There are times when I am bracing myself, going into a movie. Here’s the synopsis for this one: “A transgender teenage girl on summer vacation in Los Angeles fights to survive after she falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid the city’s streets of predatory men.” Given my long-standing aversion to message movies, this seemed like 90 minutes of my worst nightmare. What had I let myself in for? But this proved to be surprisingly accessible – even for those of us who are neither transgender nor queer, and are enrolled in the Camille Paglia school of feminism.
It reminded me of We Are The Night, about a similar group of female “party vampires” who embrace a newcomer to their ranks. Though as the tagline above suggests, I guess both movies owe a large debt to The Lost Boys. To be honest, if I hadn’t read the synopsis, I wouldn’t know the heroine, Laurel (Maines) is intended to be transgender. There is discussion of some previous trauma before she leaves home after graduating, but it’s never her defining characteristic. Her new pals are relentlessly feminist, to the point of misanthropic. According to their leader, Duke (Hopper), the prime directive is: “You never, ever turn a man. Men can’t handle power. They have it already, and look what they’ve done with it.” Yet her own handling of power is highly questionable: she admits to using it for “indiscriminate” killing, and compares their group to terrorists. By the end, Laurel is openly challenging that unbreakable rule – as she should.
Their two performance are the glue which holds this together, in particular as it depicts the slowly developing conflict between Laurel and Duke. The script also plays a part, revealing the truth about Duke’s origins and powers – and the more we learn, the more questionable the leader becomes. Yet there are also moments of dry humour, which stop this from becoming a grim fairy tale. For instance, Duke telling Laurel, “The first rule of Bite Club…” When this triggers little more than a derisive snort from the new recruit, one of her lieutenants pipes up, dead-panning, “Juggalos was taken.” This kind of thing fits in: I suspect in such a scenario, the vampires would not take themselves entirely seriously.
The flaws tend to be when the film does occasionally topple over into self-importance. The worst offender is probably Vlad, the master of their species. While the film opens with some snarky comments about Twilight, his performance is far more hammy than anything delivered in that franchise. There’s a badly underdeveloped plot about vampire-hunters, which is little more than “Boys are stupid”. I could also have done without a soundtrack which appears to be the writer-director’s iPhone on random, or the gratuitous Death Valley Girls concert [I can only presume they’re pals of his, given some free publicity in the movie]. All told though, this was considerably better than my prejudices would have had me believe going in. The lesson here appears to be, don’t judge a film by its synopsis.
Dir: Brad Michael Elmore Star: Nicole Maines, Diana Hopper, Zolee Griggs, James Paxton
This was likely not going to qualify for inclusion here, until a twist in the final 15 minutes. Up until that point, it had been a largely irritating saga, that was considerably more horror than action heroine – and not even good horror at that. I’m still significantly unconvinced about the quality, but must grudgingly admit, this was a twist which I did not particularly see coming (though there is a large clue dropped near the beginning). Three gal-pals, Tamara (Betham), Maddy (Taylor-Compton) and Brooke (Allbright) head for a weekend’s lakeside R&R. On the way, Tamara’s car runs out of fuel, and she encounters the local creeps, but eventually arrives, and joins the other two in scamming drinks out of horny guys.
However, the creeps are lurking, and a drugged beverage leads to Tamara waking, tied up in a farm outhouse. Turns out they’re not just creeps, but have a particular religious bent. They kidnap women, rape them, and then kill them so they can go to heaven and have “angel babies”, because… Look, they’re religious nutters, okay? Yet, that might be their fatal weakness, something Tamara can use against them, as she curses them, claiming to have occult powers. For if she is a servant of Satan, she’s hardly going to be capable of having those adorable little cherubs, is she? This is, actually, a potentially interesting aspect. However, it’s discarded in favour of the twist mentioned above, and even though it brought the film more into our wheel-house, I’m inclined to wish they hadn’t bothered.
The bigger problems start with the characterizations. The three girls are thinly-sketched at best: two are lesbians, because… well, presumably for the same reasons there is a pointless African-American sheriff’s deputy with a crush on Tamara. Not sure. None of the women seem very likeable, and indeed, I’d be hard pushed to tell you much about any of the trio as people: Maddy and Brooke barely serve any purpose, and the film might have worked better with Tamara operating as a lone wolf. The villains are equally shallow: the Wyatt Family from WWE exhibited more complexity and personality. And if you are hoping for gore or nudity, you are respectively going to be largely and completely disappointed.
It is one of those films where it reaches the end, and you find yourself wondering where things will go from there. Now that the little secret is out of the bag, any sequel would of necessity have to be completely different in its approach, yet that might prove to be more successful. However, it would have to work considerably harder to retain the viewer’s interest than the effort put in here. There were a number of occasions where I simply found myself no longer paying attention, and had to crank back the film a few minutes, just to be sure in my role as a conscientious film reviewer, that I had not missed anything. I hadn’t, and my suggestion is that you should probably skip the whole thing.
Dir: Lane Toran Star: Jaclyn Betham, Scout Taylor-Compton, Landry Allbright, Lane Toran
Welp. I usually enjoy writing this article, looking forward to what action heroines we might get in the coming year. But after the past 12 months, you’ll understand if I’m a little gun shy – or, more accurately, girls-with-guns shy. Looking back at our 2020 preview, it seems like a document from a different universe. There were three “tentpole” action heroine films scheduled: one (BlackWidow) was pushed back by more than a year; another (Mulan) skipped cinemas entirely in North America; while the third (Wonder Woman 1984) received a mere token release. This left Birds of Prey, with a worldwide gross of barely $200 million, as far and away the year’s top title. I did not see that coming.
It wasn’t a great year. The films mentioned above all had their various issues, as did Enola Holmes, The Rhythm Section and Underwater, while Gretel and Hansel failed to qualify here. The Serpent vanished without trace, and Run Hide Fight is MIA. Others followed Black Widow in being held back entirely, and we’ll get to those in due course. [By which I may well mean. “copy-paste their entry from 2020”] All told, the three best films released in North America last year weren’t mentioned in the preview:A Good Woman is Hard to Find, Guns Akimboand The Hunt. There are still a couple I have yet to see – Monster Hunter and Promising Young Woman – but The Hunt was probably my favourite GWG film of 2020. I did not see that coming either.
Anyway, this train-wreck of a year has, obviously, derailed film production for a large part, and that simply means there are not as many entries available to preview. Quite what this will mean for 2021, remains to be seen, but I’m just glad I’ve got a backlog of reviews (we’re currently scheduling into June), as there may be a shortage of relevant product. That said, I’ve gone through the upcoming schedule of films listed in the IMDb as having a 2021 release date and which may end up getting reviewed here. As usual, everything is subject to change. Particularly if another global pandemic sweeps out of the wet markets in the Far East…
The Asset (23 April)
I found two rather conflicting synopses. #1: ” A hacker and her partners in crime accidentally steal millions from a crime boss, forced into hiding to train for their inevitable confrontation.” #2: “Two of the world’s best assassins, Rembrandt and Anna, must form an unlikely alliance when Anna’s mentor is murdered. They travel to Vietnam to find the killer.” Your choice. :) Given that Maggie Q is Anna (Michael Keaton is Rembrandt), and it’s directed by Martin Campbell, of Goldeneye, I am interested.
Black Widow (7 May)
Pushed back more than a year from its original release date, this is still likely to be the largest action-heroine film of the year – providing there are any cinemas left in which to show it. Obviously, any momentum for the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been halted; it’ll be close to two years since the last entry was released, Spider-Man: Far From Home. Having also been underwhelmed by this year’s “tent-poles”, my enthusiasm is probably toned down, to the point I may not bother seeing this in the cinema. This is, to an extent, because I’m simply out of the habit.
Gunpowder Milkshake (TBA)
Certainly possessing the best action-heroine cast of 2020 2021. Karen Gillan, Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh, Lena Headey and Angela Bassett? Okay, you have my attention. A year has passed, and still not much more is known about this one. It got a distributor in February, but ten months later, we still don’t even have a trailer, even though the film’s entire worldwide rights have been sold. We do, at least have a synopsis: Sam (Gillan) was raised by crime syndicate The Firm, but eventually has to go against them, with the help of her mother (Headey), and friends known as The Librarians (Bassett, Yeoh and Gugino, pictured top).
Jolt (TBA)
I’ll just leave this synopsis here. “A bouncer with a slightly murderous anger-management problem that she controls with the help of an electrode-lined vest she uses to shock herself back to normalcy whenever she gets homicidal. After the first guy she’s ever fallen for is murdered, she goes on a revenge-fueled rampage to find the killer while the cops pursue her as their chief suspect.” Okay… Seems like Crank with a heroine, but since the heroine is Kate Beckinsale, I’m down.
The Matrix 4 (22 December)
Amazing to think it’s seventeen years ago we wrote Wholly Trinity, about the role of Trinity in The Matrix trilogy. Since then? Well, Keanu Reeves is now John Wick, Carrie-Anne Moss is 53, and the Wachowski brothers… aren’t. To be honest, the Wachowski’s post-Matrix work has been lacklustre; Speed Racer, for example, is flat-out unwatchable. I suspect Lana Wachowski (Lilly is not involved) will need to be as innovative as the original movie was, if this is to succeed. We’ll see if that’s the case, though since this is currently scheduled to be released on HBO Max.
Mayday (TBA)
A borderline candidate, which IMDb currently has filed under “Drama”. However, the synopsis makes it seem potentially of interest. “After a short circuit at her workplace mysteriously transports her to an alternate world, Ana meets a crew of female soldiers caught in an endless war. Along a strange and rugged coastline, men face the stark truth lurking behind damsels who appear to be in distress. Under the leadership of Marsha, Ana trains as a sharpshooter and discovers a newfound freedom in this uninhibited sisterhood. She soon senses she may not be the ruthless killer they expect, though, and time is running out for her to find a path home..”
Raya and the Last Dragon (5 March)
An animated film by Disney, here’s the plot: “Long ago, in the fantasy world of Kumandra, humans and dragons lived together in harmony. But when an evil force threatened the land, the dragons sacrificed themselves to save humanity. Now, 500 years later, that same evil has returned and it’s up to a lone warrior, Raya, to track down the legendary last dragon to restore the fractured land and its divided people.” Kelly Marie Tran, who played Rose Tico in the Star Wars franchise, voices Raya. The trailer makes it look kinda fun; weirdly, it gives me an Aeon Flux vibe!
Resident Evil (TBA)
A reboot of the iconic franchise starring Milla Jovovich, there’s no details of the plot, but I suspect it will probably hew closer to the video games. The changes made i.e. Alice wasn’t a game character, was the most common complaint about the earlier movies by fans. But even without Milla, I still expect there to be plenty of female bad-assery here, with Kaya Scodelario as Claire Redfield, and Hannah John-Kamen playing Jill Valentine. We’ll see where the balance landed between between them and male characters like Chris Redfield and Leon Kennedy.
Run Hide Fight (TBA)
“17-year-old Zoe Hull uses her wits, survival skills, and compassion to fight for her life, and those of her fellow classmates, against a group of live-streaming school shooters.” Was screened in September at the Venice International Film Festival, and reviews were… not kind, though appeared largely informed by the viewer’s personal politics, reaching their nadir in this hysterically triggered entity. Teens killing teens has been a problematic topic for movie since Battle Royale, and it clearly doesn’t appear that has changed. Someone will release it, I’ve no doubt, but I suspect it won’t be theatrical.
Shadow in the Cloud (1 January)
I hadn’t even heard of this one until Dieter mentioned it to me. It stars Chloe Grace Moretz as a female WWII pilot, who is travelling with top secret documents on a B-17 Flying Fortress, when she discovers that the “gremlins” mentioned in propaganda films are thoroughly real. The trailer’s below, and it looks… Well, check out the scene where she falls out of the plane and then gets blown back into it by an explosion. I’m not sure whether to snort derisively, or be in awe at the maker’s sheer audacity. Either way, it certainly seems to be starting 2021 with a bang!
Till Death (TBA)
Megan Fox seems to be leaning towards the action genre of late – we recently wrote about her playing a mercenary in Rogue. This is perhaps a bit more plausible, but going by the blood-spattered Megan still, maybe not much less violent! She plays a woman who is “left handcuffed to her dead husband as part of a sick revenge plot. Unable to unshackle, she has to survive as two killers arrive to finish her off.” There would certainly seem to be plenty of potential for carnage here.
Zombinatrix (TBA)
From the potentially sublime to the utterly ridiculous (hopefully, deliberately). The synopsis, as submitted to the IMDB by lead actress and co-writer Bianca Allaine: “A Dominatrix is brutally murdered by thugs. Returning from the grave as Zombinatrix, she takes great pleasure in incorporating her sadistic S&M kinks into killing anyone crossing her path. After all, she is into whips and BRAINS.” If it isn’t getting Oscar consideration this time next year, I say we storm Hollywood. :)
There are times when I am bracing myself, going into a movie. Here’s the synopsis for this one: “A transgender teenage girl on summer vacation in Los Angeles fights to survive after she falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid the city’s streets of predatory men.” Given my long-standing aversion to message movies, this seemed like 90 minutes of my worst nightmare. What had I let myself in for? But this proved to be surprisingly accessible – even for those of us who are neither transgender nor queer, and are enrolled in the Camille Paglia school of feminism.
This was likely not going to qualify for inclusion here, until a twist in the final 15 minutes. Up until that point, it had been a largely irritating saga, that was considerably more horror than action heroine – and not even good horror at that. I’m still significantly unconvinced about the quality, but must grudgingly admit, this was a twist which I did not particularly see coming (though there is a large clue dropped near the beginning). Three gal-pals, Tamara (Betham), Maddy (Taylor-Compton) and Brooke (Allbright) head for a weekend’s lakeside R&R. On the way, Tamara’s car runs out of fuel, and she encounters the local creeps, but eventually arrives, and joins the other two in scamming drinks out of horny guys.
