One Girl, 2 Guns

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“Possibly the worst girls-with-guns movie in history?”

Even given that this was shot in 6 days for $5,000, it sucks on every conceivable level. Scenes are twice as long as necessary, or totally superfluous. The script has little of interest. And since there’s absolutely no sign of talent whatsoever, I have to presume the director slept with his leading lady. Hope she was better in bed than on screen. Rachel and Jane execute drug deals for their boss – emphasis on “execute”, since they get both the cash and your drugs. Jane’s qualms get worse when Rachel is shot dead, and she leaves the organization, until an FBI agent forces her to return, in order to kill her employer. She also gets frequent visits from the ghost of her dead friend.

In case the above sounds remotely interesting, let me repeat: this sucks on every conceivable level. The original choice for Jane quit because of qualms about the script: an excellent decision. Replacement Moss had never acted before, and it shows. Even as she’s being raped, I’ve seen pond scum with a bigger range of emotions, and if it’s an attempt to depict emotional numbness, she fails, coming across simply as tediously bad. Renee Roland does better as Rachel, and the film might have had a chance if they’d swapped parts – “dead” being just about in Moss’s dramatic range.

The rest of the cast irritate, with dialogue that’s not as clever as it thinks; the nadir is an inept scene where two henchmen bicker over how to cut up Rachel’s body. Beesley apparently wants to be Tarantino, but it’s woefully clear he lacks writing skill – indeed, any skill at all. Given his failure to work on a pic since, he might have been better off sticking to Playgirl magazine, an appearance in which helped fund this movie. Curiously, Googling Mike Lee Beesley turned up one in Palmdale (where the film was partly shot), who’s now founder and president of Cross Fire Ministries, Inc. If that’s him, wonder how he views this work?

Dir: Mike Lee Beesley
Star: Kirsten Moore, Renee Roland, Michael McGaharn, Tom Rees

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