have proven to be hit or miss, from what I’ve seen of them. But at time of writing, it’s #2 on the IMDb among next year’s films, behind only 28 Years Later.

In the Lost Lands (February 28)

“A sorceress travels to the Lost Lands in search of a magical power that allows a person to transform into a werewolf.” Shooting on this finished two years prior to its release date, which feels a bit long. However, it marks the re-union of Paul W.S. Anderson, a.k.a. Mr. Milla Jovovich, with… um, his wife, Milla Jovovich. Who would be the sorceress in question, Grey Alys. Dave Bautista plays her ally, Boyce, and – as it was when I wrote about it in last year’s preview! – this is based on a short story by George R.R. Martin. At least it’s one he completed, so there won’t be any Game of Thrones shenanigans here. Hopefully it will also be a bit more memorable than Monster Hunter.

Ji (TBA)

“When the head of a Korean crime syndicate, Jin Eun-Ji, arrives in the Philippines to rescue her kidnapped mother, she finds herself caught in a deadly game of betrayal and revenge between rival gangs.” This is still listed in pre-production, and I don’t know who is playing the heroine. However, its IMDb page lists Yayan Ruhian, who was in both of The Raid movies, so I’m interested. The director, Pedring Lopez, gave us the fairly decent Maria a few years ago, another reason to be hopeful. Might end up being one we carry forward into our 2026 installment, however.

K-Pop: Demon Hunters (TBA)

Okay, I was about to write this one off as some kind of obvious fake, and blatant fan service… But, guess what, folks? It actually exists, being an animated project for Netflix made by Sony Pictures Animation. This is apparently “a musical action adventure that follows the story of a world-renowned K-Pop girl group, as they balance their lives in the spotlight with their secret identities as bad-ass demon hunters, set against a colorful backdrop of fashion, food, style and the most popular music movement of this generation.” I have written about Barbie movies here before, so you can probably expect a review of this in due course.

Powerpuff Girls: the Revenge of Mojo Jojo (August 25)

“Mojo Jojo, has escaped prison, and now plans to destroy Townsville once again. It’s up to Blossom, Bubbles, (and Buttercup to stop Mojo Jojo to finishing his masterplan.” Well, this is unexpected. But is it real? From what I can tell, it appears to be a fan film, rather than an official production. Yet it lists Genndy Tartakovsky as a supervising producer and storyboard artist, and he wrote/directed many episodes of the original show. I loved the Powerpuff Girls back in the day. But can you go home again? I fear not.

Predator: Badlands (November 7)

“In the future, a Predator traverses on an alien wasteland, while two sisters discover their horrifying past.” After Prey, director Dan Trachtenberg goes back to the Predator well, though in a different way. It appears this one might be more focused on the monster. He said, “The creature is front and centre, leading the charge. He’s still badass, but there’s something there that touches you emotionally, too.” However, the film also starts Elle Fanning playing multiple characters – perhaps both of the sisters mentioned in the synopsis. “She faced intense challenges on this movie — dramatically, physically, logistically,” added Trachtenberg, cryptically. 

Star Trek: Section 31 (January 24)

“Emperor Philippa Georgiou joins a secret division of Starfleet tasked with protecting the United Federation of Planets, and must face the sins of her past.” I’ve kinda lost track of the multiple different incarnations of Trek: I leave that to Chris, since she has been a fan forever. But since Georgiou is played by Michelle Yeoh – sorry, these days, that’s Oscar winner Michelle Yeoh! – this might rise above the “I’ll do something else while it’s on in the background” level of the shows. Her character, particularly when in evil mode, has been a lot of fun to watch, because she doesn’t care about politeness. It helps this will also be a one-off movie, rather than a series.

Uppercut (February 28)

“When Elliott (Ving Rhames), a tough ex-boxing champion, accepts the challenge to train Toni (Luise Grossmann), the two mismatched characters form an unlikely alliance. Their sparring and Elliott’s keen insights show the resilient young fighter that real strength comes from the challenges you overcome when life throws its biggest punches your way.” On the upper end, this could be Million Dollar Baby. or Girlfight. But that synopsis seems rather too cliché-ridden, so I’ve a feeling it is more likely to fall short of those lofty ambitions. Rhames is usually worth watching though. Interestingly, this is an English-language remake of the director’s Leberhaken, which also starred Grossmann, a former professional athlete.

Below are trailers for some of the movies discussed above.

Girls With Guns Calendars 2025

Welcome to our fifteenth annual round-up of girls with guns calendars, though the first three were solely on our late, not-so lamented forum which has gone to the Internet graveyard. But this will still be the twelfth one in the site archives, which is kinda impressive. Another year in the books, and at least a couple of decent theatrical GWG films in 2024, a contrast to 2023. But I am still living in Arizona. Plans to move to North Carolina kinda got squashed courtesy of Hurricane Helene, so we’re now looking at less meteorologically troubled areas. Possibly at altitude here in AZ. But as mentioned last year: “We’ll see…”

Not a huge amount to report. If anything, 2024 was even quieter than 2023, but I’m fine with that. I’m at the age where “Nobody I knew died this year” is about the best I can hope for! Had some trips to various places, including Florida. Watched a bunch of films: all told, probably somewhere north of four hundred. Endured another US presidential election in which I can’t vote. Renewed my green card. Failed to acquire a new kitten. Yay!

On the calendar front, numbers seem fairly stable, with almost all of the top entries returning (or, in a couple of cases, promising to return!). Last year, I had to miss Zahal Girls, who didn’t publish anything in time for this review, but I’m pleased to report they are back for 2025.  That balances out the loss of Airsoft Pro. Prices seems to have stabilized too, after the sharp increase last year. Below, you’ll find prices (generally excluding shipping), sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more if we see them, feel free to email us if you know of any others. 

TAC GIRLS

Amazon link – $19.95 [though you may be able to find some coupons on TacGirls.com]

The Tactical Girls 2025 Bikini Gun Calendar has 13 months (1/25-1/26) of Beautiful Girls and Exotic Weaponry!  Every Calendar includes a 12×24″ pull out mini-poster of cover model LaTasha – slides out, no perforations to tear or staples to pull. The 2025 Tactical Girls Calendar brings you 13 months of gorgeous pinup models with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. Includes the EAA Disruptor Pistol, an AR-10 and an AR Pistol from Black Rain Ordnance, an original M1 D Sniper Rifle from WWII / Korea and a Sig MPX.

You’ll find sexy zombie hunters, secret agents, army girls and tributes to your favorite female action movie heroines cradling AR-15 carbines, battle rifles, machine guns, tactical pistols, and sniper rifles, 12 x 24 inches open! Each month includes trivia dates from military, law enforcement and firearms history like The Battle of the Bulge, The Gunfight at the OK Corral and Samuel Colt’s birthday.

GUNS AND GIRLS

GunsAndGirlsCalendar.com – $15.47

This 2025 wall calendar features stunning photographs of beautiful women posing with firearms. Deluxe Edition: Upgrade your calendar experience with the deluxe version, which includes a bonus free poster. Practical Design: This calendar is the perfect size for your home, garage or office wall. Monthly Layouts: Each month offers a new captivating image, along with ample space to write appointments and notes. Collectible Item: As a limited edition, this calendar is a must-have for fans of the ‘Guns & Girls’ series.

WEAPON OUTFITTERS

WeaponOutfitters.com – $39.69

Looks like they’re back to offering both a G- and R-rated version of the calendar this year (the cover of the former is below), as well as another R-rated once called “After Dark Nudes and NODS”, described as “a collection of nude and night vision themed photography.”

DILLON PRECISION

DillonPrecision.com – $19.99

Weapons Outfitters, however, are positively voluble in describing their products, compared to Dillon Precision, who limit the information regarding their product to: “Dimensions: 13.5 X 26.5”. They clearly believe a picture is worth a thousand words…

ZAHAL GIRLS

zahal.org – $38.00

We are proud to present our new ZAHAL Girls Calendar which combines the best of both Former IDF Women and the best tactical gear. No gun bunnies! Only IDF veterans. Size is Approx A3. The Zahal Girls 2025 Calendar is a curated collection of images that honors the valor and commitment of female IDF veterans. Each page of the calendar unfolds with a powerful portrait that not only reflects the individuality and strength of these veterans but also embodies the ethos of the IDF. With an artistic blend of tactical aesthetics and evocative backdrops, the calendar tells a story of determination, unity, and pride, month by month. It serves as a tribute to the spirit of these remarkable women who have served their country with honor, offering inspiration and insight into the lives of those who protect and serve.

WILD DAKOTA GIRLS

wilddakotagirls.com – $18.00

As with last year, the cover doesn’t include any armament. But the promotional video for this year’s calendar definitely includes some firearms, so that works.

THE JOY OF SHOOTING

JoyOfShooting.com – $27.99, also available in an autographed edition.

This one is on uncertain territory, the link above says ‘2025 calendars coming soon!’, but given I’m writing this in the last week of November 2024… I hope it does survive, as this was definitely one of the more impressive items last year. Check out the link and keep your fingers crossed, I guess!

BULLETS AND BIKINIS

bikinicalendarstore.com – $17.99

12 Months in the Hottest Women in Shooting Sports. 11 x 17 When Opened

CCFR GUNNIE GIRL FUNDRAISING CALENDAR

firearmrights.ca – $19.99

This is another one which should perhaps be coming out between now and the end of the year. They had a call for models in April, and it looks like the shoot was in August, but as yet the website has not been updated with ordering information. I’ll leave this one up, linking to the store in general. Price, info and image below are all from the 2024 edition.

This annual fundraising project by the CCFR Women’s Program is critical to financing ladies range days across Canada. Beautiful colour photos highlight real members with the coolest guns! Includes promotional poster (17×22 in.) and instructions on how to register your calendar for free prizes! 8.5 x 11 in. landscape format. Limited quantities available.

 

The Baztan Trilogy

The Baztan trilogy consists of three movies, based on the novels by Dolores Redondo. The setting for these is a small area in the Basque country of Spain, not far from the border with France. Much like the small-town English villages such as Miss Marple’s St. Mary Mead, or Death in Paradise‘s Honoré, the murder rate in this charming and picturesque area appears to rival that of a South American war-zone. I guess you can describe the series as Español negro, being a Mediterranean-based version of Nordic noir. Like those, you have a detective with a troubled past, a history that frequently seeps into her current life, They are investigating crimes resulting from what’s unquestionably the darker side of human nature, and the results are uncomfortably close to home.

In this trilogy, the heroine is Amaia Salazar, a former resident of the region who left under circumstances best described as murky. She joined the police force, rising through the ranks and going through a successful secondment to the FBI, where she distinguished herself. Amaia is now back in Spain, with her American artist husband, James. But, as ever in this kind of thing, the pull of her past is strong. She finds herself coming back to the Baztan region in which she grew up. There, the ghosts of history are lurking and ready to pose a challenge – perhaps equal to that of solving the brutal murders which are the reason for her return.

The trilogy includes the books El guardián invisible (The Invisible Guardian), Legado en los huesos (The Legacy of the Bones) and Ofrenda a la tormenta (Offering to the Storm). From 2017 through 2020, the books were made into three movies by Atresmedia Cine and its partners. Five years after the last of the books was published, Redondo wrote a prequel, La cara norte del corazón (The North Face of the Heart), describing Amaia’s youth and her time with the FBI in America. All four novels were optioned to Heyday Films for American adaptations in October 2021, but there has been almost no news since the original announcement. Still, with the Spanish movies all available on Netflix, the need for any English-language versions is questionable in my opinion. Such things rarely improve on, or even equal, the originals.

Hence, below you’ll find reviews of the three Spanish movies in order. Note: I haven’t read the books, so there will be no further discussion of them, or comparison to the films.


The Invisible Guardian

★★★½
“It’s never sunny in Baztan.”

I’ve traveled a fair bit around Spain and Mediterranean Europe in my time, and the weather was never as unremittingly grim as its depicted here. Things seem to unfold in a permanent downpour. Seriously: Chris and I pretty much were turning it into a drinking game by the end: take a swig every time a scene takes place in the rain. Only concern for the health of our livers prevented us. Googling tells me Baztan is fairly wet: around 55 inches a year. But it felt like most of that arrived during the 129 minute running-time of this film. I suspect David Fincher and Se7en have a lot to answer for, with rain = dark and foreboding atmosphere.

There’s certainly no shortage of that here, even setting meteorological considerations aside. It begins with the discovery of a young girl’s corpse by a river, stripped naked except for a local cake placed on her crotch. Pamplona detective Amaia Salazar (Etura) makes the connection to a previous murder and is sent to Baztan to take over the case. It’s the town where she grew up, and she still has family there. Though relations are still strained with her sister Flora (Mínguez), who runs a bakery in the town. She feels Amaia abandoned the family by “running off” to the United States. It’s not long before we discover their mother had issues, physically abusing Amaia as a child.

However, the main focus is the murders, with further victims turning up, all young girls whose bodies are posed in the same, ritualistic way. The investigation reveals these may be the latest in a series of killings going back fourteen years, which appear to be some kind of moral crusade by the perpetrator. Amaia gets into trouble with her colleagues, because one of the victims was having an affair with her brother-in-law, and she also conceals evidence connecting Flora’s bakery to the cake. She ends up being replaced on the case by Montés (Orella). If you think that’s going to stop Amaia, you clearly haven’t seen enough of this genre.

It does feel very much like the film could be relocated to the Scandinavian forests with very little trouble. There is some specifically local colour in the form of the “Basajaun”, a legendary – or perhaps not – creature, reputed to roam the woods. I suspect its going to play a larger part in the subsequent movies: while this does tidy up the main case, there are a number of loose ends, such as a cave containing a lot more remains. Etura does a good job of handling both the personal drama and the police elements: you may not agree with some of the choices, yet you can see why she made them. Amaia has been through hell, and that she still made something of her life is an admirable trait. A solid enough opening, which even lured Chris off her phone.

Dir: Fernando González Molina
Star: Marta Etura, Elvira Mínguez, Carlos Librado “Nene”, Francesc Orella

The Legacy of the Bones

★★★★
“Skeletons in the closet”

We jump ahead about a year for the second installment. Amaia Salazar (Etura) has now had the baby she announced she was expecting during the first film, and is adjusting to the need for balance between her career and motherhood, with her husband, James. After completing her maternity leave, she returns to work, and is put on a case of church desecration with cult undertones, at the request of the enigmatic Fr. Sarasola (Arias). This is tied to the Cagots, a historically persecuted group native to the region. Simultaneously, there is an ongoing string of murderers committing suicide, each leaving behind a one-word message: “Tartalo”. It’s a reference to a baby-eating giant from Basque mythology, and seems to be linked to the cave of remains found in the previous film.

Both cases take a deeply-personal turn, reflecting the family of Amaia’s long-standing association with the area. When tested for DNA, the bones left on the church altar are a match for her genetics, and her abusive mother Rosario (Sánchez), now kept in a psychiatric facility, scrawls “Taratalo” on the floor of the room in blood, after attacking an orderly.  Amaia is forced to uncover some very unpleasant truths about the history of her family – and, indeed, the way the region in general dealt with children perceived as unwanted or problematic. Her newborn son becomes part of the scenario as it unfolds, pushing the heroine close to the edge, as she picks her way towards solving the crimes of both the past and present.

This goes into some thoroughly dark places, building on the heavy atmosphere set up in the previous movie. For example, we already knew that Rosario is dangerous, and a patently unfit mother. But what we see her do in this film, goes beyond the mere abuse we previously saw. It’s fortunate that Amaia has a strong support network elsewhere in her family, such as Aunt Tía (Aixpuru), who can offer advice and assistance to help keep her niece on the relatively straight and narrow. To be honest, the revelations here would shake anyone to their core, and it’s testament to the heroine’s strength of character, that she is still able to function as a police detective, while the foundations of her life are being pulled out from under her.

The script does a very good job of keeping the multiple plot-threads functioning, moving each forward in turn, as information regarding the situation is discovered. While avoiding spoilers, it is a little hard to believe Amaia would be so in the dark about the situation in regard to her own family: you’d think Tia might have said something? However, there is an almost relentless grimness of tone here – and a lot more rain as well, with a flooded town being integral to the plot – which pulled me in with the inevitability of a rip tide. It might just about work as a standalone entity, yet you will certainly get more out of this, if you’ve seen the first movie and know where it’s coming from.

Dir: Fernando González Molina
Star: Marta Etura, Itziar Aizpuru, Imanol Arias, Susi Sánchez

Offering to the Storm

★★
“Gale force disappointment.”

Oh, dear. I think it’s probably been a very long while since I’ve been so underwhelmed by the finale of a trilogy. All the pieces were in place, after the first two entries, for a grandstand finish to the series. But the script basically fumbles things in every conceivable way, pushing to the front elements that you really don’t care about, while all but discarding things that seemed of crucial importance. There is an effort to tie everything together, with the various crimes from its predecessors being linked into an occult conspiracy in which members of a Satanic circle sacrifice baby girls, and receive worldly power in exchange. This aspect is okay, Amaia having to go up against a group whose power is embedded at the highest levels of local society. The creepiest element is perhaps that the sacrifices seem to work, though nobody seems too bothered about this. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t gel well with the elements carried forward from the first two movies, and a lot of the elements that should be shocking or disturbing simple are not. The worst example is the identity of the cult’s “inside man”, which is so painfully obvious, you may find yourself yelling at the screen, and Amaia as she ploughs on with her investigation, completely oblivious to the threat. Little less blatant is the plot thread where husband James (Northover) is going back to America because his father is ill. We’ve seen enough in this genre to know that there is no possible way Amaia is going to end up accompanying him, regardless of how much she promises she will. The film seems convinced it is the first ever to use this device, to demonstrate how its dedicated, troubled detective has her priorities skewed. 

This somewhat ties into the whole fidelity subplot, which did nothing except make us (Chris especially) lose empathy for the lead character. In this installment, Amaia just does not seem as “heroic” as previously. I get that the pressure on her is building. But I would have preferred it to lean into the saying, “Hard times breed strong women.” There’s just too many occasions on which she breaks down and starts sobbing instead. Some of it may be justified: there’s the uncertainty about the fate of her mother, for example, who was last seen plunging into a flood-swollen mountain river. This is resolved. In about the least satisfactory way possible. At least it is addressed. Remember the “Basajaun”? Because the makers here clearly did not.

At 139 minutes, this is the longest of the trilogy, and you’ll be forgiven if you think it feels that way too. Rather than being led by the film, all too often we found ourselves ahead of it, and then having to wait for the plot and characters to catch up with what we had already figured out. We also ended up rolling our eyes heavily at some of the plot developments, such as the mother of a sacrificed baby acquiring some dynamite and using it to blow open the vault where her child is buried. Wait, what? It’s a shame, that after two films which did so much right, the third does goes wrong in so many different ways.

Dir: Fernando González Molina
Star: Marta Etura, Leonardo Sbaraglia, Carlos Librado “Nene”, Benn Northover