Girls With Guns Calendars 2022

Welcome to our 12th annual round-up of girls with guns calendars (though only the past nine still exist, the first three having been port of the GWG forum, which had be put down due to spam!). It’s always an indication that the year is coming to an end, and 2021 has been… interesting. Not necessarily in a good way, as I ended up spending my first night in hospital ever. Thanks, COVID-19! All better now though; let’s hope 2022 proves less of an issue there! And what better way to look forward to the new year, than with a calendar?

As ever, some depart and others arrive. Apparently lost from last year are Alpha Gun Angels, whose website is now down, and Facebook hasn’t been updated since March. But there are still quite a few for your browsing pleasure. Therefore, below, you’ll find prices (generally excluding shipping), sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more if we see them, feel free to email us if you know of any others. 

TAC GIRLS

TacGirls.com – $18.95

“The Tactical Girls® 2022 Bikini Gun Calendar is our Best Girls and Guns Calendar yet, with 13 months of beautiful girls and exotic weaponry! Every 2022 Tactical Girls Calendar comes with a 12X24 mini Poster insert with the cover girl Diamond D – It slides out of the calendar, no tearing or staples to pull. The 2022 Tactical Girls Calendar brings you 13 months of gorgeous models with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. The 2022 Tactical Girls Calendar includes the Cadex CDX-50 Tremor Rifle, the Kel-Tec Sub CQB integrally suppressed carbine and the DSA SPR, the most accurate FAL ever made. These, along with a variety of AR-15 carbines, battle rifles, shotguns, pistols and sniper rifles make for a perfect Holiday gift for the Marine, Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Police Officer, Shooting Enthusiast, Hunter, Airsoft Player or History buff on your list. Fill that 2 foot square empty space on your Man Cave, garage, barracks or tent wall with 13 months of Girls and Guns. 

10% of the print run of this calendar is donated to deployed soldiers and organizations that support them, notably AmericanSnipers.org.”

LIBERTY BELLES

LibertyBellesUSA.com – $14.95

“1778 is a rough year for the American rebellion and Washington’s men are freezing in their Valley Forge encampment. Never fear, the camp following Liberty Belles are here to warm them up.  Get ready for another year as they pose for liberty and the right to bear arms, shoulders, and legs. Each month, the ladies portray important female figures (both famous and obscure) who nonetheless fought along side the men during the war that birthed our nation. The design for this 2022 calendar is inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Almanac.” It features a Lunar calendar, a measurement tool on the side, and a bit of important wisdom from our first president & founder, George Washington, and —of course as always— girls with firearms.  This calendar also showcases the dates for some of the most infamous battles of the revolution. Only Federally observed  holidays are included in this calendar. The calendar also includes a 12″ x 18″ centerfold pull out poster”

GUNS AND GIRLS

GunsAndGirlsCalendar.com – $19.95

The 2022 GUNS AND GIRLS wall calendar is packed with beautiful pin up models and many of today’s most popular weapons, everything from handguns to AR-15’s. This 16 month large format calendar is 17″x 28″ when hung up and a perfect gift for any Armed Service Member, Police Officer or Shooting Enthusiast. Also includes a bonus 12 month poster inside giving you two calendars in one package!

ZAHAL GIRLS

zahal.org – $???

The website doesn’t have the 2022 calendar for sale at this point, but according to a Facebook post on the Zahal page from August 30, it “is almost ready and it’s going to be hot.” So I’m still going to include it here for now! I’m sure the site will be updated as and when it’s available.

WEAPON OUTFITTERS

WeaponOutfitters.com

As last year, they are doubling their potential sales by offering two versions. The PG-13 version ($24,95) is “Featuring several returning favorites and a few fresh faces,”, while the NSFW version ($34.95), has some of the same models – presumably wearing less! – but also some other faces.

 

DILLON PRECISION

DillonPrecision.com – $14.99

The website says absolutely nothing about the product, except to inform you that “calendars are shipping now.” They seem to be operating on the basis that a picture is worth a thousand words. :) This picture, in particular.

WILD DAKOTA GIRLS

wilddakotagirls.com – $14.95

Seem to be embracing their inner GWG a bit more than last year, going by the cover of this year’s edition! It’s still also for a good cause, with the profits going towards the fight against breast cancer. A worthwhile endeavour. Be a shame if anything were to happen to these puppies. :)

GIRLS AND GUNS

Available through Amazon, $11.99

“For Men, Boys, Booty, Butts, And Guns Lovers. Keep track of your schedule with this wonderful calendar. This calendar will help you stay organized while expressing your personal style.”

Women With Guns

Poster Foundry, $14.99

“Large 18 Month Calendar Monthly Full Color Thick Paper Pages Folded Ready To Hang Planner Agenda 18×12 inch.” I dunno, they maybe didn’t quite cram in enough search engine keywords to their description?

Girls vs. Guns

From Ebay, $23.85

“Feel more organized with just a glance at your wall. Covers 18 months from January 2022 to June 2023, giving you the full 12 months for 2022 plus 6 extra months of 2023 for convenient year-round planning, appointments, and scheduling. Printed on premium paper with vibrant inks for beautiful, rich colors. Easy to write on as a planner at your work desk, in a classroom or as a family organizer. 2022 calendars make great gifts for birthdays and holidays too.”

HENS AND GUNS

Email [email protected] to order, £13.00

Another charity effort, this one seems to have been around for a while – they talk on their Facebook page about this being their second year, but also mention a 2015 calendar. So I’m a bit confused. But as the only British GWG calendar I could find, they definitely deserve some love!

 

The Long Kiss Goodnight – 25 years on

★★★
“We have a mommy who slays the monsters for her daughter – but the monsters are real.” — Shane Black

As mentioned in my review of Kate, I was startled to discover I had never reviewed this, since it is one of the most well-known entries in the action heroine genre of its time. Since its time was almost exactly 25 years ago  – the movie was released on October 11, 1996 – now seems as good a point as any to rectify the omission. It was the second collaboration in our field between Renny Harlin and then-wife Geena Davis. The first was Cutthroat Island, a film whose troubled production and spectacular failure we have previously covered. But that did not dissuade either Harlin or studio New Line Pictures from trying again, albeit without the troublesome period setting and sea-going. As a result, the budget here was $65 million, a third lower than Cutthroat.

Some aspects were still not exactly cheap. Writer Shane Black was, at the time, a ‘rock star” screenplay author, having written Lethal Weapon – though subsequent efforts The Last Boy Scout and The Last Action Hero had not lived up to commercial expectations. Still, the script for this provoked a bidding war between New Line, Warner Brothers and Columbia Studios, eventually costing the first-named $4 million in July 1994, including a $500K producer’s fee for Black. That was a new record for a spec script, one which would last more than a decade, breaking the previous high of $3 million, paid to Joe Eszterhas for Basic Instinct. This was before filming on Cutthroat Island had even started, so production of Goodnight was put on the back-burner. Consequently, shooting did not begin until 18 months after the script was purchased.

It took place from January-May 1996 in Ontario, Canada, and the conditions posed many issues for the cast and crew. According to Harlin, “The coldest night was when we were working on the bridge in the end sequence. It was a night when the wind was blowing 70 miles an hour and it was minus 98 degrees with the wind chill.” Though it was probably Davis, who had to pretend she was unconscious and lie on the ground, who experienced the worst of it. Harlin had nothing but praise for her: “Geena’s particularly tough. She’s very athletic and very determined. So, if there’s anything she feels that she can’t do, she’ll put all her energies into making sure that she can learn it, and by the time it is needed, she can do it.”

Generally, however, production went smoothly – save for a historic location burning down.  But if you read Black’s February 1995 script, you can see the violence has been significantly toned down by the time it reaches the screen. For example, this line depicting a character, shot in the head in a diner: “Mr. Shotgun dies on his feet. Outgoing matter. Flung. Spattered on the grill where it sizzles along with burnt hamburger.” Ick. A test screening also triggered a significant change. Jackson’s character, private eye Mitch Henessey, was originally intended to die, but the audience reaction was so negative, that Harlin went back and shot additional footage. “That’s right! You can’t kill me, motherfuckers!” now crows Henessey, as he comes back from the dead.

While not the disaster at the box-office which was Cutthroat Island, it wasn’t a great success. In its opening weekend, it came in at #3, well back of fellow new release The Ghost and the Darkness, and even behind The First Wives’ Club, in its fourth week out. By the end of its run, it had taken $33.4 million, though did better overseas, with $56 million. Still, that $89.4 million was not much more than the production budget and after promotion and other costs, profits will have been slim to non-existent. Was it a hang-over from Cutthroat? Poor marketing? Or simply having an action heroine? Black reckons “It might have made more money” with a male lead. That all said, how does it stand up, a quarter-century later?

Truth be told, I’ve seen this several times over the years: it always feels I should like it more than I do, and I come away feeling a little disappointed. Especially now, it is a product of its time, and certainly, pales in comparison to not dissimilar spy movies since, such as Salt or Atomic Blonde. The pacing feels particularly leisurely, with it being close to an hour before Samantha Caine (Davis) gets fully in touch with her inner assassin, “Charly” Baltimore. Charly suffered amnesia after a fall on a mission eight years previously, and had become happy housewife Samantha, complete with boyfriend and adorable little moppet. But a blow to the head reawakens Charley – much to the concern of a number of people, not least of whom are her former employers, to whom she could now become an embarrassment.

Firstly, what is it with Black and hyperviolent Christmas film? Like Die Hard, and much of his output, this takes place over the festive season because… I guess it’s a counterpoint to that hyperviolence. That aside, this is mostly the journey of Charly to rediscover her past, but the terrorist mission she was targeted with disrupting, is about to happen in a couple of days – what are the odds? – as a CIA false-flag operation, under Assistant Director Leland Perkins (Malahide). As leverage against her, Perkins’s minion (Bierko) kidnaps the moppet. Big mistake. Charly storms in and rescues her daughter, before having to stop the planned attack. I must say, the moppet is remarkably resilient, surviving being thrown through a hole in the wall of her house, and a hellacious tanker crash, with barely a scratch.

It might have been more fun to have sustained the housewife/spy duality for longer e.g. having Charly turn up at the PTA, or deal with the thousand and one microaggressions of everyday suburban life. Instead, we get rather too many scenes of her driving round with Henessey. These are kinda fun – there’s an entire film to be made about the shady PI, with his sideline in blackmail – yet in a movie that’s two hours long, feel like needless padding. The bad guys are basically stupid, wasting any number of opportunities to take care of the problem i.e. Charley, and go about their plot in a way that… well, let’s be charitable and say, maybe it made sense in the mid-nineties. That is not the only aspect to have dated poorly. The whole “false flag” thing now has the distinct scent of conspiracy nut to it, since we’ve heard this claimed for virtually every attack since 9/11.

It’s certainly not all bad though. Davis is great on both sides of her split personality, eventually merging them into a whole which feels comfortable. There’s no denying her derring-do, and on several occasions, Harlin shoots things so you feel certain it’s a stunt double assembling a gun, or ice-skating, only to pan up and show – nope, it was Geena. The final explosion at Niagara Falls is as spectacular a giant fireball as you could hope to see, and the action scenes in general are top-notch stuff, from a time before you assumed CGI was always involved. However, I think I preferred Cutthroat, not least due to its more consistent tone. Black always wants to seem both hard-edged and jokey; he doesn’t get it right here, leaving each side pointing a finger at the other, in accusatory fashion.

Both Jackson and Harlin speak fondly of the film. Jackson calls Long Kiss the favorite of his own films to watch, and Harlin agrees. Despite the initially underwhelming return, its cult status has helped to feed discussion of a sequel over the years, though Davis – long divorced from Harlin – would not be involved. The director said it would be about Jackson’s character crossing paths with an adult version of Davis’s daughter. Harlin now lives in China, where the film is apparently well-regarded and said that “Several people, producers and financiers, here in China have talked to me about doing either a Chinese remake or doing an English-language sequel.” As of June 2021, he still wants to make a second part.

Will it ever happen? Only time will tell, though given how long since the original movie, it seems doubtful. But we’ll always have that, and the moderate yet violent delights of Geena Davis as a home-maker turned lethal operative.

Dir: Renny Harlin
Star: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Malahide, Craig Bierko

The universe of Appleseed

While Ghost in the Shell is Masamune Shirow’s best known work – one which we’ve written about previously – it’s far from his only one. There’s Black Magic, adapted into the anime Black Magic M-66. Dominion – the adorable story of a girl and her… er, tank. Then there’s Galgrease, about which I must firmly state, I know absolutely nothing. I’m sure it’s not exactly what it sounds like. Not at all… But second to Ghost in terms of popularity is Appleseed, which has spawned almost as many spin-offs: an original video animation, three feature films, a 13-episode TV series, and two video games. Though not, as yet, a mediocre live-action adaptation.

Appleseed was Shirow’s first “professional” work, coming out after Black Magic had brought him to the attention of Harumichi Aoki, head of the Seishinsha publishers. The story began appearing in February 1985. Unusually, rather than being serialized, it was released directly to paperback, but was a critical and commercial success, winning the 1986 Seiun Award for Best Manga. Three further volumes followed over the next four years; a fifth was initially serialized in Comic Gaia, but remains incomplete, thirty years after it was started. Shirow says Appleseed didn’t suit the structure imposed by the serial format.

Compared to Ghost in the Shell, I think Appleseed is a bit more approachable. While there are still nods to the topic, it doesn’t seem to lean quite so heavily on existential debate about the nature of self, especially with regard to the central character. Deunan is considerably more “human” than Motoko Kusanagi, and even though her partner, Briareos, is heavily enhanced, there are no real questions about his humanity. The issues are more around the bioroids. These are artificial humans, created with deliberately suppressed emotions, a limited lifespan (like the replicants in Blade Runner), and no ability to have children. Intended to serve humans, by acting as a restraint on our less appealing traits, their status and nature are a hot-button topic in the society here, with strong opinions on both sides.

It’s this tension which tends to drive the plot in a lot of the adaptations. For example, some terrorist groups are opposed to the bioroids’ existence on basic principle, fearing they will replace humanity. Conversely, others are working towards that very end, with an equal passion and lack of aversion to violence. Interestingly, each adaptation has been different from the one before. They each apply their own spin to the characters and topics; there’s not much that’s truly “canon” about, for example, the origins of Deunan and Briareos. In the original manga, they were officers in a SWAT team from Los Angeles, but that isn’t always necessarily the case.

But there are generally elements in common. They take place after a devastating (though fortunately, non-nuclear) war has torn civilization apart. Hope of a better future, however, lies in the shape of utopian city Olympus, which has risen from the ashes. There, the bioroids mentioned above (and which I keep wanting to call “bioDroids”!) keep things running smoothly, in a paradise compared to the war-torn remains of life outside its walls. However, as we’ll see, there’s no such thing as a paradise… Or, at least, opinions on what that should be, differ radically.

Over the first week in June, we’ll be looking at each of the adaptations of Shirow’s manga, from the 1988 OAV, Appleseed, through to the 2014 version, Appleseed Alpha. As they’re published, the reviews will also be collected below. But first, take some time to look at a few example of Shirow’s amazing artwork, which is every bit as luscious now, as it was when it was first published.


Appleseed (1988)

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“Apples to oranges”

This feels like one of the first anime releases to get an official release in the West, and to be honest, the animation in particular is showing its age. It couldn’t be much more eighties, if the heroine had big hair and wore legwarmers while listening to her Sony Walkman. That said, when you get used to the relatively simple style, it’s decent enough. We are introduced to the post-WW3 world and in particular, the city of Olympus, which was designed to be a utopian environment for survivors. However, like all utopias, it failed to take into account human nature. In particular, some are very concerned by the prevalence of biodroids. These artificial creations were intended to be humanity’s servants, yet for their opponents, feel increasingly more like our masters.

In that camp is terrorist A.J. Sebastian, who is working with a disgruntled Olympus police officer, Charon Mautholos (Furukawa) to bring about the collapse of Olympus and its all-powerful computer, Gaia. Against them stand the Olympus anti-terrorist forces, in particular Deunan Knute (Katsuki) and Briareos Hecatonchires (Sakaguchi). They are refugees from the blasted hellscape which forms much of the world, who were taken in to Olympus, and became part of its police force. Already bearing a grudge against Sebastian for his killing of a colleague during a hostage situation, they are not unhappy to be tasked with his extra-judicial killing by Olympus’s leader, the bioroid Athena Areios (Sawada). But with the help of Charon, Sebastian is one step ahead of the authorities.

As shown in the video below (you’re welcome!), the original release of the anime did have its fair share of bumpy moments. Several signs clearly refer to the city as “Olumpus”, which doesn’t quite sounds like the home of the gods! Similarly Charon is referred to as “Karen” in the subtitles, which has a rather different set of associations in 2021, never mind the gender confusion it caused. Finally, Briareos is called Buliaros: I guess they were still settling down in terms of his Western name. It’s also surprisingly low-key in terms of action. Once you get past the hostage rescue mentioned above, it’s really Sebastian and Charon that are responsible for much more of the mayhem than Deunan and Briareos.

I did like the characters here though. It’s clear the heroine and hero have an easy-going relationship, trusting each other implicitly. Yet the script still finds the time to give Charon a back-story which makes his action understandable in the circumstances. Sebastian, not so much, however; he’s just a villain. The world-building is generally solid, though I would like to have learned more about life outside Olympus, to provide some contrast. The soundtrack – something I remember as a highlight of many films and series of the time – is utterly forgettable. It’s no Bubblegum Crisis, that’s for sure, and is even further below Ghost in the Shell. Overall though, allowing for its age, it did keep me entertained; truth be told, considerably more  than I feared it might.

Dir: Kazuyoshi Katayama
Star: Masako Katsuki, Yoshisada Sakaguchi, Toshiko Sawada, Toshio Furukawa

Appleseed (2004)

By Jim McLennan

★★½
“Weak at its core.”

This is obviously technically superior to its 1988 predecessor, with CGI done in a way that the people, in particular, look like cel animation. I suspect that being a theatrical release, rather than a original video animation, gave it a significantly larger budget, and it hits the ground running. The opening sequence is a bravura use of all the tricks in the CGI locker: swoops, zooms and majestic camera movements round a half-destroyed cityscape. Deunan (Kobayashi) fends off a host of enemies, but ends up being knocked unconscious, and taken to the utopian city of Olympus. There, she’s reunited with Briareos (Kosugi), and becomes part of the ESWAT team. But not everything is idyllic in Olympus, which is populated about equally by humans and vat-grown biodroids, who administer the city and keep humanity’s emotions and violent tendencies in check.

In particular, there are tensions between the administration of biodroid Athena Areios (Koyama), and the army under General Uranus. The latter are fiercely opposed to biodroids, and a faction take action, destroying the facilities which extend biodroid lifespans. They want to realise the “doomsday device” which will wipe out all biodroids. But a group in the administration want to activate biodroid reproductive abilities – this is the “Appleseed” of the franchise title. They need Deunan’s help in this; her mother created the biodroids and her DNA is in them. But the question of who actually has humanity’s best interests at heart, is considerably more murky than it initially appears.

There’s a lot of plot going on here, as the above would appear to make apparent [tip: the more often a society describes itself as “utopian”, the less likely it is to be so]. The problem for me was, it seemed as if the makers all but forgot about the characters. For all the technical wizardry on view, the 1988 film achieved a significantly higher degree of emotional resonance. I don’t think it’s a particular result of the voice acting. I suspect it’s just that the creators constructed this world, and all these groups operating within it, leaving little time in the script to develop Deunan as a character. She feels less like a person than a walking collection of plot elements. There’s also very little depth to the relationship between her and Briareos, which is among the most enjoyable elements in other versions. 

Unfortunately for the sake of my headline, I can’t honestly describe this as “rotten.” But it definitely did not manage to sustain my interest consitently. Since I was watching it in Japanese, I did have to pay a certain amount of attention, since I couldn’t just listen to it. This was particularly during the gobbets of exposition provided by the Council of Elders, a group of old men who debate with supercomputer Gaia about how to run Olympus. However, it was definitely at the bare minimum level for a significant chunk of the running time. After the spectacular opening, it felt like it was largely downhill for the rest of the way, with the usual superweapon finale only somewhat able to rescue things.

Dir: Shinji Aramaki
Star (voice): Ai Kobayashi, Jûrôta Kosugi, Yuki Matsuoka, Mami Koyama

Appleseed Ex Machina

By Jim McLennan

★★★½
“The Deunan wears Prada.”

I think this is probably my favourite of the various incarnations of Appleseed. It may not be the best characterization, the best animation, or the best plot. But I think in overall terms, the combination is the most successful. In all the others, you can typically point to one of those three areas as being at least somewhat deficient. Here, if none are outstanding, they’re all solid and competent. It may help that legendary Hong Kong director John Woo was one of the producers. If you didn’t know that, you could probably tell from the early scene in which Briareos crashes through a church’s stained-glass window, a gun blazing in each hand. “All that needs is some white doves in slow-mo,” I thought. And, lo, later on, the birds in question do appear – and are even necessary to the plot, which is probably more than Woo managed!

The story here begins with the latest in a series of terrorist attacks, carried out by cyborgs. It turns out they are not acting of their own free will, but are being “puppet mastered” into their actions. Worse, the human residents of Olympus now appear to be joining in, baffling Deunan (Kobayashio) and her colleagues in ESWAT. Viewers, however, will likely be quicker to figure out the cause there, given the rather obvious mentions of a hot new piece of wearable technology called Connexus, which simply everyone who is anyone is now sporting. Meanwhile, a new kind of soldier biodroid is being developed, basied on Briareos (Yamadera), designed to possess the talents of humans or cyborgs, but without the negative traits. After Briareos is injured, Deunan is partnered up with one, Tereus (Kishi). This freaks her out, because he looks just like Briareos, before his cybernetic upgrades. Meanwhile, Olympus leader Athena (Takashima) seeks to leverage the terrorist attacks to gain support for her plan to create a worldwide security network.

There’s a lot going here, yet the script manages to keep the elements clear and moving forward without confusion. There’s a sweet spot in SF between the simplistic and the over-complex, and this hit it better than most. The animation is a tad short, however. Weirdly, what stood out as defective was the hair, which didn’t move in the way it should. Either that, or I guess, after the apocalypse, hair lacquer is not in short supply. In general though, the technical aspects were competent enough and occasionally better than that. Perhaps due to Woo’s involvement, it feels a perfect candidate for a live-action adaptation, though the budget would need to be well into nine figures. I’d go with Ruby Rose as Deunan and Dave Bautista as Briareos. Change my mind. :)  Oh, and the tagline? Yeah, some of Deunan’s outfits in the film were indeed designed by Miuccia Prada. She has been running the family’s clothing company since 1978, and was a fan of the previous film. A very well-dressed action heroine indeed…

Dir: Shinji Aramaki
Star (voice):  Ai Kobayashi, Kōichi Yamadera, Gara Takashima, Yūji Kishi

Appleseed XIII: Tartaros and Ouranos

By Jim McLennan

★½
“A Herculean labour to get through”

These two features, Tartaros and Ouranos, are an edited-down version of the Appleseed XIII series. This consisted of 13 episodes, each 22 minutes long, with their release beginning in June 2011 and running through the following January. Obviously, if you do the math, you can see that some fairly harsh scissoring was needed to get that down to a pair of 85-minute films. It also loses the obviously episodic nature, with some of the parts intended to be stand-alone. But, if I’m blunt, I think the problems here are considerably more intrinsic. By the end, I was glad I had decided to go with this version; the prospect of sitting through the longer version had little or no appeal at all.

The most obvious problem was the animation style, which managed to combine the worst features of both CGI and traditional animation. The end result is something which looks flat-out ugly, and thus a far cry from creator Masamune Shirow’s original art. For what I can only presume was good reason, the producers decided to have 13 different animation studios handle things, each doing one episode. While they were all clearly working from the same source material, it’s obvious that they were not all equally competent. Especially when compiled together, the decent bits simply make the bad look all the worse; it would probably have been better had it all been bad. As the original 1998 OAV showed, your eyes can get use to limited animation eventually – providing it isn’t frequently been shown anything else.

The other issue is a story which felt, at best, like another warmed-over rehash of previous elements. Oh, look: pro-human terrorists are threatening the peace of Olympus. Yes, again. It also drops in weird elements which made no sense. Did you know Deunan’s mother was African, and was killed while walking across a street reserved for white people? Briareos is also African. I’m not quite sure what woke point writer Junichi Fujisaku was seeking to make with this, also a sharp deviation from Shirow’s material. But it’s so badly-handed as to actively subtract from proceedings, and has aged very poorly over the decade since. A lot of the content is “inspired by” Greek mythology, in particular the 12 Labours of Hercules, to the point it feels on occasion like a SF episode of The Legendary Journeys.

The overall story arc mostly concerns Olympus’s “Ark Project”, which is intended to secure a future for humanity, but is being opposed by the Human Liberation Front, and in particular Deia Chades. There’s also a clash between Olympus and another city-state, Poseidon, which confused the heck out of me, as in the previous version, Poseidon appeared to be a multinational conglomerate. Whatevs. To be honest, it would have been a bit of an improvement if I could have brought myself to care about this, or anything else presented here. Instead, I found myself largely uninterested in the watered-down version of Deunan which we got here – someone who seemed more concerned about getting in touch with her feelings than with kicking ass.

Dir: Takayuki Hamana
Star (voice): Maaya Sakamoto, Kōichi Yamadera, Mikako Takahashi, Hiro Shimono

Appleseed Alpha

By Jim McLennan

★★★½
“Before the war”

Though the most recent story told in the Appleseed universe, at the time of writing, this was the first to take place. It’s set before Deunan (Christian) and Briareos (Matranga) arrived in Olympus, back when they were still struggling to survive in the harsh world of the 22nd century, created by World War III. They are a pair of former soldiers, operating in New York, doing jobs of questionable legality for boss of the Big Apple’s underworld, Two Horns (Calvert). Their latest mission is to clear an area of automated drones, which now attack anyone who enter. While doing so, they rescue Iris (Palencia) and Olson, who are being pursued by Talos. He’s a cyborg, who needs Iris in particular to access and control a land battleship, which he’ll use to destroy New York, because… Uh, I’m sure he has his reasons. They’re just not very clearly explained in this installment.

That’s one of the few mis-steps in this, even if it does kinda rewrite established franchise history about how Deunan and Briareos got to Olympus. It’s a wonderful glimpse into a blasted world, with New York eerily short on people, and far from the bustling metropolis it was, pre-war. Oddly, the subway still seems to function, as we see in the opening scene, when D+B are attempting to complete one of Two Horns’s jobs, delivering a vaccine to him. Let’s just say, this particular subway line may be experiencing delays for a bit. I actually watched this back-to-back with the original 1998 film, and there’s a drastic contrast in style, with the CGI here slick and generally showing impressive detail. There are some jarring exceptions; a car flipping over looks like no effort went into it at all. But the finale involving the land battleship is undeniably spectacular, and may be good enough to make you forget the earlier glitches. Always good to finish on a high, and this certainly does.

Its plot is not dissimilar to the original 1988 version, with a young girl the key to a terrorist acquiring a weapon of mass destruction. The main difference is that D+B are operating as independent contractors, rather than state-sponsored security. This probably makes their actions more heroic; they could simply have walked away from Iris and Olson, as not their problem. But perhaps the most interesting character arc belongs to Two Horns, who goes from employer to enemy, before eventually riding to the rescue after discovering, first-hand, how much of a bastard Talos and his sidekick, Nyx, can be. I must admit though, to finding Deunan’s costume a tad distracting, since it appears to be designed largely to draw attention to her beautifully detailed, CGI cleavage. While I’m not typically going to complain about that kind of thing, the rest of the film is rather too classy for this to be needed.

Dir: Shinji Aramaki
Star (voice): Luci Christian, David Matranga, Wendel Calvert, Brina Palencia
[While it seems odd, I believe the English language version is actually the original,  with the Japanese being the “dub” in this case]

2021 in Action Heroine Films

Welp. I usually enjoy writing this article, looking forward to what action heroines we might get in the coming year. But after the past 12 months, you’ll understand if I’m a little gun shy – or, more accurately, girls-with-guns shy. Looking back at our 2020 preview, it seems like a document from a different universe. There were three “tentpole” action heroine films scheduled: one (Black Widow) was pushed back by more than a year; another (Mulan) skipped cinemas entirely in North America; while the third (Wonder Woman 1984) received a mere token release. This left Birds of Prey, with a worldwide gross of barely $200 million, as far and away the year’s top title. I did not see that coming.

It wasn’t a great year. The films mentioned above all had their various issues, as did Enola Holmes, The Rhythm Section and Underwater, while Gretel and Hansel failed to qualify here. The Serpent vanished without trace, and Run Hide Fight is MIA. Others followed Black Widow in being held back entirely, and we’ll get to those in due course. [By which I may well mean. “copy-paste their entry from 2020”] All told, the three best films released in North America last year weren’t mentioned in the preview: A Good Woman is Hard to Find, Guns Akimbo and The Hunt. There are still a couple I have yet to see – Monster Hunter and Promising Young Woman – but The Hunt was probably my favourite GWG film of 2020. I did not see that coming either.

Anyway, this train-wreck of a year has, obviously, derailed film production for a large part, and that simply means there are not as many entries available to preview. Quite what this will mean for 2021, remains to be seen, but I’m just glad I’ve got a backlog of reviews (we’re currently scheduling into June), as there may be a shortage of relevant product. That said, I’ve gone through the upcoming schedule of films listed in the IMDb as having a 2021 release date and which may end up getting reviewed here. As usual, everything is subject to change. Particularly if another global pandemic sweeps out of the wet markets in the Far East…

The Asset (23 April)

I found two rather conflicting synopses. #1: ” A hacker and her partners in crime accidentally steal millions from a crime boss, forced into hiding to train for their inevitable confrontation.” #2: “Two of the world’s best assassins, Rembrandt and Anna, must form an unlikely alliance when Anna’s mentor is murdered. They travel to Vietnam to find the killer.” Your choice. :) Given that Maggie Q is Anna (Michael Keaton is Rembrandt), and it’s directed by Martin Campbell, of Goldeneye, I am interested.

Black Widow (7 May)

Pushed back more than a year from its original release date, this is still likely to be the largest action-heroine film of the year – providing there are any cinemas left in which to show it. Obviously, any momentum for the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been halted; it’ll be close to two years since the last entry was released, Spider-Man: Far From Home. Having also been underwhelmed by this year’s “tent-poles”, my enthusiasm is probably toned down, to the point I may not bother seeing this in the cinema. This is, to an extent, because I’m simply out of the habit.

Gunpowder Milkshake (TBA)

Certainly possessing the best action-heroine cast of 2020 2021. Karen Gillan, Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh, Lena Headey and Angela Bassett? Okay, you have my attention. A year has passed, and still not much more is known about this one. It got a distributor in February, but ten months later, we still don’t even have a trailer, even though the film’s entire worldwide rights have been sold. We do, at least have a synopsis: Sam (Gillan) was raised by crime syndicate The Firm, but eventually has to go against them, with the help of her mother (Headey), and friends known as The Librarians (Bassett, Yeoh and Gugino, pictured top).

Jolt (TBA)

I’ll just leave this synopsis here. “A bouncer with a slightly murderous anger-management problem that she controls with the help of an electrode-lined vest she uses to shock herself back to normalcy whenever she gets homicidal. After the first guy she’s ever fallen for is murdered, she goes on a revenge-fueled rampage to find the killer while the cops pursue her as their chief suspect.” Okay… Seems like Crank with a heroine, but since the heroine is Kate Beckinsale, I’m down.

The Matrix 4 (22 December)

Amazing to think it’s seventeen years ago we wrote Wholly Trinity, about the role of Trinity in The Matrix trilogy. Since then? Well, Keanu Reeves is now John Wick, Carrie-Anne Moss is 53, and the Wachowski brothers… aren’t. To be honest, the Wachowski’s post-Matrix work has been lacklustre; Speed Racer, for example, is flat-out unwatchable. I suspect Lana Wachowski (Lilly is not involved) will need to be as innovative as the original movie was, if this is to succeed. We’ll see if that’s the case, though since this is currently scheduled to be released on HBO Max.

Mayday (TBA)

A borderline candidate, which IMDb currently has filed under “Drama”. However, the synopsis makes it seem potentially of interest. “After a short circuit at her workplace mysteriously transports her to an alternate world, Ana meets a crew of female soldiers caught in an endless war. Along a strange and rugged coastline, men face the stark truth lurking behind damsels who appear to be in distress. Under the leadership of Marsha, Ana trains as a sharpshooter and discovers a newfound freedom in this uninhibited sisterhood. She soon senses she may not be the ruthless killer they expect, though, and time is running out for her to find a path home..”

Raya and the Last Dragon (5 March)

An animated film by Disney, here’s the plot: “Long ago, in the fantasy world of Kumandra, humans and dragons lived together in harmony. But when an evil force threatened the land, the dragons sacrificed themselves to save humanity. Now, 500 years later, that same evil has returned and it’s up to a lone warrior, Raya, to track down the legendary last dragon to restore the fractured land and its divided people.” Kelly Marie Tran, who played Rose Tico in the Star Wars franchise, voices Raya. The trailer makes it look kinda fun; weirdly, it gives me an Aeon Flux vibe!

Resident Evil (TBA)

A reboot of the iconic franchise starring Milla Jovovich, there’s no details of the plot, but I suspect it will probably hew closer to the video games. The changes made i.e. Alice wasn’t a game character, was the most common complaint about the earlier movies by fans. But even without Milla, I still expect there to be plenty of female bad-assery here, with Kaya Scodelario as Claire Redfield, and Hannah John-Kamen playing Jill Valentine. We’ll see where the balance landed between between them and male characters like Chris Redfield and Leon Kennedy.

Run Hide Fight (TBA)

“17-year-old Zoe Hull uses her wits, survival skills, and compassion to fight for her life, and those of her fellow classmates, against a group of live-streaming school shooters.” Was screened in September at the Venice International Film Festival, and reviews were… not kind, though appeared largely informed by the viewer’s personal politics, reaching their nadir in this hysterically triggered entity. Teens killing teens has been a problematic topic for movie since Battle Royale, and it clearly doesn’t appear that has changed. Someone will release it, I’ve no doubt, but I suspect it won’t be theatrical.

Shadow in the Cloud (1 January)

I hadn’t even heard of this one until Dieter mentioned it to me. It stars Chloe Grace Moretz as a female WWII pilot, who is travelling with top secret documents on a B-17 Flying Fortress, when she discovers that the “gremlins” mentioned in propaganda films are thoroughly real. The trailer’s below, and it looks… Well, check out the scene where she falls out of the plane and then gets blown back into it by an explosion. I’m not sure whether to snort derisively, or be in awe at the maker’s sheer audacity. Either way, it certainly seems to be starting 2021 with a bang!

Till Death (TBA)

Megan Fox seems to be leaning towards the action genre of late – we recently wrote about her playing a mercenary in Rogue. This is perhaps a bit more plausible, but going by the blood-spattered Megan still, maybe not much less violent! She plays a woman who is “left handcuffed to her dead husband as part of a sick revenge plot. Unable to unshackle, she has to survive as two killers arrive to finish her off.” There would certainly seem to be plenty of potential for carnage here.

Zombinatrix (TBA)

From the potentially sublime to the utterly ridiculous (hopefully, deliberately). The synopsis, as submitted to the IMDB by lead actress and co-writer Bianca Allaine: “A Dominatrix is brutally murdered by thugs. Returning from the grave as Zombinatrix, she takes great pleasure in incorporating her sadistic S&M kinks into killing anyone crossing her path. After all, she is into whips and BRAINS.” If it isn’t getting Oscar consideration this time next year, I say we storm Hollywood. :)

Girls With Guns Calendars 2021

Welcome to our eleventh annual round-up of girls with guns calendars. This one almost slipped my mind until I suddenly realized it was November 30! Still, given the all-round awfulness of the year, what better way to pass the time, then to look forward to 2021? The sooner it gets here, the better, I’d say… We do bid farewell to one of the icons of the genre, with Hot Shots having retired after their 2020 edition – maybe they knew what was coming this year! And sadly, it seems the pandemic and resulting shutdown has taken its toll, with definitely a smaller number available this time round.  Still, below, you’ll find prices (generally excluding shipping), sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more if we see them, feel free to email us if you know of any others

TAC GIRLS

TacGirls.com – $18.95

“The Tactical Girls® 2021 Bikini Gun Calendar is our Best of the Best Edition, with 13 months of the best photos from our 13 year history. Many of these shots were originally our cover photos or hugely popular fan favorites. For example, June 2021 is our 2010 cover model, Erin Banks with an M249 SAW, Vanessa Swainston, the 2013 cover with an Surgeon .338LM is January 2022 and our cover is Robin Raider from October 2019 with a DRD Paratus with a shoutout to the Marines. Every 2021 Best of the Best Tactical Girls Calendar comes with a 12X24 mini Poster insert with the cover girl Robin Raider on the front and a collection of other great shots on the reverse. It slides out of the calendar, no tearing or staples to pull. The remaining memorable shots bring you 13 months the best photos with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. The 2021 Tactical Girls Calendar Best of the Best Calendar includes the KRISS Vector SMG, the Cadex CDX-30 Guardian Precision Rifle and the Kel-Tec KSG Tactical Short bullpup Shotgun. All of these, along with a variety of carbines, battle rifles, machine guns, pistols and sniper rifles, all with gorgeous models in realistic settings.”

LIBERTY BELLES

LibertyBellesUSA.com – $14.49

:It’s the year 1777 and King George III has lost control of his naughty children. Even Captain America’s ass can’t compare to these Belles of the Revolution.  Get ready for another year as they pose for liberty and the right to bear arms, shoulders, and legs. Each month, the ladies portray important female figures (both famous and obscure) who nonetheless fought along side the men during the war that birthed our nation. The designs for this 2021 calendar is inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Alminac.” It features a Lunar calendar, a measurement tool on the side, and a bit of important wisdom from our second president & founder, John Adams, and —of course as always— girls with firearms.  This calendar also showcases the dates for some of the most infamous battles of the revolution. Only Federally observed  holidays are included in this calendar. The calendar also includes a 12″ x 18″ centerfold pull out poster.”

GUNS AND GIRLS

GunsAndGirlsCalendar.com – available through Amazon, $13.92

The website doesn’t seem to have been updated, but there does appear to be a new edition of this one available. Though maybe “Guns N Girls” is different from ‘Guns % Girls”? “The 2021 GUNS AND GIRLS wall calendar is packed with beautiful pin up models and many of today’s most popular weapons, everything from handguns to AR15s. This 16 month large format calendar is 17″x 28″ when hung up and a perfect gift for any Armed Service Member, Police Officer or Shooting Enthusiast. Also includes a bonus 12 month poster inside giving you two calendars in one package!”

ZAHAL GIRLS

zahal.org – $25.90

“We are proud to present our new ZAHAL Girls Calendar which combines the best of both sexy models and the tactical gear world. No gun bunnies! Only IDF veterans. Size is Approx A3. No gun bunnies! Only IDF veterans.”

WEAPON OUTFITTERS

WeaponOutfitters.com

In a cunning marketing plot, this one is available in two versions. Safe For Work ($19,95): “The safe for work version, features classic Weapon Outfitters landscape and portrait photography with a variety of models. Featuring:  Alex Zedra, fan-favorite Eva, Silvia Kitsune, KC, with special appearances from the Tacticats, Vanellope Von Floof, and more!”

Not Safe For Work ($29.95): “Twelve months of Weapon Outfitters After Dark (WOAD) spice! Not compliant with HR departments, nor endorsed by jealous girlfriends and wives. Featuring a published models including but not limited to: Casey, Calypso, Tabi, and Aurora! The 2021 NSFW calendar is a mix of studio and landscape photography. ”

DILLON PRECISION

DillonPrecision.com – $14.99

“The Dillon Precision 2020 Calendar is in stock and ready for your reloading room, office, or wherever you want to display the World’s Finest Models and Firearms.”

ALPHA GUN ANGELS

aga-guns.com – $14.99

“The traditional “Alpha Gun Angels” Calendar has arrived! This time we took our Calendar’s photםshoot to the next level! We gathered our BADASS squad to a crazy photoshoot in a CHOPPER! Every month will feature one of our GORGEOUS and BADASS girls with our sponsored products!”

WILD DAKOTA GIRLS

wilddakotagirls.com – $14.95

Not strictly a GWG calendar, but I think there’s enough overlap – as well as going by the pic of the bonus poster below – that it may be of interest. :) This is a fairly long-running charity effort, with the proceeds going to fight breast cancer since 2017.

Annie Oakley: the first girl with a gun?

“I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns, as naturally as they know how to handle babies.”

This article was largely inspired by the grainy,  less than thirty second film clip above. It shows Wild West heroine Annie Oakley in action, filmed by none other than Thomas Edison on November 1, 1894 in his ‘Black Maria’ facility, one of the earliest films made at the world’s first film production studio. It’s weird to watch something made by one icon of American culture, and featuring another. It feels like seeing a photograph of Robin Hood, taken by Leonardo da Vinci, and is a reminder that Annie Oakley was a real person, not a mythical creation of Hollywood or the dime novelists. While the title here may be hyperbolic – obviously, there were other women to have picked up firearms before her – she was likely the first to achieve worldwide fame through her skill with a gun. As such, she certainly deserves a place in the action heroine Hall of Fame.

Born Phoebe Ann Mosey in 1860, she seems to have had a pretty crappy childhood. Her father died when she was five, and Annie became a ward of Darke County, Ohio, in 1870. From there, she was fostered out to a family, who apparently treated her as little more than a slave. She ran away from them a couple of years later, eventually returning to live with her mother, who had remarried, at age 15. But by this point, she was already well-versed in guns, having been hunting with them since she was eight. Her skill with them gradually became known through the region, and led to the shooting match against Frank Butler which propelled her towards greater fame, and a career as a professional markswoman.

There’s some uncertainty about when this took place. Some sources say 1875, while others prefer 1881. The details seem fairly well-established. Frank Butler, part of a travelling show, visited Cincinnati, and laid a bet with a local hotel owner that he could beat any local shooter. The hotelier brought in Annie as his champion, and she won, when Butler missed his 25th shot. He may have lost the wager, but he didn’t come away empty-handed, as Butler married Annie in 1882. They began performing together, with Annie taking the stage name of Oakley, and three years later the married couple both became part of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West production [it never included the word “show” in its title], which had begun touring America in 1883.

Performances typically opened with a parade of horse and riders from many nations, including the military and Indians. It proceeded through a series of re-enactments, such as of the Pony Express or an attack on a wagon train, and also included displays of skills related to life on the frontier, including trick riding, roping and marksmanship.  While Oakley was the best-known woman to take part in the shows, she wasn’t the only one. In 1886, another trick shooter, Lillian Smith, also joined Buffalo Bill while still a teenager, and by most accounts, there was a fractious relationship between the two, with them having markedly different personalities and styles. Another Western icon, Calamity Jane, began appearing as a storyteller in 1893. Records indicate that Buffalo Bill paid the women the same as their male equivalents, though Oakley earned more than anyone save Bill himself.

It was as part of his show that Oakley’s fame achieved its peak, and not just in the United States. She was part of the company which toured Europe on multiple occasions from 1887 on, performing for many of the fabled “crowned heads of Europe,” including Queen Victoria and King Umberto I of Italy. In 1890, she reportedly used Germany’s Kaiser Friedrich Wilhelm II as an assistant for one of her stunts, shooting the end off a cigar he held, a trick she usually performed on her husband. Europe might have been rather different, if Annie’s skills had not been up to the task. For Kaiser Wilhem was one of the more aggressive leaders whose subsequent actions helped trigger World War I, making Oakley’s prowess very much one of the “what if” moments in the continent’s history.

Her other stunts, if perhaps slightly less risky to the target, were little if any less impressive. She could find her target while facing away from it, sighting her gun backwards over her shoulder, using a mirror (left), or even the blade of a knife. She could also hit the edge of a playing card at thirty paces, or dimes tossed in the air. Her partner could throw four glass balls up, while Annie wasn’t even holding her rifle. Before they landed, she could pick up the gun and shoot them down. But in 1901, she was injured in a train accident, which left her needing multiple operations on her spine. The after-effects forced her into retiring from Bill’s company, though she still performed, starring in a stage play written especially for her by Langdon McCormick, The Western Girl. In it, her character Nance Barry saves the hero and wins his heart. It couldn’t possibly be any other way.

Annie’s life was hardly less interesting after her time with Buffalo Bill. In 1904, she took on press magnate Randolph Hearst, after two of his Chicago newspapers published a story headlined, “Famous Woman Crack Shot Steals to Secure Cocaine.” Turns out, the criminal was actually a burlesque performer who used the stage name “Any Oakley”. Hearst refused to retract the story, so Oakley ended up suing no less than 55 newspapers for libel, over the next six years. She won all but one of the cases, though the legal fees involved meant she ended up losing money, as she redeemed her good name.

She was far ahead of her time on the topic of women in combat. In April 1898, with the Spanish-American war about to break out, she wrote to the then-President, William McKinley, as follows:

Dear Sir, I for one feel confident that your good judgment will carry America safely through without war. But in case of such an event I am ready to place a company of fifty lady sharpshooters at your disposal. Every one of them will be an American and as they will furnish their own Arms and Ammunition will be little if any expense to the government.

Her offer was, sadly, declined, despite the clearly positive economics. In terms of sharp-shooting, it would have been very interesting to see what Oakley might have done in a war situation. I like to think she might have surpassed sniper Lyudmila Pavlichenko’s mark of 309 victims from World War II. Certainly, her skills didn’t desert Annie with age. At the age of 62, in a North Carolina shooting contest, she hit 100 clay targets in a row from a distance of 16 yards. As the photograph (right) shows, she was clearly still enjoying the sport well into her sunset year.

However, she died of pernicious anemia in 1926, at the age of 66. Her husband, Frank Butler passed away just 18 days later, with some reports saying he simply stopped eating after her death, apparently losing the will to live. But what Oakley represents lives on, not least in a host of books, movies and TV series in which she appeared, portrayed by actresses from Barbara Stanwyck to Geraldine Chaplin and Jamie Lee Curtis. The cultural fascination for her endures. In 2012, an auction of items owned by Oakley brought in over half a million dollars: a shotgun used on the 1887 European tour went for $143,400 and even her stetson hat reached $17,925.

Annie arguably stands as the first woman to make a career as a professional action heroine. Her legend will survive – and deservedly so.


 

Annie Oakley (film)

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“Annie Gets Her Gun.”

While not exactly an accurate retelling of the life of noted sure-shot Annie Oakley, this is breezily entertaining. Indeed, you can make a case for this being one of the earliest “girls with guns” films to come out in the talking pictures era. There’s no denying Oakley (Stanwyck) qualifies here. The first time we see her, she’d delivering a load of game birds – all shot through the head to avoid damaging the flesh – to her wholesaler. When barnstorming sharpshooter Toby Walker (Foster) blows into town, Annie ends up in a match with him, which she ends up throwing, due in part to her crush on him. She still gets a job alongside Walker, in the Wild West show run by the renowned ‘Buffalo Bill’ Cody (Olsen) and his partner, Jeff Hogarth (Douglas). But Annie and Toby’s relationship fractures after he accidentally shoots her in the hand, while concealing an injury affecting his sight.

This hits the ground running, and roughly the first third plays decades ahead of its time. Don’t forget, this was made only fifteen years after women were granted the right to vote across the entire United States. Its depiction of a strong, perfectly independent woman as personified by Stanwyck is great – there’s also Walker’s former “friend,” Vera Delmar (Perl Kelton). When sternly warned the saloon she’s about to enter is no place for a lady, she breezily replies, “Oh, I’m no lady.” I’m quite impressed this was able to get through, given the rigid imposition of the strict Hays Code, beginning the previous year, with its goal “that vulgarity and suggestiveness may be eliminated.”

Almost inevitably, it can’t maintain this pace. There’s too much footage of the Wild West Show, which seems to consist largely of people on horses milling around the arena. I guess people were easily satisfied in those days. Meanwhile, the romance between Oakley and Walker (an entirely artificial construction, with Walker never existing as an actual person), fails to be convincing. Somewhat more interesting is the portrayal of Chief Sitting Bull, the Native American warrior who also became part of Wild Bill’s show. While depicted largely for comic relief – witness the scene where he turns out the gas lights in his bedroom by shooting at them – he is played by a genuine Indian, Chief Thunder Bird, which is considerably more progressive than some movies. He is also instrumental in Annie and Toby’s reconciliation.

Stanwyck does an excellent job of depicting the heroine, portraying her as someone absolutely confident in her own talents. I’d like to have seen more development of her character: as is, the one we see delivering quail at the start of the film, is almost identical to the one we see making up with Toby in its final shot. Sadly, the subject didn’t live to see her life immortalized in film, having died nine years before this was released. I think she’d probably have been quite pleased with her depiction.

Dir: George Stevens
Star: Barbara Stanwyck, Preston Foster, Melvyn Douglas, Moroni Olsen

Annie Oakley of the Wild West, by Walter Havighurst

By Jim McLennan

★★
“An appetiser rather than a main course, that diverts from the topic far too often.”

Annie Oakley was one of the earliest “girls with guns”. In her role as a sharpshooter, performing with the likes of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show, she travelled the globe, appearing in front of Presidents, Kings and Emperors. She shot a cigarette held by the future Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany (accuracy later deplored by American newspapers, after the nations went to war in 1917). At 90 feet, she could shoot a dime tossed in midair, or hit the edge of a playing card, then add five or six more holes as it fluttered to the ground. In seventeen years and 170,000 miles of travel, she only missed four shows, and even in her sixties, could still take down a hundred clay pigeons in a row.

So why is this book unsatisfactory? Largely because much of it isn’t actually about her. Originally written in 1954, Havighurst uses Oakley as a key to write about…well, everything else connected to her, and you’ll find half a dozen pages passing without any mention of its supposed subject. The author goes off the track with alarming frequency: Buffalo Bill, a.k.a. William Cody, is the main beneficiary, and someone unschooled in the topic will learn almost as much about him as Oakley. There are some effective moments, particularly when Havighurst depicting the loving relationship between Annie and her husband, Frank Butler, whom she met while outshooting him in Cincinnati. Married for over fifty years, they died less than three weeks apart. But such passages are few and far between; the actual Oakley-related content of the book is disappointing, though I’m now keen to track down a better work on the topic.

By: Walter Havighurst
Publisher: Castle Books [$8.98 from HalfPrice Books]

Annie Oakley (TV series)

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“One of the first TV action heroines; for 50 years old, better than you might expect.”

This TV series was Gene Autry’s idea; he wanted to give little girls a western star of their own, and created a show based on the character of Oakley, the most famous sharpshooter of all time. In his version, she lives in Diablo with her brother Tagg (Hawkins) and keeps the town safe along with deputy Lofty Craig (Johnson) – the sheriff, Annie’s uncle Luke, was somehow very rarely around… It ran for 81 episodes from January 1954 to February 1957; two DVDs, with five first season stories on each, have been released by Platinum –  you can get the box set of both for $5.99, which is a steal.

Given its age, it’s no surprise that this is certainly a little hokey, but is by no means unwatchable. The writers cram a lot into each 25-minute episode, and Oakley is a sharp-witted heroine, in most ways years ahead of the usual portrayal of women (though still afraid of mice!) – she’d probably be a better deputy than Lofty! It certainly helped that Davis, a mere 5’2″, was a skilled rider herself, and did most of her own stunts. However, this being a 50’s TV show, there are limits. Annie never kills anyone, preferring to shoot the gun from their hand, while fisticuffs are left to Lofty, though at least one ep (Annie and the Lily Maid) has an unexpected mini-catfight.

Perhaps the best episode on the DVDs is Justice Guns, where an ex-marshal with failing sight seeks revenge on the man who shot his brother. Annie has to try and solve the situation, and while you know she will survive, the lawman’s fate is much less certain as the four o’clock shootout approaches. In a series that is, even I will admit, often sugary and predictable, this has genuine tension, and that’s something which five decades haven’t changed one bit.

Star: Gail Davis, Brad Johnson, Jimmy Hawkins

 

The Many Faces of Mulan

The picture of Hua-Mu Lan enlisting as a soldier instead of her father, was painted by Pan-Li shui on Dalongdong Baoan Temple
Pow951753 / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

The history

No-one knows who wrote the folk song, Ballad of Mulan, or even when. It was most probably composed during the 5th century AD, but the earlier recorded version shows up in the latter half of the 6th century, in the Musical Records of Old and New, a selection of works curated by a monk, Zhijiang. This version does not provide her with a surname; it was only much later, in a 17th-century adaptation by playwright Xu Wei, that “Hua” became accepted as her family name. But, while the conflict with the nomadic barbarians appears to be real, there is much doubt as to whether Mulan was a genuine historical person, or a fictional creation.

It probably doesn’t matter: the myth matters considerably more than the reality, especially at this distance in history. It probably helps that the story, as told in the original song, is not particularly heavy on detail. In English translation, it’s less than 500 words in total, so is more of a brief synopsis, an outline of the characters and plot. This allows each adaptation to create a version of Mulan in their image, moulding the heroine to their own ends.

For example, take Xu Wei’s version, The Heroine Mulan Goes to War in Her Father’s Place. While still relatively terse, perhaps only 20 pages, it adds scenes which show Mulan unbinding her feet before going to war, while all but omitting her battles. Foot binding was a symbol of femininity at the time, and so her tying them back up on her return home, symbolizes her willingness to accept a normal social role. Though it may also have been titillating to the male audience of the time. This is probably Quentin Tarantino’s favourite version of the story.

The play ends with Mulan taking part in an arranged marriage. It’s perhaps this aspect where those retelling the story have most latitude, as the original source says little about Mulan’s life after her return. Consequently, there are a broad range of outcomes. In some, she even commits suicide, such as the version of the tale told in Women Generals by Zhu Guozhen.

When the royal court finally heard about Mulan’s true nature, Emperor Yang offered her a position in the royal harem. Again, Mulan declined, saying, “Your humble servant is unworthy of this honor.” When the emperor tried to take her by force, and she realized that she could not resist his demands, she ended her own life.

Much as the story of Robin Hood can be told as a parable against contemporary corrupt leaders, so Mulan’s bravery and loyalty can provide a heroic figure to contrast with current events. This  applies to cinematic versions of the story, as well as the written, though it can work for the authorities as well. 1939’s Mulan Joins the Army, is unabashedly pro-military and jingoistic, as its title suggests. It’s unsurprising – China was at war with Japan at the time – but stressing the benefits to be gained by soldiers was a helpful recruitment tool. More on this topic below.

Political considerations impacted both Disney versions as well. The original came about, partly in an attempt by Disney to repair its relationship with China. This had been hurt by Martin Scorsese’s 1997 film Kundun, which was condemned by the Beijing government for its depiction of Tibet and its spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, as well as the Chinese Communist Party’s crushing of local traditions. This led to a ban on Disney movies in China, which lasted until February 1999, when the first film to benefit was… Mulan, the studio’s retelling of a local legend. While that film was already in production when controversy struck Kundun, it allowed Disney to position itself as a promoter of state-sanctioned Chinese culture.  It was only somewhat successful, though this was in part because the lengthy delay allowed pirate copies to impact box-office.

The 2020 live-action version was even more directly targeted at the local audience, with a largely Chinese cast. Even more pointedly, the Wall Street Journal reports that “To avoid controversy and guarantee a China release, Disney shared the script with Chinese authorities while consulting with local advisers.” The resulting story subtly (and, in some ways, not-so subtly) changes the focus from the right to self-determination for the individual, to the need for self-sacrifice for the greater good of the state. Yet, it doesn’t seem to have particularly worked. The film took only $23.2 million on its opening weekend in China. For comparison, back in 2017, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter opened with $91.7 million.

It’s interesting to watch the various versions, and see how they have built open the sparse foundations provided by the song. Elements are added or changes as needed, and they then become potential candidates for inclusion in subsequent versions. For example, among the variations on the theme which have been played: are Mulan’s parents aware or not of her deception? Over what time-frame do things take place? Is there a scene where she gets drunk and nearly reveals her gender? What about a bathing one? Does she stumble across the site of an enemy massacre? What’s included tells us much about the intent of the makers. 

But let’s go back to the beginning. Below, is a translation of the original source material, which is worth a read, both for what it contains, and what it doesn’t.

The poem

The sound of one sigh after another, as Mulan weaves at the doorway.
No sound of the loom and shuttle, only that of the girl lamenting.
Ask her of whom she thinks, ask her for whom she longs.
“There is no one I think of, there is no one I long for.

Last night I saw the army notice, the Khan is calling a great draft –
A dozen volumes of battle rolls, each one with my father’s name.
My father has no grown-up son, and I have no elder brother.
I’m willing to buy a horse and saddle, to go to battle in my father’s place.”

She buys a fine steed at the east market; a saddle and blanket at the west market;
A bridle at the south market; and a long whip at the north market.
She takes leave of her parents at dawn, to camp beside the Yellow River at dusk.
No sound of her parents hailing their girl, just the rumbling waters of the Yellow River.

She leaves the Yellow River at dawn, to reach the Black Mountains by dusk.
No sound of her parents hailing their girl, just the cries of barbarian cavalry in the Yan hills.
Ten thousand miles she rode in war, crossing passes and mountains as if on a wing.
On the northern air comes the sentry’s gong, cold light shines on her coat of steel.

The general dead after a hundred battles, the warriors return after ten years.
They return to see the Son of Heaven, who sits in the Hall of Brilliance.
The rolls of merit spin a dozen times, rewards in the hundreds and thousands.
The Khan asks her what she desires, “I’ve no need for the post of a gentleman official,

I ask for the swiftest horse, to carry me back to my hometown.”
Her parents hearing their girl returns, out to the suburbs to welcome her back.
Elder sister hearing her sister returns, adjusts her rouge by the doorway.
Little brother hearing his sister returns, sharpens his knife for pigs and lamb.

“I open my east chamber door, and sit on my west chamber bed.
I take off my battle cloak, and put on my old-time clothes.
I adjust my wispy hair at the window sill, and apply my bisque makeup by the mirror.
I step out to see my comrades-in-arms, they are all surprised and astounded:

‘We travelled twelve years together, yet didn’t realise Mulan was a lady!'”
The buck bounds here and there, whilst the doe has narrow eyes.
But when the two rabbits run side by side, how can you tell the female from the male?

The adaptations

Below, you’ll find our reviews of some of the feature versions of the story which have been told over the years: they’re in chronological order of the film in question. For context, the review of the Disney animated version was from back in 2004 (I’ve been at this too long!); the 2009 live-action film was reviewed in 2012; the others are new. This is by no means comprehensive: some, such as the first movie version, 1927’s Hua Mulan Joins the Army, appear to be lost, while others… Well, if you can get through more than five minutes of Orlando Corradi’s animated version – which, interestingly, came out before the Disney one, in 1997 – you are made of sterner stuff than I, dear reader.


Mulan Joins The Army

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“She’s in the army now…”

Y’know, considering this is now more than eighty years old, this was likely better than I expected. Chen makes for a solid and engaging heroine, right from the start, when she tricks the residents of a nearby village, who demand she hand over the proceeds of her hunting [I am hoping the dead bird which plummets to the ground with an arrow through it, less than three minutes in, was a stunt avian…]

Equally quickly, we begin to see wrinkles in the storyline, which might be unexpected if you have only seen the Disney versions. The first of these, is that Mulan’s deception here takes place with the agreement of her parents. She doesn’t sneak out with her father’s sword in the middle of the night, to take his place in the conscripted army of the Emperor. Her martial tendencies have been at least tacitly encouraged: according to Mom, it was her father who taught her the use of the bow and spear, since she was a little girl.

Mind you, with Mom saying things like, “Dying on the battlefield is much more glorious than dying at home,” no wonder Mulan comes up with the idea of being Dad’s stand-in. Her parents aren’t exactly happy about it, but they do understand the situation, and accept her decision.  This pro-military stance is something which runs through much of the film. Before leaving, Mulan says, “Father, I thank you for teaching your daughter how to fight. You are allowing me to fulfill my duty to the country, and my filial duty to you… You have granted your daughter her dearest ambition – to be of some use to her country.”

Given this came out during the Japanese occupation of China, the theme of “Let’s all unite and do our part to defeat the invaders” seems rather brave. Though oddly, when the film was released, it provoked riots in which copies of the film were burned, due to rumours the director had collaborated with the Japanese to get it made.

The second most obvious change is the time-frame. Mulan doesn’t just knock off the barbarians and return home in a month or two. No, she goes career, eventually rising to become marshal of the army, due to her bravery and smarts, as well as helping uncover a double-agent high up in army command. It’s twelve years before she is able to see her parents again, though she looks suspiciously similar to when she left. It likely helps she doesn’t have to rise through the ranks, being able to inherit her father’s position as his “son.”

While the action quotient is, unsurprisingly, fairly low, there’s a cool bit where she goes on reconnaissance, dressed as a woman – so, a woman disguised as a man, pretending to be a woman. Got it. She is caught by two barbarian guards, but bursts into song, distracting them long enough to stab them to death. That’s a first, I think. Though I could have done without the further musical interlude at the end, the romance between Mulan and her long-time friend Liu Yuandu (Xi) is never over-powering, and is more a sidelight than the main attraction.

Obviously, its age and origin have to be taken into account, and expecting modern-day production values would be silly. Yet, allowing for everything, I’ve been considerably less entertained by many more recent films. The whole thing is now on YouTube, with English subtitles, and should you be interested, is embedded below.

Dir: Bu Wancang
Star: Chen Yunshang (Nancy Chan), Mei Xi, Han Langen, Liu Jiqun

Lady General Hua Mu-lan

By Jim McLennan

★½
“Cinematic morphine.”

I probably should have done a bit more research before adding this to the list of versions for review here. I saw a sixties movie made by Shaw Brothers with that title, and presumed there would be kung-fu. Boy, was I wrong. There’s about one significant scene, which pits Mulan (Po) and some of her new army colleagues against each other. And that’s it. Oh, there is a battle between Imperial and invading forces. This might have contained some action, but was so poorly photographed – mostly due to incredibly bad lighting – that it was impossible to tell. What there was, instead, was singing.

Lots of singing.

For this is as much an action movie, as Hamilton was a documentary about the Revolutionary War. Now, I’ve no problems with musicals per se. I’m just more Rodgers and Hammerstein than Stephen Sondheim: I like something I can whistle. This sounds more like notes being strung together at random, and when an apparently jaunty tune is accompanied by lyrics more befitting Scandinavian death metal (“They burn, they slaughter, they rape, they catch”) the effect is even more dissonant than the score.

If I’d looked up Wikipedia beforehand, I’d have seen this described this as a “Huangmei opera musical.” Huangmei opera, in case you didn’t know (and I certainly didn’t), is a bit like the better known Peking opera. Except, per Wikipedia, “The music is performed with a pitch that hits high and stays high for the duration of the song.” To my untrained Western ear, this meant the musical numbers basically sounded like our cats, demanding to be fed. I don’t like five minutes of that kind of thing (especially at 5:30 in the morning). I can now state confidently, I do not like it at feature length either.

This actually starts reasonably well. Initially, Mulan conspires with her cousin Hua Ming (Chu) and sister to carry out her plan. This ends after her alternate persona tries to spar with her father, though he ends up giving his blessing. Ming accompanies her into military service, and they rise through the ranks. Mulan begins to have feelings for her superior officer, General Li (Chin). He likes her too, impressed with her intelligence and courage… and this Mulan would be a fine match for his daughter. #awkward. Cue mournful singing, naturally.

But the lack of dramatic conflict is what really kills this, stone dead. Mulan’s parents are largely on board with her decision. The invaders are never established as a particular threat. And everyone is remarkably chill with discovering the person they’ve known for over a decade has been deceiving them on an everyday basis. The complete absence of tension explains the tag-line at the top. Obviously, I am not the target audience for Huangmei opera. That’s fine. However, I’ve enjoyed plenty of films for which I am not the target audience, and I suspect this fails to travel well, for a variety of reasons.

Dir: Feng Yueh
Star: Ivy Ling Po, Han Chin, Kam-Tong Chan, Mu Chu

Mulan (animation)

By Jim McLennan

mulan1★★★★½
“Here be drag-ons…”

Disney movies are not the usual place to find action heroines: their classic woman is a princess, who sits in a castle and waits for someone of appropriately-royal blood to come and rescue her from whatever evil fate (wicked stepmother, poisoned spinning wheel, etc.) that has befallen her.

The first inklings of a change to this traditional attitude came in 1991 with Beauty and the Beast, where Belle was an independent-minded young lady who rejected the advances of the handsomely square-jawed hero, because he was an idiotic jerk. Unfortunately, the moral was somewhat diluted by the end when – and I trust I’m not spoiling this for anyone – the Beast turns into a rather convincing facsimile of said handsomely square-jawed hero. So, looks are everything, after all… Much more successful was their 1998 attempt, Mulan, recently released for the first time on DVD, which took a traditional Chinese legend about a girl who dresses as a man to join the army, and converted it into the traditional Disney animated feature format, complete with songs and amusing sidekick. Given the studio’s previous track record (hey, why bother paying writers to come up with new stories, when there’s public domain ones to rape?), qualms here are understandable. Perhaps most memorably, Disney gave Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid a happy ending, though turning Quasimodo into a lovable Happy Meal probably comes close – that whirring sound you hear is Victor Hugo spinning in his grave.

And, yes, liberties were taken, though to be fair, you expect this in any screenplay – especially one whose story originally appeared in a poem written by an anonymous Chinese author around the 5th or 6th century AD. [The poem also appears on the DVD, but without any attribution or context; you’d be forgiven for thinking it was written by a Mousketeer] From here sprang a whole raft of tales, with different eras, locations or surnames, largely dependent on the author’s feelings, but having several common threads. The story takes place over more than a decade, and Mulan’s identity isn’t discovered until she has finally returned home and resumed her normal life.

There’s also no threat of execution when her deception is found out – Chinese culture may perhaps actually have a more tolerant approach to such things, though this is admittedly going only by the likes of Peking Opera, and a good chunk of Brigitte Lin’s career. And, of course, both the romantic angle and amusing sidekick were modern additions. This contrasts sharply with one version of the original, which has the Emperor hearing of Mulan’s exploits, and demanding she becomes his concubine. Mulan commits suicide in preference to this fate, an ending that, for some reason, didn’t make it into the Disney adaptation…

Perhaps the surprising thing is that there haven’t been more movie adaptations of the story – contrast the literally hundreds of movies based on Wong Fei-Hung. There have been a couple, most notably 1960’s The Lady General Hua Mu Lan, directed by Yue Fung, and starring Ling Buo as Mulan (real-life husband Jing Han played General Li). Before that was Maiden in Armor starring Nancy Chan, made in 1937, largely as propaganda to rally the Chinese against the Japanese. The most recent version was in 1999; Yang Pei-Pei’s 48 episode TV series starred Anita Yuen as Mulan [photo, right]. However, over the past couple of years, no less than three versions have been rattling around in development hell. The most eagerly anticipated one stars Michelle Yeoh as Mulan, with Chow Yun-Fat co-starring. The director is uncertain (Peter Pau and Christophe Gans are most often mentioned) and production still hasn’t started, even though it was announced back in July 2001; recent reports now have it scheduled to begin filming early next year.

Stanley Tong has also been working on The Legend of Mulan; the original plan was to shoot this in English, with Lucy Liu and The Rock as Mulan and the Hun general respectively, but this may have fallen through; with Tong now working on the next Jackie Chan film, this one seems to be on the back-burner. Finally, a Korean version, with either Jeon Ji Hyun (My Sassy Girl) or Zhang Zi-Yi, was scheduled, but not much has been heard about this lately. The Disney version, on the other hand, just came out on DVD for the first time – in part, I suspect, to act as marketing for the forthcoming, inevitable Mulan II. The trailer for the sequel is on the Mulan DVD, but Lady and the Tramp II, The Little Mermaid II, The Hunchback of Notre Dame II and Aladdin II should give you an idea of how wonderful Mulan II will be. [It’s going straight to video, of course, but it does at least have Ming-Na Wen. No Eddie Murphy though.]

That’s a shame, because the original still has a great deal to offer. Unlike many Disney films, the songs don’t bring proceedings to a grinding halt and are notably absent from the second half of the film. Indeed, the transition is deliberately abrupt: a band of happy, singing warriors is stopped mid-verse when they come across a burnt-out village which the Huns have exterminated (right). It’s a simple, but highly effective moment, where silence says a lot more than any words. [At one point a song for Mulan about the tragedy of war was considered, but this was dropped, along with Mushu’s song, Keep ‘Em Guessing – both decisions which can only be applauded.]

Obviously, in terms of action, it’s hamstrung by the G-certificate (though the British censors insisted on a headbutt being removed to get the equivalent ‘U’-rating), but allowing for this, it’s still got some exciting scenes, and the first encounter between Mulan and the Hun army is fabulous by any measure. It also avoids the pitfall of many a Disney film – making the villains more memorable than the main characters. [Everyone remembers Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians; but can you name the hero?] Here, Shan-Yu is almost a caricature, but does what’s necessary quickly, allowing the other characters to be developed more completely, and compared to other Disney heroines, Mulan may be the most well-rounded human being.

Of course, Eddie Murphy comes close to stealing the show as demoted family guardian, Mushu. Unlike Shrek, where the competition for laughs with Mike Myers was painfully clear, Ming-Na Wen is content to be the straight “man”, and the film benefits as a result. Murphy’s accent is entirely anachronistic, naturally, but that’s half the fun – interestingly, the American DVD offers the option of a Mandarin soundtrack, which is a nice option. We did try it for a bit, but the Chinese Mushu just didn’t have the life and energy of Murphy, and we soon switched back. [HK singer CoCo Lee plays Mulan, while Jackie Chan is the voice of Shang in both this and the Cantonese versions] The tunes are perhaps not quite “classic” Disney, in the sense that they don’t stay in your brain for years after, to explode at the most inappropriate moments. They’re still fairly hummable though, and Jerry Goldsmith’s Eastern-tinged score compliments the similarly Oriental-flavoured animation well. The makers clearly did a lot of research, thought it does have to be said, the film does not exactly portray Chinese culture in a particularly good light; Mulan, the heroine, is shown as rebelling against it in almost every way. One reviewer describes its basic theme as, “a woman with western values overcoming the oppression of a backwards Chinese civilization.” Ouch.

However, personally, I’d say the value of having a clearly non-Caucasian heroine (a first for any Disney film) outweighs relatively minor quibbles about subtext. It may be the last great hand-drawn animated feature from the studio which invented the genre, and all but defined it for sixty years, so I have absolutely no hesitation in recommending this as an empowering and highly entertaining tale for children – of any age, but especially those too young to read subtitles. There aren’t many action heroine films our entire family loves, but Mulan is definitely high on the list.

Dir: Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook
Star: Ming-na Wen, Eddie Murphy, B.D.Wong, Soon-Tek Oh

Mulan (2009)

By Jim McLennan

★★★½
“Joan of Arc, without the religion. Or stake.”

Inspired by the same poem as Disney’s much-loved feature, this has the same basic idea – a young woman impersonates a man in order to save her father from being drafted in the army. However, this takes a rather different approach, being much darker in tone, not that’s this is much of a surprise, I guess. It’s also a lot longer in scope, with Mulan (Zhao, whom you may recognize as the heroine/goalkeeper from Shaolin Soccer), rather than fighting a single campaign, becoming a career soldier and rising through the ranks as a result of her bravery in battle, eventually becoming a general, tasked with defending the Wei nation from the villainous Mendu (Hu). He has killed his own father in order to take control, and has united the nomadic tribes of the Rouran, amassing an army of 200,000 to invade Mulan’s home territory. She comes up with a plan to lure him into a trap, but when she is betrayed by a cowardly commander, things look bleak indeed for Mulan and Wentai (Chen), one of the few who know her secret.

Initially, I was rather unconvinced by Zhao who, being in her mid-30s, is a tad old to be playing the dutiful daughter. But given the longer view taken by the movie, the casting makes sense, and she ends up fitting into the role nicely; there’s a steely determination which develops over the course of the film, and by the end, you can see why she has become a commander. That’s one of the themes of the movie: duty, contrasted with the terrible losses war can inflict on a personal level, Mulan being largely powerless to watch as almost all her friends end up dying in battle. “I’ve fought battle after battle,” she says, “Lost one after another of my brothers, I really don’t want to fight any more.” There’s almost a neo-totalitarian implication to the final message, however, which suggests that everyone – even those who have sacrificed everything already – need to put aside their personal interests for the greater good of the state.

There’s a nice balance between the action and emotional aspects, but Zhao doesn’t actually do much in the latter department after the battle which gets her noticed. She’s broken out of army jail to take part, after confessing to stealing a jade pendant, in order to avoid a strip-search [death before dishonour]. After that, she’s more a leader than an actual fighter: heavy is the head that wears the general’s helmet is the moral here, and it’s driven home effectively enough, thanks mostly to Zhao’s solid performance.

Dir: Jingle Ma
Star: Zhao Wei, Chen Kun, Hu Jun, Jaycee Chan

Mulan (2020)

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“The most expensive straight-to-video release ever.”

Okay, that’s perhaps a little unfair. When this began filming, back in August 2018, who could have predicted that the summer this year would be all but wiped out [seriously: the second quarter in North America, the total box-office was $4.8 million. Last year, the same period brought in $3.3 billion] As films scrambled to re-establish themselves, finding new slots for hopeful release, post-pandemic, there were inevitable casualties, as some were left without seats when the music stopped. Probably the biggest loser was the latest of Disney’s live-action adaptations, based on the beloved animated feature of 1998.

Despite a budget estimated at $200 million, it had the misfortune to be originally scheduled just before everything went to hell. Indeed, it even had its world premiere on March 9th, but the broader release was bumped, first to July, then August, before it was cancelled as a theatrical release in the United States, instead being used as a pay-per-view title on Disney’s streaming service, Disney+. Matters were likely not helped by online comments made by the film’s star against the anti-Chinese protests in Hong Kong, which triggered calls for a boycott of the film. It was notable, even before the film was commercially available, that the Google ratings of the film were largely 1/5 or 5/5, as competing armies of review bombers sought to skew the results to their desired outcome.

As with most things which provoke extreme reactions, the reality sits somewhere in the middle. This isn’t the first live-action adaptation of the legend I’ve seen. There was previously a 2009 adaptation from Hong Kong, starring Wei Zhao as Hua Mulan. Our review of it concluded, “There’s a nice balance between the action and emotional aspects… Heavy is the head that wears the general’s helmet is the moral here, and it’s driven home effectively enough, thanks mostly to Zhao’s solid performance.” It merited 3½ stars, a little above this, though that may simply be due to the newest version being more directly compared to the animated version. That’s inevitable, especially when Disney have sampled songs from it into the new soundtrack.

And make no mistake: I love the animated version: to me, it’s the best of the “new wave” of Disney features which began with Beauty and the Beast. It has a huge emotional range, perhaps more than any other Disney film outside Pixar, and can switch on a dime, going from cheerful song to grim destruction without jarring. I will also say, this is the first I’ve seen in Disney’s live-action adaptations of their animated catalog. All the others seemed entirely redundant, but this one seemed to offer scope for a different take on the subject. It does deliver on this expectation, but I can’t help feeling that, overall, more was lost here than gained.

The live-action version certainly doesn’t manage the same breadth of emotion. For example, there are moments here which feel like they should be comic – except they’re just not funny. It’s a Very Serious tale [capitals used advisedly], almost to the point of solemn, with this Mulan at times feeling like a duty-driven automaton. It’s a thoroughly different portrayal, considering the story is almost identical. When the Chinese empire is threatened by Mongolians, under Böri Khan (Lee), the Emperor requires each family to provide one man to the army. Rather than succumb to an arranged marriage, Mulan (Liu) takes the place of her father in the draft. Though her ruse is eventually discovered, Mulan proves key to the defeat of the invaders.

This edition, however, has no musical numbers, no comic relief sidekick dragon and no romantic interest for Mulan in the shape of her commander [this was apparently excised for #MeToo reasons, but doing so ended up angering some in the GLBTQ community. Yes, apparently, Mulan/Li Shang gay ‘shipping is a thing. Who knew?] Instead, it adds Xianniang (Li), a sorceress who assists Khan, but who sees in Mulan a younger version of herself – someone forced to repress their abilities and true nature, in compliance with social norms. Their scenes have some potential in terms of dramatic conflict, but there just isn’t enough screen time for their relationship to have much impact.

It’s something the film needs, to overcome what it otherwise a distinct lack of emotion. Crouching Tiger showed a martial arts film can still connect to the viewer’s heart, and this never comes particularly close to doing so. The heroine here largely operates in a vacuum, as far as relationships go, even after her true identity is revealed. This may have been an issue recognized by the makers of the animated version. The presence of Eddie Murphy’s Mushu there now makes a great deal of sense, providing that necessary outlet, and acting as a foil for the heroine throughout her journey.

Yet, boy (or rather, girl), does it look nice. Outside of a couple of moments of slightly flaky CGI early on, such as the young Mulan jumping from a roof, this is a beautiful spectacle, clearly influenced by the likes of Hero in its use of colour. The action is well-choreographed; having Yen as leader of the Imperial army doesn’t exactly hurt, even if you wonder why he can’t defeat the invaders single-handed. After all, I’ve seen Ip Man… [Also in supporting roles, Jet Li plays the Emperor, and the matchmaker is Cheng Pei Pei, of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame, but more relevantly here, was one of the first Hong Kong action heroines, in 1966’s Come Drink with Me] I’m definitely sorry we were robbed of the chance to see this on a big screen, as that’s the scale it deserves.

Most of the above was written within 24 hours of watching it, but now, with less than 72 hours having passed, I am seriously struggling to recall many particularly memorable moments. Overall, I can’t say I felt like the two hours were wasted, and it’s perfectly adequate as a big-budget, epic bit of wire-fu. Although, “perfectly adequate” feels like a disappointment, considering what I was hoping for, and this is not going to replace the 1998 film among my favorites, songs or no songs. 

Dir: Niki Caro
Star: Yifei Liu, Li Gong, Jason Scott Lee, Donnie Yen

Matchless Mulan

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

I suppose this could be claimed to be a “mockbuster”, not so different from the sound-alike films released by The Asylum, e.g. Snakes on a Train. There’s no doubt this was made to ride the coat-tails of its far larger and better advertised big sister. And it’s not alone, with at least two other Chinese films apparently in production, one animated and the other live-action. But it’s a Chinese telling of a Chinese story, and as such, could also be considered as cultural reappropriation. We can’t really complain about them taking their legends back from the House of Mouse.

Even in comparison to the tone of Disney’s live-action version, this plays as rather dark. There are throat-slittings, impalements and considerable quantities of arterial spray, certainly more brutal than the PG-13 violence in Mulan. However, Mulan (Xu) starts off as a bit of a pacifist. Her first encounter with the invading Rouran forces, comes when they’re out on patrol and suddenly stumble across the site of a massacre – it’s not unlike the similar scene in the animated version. When they come under attack by barbarian soldiers, she snaps off the head of her spear, so as to be able to engage them in non-lethal combat. Mulan later explains, “I came here to replace my father, not to take the lives of others. I don’t harm others and others don’t harm me.” Needless to say, this doesn’t quite sustain, and by the end, she’s impaling with the best of them.

Another difference is that two of her fellow villagers are assigned to the same post as Mulan – they know her secret, but respect it. This helps address one of the weaknesses in the live-action version, the lack of any real relationships for the heroine, because she’s forced to keep people at arm’s length. Instead, we get a real sense of her becoming part of a cohesive unit, such as her genuine distress when one of her brothers-in-arms is captured by the Rouran. That’s a contrast to the individual-first approach of Mulan, and there’s no magic to be found either, except for the wire fu used in the battle

Which actually brings me to my main complaint, the lack of interest the film has in these action sequences. While this is in line with the original story, which didn’t go into any great detail about her military exploits, it’s something we have come to expect. On occasion, things just kinda… drift off and fade to black, while the second half, which should build to a rousing finale, contains rather too much sitting about on the battlements of a lightly besieged fort, awaiting reinforcements. On the other hand, credit for not bothering to pussyfoot around the quagmire of politics. “The film is dedicated to the People’s Liberation Army of China”, boldly states the first end credit, clearly not giving a damn for Western (or Hong Kong) sensitivities on such topics. And that’s exactly how it should be.

Dir: Yi Lin
Star: Hu Xue Er, Wei Wei, Wu Jian Fei, Shang Tie Long

Kung Fu Mulan

By Jim McLennan

★★★
“Disney gets some of their own medicine”

Going into this, I was expecting it to be really terrible. After all, this Chinese animated version seemed to be little more than a mockbuster, riding on the trails of Disney’s live-action version of the Mulan story. That is a little unfair, since this film began production back in 2015, five years before its Chinese release in October 2020. But it’s that timing – less than a month after Disney’s version came out – which inevitably invited comparison, and the local reaction was utterly scathing, despite an advertising tagline of “Real China, real Mulan.” It was compared unfavourably to a Western version of Chinese food, and lasted only three days in cinemas before being pulled, not taking in even one-tenth of its relatively small $15 million budget.

This is why I was braced for something at the level of pre-school stick figures. The reality, however, is nowhere near that bad. The animation is, it must be admitted, functional rather than impressive, but matters are helped significantly by decent voice acting and a plot which doesn’t appear tailored towards 12-year-olds. We join Mulan (Guest) already in progress, with her in the army and going on a mission to assassinate the prince of an invading army from the Northern grasslands, who are attacking the Central plains. Except, nobody mentioned there are two princes. She stumbles across the young one, and refuses to kill him.

While escaping, she ends up falling off a cliff with the older one, her actual target, Arke (Lee). As they make their way back to civilization, they fall for each other, partly because he conveniently forgets to mention the whole royalty thing. Needless to say, her superiors are not impressed with the failure to complete the mission. But there is a possibility of her marriage to Arke bringing peace between the two kingdoms, though there are some who are not in favour of that possibility either, and intend to use Mulan a pawn towards their own ends. I will say, there’s simply more plot going on here than in Disney’s version, and if the visual side is considerably plainer, the lack of ill-defined superpowers for its heroine is definitely a plus.

However, it doesn’t take advantage of the freedom which animation provides. While there are occasionally pretty moments, it falls short of capturing the majestic grandeur of China, and animated martial arts is always going to be less impressive than the live-action version. Though the dubbing is solid, with Guest in particular bringing her character to life, any cartoon version of Mulan is always going to end up being compared to Disney’s animated one, and this is just not as good. The main deficit here is the inability to make an emotional connection to the viewer. I never cared about the fate of Mulan or her country in the way I did while watching the classic edition. But considering my expectations going in, this was far better than I feared. Then again, I quite like the Western version of Chinese food. :)

Dir: Wallace Liao
Star (voice): Kim Mai Guest, Allan H. Lee, Vivian Lu, Greg Chun

 

Sophie Blanchard: The first aeronautess

When I reviewed The Aeronauts earlier this year, I was disappointed to discover that its heroine, Amelia, didn’t exist, being a gender-swapped version of Henry Coxwell. But when I was looking into that, I discovered the existence of Sophie Blanchard, arguably an even more remarkable female pioneer in the world of early flight, who was an undeniable inspiration for the character of Amelia. It’s a shame film-makers opted to invent a made-up person, when Blanchard’s exploits are more than deserving of cinematic treatment.

She was born as Marie Madeleine-Sophie Armant in 1778, at a time when any kind of manned flight had yet to be achieved. But in the following decade, the Montgolfier brothers pioneering efforts helped trigger a continent-wide fascination with balloons and their occupants. Exhibitions and demonstrations proved wildly popular, drawing crowds in the tens of thousands, and setting off crazes for balloon-themed clothing, products and even hairstyles. One such balloonist was Jean-Pierre Blanchard, who had been taking to the air since just a few months after the Montgolfiers launched their debut flight. Among his exploits were the first flight to cross the English Channel and the first in the Americas, in front of President George Washington.

Blanchard had already been married, but abandoned his first wife and their four children for his aerial career. In 1804, he married Ms. Armant, who was not perhaps the kind of person you’d expect to become a daredevil. Her persona was described as being “so nervous that she startled at loud noises and was afraid to ride in horse-drawn carriages.” But she apparently had no such fear of taking her life in her hands. For that was a genuine risk in the early days, with the technology very much untested, and highly explosive hydrogen gas the favoured means of achieving the necessary life. In the event something went wrong, escape options were limited, with parachutes also in their infancy.

Sophie made her first ascent alongside her husband on December 27, 1804, and went solo on only her third flight, the following August in Toulouse. Other women had gone up in balloons before her, but she was the first to pilot her own craft, and become mistress of her own destiny. For Jean-Pierre, her presence alongside him proved helpful. He was not the best of businessmen and had run up considerable debts in the course of his work – this was not a cheap endeavour. The novelty of having a woman co-pilot proved good publicity, and helped draw crowds that were willing to pay for the experience.

For by this point, the novelty of merely seeing someone slowly ascend into the air had worn a bit thin. The Blanchards needed to jazz their spectacle up a bit to keep the crowds coming back. This included letting off fireworks from the balloon – a hazardous practice, given the inflammable nature of both the balloon and its gaseous contents – and tossing dogs out of the basket. Attached to those then recently-invented parachutes, I should add.

They toured Europe for several years, but tragedy struck during an exhibition at The Hague, in the Netherlands, on February 20th, 1808. It wasn’t directly a balloon accident, however. Jean-Pierre suffered a heart attack, and toppled out of the basket, from beside his wife. The resulting fall didn’t kill him immediately, and he lingered on for more than a year, before dying from his injuries in March 1809. Financially, this left Sophie responsible for his debts, and she had to keep flying, to pay off her late husband’s creditors.

Night flights and pyrotechnics were among her specialties and helped get her the attention of none other than the Emperor Napoleon. He had an “official balloonist”, André-Jacques Garnerin, but Garnerin fell out of favour after an ascent to mark Napoleon’s coronation went wrong and turned into an embarrassment to the Emperor. [Garnerin’s niece Élisa, was another pioneering aeronautess, and something of a rival to the subject of this piece]. Blanchard took over the position, and was reportedly named his Chief Air Minister of Ballooning. In that role, she looked into the possibility of invading England by balloon. Fortunately for the British, the prevailing winds across the Channel made the idea unfeasible.

Sophie proved just as popular after Napoleon was deposed, and she was wise enough to play both sides, remaining politically neutral. On the return of King Louis XVIII to the throne in May 1814, she marked his entrance to the French capital with a balloon ascent from the Pont Neuf as part of the celebrations. The new monarch was impressed enough with the spectacle to anoint Sophie the “Official Aeronaut of the Restoration”. By this point, her fame had spread throughout Europe and she travelled the continent, successfully paying off all the debts she had inherited from her husband.

These exhibitions were not without incident. She flew over the Alps, and some of her flights lasted as long as 14½ hours, reaching a height of over 12,000 feet. At that height, the environment was so cold, icicles formed on her face, and she was in danger of passing out due to a lack of oxygen. In 1817, she almost drowned when her selected landing-spot turned out to be a marsh, and she became caught up in her craft’s rigging after touchdown. Only the fortuitous arrival of assistance saved her from a watery grave. However, it was only a stay of execution, rather than a pardon.

Blanchard’s luck finally ran out on July 6, 1819, on her 59th recorded flight – an almost identical number to that completed by Jean-Pierre – at the Tivoli Gardens in Paris. Conditions were not ideal, with a strong wind blowing when she took off on a late-evening exhibition. The balloon had attached to it containers of “Bengal fire”, an early pyrotechnic, to enhance the spectacle. Sophie had trouble taking off, and while still on the way up, the balloon and its hydrogen contents caught fire. This was most likely due to contact with a tree knocking some of the Bengal fire out of its vessel, and onto the flammable fabric.

Some spectators initially mistook the conflagration as part of the show, until the craft began to descend rapidly, though its pilot tried to slow the descent by dropping ballast. Initially, this seemed to have worked, and the balloon came down on the roof of a nearby house at a survivable speed. However, Blanchard again was not able to make a clean exit. She was entangled in netting, and when the balloon then fell off the roof, it dragged the pilot with it, crashing to the street below. That secondary descent proved to be a fatal one for Sophie.

A collection was immediately taken up for her children, but on discovering there were none alive(!), the money raised was used to build a memorial (above, right) for her grave in Père Lachaise Cemetery, depicting a burning balloon, which seems a tad callous. Not that I imagine Sophie cared much. On her tombstone is carved “victime de son art et de son intrépidité”, which translates as, “Victim of her art and bravery.”

History has since largely forgotten Blanchard. There was an animated documentary in production about her, The Fantastic Flights of Sophie Blanchard, but there has been little news since the trailer (below) was released, despite a successful Kickstarter campaign in 2013. Otherwise, as The Aeronauts showed, she and the other early woman balloonists such as Élisa Garnerin and Élisabeth Thible, are little more than a historical curiosity. That seems a shame.

2020 in Action Heroine Films

And there ends 2019. Before we get on to looking at what’s to come in the action heroine arena for 2020, let’s quickly review what was saw this year from the film out of the 2019 preview. It was al mix of hits and misses – but probably skewed, rather disappointingly, towards the latter. Anna, Dark Phoenix, the Charlie’s Angels reboot and Terminator: Dark Fate all severely underperformed at the box-office. With even Battle Angel not exactly setting up a franchise, probably only Captain Marvel should be considered as a definitive hit. And it probably says something that I haven’t seen it yet. Our film of the year probably goes to She Never Died, which managed not just to match but surpass its predecessor. And with that… on to 2020, which should have at least a couple of definitive hits on the schedule!

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (7 Feb)

We’ll start with what seems certain to be the clunkiest title of the year, which everyone will refer to as Birds of Prey. Or maybe BoP. On the plus side: Harley Quinn was pretty much the best thing about Suicide Squad and Margot Robbie has repeatedly proven herself very watchable e.g. Terminal. On the other… Well, that trailer is a mess. I’ve watched it several times, and still have no clue what the film is about, It’s clearly a girl-gang/girl-power film, but I’ve got a horrible feeling it’s going to end up closer to Spice World than Switchblade Sisters. We will see.

Black Widow (1 May)

From Marvel to DC, and a project which has been in the works since at least 2004. Traction grew after her arrival in in Marvel Cinematic Universe, and though she’s not the first superheroine film in its renaissance. will have to fill the large shoes of Avengers: Endgame, merely the biggest box-office hit in the history of cinema. [I’m not counting Spiderman: Far From Home, because reasons] Scarlet Johansson has proven a good fit for the character, and has an action pedigree, even if Ghost in the Shell was underwhelming. I am cautiously optimistic for this one.

Enola Holmes (TBA)

This is the first entry of what’s hoped will be a franchise. The characters are based on the books by Nancy Springer, about the adventures of Sherlock Holmes’s teenage young sister. Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things plays the title character, who in this movie will be investigating the disappearance of her mother. Henry Cavill is Sherlock. The makers will be hoping no-one links it to Holmes and Watson, a turkey which won the 2019 Razzie for worst picture.

Gretel and Hansel (31 Jan)

Directed by Oz Perkins, the change in the traditional title was to stress she is the focus of the story, with her considerably older than her little brother (16 and 8 respectively). Perkins had described it as a “coming-of-age story,” though the basic premise remains as in the Grimm fairy-story: the siblings are trapped in and having to escape from, the house belonging to a witch (Alice Krige). The trailer definitely seems to put this into the “folk horror” category, not far from Perkins’s previous I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House.

Gunpowder Milkshake (TBA)

Certainly possessing the best action-heroine cast of 2020. Karen Gillan, Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh, Lena Headey and Angela Bassett? Okay, you have my attention. Not much more is known about this one, beyond a bare synopsis: “A secret sisterhood comes to the rescue of a mother-daughter assassin team.” Yep, still interested: Headey and Gillan are the family slayers in question, and the non-female cast is led by Paul Giamatti. I did enjoy director Navot Papushado’s previous feature, Big Bad Wolves, so if this can deliver on the potential of its cast, I’ll be there.

Monster Hunter (4 Sep)

Alice may be done, but the Paul W.S. Anderson collaborations with his wife, Milla Jovovich, on video-game adaptations continue on. This was a carry-forward from last year’s preview, but now appears fully set for September. A teaser trailer leaked in June, including Jovovich and co-star Tony Jaa, but that has been about it. Based on the response to their Resident Evil films, I expect this to be decent mindless entertainment, while fans of the video-games howl in outrage at how it isn’t exactly the same as on their computers…

Mulan (27 Mar)

Disney’s strip-mining of its animation vaults continues apace. But who can be surprised when the results include the #2 (The Lion King), #8 (Aladdin) and #25 (Dumbo) films world-wide in 2019? If I’d to predict, I’d say this will come in between Aladdin and Dumbo. Hard to say if the controversy over cast members’ pro-Beijing stance will hurt it: could be just a few Twitteratti who care. I know I don’t. This looks suitably serious, and the apparent absence of any comic sidekick should help in that department.

Pixie (TBA)

Limited information about this, but the synopsis is: “To avenge her mother’s death, Pixie masterminds a heist but must flee across Ireland from gangsters, take on the patriarchy, and choose her own destiny.” The tone appears to be comedy-thriller, which does help to defer the eye-rolling experienced following the bit about taking on the patriarchy. Hopefully it’ll go easy on the wokeness. Olivia Cooke stars, in the title role.

Promising Young Woman (17 Apr)

Speaking of woke… Going by the trailer (in the playlist below), this one appears to be betting on an exacta of SJW talking points: college sexual assault and rape while drunk. “A young woman, traumatized by a tragic event in her past, seeks out vengeance against men who cross her path.” Worth noting: “Promising young man” is what they called Brock Turner, student athlete and convicted rapist. I do sense the message here is considered more important than the medium, but a decent cast including Carey Mulligan and Bo Burnham, might salvage it.

The Rhythm Section (31 Jan)

Pushed back a year from its original scheduled release date of Feb 2019, So let me copy-paste: This will star Blake Lively as Stephanie Patrick, “a woman who seeks to uncover the truth behind a plane crash that killed her family. Patrick was also meant to be on the flight. After she discovers that the crash was not accidental, she embarks on a mission to track down those responsible by assuming the identity of an assassin.” It’s based on the novel by Mark Burnell, which “is not a thriller about the hunt for a terrorist, although that is the path Stephanie takes, and it’s not a story about revenge, although justice for her family is her initial motivation. Rather, The Rhythm Section is the story of Stephanie’s attempt to reclaim herself.”

The Serpent (5 Jan)

Not to be confused with the upcoming TV miniseries of the same name, this gets the year started, being released this Sunday. It doesn’t exactly look big-budget, while the plot is generic spy story #4, and I quote: “given a special assignment but then set up by her own agency.” Yawn. However, the trailer has its moment – the heroine letting loose with two automatic weapons simultaneously stood out – and if there’s as much action as it seems, could be fun. Interestingly, the film appears to have been written and directed by its star, model Gia Skova.

Run Hide Fight (TBA)

“17-year-old Zoe Hull uses her wits, survival skills, and compassion to fight for her life, and those of her fellow classmates, against a group of live-streaming school shooters.” In the wake of recent events, this may potentially be skating on the thin ice of good taste, unless handled correctly. We’ll see. Thomas Jane and Radha Mitchell play Zoe’s parents, though it’ll be the feature debut of Isabel May as Zoe. Horror icon Barbara Crampton is also present.

Tribal Get Out Alive (9 Apr – UK)

Hmm, perhaps Birds of Prey has some contest as the most clunky title of 2020? But what interests me most is star Zara Phythian (right), someone we’ve been keeping an eye on since 2016. Here’s a synopsis: “Elite military personnel Caitlin Ross retires from service after suffering from PTSD. Along with former team member and close friend Brad Johnson, they are hired by young, troublesome millionaire Richard Kenning to clear and secure the land and property he has recently inherited. It soon becomes apparent they are being hunted and the race is on to get out alive.”

Two of Us (28 Jan)

Originally known (in the trailer, for example) as Dead Earth, it’s the story of two young Thai women who try to survive after the zombie apocalypse. Zombies, unsurprisingly, ensue, if the trailer is anything by which we should judge it. According to the IMDb, it was shot in 9 days at an abandoned resort in Thailand. And a very long time ago, back when director Wych Kaosayananda was known as Kaos, he gave us Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, still the worst-reviewed film in the history of RottenTomatoes.com, with 118 reviews, none positive. Hey, the only way is up!

Underwater (10 Jan)

There was a spell at the end of the eighties when this kind of oceanic action films were popular e.g. The Abyss, Leviathan, Deepstar Six. But it seems like a while, so are we ripe for a resurgence? Kristen Stewart is the big name in a cast that also includes T.J. Miller and Vincent Cassel. The film follows a crew of underwater researchers who must scramble to safety after an earthquake devastates their subterranean laboratory. But going by the trailer, the earthquake appears not to be the last of their problems… Cthulhu. I hope it’s Cthulhu…

Wonder Woman 1984 (5 Jun)

If I was a betting man, I’d wager this one will take most money of these. It does appear a little less emotionally-intense than the first film, which focused on the hell which was World War I. This might be a more conventional comic-book approach, though I’ll admit to having been super-stoked by the trailer. In particular for its extremely cool use of an orchestral version of New Order’s Blue Monday, which managed to be retro-nostalgic and cutting edge at the same time.

Zombinatrix (TBA)

From the potentially sublime to the utterly ridiculous (hopefully, deliberately). The synopsis, as submitted to the IMDB by lead actress and co-writer Bianca Allaine: “A Dominatrix is brutally murdered by thugs. Returning from the grave as Zombinatrix, she takes great pleasure in incorporating her sadistic S&M kinks into killing anyone crossing her path. After all, she is into whips and BRAINS.” If it isn’t getting Oscar consideration this time next year, I say we storm Hollywood. :)

Girls With Guns Calendars 2020

This our tenth round-up of girls with guns calendars – an annual December tradition which started back on our sadly now defunct GWG forum in 2011. I thought initially this was going to be a lean crop, but after much diligent Googling (someone’s got to do it…), that turned out to be far from the case. We actually ended up with one more than in 2019! Below, you’ll find prices (generally excluding shipping), sample images and links to purchase for all the calendars we could find. We’ll add more if we find them, feel free to email us if you know of any others

TAC GIRLS

TacGirls.com – $16.95

“Tactical Girls® 2020 Bikini Gun Calendar starts in January of 2020 and brings you 13 months of beautiful women with some of the world’s most exotic weaponry in realistic tactical settings. The 2020 Tactical Girls Calendar includes the Cadex CDX-40 Shadow Precision Rifle in .375 CT, the Kel-Tec KSG KS7 Short bullpup Shotgun and last but not least the DRD Tactical Aptus takedown 5.56mm pistol which is combat-deployable from a concealed backpack in 60 seconds. All of these, along with a variety of carbines, battle rifles, machine guns, pistols and sniper rifles, all with gorgeous models in realistic settings.”

LIBERTY BELLES

LibertyBellesUSA.com – available from MilSpecMonkey.com, $16.99

“If you’re feeling a bit oppressed by tyrannical rules — appeal to heaven! If that didn’t work, take a revolutionary look back at the historic founding of freedom with our Liberty Belles 1776 calendar for 2020. With designs inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Alminac” — our calendar features a Lunar calendar, a side measurement tool, the odd bit of wisdom here and there, and —of course— girls with guns. This calendar features only Federally observed  holidays.”

GUNS AND GIRLS

GunsAndGirlsCalendar.com – $19.95

“The 2020 GUNS AND GIRLS wall calendar is packed with beautiful pin up models and many of today’s most popular weapons, everything from handguns to AR-15’s. This 16 month large format calendar is 17″x 28” when hung up and a perfect gift for any Armed Service Member, Police Officer or Shooting Enthusiast. Also includes a bonus 12 month poster inside giving you two calendars in one package! “

HOT SHOTS

HotShotsCalendar.com – $19.50

Sadly, this will be the final year of what has become one of the staples of the genre. “When we set out back in 2008 we wanted to try and create something different with the intention to complete a year for each month of the calendar. Our aim was simply raise as much money for injured servicemen and women as we could during that time, however long it ended up being, We’re proud to say that last year saw us hit that milestone of twelve years in publication along with 10’s of thousands of dollars/pounds donated to various wounded veteran charities.

It’s our pleasure to bring you the final instalment of the iconic HOTSHOTS Calendar as a Greatest Hits Mash Up of all our proudest moments. We’ve had many themes over the years and we fully understand it’s all subjective, so with that in mind, we will be opening up the whole archive in 2020 for you to purchase in so you can enjoy and keep forever. We wanted to make sure we finished at the top of our game and we feel this is the best way for us to bow out…”

ZAHAL GIRLS

zahal.org – $25.90

“We are proud to present our new ZAHAL Girls Calendar which combines the best of both sexy models and the tactical gear world. No gun bunnies! Only IDF veterans. Size is Approx A3

BIG GUNS

The Art of Lorenze Sperlonga – $15.00

“A 12 month collector’s edition wall calendar entirely dedicated to Lorenzo’s paintings of sexy outlaws and provocative sharpshooters. A long journey from western to sci-fi, passing through steampunk and fantasy. A beautifully printed 12″ x 12″ glossy calendar that opens out every month to an impressive 24″ x 12″ artwork. Two glamorous pinup each month for extra fire power, uncensored, the way he originally created them! Plus a calendar template with squares big enough to write notes if you want to! These are not simply pin-ups. These are killer pin-ups.”

BMC TACTICAL

BMCTactical.com – $20.00

“After a one year hiatus, our BMC Tactical Guns and Girls calendar is back! This year we‘re donating a portion of the calendar sale to help in the fight to kick cancer’s ass! I want to thank everyone that put this together: Photographer Alejandro Marentes; Producer and overall badass Luke Anthony at Agency 66”

WEAPON OUTFITTERS

WeaponOutfitters.com

In a cunning marketing plot, this one is available in two versions. Safe For Work ($19,95): “The new 2020 is just around the corner! We call this the SFW calendar (PG-13, non-nude) but it will still probably offend some people! But like we say: Don’t like it? Don’t buy it!”

Not Safe For Work ($29.95): “This is our adults only calendar (nude).  If you like this kind of content, consider joining and donating to our Patreon for as low as $1 a month!”

DILLON PRECISION

DillonPrecision.com – $14.99

“The Dillon Precision 2020 Calendar is in stock and ready for your reloading room, office, or wherever you want to display the World’s Finest Models and Firearms.”