“Facebook status: feeling infected.”

Firstly: it’s not a frickin’ virus at all! The threat here is a blood-borne parasite, which is completely different, so I have no idea where the title came from. Glad I got that off my chest. Where were we? Oh, yes… The Drakeford family have just moved in to a suburban community in California. Daughter Emma (Black-D’Elia) is trying to settle in at their new school. something at which her more extrovert older sister Stacey (Tipton) is better. This distraction is why they don’t notice the growing concern about a disease that’s spreading across the globe – until a classmate succumbs to this nasty ailment, which makes the infected highly aggressive.

From there, the siblings’ safe, stable world disintegrates rapidly. Mom is stuck at the airport, and when Dad goes to try and find her, he doesn’t come back. Matters escalate after Stacey drags the reluctant Emma to a particularly ill-advised house party [Maybe it’s just me, but in the event of any communicable epidemic breaking out, I would not exactly be attending social gatherings], where they get to see the effects of the illness first hand. Scurrying back to the sanctuary of their home, and hot local kid Evan (Tope), the sisters are thrust back on their own resources, as martial law is declared and the area comes under strict quarantine. This means fending off not only the infected; the military, too, pose a threat to what remains of the family.

Despite its title, the film makes a credible effort to ground its epidemic at least somewhat in real science. Specifically, it references the toxoplasma gondii parasite, which does affect the behaviour of its rat hosts. Of course, this is taken to extremes here, and you end up with something closer to what was seen in 28 Days Later: fast, neo-zombies, driven by hunger. Disappointingly, this is spun into a teen-centric story, which feels as if it might not be out of place on MTV. And, like most MTV shows, anyone older than the target audience will have to suppress a frequent urge to yell at characters for their poor life skills, e.g. the frequent removal of their face-masks (see Evan, above). Stacey fares especially poorly here, to the extent I suspect her brain being controlled by a parasitic worm might increase her IQ significantly.

The effects work is light, yet solid enough, and there is a shudder or two to be had, not least from the creepy parasites. If you can watch Emma hone her amateur surgeon skills – remembering a lesson given by her teacher father – without flinching, you’re tougher than I. Yet such moments are the exception, rather than the rule they need to be, and the lack of any real escalation is surpassed only by the underwhelming ending. Despite the unexpected death of one major character, as apocalypses go, this one feels more a moderate nuisance than life-threatening peril. “OMG, I can’t update my Instagram. This totally sux.” The movie certainly won’t be getting a “like” from me.

Dir: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman
Star: Sofia Black-D’Elia, Analeigh Tipton, Travis Tope, Colson Baker

Black Mirror: Metalhead

“Run Bella Run”

Black Mirror has consistently been the standard for thought-provoking, usually (although not always) dystopian science-fiction since it first aired in 2011. The latest season, the fourth, premiered on Netflix just before Christmas, and the fifth episode falls squarely into our wheelhouse. Filmed entirely in black-and-white, it’s set in a post-apocalyptic landscape following some unspecified catastrophe. A group of three people prepare to raid a warehouse in search of supplies – and, in particular, one item. However, their search alerts a security robot, which looks somewhat like a greyhound made of black metal, and makes quick work of two intruders, leaving only Bella (Peake) left to pursue. The robot’s combination of stamina, speed and absolute lethality will require all her human ingenuity, if she’s to escape.

The influences here are numerous. You could start from Terminator crossed with Night of the Living Dead, though there was a 1953 SF story by Arthur Porges called ‘The Ruum’ which was also built around someone pursued through a rural landscape by an unstoppable robotic pursuer. As such, this is always going to be a limited scenario, especially when there’s only person on the other side. It was probably wise for the makers to keep this at a crisp 41 minutes; the other entries in the season run as long as 76 minutes. However, I still had a feeling they left food on the table, storywise: this was especially true at the ending, where the strength of character Bella had shown to that point, apparently deserts her entirely. It seemed to me she still should have had fuel left in her tank, and this made for a disappointing conclusion.

Until then, however, it was a very well-constructed thrill-ride, with Bella using her smarts to deal with everything her dogged (hohoho!) adversary can throw at her. The balance ebbs and flows between the two, as human and robot tussle across the battlefield, both using what they can find along the way to help themselves. [Sideline: why is it, whenever anyone picks up a knife in a kitchen to use as a weapon, it is always the Psycho knife?] Especially in the latter stages, when the setting moves from the countryside to inside a house, it almost seems to nudge over into slasher film territory, with Bella as the “final girl” – albeit one rather more mature than the usual, teen-aged inhabitants of that trope.

Like the best dystopias, there’s more than an element of plausibility here, with the robot’s shape and movements inspired by the (somewhat creepy) products already being put out by Boston Dynamics. It’s also more straightforward than many Black Mirror episodes: creator Charlie Booker specializes in the final “gotcha”, a twist that radically re-defines what has gone before. Here, this is limited to a last shot in which the viewer discovers the purpose of the raid on the warehouse, and it’s more poignant than upending. It may not be one of the most memorable Mirror stories, which stick in the mind long after it has finished. Yet it’s an efficient and lean effort, capable of standing alongside any other episode.

Dir: David Slade
Star: Maxine Peake

The Golden Cane Warrior

“I guess Golden Cane Training Montage wouldn’t be as marketable.”

Veteran martial arts guru Cempaka has been training her four students, the children of other gurus she defeated, for years. It’s time to pass on the ultimate move, and the titular artifact which goes with it. She selects Dara (Celia) as her heir, but before Cempaka can bestow the necessary knowledge, she is attacked by Biru (Rahadian) and Gerhana (Basro), two of the students passed over for Dara. In the ensuing fight, Cempaka is killed and the cane stolen by Biru. The injured Dara is found and nursed back to health by the mysterious Elang (Saputra), a man with a murky past and no shortage of his own skills. Biru and Gerhana frame Dara for the death of their mistress, and use the cane’s power to take over the local area. Can Dara track down the last living practitioner of the Golden Cane style, and learn the skills necessary to defeat her fellow students?

Indonesia seems to be an increasing source of action films of late, though this is both different in style from, and not as good as, The Raid. It trades contemporary grit for a more classic and historical approach. Not that there’s anything wrong with this approach, intrinsically. It’s just that if you aren’t bringing much new to the table, then to make an impression, you have to do what you do well enough to make an impression. This only succeeds sporadically, and is bogged down by a middle section that’s positively glacial in pace. From when Dara falls off a cliff at the end of her first duel with Biru and Gerhana, the action takes a back seat until the final rematch. Cue instead, the training montages and drama that falls well short of being… well, dramatic.

Fortunately, the action which bookends this troublesome section is not bad at all. Though, unfortunately, the editing style is a little less than traditional, and appears more informed by MTV than classical kung-fu. This makes it hard to tell exactly how skilled Celia and her friends are; at least it never descends into incoherence, and you can tell who’s doing what to whom. The fight between Dara and Gerhana is likely the highlight, the two women battling both outside and inside, throwing everything they can at each other.

Of course, you wonder why Dara doesn’t break out the Golden Cane move quicker. Logically, it’s a bit like having a machine gun in your back pocket, yet still deciding to fight your opponent with a stick first. Dramatically, it’s both essential, and in line with the tropes of the genre. To be fair, you will need to accept that this is a film content to follow well-trodden paths, rather than breaking any new ground of its own. Even allowing for this, while delivering a couple of memorable moments, it certainly does not come anywhere near justifying its 112-minute running-time.

Dir: Ifa Isfansyah
Star: Eva Celia, Nicholas Saputra, Reza Rahadian, Tara Basro

Valley of Ditches

“Dull as ditches-water”

After a brief prelude, we first see the heroine Emilia (Todisco) tied in the back of a car belong to her abductor, Sean (Fenton), who is nearby digging what appears disturbingly like a grave. He is seriously unhinged and driven by his loony religious faith to punish those whom he perceives as deserving the wrath of God. Which in this case would be Emilia and her boyfriend, Michael (Sless). Emilia’s first escape attempt does not end well, and she finds herself in the hole in the ground, handcuffed to the corpse of her boyfriend. Now what?

The answer, unfortunately, is “not nearly enough.” I think it’s the lack of any real development of the characters up front which is the main problem. There’s something to be said for cutting straight to the meat of the matter. Except here, we don’t have any reason to care about Emilia, before we’re thrown in alongside her, and immediately expected to root for her escaping this predicament. There’s no particular motivation given for any this, beyond Sean’s burbling about Old Testament stories, including the one which gives the film its name. He’s the same, cookie-cutter slice of fundamentalist fruitcake we’ve seen a million times before: I’m not in the slightest religious, and even I found this more annoying than convincing.

There are various flashbacks to Emilia’s earlier life with an abusive father (Novell), and I read that abuse is supposed to be one of the film’s main themes. It says a lot that I had to read this, because the film certainly does not do enough to put its point across, whatever this may have been intended to be. There’s an awful lot of sitting around in the desert, and the heroine takes about ten times as long to reach the necessary decisions as I would, given the same circumstances. [I’d start with the principle: “Look, he’s already dead…” and quickly figure things out from there]

I will admit, there’s something to be said for the sparse approach here. There are really only three characters, and the location is mostly the desert, both aspects which cut back on the potential costs. It’s a setting which could be leveraged into a taut, effective thriller, pitting Emilia against Sean in a lethal struggle. Yet instead, there’s precious little tension generated after the first few minutes, particularly after Sean appears to have wandered off entirely, for some ill-defined reason. There’s a final face-off, in which vengeance is sought; I’m not sure it makes much sense, based on what has happened to that point.

This is probably all a little too “indie” for its own good, not least in the soundtrack, which seems to have strayed in from a hip, locally-owned coffee bar. The points it’s trying to make might have been better served by another genre, rather than dressing it up in the guise of a thriller, that doesn’t appear particularly interested in providing any thrills.

Dir: Christopher James Lang
Star: Amanda Todisco, Russell Bradley Fenton, Jeremy Sless, Andrew Novell

Vendetta, by Jack McSporran

Literary rating: starstar
Kick-butt quotient: action2action2action2actionhalf

Let’s start with a grumble. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by the number of full books – or even collections of multiple books – I’ve picked up for $2.99 or less. Maybe that’s why I can’t help feeling gypped when a book lasts only about an hour. The official page count on Amazon says 182 pages. But this figure doesn’t take into account that a significant chunk is actually the first few chapters of Kill Order, the first “full” novel about British government agent, Maggie Black – available separately for another $4.99! If I’d realized this was only 133 pages of actual story, I’d probably not have fast-tracked this. I was then further disgruntled to discover that the “Maggie Black Starter Library” includes both books at the same $4.99 price. Sadly, let the buyer beware. Is it too late to get a refund for this? Consider this volume docked a star of literary rating as a result.

It’s a bit of a shame, since what there is, isn’t too bad. Maggie Black is an agent of “The Unit”, an entirely off-the-grid intelligence agency of the British government, specializing in dirty work. She was recruited by her boss, Bishop, Nikita-style – whisked out of jail, after deciding his offer of employment was preferable to a lengthy prison sentence – and trained in all necessary skills. Her mission in this slim volume, is to go to Venice and disrupt an impending agreement between Carlo Rossi, an international drug trafficker, and Peter West, a British dealer looking for a supplier. To this end, she adopts the persona of “Rebecca Sterling”, a brash American also seeking a source of cocaine and heroin.

The task becomes a great deal more complicated after Carlo is assassinated during their first meeting, with Rebecca suspected of being involved in the murder. Fortunately, she has help, in the form of Leon, another Unit agent, playing the part of Rebecca’s bodyguard, as well as Isabella, an Italian undercover agent who had worked her way into a position as the late Carlo’s PA. This leads to three particular set-pieces: a chase across the Venetian roof-tops; an escape from a near-death situation; and a battle in a cemetery which turns into a lengthy battle and pursuit around the canals of the city, with an explosive finale.

McSporran (a pseudonym adopted by a children’s author – as a fellow Scot, I can’t figure out whether I’m amused or offended!) has a good handle on his location, capturing the atmosphere of Venice. The action, too, is quite well done, crisply and clearly handled. The main problem is the plotting, which runs the gamut from obvious to eye-rolling. One paragraph after Leon showed up, I could tell he and Maggie would end up in one of “those” relationships. The villains, too, do the evil overlord thing, such as chatting merrily away with their captives before deciding a quick death is too good for them [if ever I become an evil overlord, I will ensure any prisoners are checked for knives before being tied to a post below the high-tide mark…] There’s also a bomb which shows up out of nowhere, having not been mentioned at all before it goes off.

It is a solid enough set-up, with effectively infinite scope for development down the road, and I did like the lead character. However, the weaknesses in the story-line, combined with the bad aftertaste left by the quantity of content here, are enough to push any further installments quite some distance back down my literary waiting-list.

Author: Jack McSporran
Publisher: Inked Entertainment, available through Amazon in both printed and e-book versions.

Ingobernable: season one

“Dirty politics, Mexican style.”

This is not quite a telenovela, for this has only 13 episodes and aired directly on Netflix, without appearing on any television channel. It’s also a little more punchy and gritty than most, and rather than going down the well-trodden path of what I guess we should call the narconovela, is rooted instead in political conspiracies.

Mexican President Diego Nava Martínez (Hayser, the male lead in Camelia la Texana) plummets from a hotel balcony to his death. The prime suspect is his estranged wife Emilia Urquiza (del Castillo, the original Reina del Sur), though she was actually unconscious at the time. Rather than sticking around, Emilia decides to leg it, and is helped by some old friends in the Mexico City slums. It turns out the President was preparing to announce an end both to the war on drugs, and the resulting secret detention camps, run by the military. This appears to have triggered an assassination by a murky coalition involving the army, the CIA and a secret group known as “X-8”. Can Emilia prove this is more than tin-foil hat malarkey, and clear her own name?

Weirdly, the show was filmed without its star ever setting foot in Mexico. She is still on thin ice there, as a result of her relationship with jailed drug lord, El Chapo, and a subsequent – trumped-up, according to del Castillo – money-laundering investigation. Despite this, it does a good job of depicting life at both the very top and bottom of Mexican society, and pointing out the stark difference. As Castillo said, “The real criminals are the ones who wear white shirts and a tie.” Though this is likely heavy on the working-class hero trope, with the noble peasants banding together to stick it to the man.

Still, there’s enough to appreciate here, with Emilia being harried from one place to another, while trying to get to the truth. It helps that, before marrying the president, she was involved in security operations, which gives her an insight into their tactics – and more importantly, how to avoid them. If this is never quite leveraged as much as it could be, it does at least help explain her action heroine abilities! Emilia isn’t the only woman who knows her way around a gun either; given the reputation of Mexico as a very macho culture, these are quite surprising characters.

They include Anna Vargas-West (Ibarra), who pulls triple-duty as Chief of Staff of the President’s Office and the dead president’s lover… while also being a somewhat reluctant CIA agent, under the command of Pete Vázquez (Guzmán). And then there’s Patricia Lieberman (Marina de Tavira), the tenacious special prosecutor appointed to look into the President’s death. But the most striking cultural difference is when Emilia and her team are trying to get evidence about the detention centers, and decide that merely catching the Defense Secretary at an S&M brothel wouldn’t be sufficient to discredit him. Suspect that would be more than plenty in Anglo-American politics!

Annoyingly, the 15-episode series ends in a cliff-hanger, without any true resolution: something I should likely have guessed, once it was revealed that the Defense Secretary had nothing to do with the President’s death. Fortunately, the show has been renewed for a second season, or I have been severely peeved. Overall, I was reasonably impressed by the first, and if you’re looking for something with aspects of both Jason Bourne and House of Cards, this should fit the bill.

Dir: José Luis García Agraz
Star: Kate del Castillo, Alberto Guerra, Erendira Ibarra, Luis Roberto Guzmán

Girls With Guns: Best of 2017

Over on our Facebook page, we regularly post girls with guns images. These are the photos which have received the most “likes” there over the past year – there’s one for each month, plus a bonus pic for March, because two ended with the same number of likes. Enjoy!

2017 January [Photographer PFX Photo]

Picture 1 of 13

2018 in Action Heroine Films

Before we get into looking forward to next year, let’s look back at 2017, and what happened to the films mentioned in our last preview. Not a bad year, with Wonder Woman proving that an action heroine based on a comic-book could more than hold her own at the box-office. Though Ghost in the Shell proved that wasn’t necessarily a guarantee. The Resident Evil and Underworld franchises had perhaps the final outings, with their current personnel. And Charlize Theron solidified her credentials as the current queen of Hollywood action heroines, with Atomic Blonde (then known as The Coldest City) delivering the year’s most bone-crunching action. But what of the titles we mentioned there, which never arrived? Where is Annihilation? The Godmother? Red Sparrow? Read on, for updates on these, and other entries currently scheduled for 2018…

Alita: Battle Angel (Jul 20)

I loved the anime. I adored the manga. I am… not certain about the live-action adaptation. The trailer looks good, but the over-sized eyes they’ve given Alita are really distracting, especially since she’s the only one who has them. Still, Robert Rodriguez has done enough in the past to deserve slack: both Planet Terror and Sin City showed he knows his way around an action heroine, and it’s likely better he does it, than the original intended director of James Cameron. [How the mighty have fallen…] Though after the commercial failure last year of Ghost in the Shell, I wonder if the market is ready for this?

Anna (TBA)

Details are extremely sparse about Luc Besson’s new directorial feature. It will be a lot smaller in scale than the under-performing Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, with a budget estimated at $30 million, compared to Valerian‘s $220+ million. It will star Sasha Luss, who had a small role in Valerian, as well as Cillian Murphy, Luke Evans and Helen Mirren. But beyond that? Besson offered one image (right) through Instagram, along with the cryptic comment, “When Nikita meets Leon…” That’s all we have for now. While listed for 2018 on IMDb I’ve a feeling this may end up drifting back into 2019. Hopefully we’ll know more by next year’s version of this article!

Annihilation (Feb 23)

Directed by Alex Garland, who got a lot of acclaim for Ex Machina, it stars Natalie Portman as Lena, the leader of an all-female expedition, who enter an environmental disaster zone called “Area X”, in search of her missing husband. According to Garland, Lena “finds a very strange, dream-like, surrealist landscape, and goes deeper and deeper into that world, and also into that mindset.” A teaser trailer was released in September, and emphasis was definitely on “teaser,” since it keeps all the movie’s cards very close to its chest. But the cast, also including Jennifer Jason Leigh and Gina Rodriguez, has our attention, and the full trailer (a still from which is above) does nothing to decrease our interest.

Cadaver (Aug 24)

This should have come out in August 2017, but was shunted, first to February and now August. Not usually a good sign. It centers on ex-cop and recovering alcoholic Megan Reed (Shay Mitchell), who takes a graveyard shift at a hospital morgue, and according to the IMDb synopsis, “faces a series of bizarre, violent events caused by an evil entity in one of the corpses.”

Cocaine Godmother (Jan 20)

I’m not quite sure what’s going on here. Last time we checked, this biopic about Griselda Blanco starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, was known as The Godmother and principal photography began in November 2015. But according to the IMDb, that production is now circling development hell, with Catalina Sandino Moreno as the lead. Best as I can tell, Zeta-Jones instead moved over to play the role in this movie (left), which will be skipping theatres. It will also be skipping DVD, apparently, and appearing instead, directly on Lifetime. I suspect this may limit some of the more salacious elements of Blanco’s story!

The Darkest Minds (Sep 14)

An adaptation of the young adult novel of the same name by Alexandra Bracken, here’s the Wikipedia synopsis: “When Ruby woke up on her tenth birthday, something about her had changed. Something frightening enough to make her parents lock her in the garage and call the police. Something that got her sent to Thurmond, a brutal government “rehabilitation camp.” She might have survived the mysterious disease that had killed most of America’s children, but she and the others emerged with something far worse: frightening abilities they could not control. Now sixteen, Ruby is one of the dangerous ones…” Particularly of interest, Gwendoline Christie, playing a bounty hunter of teens who escape from the camp.

The Girl in the Spider’s Web (Oct 19)

Author Stieg Larsson may be dead, but the media machine grinds on, with a fourth novel featuring Lisbeth Salander and journalist Mikael Blomkvist, having been written by another author. This is being adapted by Hollywood, without even waiting for a Scandinavian version, though neither Mara Rooney nor Daniel Craig will be returning to their characters. Replacing Rooney is Claire Foy, best known for her roles as two British queens: Anne Boleyn, and Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown. After not being particularly impressed with the first American take on the characters, we’ll see if “not being a superfluous remake” helps this at all.

Headlock (TBA)

IMDb synopsis: “After new CIA recruit, Kelley Chandler is seriously injured during a mission, surviving only on life support, his wife Tess (Dianna Agron), a former CIA operative, becomes determined to find out what happened to her husband. As the details of Kelley’s last mission unravel, showing that his accident was an inside job, Tess puts everything on the line to keep Kelley out of harm’s way, even if that comes with dangerous consequences.” Will we ever see this? For its status was changed to “Completed” on Oct 17… 2015; the still above was released more than a year prior to that.

Ocean’s Eight (Jun 8)

I’m a bit surprised they bothered, after the firestorm of criticism – some justified, some not – which followed the all-female Ghostbusters remake. This might have a better cast: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter, though what the hell is an “Awkwafina”? Must confess to not having seen any of the male versions of the franchise, so at least this storyline will seem relatively fresh to my eyes. On the other hand, there’s a reason I haven’t seen any of the male versions…

Proud Mary (Jan 12)

Starting off 2018, we have Taraji P. Henson playing an organized crime hitwoman in Boston, who leaves a young boy orphaned after a job goes wrong. Described elsewhere as “John Wick’s action meets Foxy Brown’s retro style” – though you could quibble that Foxy Brown was certainly not “retro style” – those are some lofty platform shoes to fill. The story doesn’t exactly particularly new, and I’m likely about 80% sure I can figure out where it’s going to go. When the producer says it’s about Mary “finding her purpose and her heart again through this relationship with this kid,” that whirring sound you can hear are my eyes rolling…

Red Sparrow (Mar 2)

Jennifer Lawrence’s return to the action genre also re-teams her with Francis Lawrence (no relation),who directed three-quarters of the Hunger Games movies. She plays a former ballerina, Dominika Egorova, whose dance career is ended by injury, and who becomes a Russian spy instead. She falls for a CIA officer, played by Joel Edgerton, a relationship which makes Egorova consider becoming an American double-agent. The trailer doesn’t skimp on the promise of sex and violence, and according to Lawrence (the directorial one), will have a “hard R” rating. This year’s Atomic Blonde, maybe?

Scorched Earth (Feb 2)

This was originally supposed to be out last year, but vanished without trace from the schedules. At least, until just a couple of days ago, when a trailer suddenly appeared (and can be seen as part of the playlist below). It takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, where a bounty-hunter named Atticus Gage tracks down criminals. Which wouldn’t seem to fit in here, except that Atticus is played by Gina Carano, who looked very impressive in Haywire. The same can probably not be said of the trailer, unfortunately, which looks very generic; I hope the movie has more of Carano in action. This will be getting a limited theatrical release, and also opening at the same point across video-on-demand channels

Swords and Sceptres (TBA)

According to the IMDb synopsis, this is “A tale of women’s empowerment, Swords and Sceptres tells the true story of Lakshmibai, the historic Queen of Jhansi who fiercely led her army against the British East India Company in the infamous mutiny of 1857.” Lakshmibai is often considered “India’s Joan of Arc” and this isn’t the only film to tell her story this year. We’ll also get The Queen of Jhansi, but that appears to be a “pure” Bollywood film. This includes Rupert Everett, Derek Jacobi and Jodhi May, as well as the less well-known Devika Bhise as the Queen, so likely has a better chance of a Western release.

Tomb Raider (Mar 16)

She’s back! 15 years after Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life underwhelmed, Lara returns, this time in a grittier and less… ah, “bosomy” version. Alicia Vikander straps on the vest and twin pistols for this reboot of the franchise, as previously worn by Angelina Jolie. Is she “strong” enough? We’ll see, but similar qualms about Gail Gadot as Wonder Woman proved unfounded. Fellow Scandinavian Roar Uthaug is directing this, which gives me cause for optimism since he also gave us the remarkably bad-ass wilderness pic, Escape (Flukt). If this can match it, we’ll have the best Tomb Raider film thus far.

Traffik (Apr 27)

Here’s the official synopsis for this one: Investigative journalist Brea Stephens (Paula Patton) goes on what is supposed to be a romantic getaway to a cabin in the woods with her boyfriend, John Wilson (Omar Epps), but after a chance encounter with a suspicious gang at a secluded truck stop, they find themselves unknowingly in possession of a phone containing proof of the gang’s sex trafficking exploits. Caught in the crosshairs of the relentless crew, Brea and John are left with one mission: survival.

Widows (Nov 16)

Directed by Steve McQueen – no, the other one, who did Oscar-winner 12 Years a Slave – this is based of the eighties TV series of the same name [which I must get round to reviewing – I watched two of the three seasons, but it then fell off my radar]. Assuming it follows the same lines, this will be the story of a group of women, whose husbands are killed during a botched armed robbery, who decide to carry on and pull off the raid themselves. In this version, the widows will be Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Erivo.

Below, you’ll find a playlist with the seven currently available trailers for the above movies, to whet your appetite some more!

Strip Club Massacre

“Secondary staged carnage.”

After Megan (Watson) loses her job, boyfriend and the roof over her head in the same day, she decides to head off to Atlanta, where friend Amanda (Riggs) puts her up for a bit. Amanda’s boyfriend (Rollins) is manager at a strip club, and gives Megan a job as a cocktail waitress. But after realizing the gap in earnings between those employees who keep their clothes on, and those who don’t, Megan decides to make the jump into strip-tease. This rapidly brings her into conflict with Jazz (Brown), another stripper who rules the club through terror and intimidation, along with the help of her cronies. She takes it upon herself to make Megan’s life hell. However, she can only be pushed so far, before Megan and Amanda, push back.

A classic grindhouse title, which somewhat delivers on its premise: nearer to the “massacre” than the “stripclub” side, I’d say. Indeed, it’s rather more restrained in terms of nudity than I’d have expected. The gore, on the other hand, is plentiful in volume, if not necessarily quality: some of the special effects count as “special” in roughly the same way as “special education”. The story is basic to the point of simplistic: Megan is somewhat sympathetic, yet you’re never brought along on her descent into psychotic violence. It’s more like a switch is suddently flipped: I can imagine the film-makers thinking, “Right, 15 minutes to go, enough of this characterization nonsense, time for the rampage sequence.” It’s still about 20 minutes too much, and this perhaps needed a better outside hand, to cut down on what often feels self-indulgent fan fiction.

The most interesting character in all this is probably Jazz. If Brown looks familiar, you should probably be somewhat ashamed of yourself. That’s because she was previously known as Misty Mundae, and starred in a large number of films with titles like Gladiator Eroticus, Lord of the G-Strings and Spiderbabe. About which, I know absolutely nothing. :) She has now moved on from such things, and clearly knows her way around a script in a way that Watson (understandably, this being her feature debut) doesn’t. Jazz thus becomes hateable, in the same way Megan should have been likeable. She’s a vicious, coke-snorting bitch, who treats the club as if it were high school, and Jazz head cheerleader. A great villain, they should have made the film around her.

As a result, Jazz’s death is about the only one which packs any kind of emotional impact – it’s not too dissimilar to one I saw in La Esquina del Diablo, actually. The rest are mostly exercises in sloppy gore – as noted, some of which work, others which don’t. For instance, the (male) death by crowbar rape is perhaps more likely to put you off tacos than anything. [They could at least have used a fireplace implement, and had Megan cheerily quip, “How’s that for strip poker?”] And why does Amanda enthusiastically join in the mayhem? No credible explanation is ever offered. It’s all very clearly a small-budget effort, made with more passion than anything else. Unfortunately, outside of Brown, it does little to escape the obvious limitations imposed by its resources.

Dir: Bob Clark
Star: Alicia Watson, Erin Brown. Courtney Riggs, Stefan Rollins
a.k.a. Night Club Massacre

626 Evolution

“The voice-overs in my head are urging me to kill this.”

Rarely, if ever, have I seen a film so thoroughly derailed by one bad decision. There’s potential here, and those involved have some decent track records as well. Director Lyde did the last two installments of the Mythica saga, including the best one, Mythica: The Iron Crown, which was far more fun than it should have been. Chuchran, similarly, proved eminently worth watching in Survivor, also directed by Lyde, so I was hopeful the combination of the two would strike further pay-dirt with this collaboration.

There are two heroines here, both of whom are young women, and who possess psychic abilities including telekinesis. The younger one, known as 449 (Jones), due to the tattoo on the back of her neck, is a foster kid in an abusive home, who doesn’t have much better luck with life at school. After thinking she has killed her foster father, she runs off, but is fortunate enough to bump into 626 (Chuchran), who is similarly blessed/cursed with mental talents. Recognizing a psychic sister, she takes 449 under her wing. But it soon transpires, that both women are being tracked by the shadowy scientific research company behind them both, and who are far from willing to let their assets escape. Rather than running, 626 opts to head into the lion’s den, and find out the truth about their murky past.

The approach taken is heavy on the found footage, with a lot of material which is supposed to be taken from security cameras, drones, etc. as well as the cameras with which both subjects have unknowingly been implanted. If you’ve got a high tolerance for first-person POV, this aspect doesn’t work badly, and is an interesting commentary on our modern “surveillance society,” where just about everyone is being watched, all the time. Chuchran also carries her scenes more than adequately, right from the first time we see her, engaging in a brawl in a car-park. She knows her way around a fight scene, and I’m going to keep following her progress. The visual effects depicting the powers are lightly used but effective enough – as much to enhance scenes, as carry them entirely.

Then we get to the mistake. For some, inexplicable reason, the film adds a narration – I’m presuming by Jones – which is just horrendous. It’s entirely superfluous, never adding anything of note: it’s less an internal monologue, than a sub-MST3K wannabe. Imagine being trapped in a cinema, next to a precocious 12-year-old hyped out of her little mind on sugary treats, who insists on providing a running commentary to the film. That’s about what you get here, though it’s likely even worse in the execution than your imagination. I have no clue why anyone ever thought this might enhance proceedings, because they were wildly incorrect. It takes what could have been a decent slice of small-scale paranoia, and turns it into something which occasionally becomes nigh-on unwatchable. Pity, really.

Dir: John Lyde
Star: Danielle Chuchran, Ruby Jones,