Month: January 2022

Debt

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★★
“In need of repossession.”

This is one of those cases where you can see what a film is trying to do. It just isn’t very good at doing it. In this case, the central character is Gina (Killips), who works as a collector of debts for the mysterious and reclusive “Max”. This is for reasons that become clear towards the end – yet, like a lot else in the film, it doesn’t actually prove to be of much significance. Her latest job involves locating a very large sum of money which went missing from his organization. Suspicion falls on Myles (Orille), and Gina is tasked with finding out whether he was indeed responsible and if so, what he did with the loot. To this end, Gina inserts herself into Myles’s life and comes under increasing pressure from her boss, Simon (Rumley), to get results for Max. But Gina is increasingly disenchanted with her profession, and also increasingly convinced of Myles’s innocence.

What this is aiming at, is depicting a “realistic” portrayal of an enforcer like Gina. This means meaningless chit-chat about whether Gina will or will not be able to make it to a neighbourhood barbecue. Guess what? We. Just. Don’t Care. It’s the kind of thing which could have been put over by a better film-maker in a couple of shots, without the need for characters actually to have a conversation about it. Still, this is what you expect from a man making his first feature, and also choosing not only to direct, but also write and edit the thing as well. Oh, yeah: while also acting as location manager and stunt co-ordinator. That’s spreading yourself perilously thin. Of all those areas, I’d say the editing comes off best, assembled together things in a way that’s coherent and does the most with what Fairman the director has given Fairman the editor.

The rest? Well… not so much. The fights are unimpressive at best, in particular a woeful one where Gina faces a drunk guy behind a bar. This, being the opening demonstration of her talents, should have established her bad-ass credentials. It looks like the result of five minutes of preparation, and even if nothing else is quite as poor, you only get one chance to make a first impression. On the location front, I was amused by the way the fights were very careful staged to avoid property damage; you’d think they could at least have brought their own coffee-table to go through. The script, as noted, tries to do too much, especially at the end, where it attempts a double-twist, but doesn’t stick the landing. The main positive is, I think, Killips. She hits the appropriately world-weary note for the character of Gina, and manages to handle even the chattier scenes in a way which kept them just interesting enough.

Credit is also due to Fairman for getting out there and actually making a feature, especially one with a strong heroine. Hopefully, next time, he’ll get the help he needs to deliver a more polished product.

Dir: Dave Fairman
Star: Ashley Killips, A.J. Orille, Phil Rumley, Eric Hergott

Brides of Satan

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★½
“Cool poster though.”

It’s probably significant that the opening credits of the film talk about the bands and the whiskey company involved. Any mention of the actual actresses taking part, is relegated to a secondary sequence, 15 minutes into the film. That seems to indicate where the priorities lie: if you told me the whole thing was made up to get freebies and as a showcase for the director’s mates, I’d have no problem believing you. Another warning sign is the way every post-production visual trick you can imagine is thrown in there; this often indicates an attempt to paper over flaws in other areas. There’s no doubt the film is certainly trying. However, Bizarro simply tries far too hard, and it’s not long before it becomes simply trying on the viewer instead.

It’s the story of Mary (Robinson), who takes her fiance to the Dirty Bird strip-club as a treat, only for both to be kidnapped by a trio of Satanists, led by Sidney Zero (McMunn). They sacrifice him, towards their goal of summoning the a demon and she only barely escapes with her life. Mary is rescued from the side of the road by down-and-out Lenny Lester (Troyer), who has previously had encounters with the same trio. He trains her in the art of violence – both physical and mental – so that she can take revenge on Zero and her crew. It’s a pretty thin storyline, and with precious little depth there, or for any of the characters. This is why we end up watching extraordinarily shitty variety acts in lieu of anything particularly interesting.

It’s told in a series of chapters, another pretentious touch which annoyed me irrationally, far more than it should. But it’s only in the final chapter, which starts about three minutes before the end credits roll, that the promised revenge particularly shows up. Prior to that, Mary gets to test-drive her skills on a gang of street punks loosely affiliated with Sidney… and that’s about it. Instead, there’s a lot of sitting about, chatting, flashbacks, and the previously mentioned dreadful “alternative” entertainment. Indeed, much of this reeks of the side of alternative culture which is all “Look at meeee!”, in lieu of significant talent.

Even the sleaze is curiously front-loaded, with an opening sequence which drives home the grindhouse philosophy for which Bizarro is apparently aiming… before then all but forgetting it for the rest of the movie. When the demon does eventually show up, it is disposed of with such ease, it feels as if the makers realized they didn’t have the resources to deliver much more than a Halloween mask, and decided to write the whole thing off as quickly as possible. They should likely have extended that realization to the rest of the movie, as outside of semi-decent performance from Troyer, this has nothing much to offer past an admirably punk attitude. It deserves an A for effort, and an F in just about every other area.

Dir: Joe Bizarro
Star: Mindy Robinson, Malice McMunn, John Troyer, Joanna Angel

2022 in Action Heroine Films

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Another year is in the books. I guess 2021 was better than 2020, or at least, we were more used to the COVID world. Still haven’t been to the cinema since late 2019: the tendency for films to be released on streaming services alongside, or very shortly after, their theatrical releases influenced that decision. The most recent such example was The Matrix Resurrections, which was watched from the couch. Good thing too, as it was severely underwhelming across the board. An amazing contrast to the original film, which broke so much new ground, and gave us an iconic action heroine in Trinity. I will not be updating that article to reflect the fourth movie.

Looking back at the other films listed in our 2021 preview, there was not much to write home about, with disappointments like Resurrections or Raya and the Last Dragon outnumbering those that punched above their weight. Black Widow was the best of the bunch mentioned there, though I also enjoyed Gunpowder Milkshake. However, there were a few which snuck in under the radar of our preview, and managed to get our seal of approval this year without being anticipated: Breaking Surface, Sentinelle and Bruised were all solid.

But enough looking back to the past. I’ve scrolled through several hundred upcoming candidates of features due to be released in 2022, and these are the ones which have most potential to be covered on this site at some point next year. What stands out in particular, is how many of these are streaming rather than theatrical (or even DVD – is that still a thing?), As ever, they are in alphabetical order; the release dates given are the ones for the United States, and are subject to change – though most are TBA! It may also be that any of them don’t actually qualify here, when the full product is available for assessment. Synopsis in quotes are taken from the IMDb.

The 355 (January 7)

“When a top-secret weapon falls into mercenary hands, a wild card CIA agent joins forces with three international agents on a lethal mission to retrieve it, while staying a step ahead of a mysterious woman who’s tracking their every move.” Women all over the place in this: the four agents are played by Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Diane Kruger and Penélope Cruz, while the one tracking them is Fan Bingbing. I do worry somewhat about this feeling a little too socially-conscious, but if it can avoid being led by its message, there’s potential here.

Batgirl (TBA)

“Based upon the popular DC character, Barbara Gordon dons the guise of Batgirl to fight crime.” Leslie Grace plays Gordon, in one of the few superheroine films scheduled to hit the big screen next year: there will be She-Hulk and Ms. Marvel television series, however. Michel Keaton returns to play Batman, and J.K. Simmons is Commissioner Gordon, but details are limited. Still filming as of the end of last month, so I’d not be surprised if this ends up re-appearing in next year’s version of this article.

Bullet Train (July 15)

“Five assassins aboard a fast moving bullet train find out their missions have something in common.” While described as an ensemble cast, also including Brad Pitt, I’m including this one, as the Japanese novel on which it’s based is called Maria Beetle, a character played here by Sandra Bullock. Counterpoint: Bullock took over from Lady Gaga, who’s not exactly known as an action heroine. Counter-counterpoimt: it is directed by David Leitch, who knows his way around this site (and used to be Pitt’s stunt double!). We should know more when a trailer comes out.

Dominique (TBA)

“Dominique Rashidi is on the run from deadly danger, but not from whom you’d expect. It’s her parents who are after her and they will do everything in their power to stop her. Family bonds are shattered, torn apart, crushed and trampled in the ground, as Dominique fights for her life to put her parents behind bars for the rest of theirs and gain her freedom in the process.” Don’t know any more about anyone involved, but I am digging the still (right)

Everything Everywhere All at Once (March 25)

Michelle Yeoh is an undoubted, first ballot Action Heroine Hall of Famer, and I’ll watching anything with her in it. This has not one, but multiple Michelle Yeohs, “swept up in an insane adventure, where she alone can save the world by exploring other universes connecting with the lives she could have led.” The trailer does, indeed, look rather bonkers, but it does seem that Yeoh, who turns sixty next year, is still capable of kicking ass. I’m optimistic this will be fun.

Interceptor (TBA)

“When 16 nuclear missiles are launched at the US, and a violent attack simultaneously threatens her remote missile interceptor station, one Army lieutenant must utilize her tactical training and military expertise to save humanity.”Star Elsa Pataky is best known as part of the Fast & Furious franchise, but here we know her as a cartel mermaid (!) in Tidelands. This Netflix production is Australian-set and directed by thriller writer Matthew Reilly, who calls his heroine “a strong, independent and determined woman who, in the face of overwhelming odds, just refuses to give up.”

The Mother (TBA)

“While fleeing from dangerous assailants, an assassin comes out of hiding to protect her daughter she left earlier in life.” That synopsis seems not unlike a couple of other assassin-mother films we saw this year, doesn’t it? I’m guessing that Jennifer Lopez is the title character. Director Niki Caro gave us the live-action Mulan, and this looks also to be skipping theatres, since Wikipedia says Netflix are the distributors.

Prey (Summer)

“The origin story of the Predator in the world of the Comanche Nation 300 years ago. Naru, a skilled female warrior, fights to protect her tribe against one of the first highly-evolved Predators to land on Earth” The Predator franchise has kinda been a dead-horse for me of late, largely in decline since Predator 2, but this might have some potential. Director Dan Trachtenberg did 10 Cloverfield Lane, so hard to be sure what he’ll bring to the fifth-ish installment in the series. In the US, this is supposed to be going straight to Hulu.

The Princess (TBA)

Normally, Disney movies would not merit coverage here, but the still (left) piqued my interest, and the studio described it as “John Wick meets Sleeping Beauty”. Okay, I’m interested. Also: it’s directed by Le-Van Kiet, a Vietnamese director who gave the site the somewhat decent Furie in 2019, so is not a stranger to the genre. I’m still doubtful it will prove capable of living up to the description, but I’ll still be checking it out on Hulu.

Scorched Earth (TBA)

“After the apocalypse, all water is radioactive and deadly to drink. In this dystopian world, Gylian goes to extreme lengths to make sure her daughter gets the medication she needs to survive.” Seems to be a low-budget British production, so I feel warm towards it. The script is here.

The Street Avenger (TBA)

“When a young girl being raised by a single father loses him to gang violence she turns to law enforcement but they are no help. She tries to take the law into her own hands and finds out being a vigilante is nothing like she reads about in the comics. Rosie (played by Mischa Renee) quickly finds herself caught in a war between two rival gangs while trying to stay two steps ahead of the police.” Also has Danny Trejo playing a character called Muerte. Okay, I’m in – though I have reasons to suspect this one may not show up. Prove me wrong, street avenger…

Trigger Warning (TBA)

“A traumatized veteran who inherits her grandfather’s bar and faces a moral dilemma after learning the truth behind his untimely death.” This stars Jessica Alba and has been around for a while, first being announced in May 2020. For whatever reason, filming didn’t start until fall this year. It’s another Netflix movie.