Hands

★★½
“Needs more punch.”

This is a film I wanted to rate higher than I have. The performances are generally decent to good, and I don’t doubt the sincerity of those involved. However, both the script and the core action leave a bit to be desired. To start with the former, I’m not saying this story was written by AI. But if you did train ChatGPT with every combat sports cliché, and then ask it for a script… You probably wouldn’t be too far from what you get here. There’s Naomi (Williams) and Carter (Black), a couple united by their love of mixed martial arts. Until, that is, Carter refuses to take a dive in an underground tournament final, as ordered by the slimy Mindy (Thomas).

When he doesn’t, he gets sucker punched by the aptly named Killgore (MMA legend Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson) and dies. Two years later, Naomi has a chance in an underground tournament of her own. Absolutely no prizes will be offered for guessing who the bracket sets her up to face in the final. There are some other well-worn tropes, such as Naomi’s father (action film veteran Billy Blanks), a former boxer who gave up his career for the sake of his family. To be fair, it does not resolve quite as expected. While there is still the obvious confrontation between Naomi and Mindy, it doesn’t take place in the tournament setting. That’s about the extent of the deviation from genre norms you should expect here.

As noted, I did like the performances, which all hit the required notes. Of particular appeal was Thomas, who makes for a suitably hissable villain, with her Resting Bitch Eyebrows. I also liked Gibb, who took genre cliché #17, the Grizzled Old Coach, and brought it to life. Watching these two face off was close to the highlight of the film, from a dramatic standpoint. I appreciated the occasional dry moments of humour too, such as when tournament promoter Gregor mocks the large bad guy: “What type of name is that anyway? ‘Killgore’. His name is probably Marcus or Brandon.” So, the acting side of things, all told, was fine. It certainly was not the chore it could have been. 

Unfortunately, the action is underwhelming, and that applies particularly on the distaff side. Jackson, Black and Blanks all know their way around a fight: Kuhn and Thomas, very much less so. We see little of Naomi in action for the first hour, and when the “tournament” gets under way, the fights all seem to be over in thirty seconds or less. Mindy is even less of a threat. As the Big Bad, she needs to be established as an existential physical threat to the heroine, and that is something the film fails to do. It’s not often entries in this genre work better as drama than as action, yet such is certainly the case here. Given my interests, the results have to be classed as disappointing, albeit not fatally so. 

Dir: Justin Kuhn, Tanjareen Thomas, Donald Gibb, James M. Black

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